write whats on your mind

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>>9625700
ah, blood meridian, monsieur? that novel is the sark and chaparral of literature, the filament whereon rode the remuda of highbrow, corraled out of some destitute hacienda upon the arroya, quirting and splurting with main and with pyrolatrous coagulate of lobated grandiloquence. our eyes rode over the pages, monsieur, of that slatribed azotea like argonauts of suttee, juzgados of swole, bights and systoles of walleyed and tyrolean and carbolic and tectite and scurvid and querent and creosote and scapular malpais and shellalagh. we scalped, monsieur, the gantlet of its esker and led our naked bodies into the rebozos of its mennonite and siliceous fauna, wallowing in the jasper and the carnelian like archimandrites, teamsters, combers of cassinette scoria, centroids of holothurian chancre, with pizzles of enfiladed indigo panic grass in the saltbush of our vigas, true commodores of the written page, rebuses, monsieur, we were the mygale spiders too and the devonian and debouched pulque that settled on the frizzen studebakers, listening the wolves howling in the desert while we saw the judge rise out of a thicket of corbelled arches, whinstone, cairn, cholla, lemurs, femurs, leantos, moonblanched nacre, uncottered fistulas of groaning osnaburg and kelp, isomers of fluepipe and halms awap of griddle, guisado, pelancillo.

The mind is like Tetris in respect to the fact that the unconscious mind is more crucial than the waking mind. Conscious thoughts spawn the blocks while the unconscious organizes the pieces as best it can. It's not always perfect, and sometimes blockages form. It's in this that the conscious mind must aid it's unaware partner by finding the piece it requires to be spawned next. The trick being to find how to make the game to do so, and understanding that it's always you controlling either side.

>>9625700
As i sit in this chair, drunk, I decay further. Closer to the nothingness of death. The worst part is, I want to be more. I question if that's possible of course. Will I become more? I know I won't. the question of 'can' is irrelevant here.

I just entered this thread. "write what's on your mind" got me hook line and sinker. Right down my alley. I still only imagined I was going to write only a little. But so far I'm about a minute or so in and I've only just begun.

I see you thinking to yourself. Reminds me a lot of myself only a few years back. And, well, seeing this sparked a little something inside me.

I just wanted to let you know that you're gonna be great man. Just hold strong, and always, always keep your head up. It's never easy when you don't have very many people telling you you're doing the right thing, or telling you that you're going to be great. And that's why you're always going to be stronger than them. Never better than them. Just more at peace--more in tune with yourself. The world will be a clearer place because you won't have the veil of pity and misconception given by what is falsely accepted anymore to be love. You'll know yourself better than they will ever themselves. Don't doubt yourself for a minute just because you're alone in the run. Everyone is, and you'll just know it better. With that kind of power, the sky is the limit, and the only thing holding you back is the imaginary anchor of doubt you've tied to yourself because your wings are on your back and you've never seen them before.

And it probably sounds cheesy as fuck. But I've done 1AM writing sessions keeping this board single-handedly alive myself as well not very long ago. And I never believed I'd be where I am now. Never stop putting one foot forward brotha. Nothing ever kills you until it does.

The thought that I'm with the wrong person is really making me feel sick to my stomach. I feel that it wouldn't effect me if we broke up but I wouldn't want to explain it to my family and coworkers. Isn't that shitty of me? Is it shitty? I don't know!

I took more anti-depressants than the one pill I'm supposed to take and now I feel weird. I think I may pass out or something. My body feels weird, when I lay down is like if it was "vibrating". I tried throwing up but it didn't work. I don't think I will die or something because I didn't take so much. I don't know what to do, I'm just sitting in bed looking at the window.

How long have cigarettes been redolent with the mystique of death? Was it always well known that they were toxic? Did Edgar Allan Poe smoke cigarettes ?

>>9625850
They thought it was good for your health
Morons

>>9625843
I'm afraid you're a goner kiddo

>>9625700
I'm starting to think that transcendental idealism is the way to go

>>9625876
Thanks

I hoped my VALIS thread would have got more attention

>>9625843
You're just overly numb. Similar to taking a painkiller.

>>9625923
I don't think Bupropion has sedative-ish effects

>>9625933
>This medicine may make you dizzy or drowsy.

That is medical jargon for 'sedative-ish' effects.

I've done nothing today but listen to personally nostalgic music and reminisce over when my life didn't seem so bleak. I tried to write for a while but what I produced was uninspired. I thought about calling some friends but then remembered I haven't talked to them in a year.

I don't even feel that depressed. Just aimless.

>>9626622
Occasionally I think of the fact that millions of people before me felt exactly the same. How did their lives end up? What were their most hidden secrets?

i feel lonely

>>9625850

The link between smoking and cancer was established by German scientists in the 1930s. Before that time there was a vague idea that it was immoral, and children and women were banned from smoking.

im about to turn thirty. i have been shitposting on 4chan for most of the past decade. I used to be a heavy IRC user, and moderated numerous channels. Before that I was a painfully prolific anime forum poster at ages 15-16. i am thankful every day of my life that anime bored me pretty quickly. i have a few friends who stuck with the anime thing, and it has basically been a death sentence for them. i know there are successful weebs with good jobs and happy families, but they are the exception, not the rule. all of this started early as i can remember. It was MSN chat rooms before then. What was i, 12, 13? posting on chatrooms, the start of the addiction i suppose. i would wait until my parents were not at home and "sneak" onto the internet (it was pay by the minute in those days, if you didnt know) and talk about music in those days, i had just gotten into the offspring, ask any other thirty year old white guy, most will agree, americana was a dope album. does having windows 3.1 give you any cred, or am i forever a hopeless poser before the ibm hipsters? at school they got us hooked with videogames. lemmings was a big one, we would spend hours gathered around this old acorn pc playing lemmings on our school lunch breaks. a few kids had amigas but fuck those guys ( i borrowed one for a month and it was glorious) anyway, all this digital addiction combined with pretty extensive drug use from about the age of 15 has left my brain seriously altered, and i find it increasingly hard to relate to the average person. im not entirely certain how im going to navigate this next phase of my life. my body is starting to hurt already, and my "friends" left long ago. i quit my last job and have been unemployed for six months. i never had a father, and my mother is about to be homeless. i guess thats whats on my mind.

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>>9625700
As I look at the picture flashes of sound come to my:
"Yeah, That Louis guy, Tharot, thereaux, Therout, make great documentaries"
...
"They even gave their dogs like xanax or anti-depression shit"
...
"It's true, Jamie could you pull that up?"
...
"Their dogs"
I shake my head, have smiling, quarter crying. It was not all true, but true it was enough.
And then it hits me, it wasn't Rogan, it was Klein.
I smurk *h3h3*
I need to clean my room.

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>>9626759
Also:
I need to get some sleep, I write worse than I think.

Wagecuckery will be the end of me.

>>9626780

better a wagecuck than social detritus clinging to dirty needles and damp sleeping bags under benches, i hope

>>9625700
I can't get over how dumb /pol/itics is. In my mind the only thing that matters is revolutionary monetary reform (how money is made, not how it is spent/distributed). A very quick rundown: all money is debt on which interest has to be paid. It doesn't take an expert to realize that there will never be enough money to pay all the debt. And so our governments plunge us into debt and we are burdened with increasing taxes so they can pay back central banks they get money from with government IOUs. I tend to obsess over things and I haven't thought of anything else for a week.

A decentralized crypto-economy seems a likely future, and it's a damn bright future if you ask me. Money that governments can't just print and subsequently devalue -- yet its easily spendable unlike gold and silver. Money that can't be easily taxed or stolen. Money that the powers that be can't start a war over due to its decentralized nature. It makes me sick to think of the generations of people that have lived and died under this grotesque system. This monetary system based on debt and usury will go the way of the Divide Right of Kings, and slavery, and other cultural practices that were at the time accepted as the norm.

I really hope I am called in for that Library Assistant job. It would be perfect. Perhaps I went overboard on the application. Maybe not.

i don't like this place anymore i don't like this place anymore i don't like this place anymore i don't like this place anymore i don't like this place anymore i don't like this place anymore i don't like this place anymore i don't like this place anymore i don't like this place anymore i don't like this place anymore i don't like this place anymore i don't like this place anymore i don't like this place anymore i don't like this place anymore i don't like this place anymore i don't like this place anymore i don't like this place anymore

>>9626829

the problem is authority, at the end of the day. how does the holder of the crypto economy gain authority

>>9626786
>life can be dealt only in extremes

wew

>>9626843
I'm not sure what you mean by authority.

>>9626881

what else is there to mean? assume authority, assume control.

>>9626889
>what else is there to mean?

a lot of things, potentially. I still don't understand the point you're trying to make.

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It's recently hit me that the reason I can't avoid putting erotic content into my writing is because porn consumption has been integral to my experiences with fiction. Now that I think about it, in fact, a lot much of the media I have consumed has been motivated by the female body, and even if in the end it has never been the selling point, it was very often the reason for me to plunge into those intimidating serieses.

But there's still more to draw from this disclosure. First, there is a whole structure of fan content that orbits a modern work of fiction, and this is a modus operandi I have taken wholeheartedly and unconsciously, but in which my personal work I have taken a a step forwards; that is, that where a work of art leaves gaps for its consumers to fill, creating a community in the process, I have, in isolation, actually started from the gap-filler.

And... I lost my train of thought...

It seems though, that art has stopped being a discussion between artists, and is instead now a discussion between author and audience. But who is my audience?

I'm ready to go to war with the last 500 years.

>>9626990
Julius pls

I am two-thirds of the way through The Umbrellas of Cherbourg, my son asleep clutching his stuffed fox in the middle of the bed. I am in a little room right off the bedroom, the 'office,' which contains a long table, a chair, two bookshelves and an all glass lamp with a pale green dome. Here it is warm, late, and i can hear crickets through the whirr of the industrial-style fan in the other room.
The top left book on the farther shelf is The Dyer's Hand. Next to it is When the Cathedrals were White. Next to that one is Fame and Folly. On the other, nearer shelf second row flush left is Aesthetic Theory, The Semiotics of Poetry, and The Wheel of Fire.
For some reason I am now thinking of Sappho, the lone apple on the topmost bough, the one the apple pickers 'forgot'.
But back to the movie. And to all a good night.

>>9625700
I can't get motivated to prepare for my exam because if I fail it I don't have to be in grad school anymore.

>>9626990
Do tell, good sir.

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>>9625700
the future. what it's going to look like. what i'll be able to do and say to accept a universal living wage if things going well. or if everything is going to collapse for real this time. we'll know pretty soon. i'm wondering if soon is within my own lifetime or not.

>>9627113
It's basically a consequence of me becoming an increasingly serious Catholic and realizing how incompatible Christianity is with capitalism, secularism, purely private religion, classical liberalism, and finance. Everything went wrong with the Protestant Reformation and then it all got worse when capitalism was invented.

So I've gotten the urge to mount a kind of philosophical attack on modernity. To clarify things that are muddy and to draw bright lines between things that aren't compatible. I suppose this makes me a reactionary, but all I'm interested in is the truth as I see it.

I cannot stop mourning all the sex I have not had.

>>9626829
i disagree, crowdsourced service providers for fundamental human rights and guaranteed anonymous communication in public spaces are the only needs that need to be provided for. in a few years when strong AI is developed give control over to that system, but let it be reprogrammed. redistribute all of the wealth through this new system of control.

My brain can't stand vacuum. As soon as I stopped being depressed and started looking forward to the next day for the first time, I developed a strong OCD. I think that's because I subconsciously started caring about my health.

>Walking home from food store
>2 mile walk
>The entire duration Asian woman with the best ass I've ever seen is walking in front of me
>Come into my pants just from walking behind her

wtf

>>9625700
You just changed it with that image, but I can.

>>9625700
smoking was a horrible habit but at least it got me outside in the sun every hour or so.

I wish I could resign myself to be happy with materialism, as so many people seem to be. They create meaningful relationships, live successful lives, and gain a sense of purpose or fulfillment through the exchange of currency. I don't resent people for that, but I cannot find myself happy living that way. I experience so much self-loathing, so many negative emotions everyday and I realize these insecurities developed from circumstances in my upbringing rather than my own philosophical conclusions. I can disprove why I should feel like shit, and argue that it's inefficient or a determent to my life, but I cannot stop feeling it. In a few years, I will probably have thought things out and came to peace with myself and be ready to create the meaning and relationships I have always wanted, but it is very difficult to live currently. Either I will be fine in the end, or I won't be.

>>9627609
I wish I wasn't dumb as shit with stupid high ambitions.

>>9625700
The advantages of high trust societies are obsolete due to modern cryptography and automation, but the disadvantages remain.

I love my city but I fucking hate the shitty weather we keep having. Essentially just 10 months of rain or cloudy weather, and two months of comfortable short sleeve weather.

On the plus side it gives me a semi-valid excuse to stay cooped up in my apartment for so long.

I have grown to hate people, and now I can't help but see them, their emotions, their flaws as disgusting. Several times I have written in my diary that I need to distance myself from my friends because being around them revulses me.

It should bother me, but I stopped caring about others a long time ago.

Getting rid of free social media platforms will do the world a whole lot of good.

All politics thought is just theatre plays in attempts to gain power, yes including 'equality' talk. There is nothing more annoying in a relationship than seeing someone you thought was intelligent buy into politics wholeheartedly.
An AI war would be the best way for humanity to end. Less brutal and chaotic.

>>9627566
Pics?

>>9627871
Didn't have my phone with me as its battery life is fucking shit. Dear god it was ass of the ages, sculpted by God himself..insane.

>>9627845
All centralist parties are for-profit organizations whose only goal is to get elected to benefit their sponsors. and people who repeat the mantra "We've swung so far to the right!" are historically illiterate.

>>9628013
Redundancy is your strong suit.

>>9628016
I try.

>>9627300
Based. I was raised Protestant and have been coming to the same conclusions as of the past few months

COME ON AND SLAM AND WELCOME TO JAPAN

I aspire to be a novelist while believing the novel is dead.

> tfw you realize you haven't masturbated to normal porn for 3 years...

I'm an unemployed 24 year old drop out.

I just broke up with the girl I love, last Thursday. Neither of us wanted to separate, but we're both aware that fear was the glue holding everything together. I don't know how to navigate the world without her, but that's a terrible reason to stay together.

Had vigorous bareback sex with an old friend on Saturday My dick wouldn't get hard at first because condom+got way too high. We both laughed. She's a sweetheart. She used to be really fat, and I liked her then too, but told her I didn't want to have sex, because she was depressed and I knew she'd get attached, which was honest. Now she's lost a lot of weight, but she's not very pretty. She's still depressed, but she's more in control in her life. She told me she's going to move Denver in 6 or 7 months.

Now I'm trying to calm my nerves while I wait for an attractive 19 year old I met on Tinder a few days ago to come pick me up. I haven't met her in person, but she's extremely into me and wants to fuck to the point that its concerning, about as concerning as her telling me I could slap her in the face and leave welts on her ass if wanted and that "people's hardest usually isn't hard enough". I'm all for making a chick cry during sex, if that's what she wants, but what kind of person says that to someone they haven't met yet? Guess I'll find out. Normally I wouldn't care that much about a girl that forward, I'd assume she's run of the mill slutty and that's fine, just not my thing. But she planned a whole date for us and a really creative one at that. Involving painting and weed and music and car sex. She's actually fucking cool. My sexual history is filled depressive introverts that like how caring and calm I am and now some bouncy 19 year old wants me to throat fuck her. I'm legitimately anxious, and I'm not used to feeling this way. I don't like it.

>>9629447
What a self congratulating piece of shit you are I hope your intention was to portray yourself that way cuz wew fuckin lad you're a narcissist.
>"which was honest"
That was the most douchey sentence if you were wondering. Frankly I'm sorry for responding since I know you come on /lit/ for the easy (you)s please fucking kill your self.

>>9629463
I'm pretty sure I'm not a narcissist in the clinical term. I'm definitely vain though. I'm curious what you think was douchey about what you quoted.

people constantly misuse the word "empathetic" to mean "empathic" not knowing the former is a bastard version of a latter from conflation with the term sympathetic.

>>9629502
You probably lack the capacity for curiousity since you are so self absorbed but I will just recommend you google "Sartre Bad Faith" and then "helium tank suicide method".

>>9629508
Googling now. I'm sort of familiar with the concept, but not enough to actually know how its relevant. I'll let you know how it goes.

>>9629518
It's relevant because he's suggesting you kill yourself.

>>9625713
I am so glad I can just double click a word for its definition
>Shellalagh

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I got really drunk at a party on Saturday and I can't stop asking myself, is this really everything life has to offer? I go to work. Is this all? I went to class. Is this all? I come home and see a pile of dishes. This is my life? I feel the regrets of drinking too much. How my only skill is socializing, and if I get too drunk I'm not in control anymore of the one thing I'm good at. How I have to depend on others to be good at a thing. I just want to be extraordinary at something. I study the law and I'm not the best. I try to improve my handwriting. It looks like a chicken. I try to play music. I can't keep time. None of my old hobbies bring me satisfaction anymore. I can't paint miniatures, play video games, watch movies. Nothing entertains or distracts me from the thought that I should be working on becoming good at something. I read some books thanks to /lit/ that weren't law books, and they were okay. But I'm not good at reading either. I have a horrible memory and nothing sticks unless I create a mind palace and that takes hours. But it never happens. I don't get better And I just lay here. Tired. In this mess of a room waiting for tomorrow to start everything all over again. Everyone is rooting for me and I just feel like a stale loaf of white bread.

I've fallen for a ruse and i'm standing upon the point of no return. I've ensnared myself onto the feminine form and it stills me and my lurid little heart and increasingly-fixating passions. She has all the prerequisite things to lure a naive idiot boy like me in - thick, swaying thighs. Long, lascivious, shimmering blonde hair. An ass like you wouldn't believe. Softly blue eyes, one having a merit-worthy spot of green: something special, something noteworthy, to be held in the back of mind and cherished in occasional glimpses.

And in each instance of giving myself unto her, I find myself dumbfounded, lacking breath and any grounding sense of the real. She takes everything non-material from me, drains me of my very vigor and manhood - i'm clinging to it where I can but I can't quell the horrid ruminating thoughts. I see her backwards lanced on my cock, I feel her insides and know it to be mine, below me and under my hand. What an intoxicating falsehood. This is how the match has always been played, I came in with full knowledge of it and I was yet never the more prepared.

And with each passing month the veneer begins to fade, and i'm left with a reeling array of considerations. Where are we to be headed, missus? Where along the line did I fall onto you, and you me? What insidious inspiration had you been chasing in seeing this through? Where are we to be done?

The last question is the foremost thing in my mind, today. Undoubtedly thousands of passionate leg-locks, hemlocks, and soft, tick-ly feeling secrets. There is a kind of reverberating realization in each passionate throe that I don't want to acknowledge, but I have this sort of mental picture created, and it is so:

I see her, in the aftermath. Sweaty and discharged, all to be had. The weed is dizzying, and it tends to leave no sense of self. We've smoked plenty in this time, plenty before. I watch as she look at me, in my face. Do the eyes ever really meet? Do they ever really? A silence has been drawn.

And I begin to think that maybe, maybe, perhaps this is not as passionate as I had conceived. Maybe it is something more simple than that; that we're just two lost, lonely kids trying to lose a little bit of ourselves in each other. And then the darkness returns, the calculated reasoning. She sees me as her mainstay, as the foundation for something long.

But I am, and will be gone.

>>9629637
Kek :)

>>9629550
This hits pretty close to home. I'm a law student as well as a philosophy student (which I thought would help with existentialism but every time I think I reach a content life it all just comes crashing down). I constantly have this gutted feeling where I feel like I should be doing something better with my time, yet when I actually do these things they don't bring me the joy or fulfillment I thought they would. In your case, like mine, I think you could be the world champion of something and still feel incomplete.

I never stop doubting every decision that I make, yet when I start to think about what else I could have done or what I could do now to change my life in any way it all seems equally useless and uninteresting. It's come to the point where I've become a compulsive liar about what I actually do and I can't even recognize my own lies anymore. As long as you're consistent in some parts nobody remembers or cares about what you say anyway, it's just human nature. By now this apathetic way of living has almost completely caused me to dissociate from any identity I used to have. I can't remember my own character and don't know when I'm being genuine when I think I have certain emotions. What's more is that I understand what you say when people are rooting for you. I have the same thing, I'm doing pretty good in social surroundings, parents could not be more proud of me, and my grades are alright. Yet I can't shake the feeling like everything I do is completely and utterly useless, wrong, and misguided.

Now that I reread this shit I just typed out, maybe we're not that alike. I just saw a law student who had a hard time and didn't need anything else to identify with.

Fuck. I'd expected venting would feel better than this.

>>9629682
Brotip: feeling uncertain about the future when you are a student != existentialism

My life is basically going to be nothing but pain I still want to see what I can achieve and I concede that creation is quite beautiful and awe inspiring sometimes but really I can't wait for this ride to be over.

>>9629682
A law student on 4chan is the coolest thing to read about right now anon. And I think, yeah, we have some similarities going on. I know the fake mask feel. I think the worst part is that old friends aren't interesting anymore and law friends are all assholes. And I feel as a fellow anon you kinda get that. I'm so used to my old group of friends that just shitpost and drink and sperg out. But now I can barely find the effort to care about their jobs. I can't find a woman I relate enough to to even chase. I feel so isolated. It's like they teach us the weapons to make change happen but they give us no cause to fight for, no real goals. I mean, I have mine, but they don't help me get there. It's like we're in a cocoon, waiting to pop out after the bar as a beautiful butterfly. But that just sounds like future hope again. It's always future hope that proprells us into the struggle. But we never see the fruit of it. Money? Who cares as long as I can pay rent. Fame? Power? Change? I just don't know anymore. Maybe I should clean my room. Maybe I should take a nap. Neither of those things will stop my boss from screaming at me tomorrow.

>>9629703
Right, my bad. Was more trying to go into some of the issues that people with existential depression without explaining too much. But again, my bad.

>>9629721
Honestly, many aspects of law don't even interest me that much. It's just a good choice if you're not good at beta subjects where I'm from, along with it offering a large diversity in possible jobs, on top of which law students (here) have plenty of time to pursue other things beside their studies (like a second bachelor or master studies or anything really). Which, because I don't really have a passion for anything, is just a better alternative than waiting for opportunities to come knocking at my door.

As far as friends go, the only people I can stand to deal with from my law studies are the ones that pursue law for more or less the same reasons. I don't really associate with any typical law students, which is probably a bad thing because of lack of networking.

I do really relate to your 'tomorrow is the day' kind of gut feeling. Where you're always thinking about how something will be good or better, just not today. Which makes me terribly afraid of the day I reach 50 and realize I'm still thinking that exact same thing, without having actually enjoyed a day free of worry or expectation. These things just paralyze me in a way. I just want to feel content with my choices for once and maybe even be happy because of them, is that really so much to ask?

>>9629721
I'm so caught up in my own shit that I didn't even reply to some of the things a nice anon said.

The isolation is a big part of it too, I just want to look at someone and feel mutual understanding. At least to some extent. But it usually just ends up in misunderstandings.

Law is so practical as well. There's nothing really to gain in a sense. I thought it would be more satisfactory than my part-time job, but it feels almost the same sometimes.

I'm going to bed now anon. Wish you the best. Thanks for talking to me. I'll check this thread in the morning.

I'm really hungover and eating spicy pistachios. Waiting for the basketball game tonight to drink more. I finished The Libary at Mount Char earlier and it was delightful. Really bored right now. I went out for a run earlier that turned into a walk. Kind of brainstorming a story that combines Big Brother and other voyeur shows with Clue murder mysteries where people are able to watched murders streamed live.

Currently I'm doing the thing where I don't know which book to read next so I keep perusing my shelves and opening random books to see if any of the opening lines hook me.

>>9625804
What's easier: saying, "We weren't a good match," to your mom or living for years with someone that you don't even like that much?

>>9626622
Gay waste of time desu

>>9626780
Have you considered charging exorbitant rates to walk rich peoples' dogs?

>>9626838
Then leave. Or just dip back in every couple of weeks. It's only really shitty if you spend all day here imo

>>9626980
The discussion between art and audience is the dialectic which allows art to exist. No audience, no art. This is first grade, Spongebob!

>>9626990
Fuck Christianity, amirite?

>>9627089
What's worse: staying in grad school or working a shitty job for minimum wage?

>>9627292
I too dream of collapse. Feel like I'd do better than most but that's what everyone says. But it's just a dream. 20 years distant if it's gonna happen at all.

>>9627300
Fuck God and fuck you

>>9627301
Sex is pretty easy to have. Go out there and get it, anon

>>9627609
What meaning do you want?

>>9627692
Seattle? London?

>>9627845
Nigga just delete your facebook seriously what are you doing

>>9629328
Read Samuel R. Delaney's Nova

>>9629447
When your biggest concern is that some chick wants you to throatfuck her you're doing alright. Also get a job you freeloader

>>9629550
The fuck is a mind palace?

>>9629637
You people take sex (and drugs) too seriously.

>>9629712
Man my friend has chronic spine pain at 26, more erupted discs than my dad, and even he can enjoy life. Like, it's been established: life is desire; desire is suffering. The practical thing is to harness your desire. It's strong enough to be weaponized, and with that weapon you can get at least a bit of what you want

>>9627609

your brain isnt producing the chemicals needed to enjoy life. repair it with therapy, drugs, general physical healthcare, whatever works for you

>>9627300
I tried that for a while. It's a great way to make yourself feel smarter than everyone while isolating yourself from the most barebones political discussion.

>>9630012
A mind palace is a way to remember things by using our brains impressive spatial memory and story telling abilities.


Think of your house or place of work or school. Imagine walking through it. You can see all the items and furnature in your minds eye. You then put an interesting object that represents another object on that object. For example when I walk into the library I see a chair, and in that chair is a busy marketplace. In one of the stalls of the market place they sell tube tvs. One of the tvs is on channel 17, and twin girls are playing guitars.


This represents the commerce clause of the US constitution. The three methods congress can regulate commerce are channel, instrumentality, and substantial relationship. I could just attempt to memorize things by flash cards or reputation, but I struggle with those.

>>9630318

is this the power of autism? or is this how normals work?

>>9625700
/lit/, femanon here. How do I into relationship w/ /lit/ male? Thank you.

>>9630337
reverse trap like a spartan wife

>>9630333
It's how all those memory champions remember hundreds of numbers or decks of cards. Normie use flash cards and outlines. But it's what the Greeks did so fuck it, it works. It sounds stupid, but it fucking works.

>>9630337
Be an abrasive cunt that won't stop bothering them with your opinion of books. Judge them and tell them what to do. /lit/ is full of introverted beta males that think Wes Anderson is talented. They can't do anything but start dating you because they will eventually stop saying no.

>>9630337
ask to role play in search of lost time with them. they haven't read it, they don't know what happens to marcel, and it's technically consent.

>>9630337
Find out his fetishes and become a woman that fulfills them. You will notice if you poke around the history of literature that a lot of writers are huge perverts with bizarre things that get them off.

>>9630364
>>9630365
>yfw crackychan was proust's ideal woman

>>9630365
I'm into DFW, what was he into other than kicking chairs? Ideally, I'd fuck DFW.

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>>9630369
>crackychan
>idealwoman

>>9630370
he was into audience pussy so if he weren't dead you'd be in luck

>>9630337
Just come to Maryland please

>>9630375
he was into women who would leave him torture rats. it's about the only kind of women he was into. read more, you degenerate.

I fucking hate liberals.

>>9630377
But could I trust where that dick has been and not get an STI?

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Told my family my health issue

I have some time to get my shit together, or I might die. Had some new blood work come in, my health is fucked up lads


Family wanted to talk about it, I just hung up on them

i love the night after an intense night of tripping on weed. when my brain feels empty and i can make some spaghetti, pour a little whisky, and recharge.

writing science fiction while stoned is the most fun i've had in this universe.

>>9630585
open yourself up to your family. they just want to help you, man.

>>9629857
nuts never do it for me as far as hangover food goes. i need either citrus or grease.

>>9629550
more and more as i get older i enjoy washing dishes. it's simple meaningful work, as opposed to a career which is a wasteland of kafkaesque bureaucracy

I want to have sex with a woman solely for reproduction, and after that, I never want to see a single woman in my life ever again

>>9630745
Why?

i should never give anything as little thought as i am giving to this post

I want frogposters to be gassed, they're a living cancer and need to be removed forever

I found out that my cat died yesterday. I'm away finishing up uni right now, and I'm so upset I couldn't be with her. I was pretty much emotionless when I spoke with my mom about it on the phone and found out exactly what happened, but as soon as I hung up I started crying, and I've been a mess since then. She shouldn't have died the way she did. I lived with her, and helped take care of her for almost 19 years, and I couldn't help her have the pleasure of a comfortable, dignified death. She used to sleep at the foot of my bed and wake me up by grooming my hair when I was a kid. She knew whenever I was sad. She would headbutt me, and try ferociously to lick my face if I was crying. She was one of my best friends. I loved her, and I'm not even going to get to say goodbye or bury her.

you, always

I just want to cuddle in bed with him all day

>>9630830
I am so sorry for your loss, friend, but what you need to do is memorialize her in your own way. If that's lighting a candle or donating a dollar or two to an animal clinic in need, you should do so. It's okay that you are were not there, the fact that she passed without you means she accepted her fate without ill feelings. Just try to go on in her memory, stay strong, friend. You are loved :)

>>9630849
fag

>>9625700
I'm cheating on my pregnant wife. I am probably gonna be ostricised from my family and work mates when they find out. My pregnant wife will prpbably stab me. If I am lucky I will die. I wish to die. Not out of guilt for cheating on my wife. I feel no remorse for that. I just wish to die. And have done so for many years now. Why is most of the posts in this thread about wanting to be taking out back and shot, so to speak? Are we sad because we're here or are we all here because we're sad. I wish I was a kid again throwing stones at cars and playing football with my friends. I miss having a social life. Why do we get old? Fuck life.

>>9631020
Been there, anon. It's horrible. Spent few years after working incredibly hard, keeping my mouth shut, and doing EVERYTHING I could to be there entirely for my kid, and financially for my ex. One thing- do not get 'sentimental' and try to go back- /you can't. Do not attempt to explain yourself beyond an expression of sorrow. Youll gain renewed perspective just having a kid and, believe it or not, love. It'll be like going through the fire. But youll emerge a better, more affirmative human being. Swear.

>>9631020
Ostrichsized.

Might have lost my job today

>>9630585
>or I might die

You'll die regardless man. So will I.

>>9625700
Is there any logical reason to care about anything that doesn't affect me?

>>9632767
no.

What does /lit/ do when they want to date? I work and go to school, but otherwise I am a shut-in, how do I get out there to meet /lit/ people?

>>9625721
10/10, don't care if pasta

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>>9632915
Unless you live in a very remote area and have no means of transportation, join a club of some kind. Whether it be sports, interests, political, volunteering - anything really. You could try meetup com, but I have no personal experience with it.

Alternatives to this are to go to events where people are less likely to go to in groups, so more people are looking for people to meet. These events tend to differ in origin, so I can't really name any specifics. You could also go to bars, but that's something you'd probably have to enjoy doing. If you go to these kinds of places, I recommend you go to a music venue or something similar. So that even if you don't meet new people, you'll still have a nice experience since there's nothing wrong with going to a performance by yourself.

>>9626776
Patrick Stewart, inspiring Tucker Carlson's look all those years ago.

This place depresses me, I wish /r/books wasn't so shit.

I enjoyed the feeling of sun on my skin today, and all the flowers are in bloom.

>>9633122
I think this particular thread just sort of brings that out in a few anons, which in turn causes more anons to do the same.

On a similar note, I woke up from a magnificent dream this afternoon with the warm sun on my face and for some reason reached for my neck. When I felt my pulse I was instantly overwhelmed with an incredible feeling of gratitude and tears started forming in the corners of my eyes because I felt this wave of euphoric gratuity surging through my fiber of my body, crackling through my veins, and pulsating from my very core. I had the unrelenting urge to drop to my knees and be thankful simply for existing. I've experienced a similar feeling once or twice (though I wouldn't say I'm religious), and today I resolved to become able to more aptly put this feeling into words and perhaps even instill this feeling in others when they read my writings.

>>9633164
I feel like this ALL the time, like once a week, i'm so glad somebody else has this feel.

>>9633164
>woke up from a dream and reached for a pulse
>"holy shit! I'm alive!"
You didn't try to DFW, right?

>>9633206
Do you have any clue as to what causes it, mentally speaking? I'm normally a very emotionally lukewarm/neutral type of person and have only recently gotten this feeling a few times. Once or twice it was because I felt gripped by a book in which an incredible expression of love was taking place, once was when I revisited my old home town and relived some serious nostalgia. It felt like it built up and then burst out all at once in waves my body couldn't contain.

>>9633241
Yes actually, i'm studying neuroscience coincidentally so I can tell you exactly why.

There is a part of your brain called the insula, which is connected to religious and sublime experiences, it appears to be triggered when people contemplate things bigger than themselves, such as sweeping landscapes, the idea of God, just generally anything that gives you a feeling of awe like a beautiful piece of music CAN make you feel that way, though it may not always. It is also switched on during meditation, it's one of the reasons monks and priests are so happy. It is possible to increase the strength and frequency of these experience by practising holding onto them. It is also strongly implicated in being hyper aware of physical sensations in your actual body, which is why something like you described can happen. Activity in this area of the brain causes feelings of euphoria.

It's probably worth noting the parts of your brain associated with self-centredness also dim during this kind of mental activity.

im to coward to off myself

I feel like I should be worrying more about my life than I currently do. I spend my days off watching clouds float over me at the beach, while the date of my move to a state further than I have lived from home is fast approaching. Yet, I am content to waste the day away watching things and dozing off beneath the sun, rather than preparing for a life changing event. I definitely feel happy, but at the same time I'm worried about how unworried I am.

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This turned out way longer than I meant it to be. In fact, I didn't even reach the original point that I wanted to make since the contextual anecdote took up so much space. Might as well reply to some other posts then.

>>9633462
That sense of nebulous mounting dread is familiar to me as well. You may be doing this already, but I'd seriously recommend writing everything down. If you right it down, then no time spent doing anything is completely wasted.

>>9633402
If pain or indignity is what you're afraid of, remember that there are vets in Mexico who sell barbiturates for cheap.

>>9633122
The fact that /lit/ is depressing is a feature, not a bug. I don't think that a literature forum full of happy people would be worth much. Nonetheless, I'm glad to hear that you're able to enjoy such simple things.

>>9632915
My attached image goes some ways towards describing my experiences, but fails to capture the full scope of what I wanted to communicate today. I'll have to continue on with this train of thought at some point in the future.

>>9632767
If it didn't affect you in some capacity, you wouldn't even know about it. Nonetheless, there are plenty of reasons to care about things that don't affect you directly. For instance, I care about whether or not Pluto qualifies as a planet because I'd like Neil DeGrasse Tyson's legacy to be ruined.

>>9631020
Ever since I was born, I've wanted to die. Mostly for the sense of freedom that comes with nonexistence. I constantly feel weighed down by all of these expectations and obligations and wish to escape them. However, it is these same obligations that keep me from ending it all. "I can finally die once I graduate from high school. Once I get my degree. Once I have a stable job. Once my parents are dead. Once my sister is no longer dependent on me." Do you feel the same?

i'm starting to think sex is a human need

I want to fucking die, I should start thinking about suicide seriously again.

I can't even begin to relate to someone

>>9625804
Just find a reason a argue with her and and they shout out "YOU KNOW WHAT? MAYBE WE SHOULD HAVE A BREAK!" and she will say "YOURE BREAKING UP WITH ME ?!?!??". That's when you tell her you're breaking up.

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As I'm writing I can't help but feel a bit of insecurity. As the authors who inspired me were almost all educated and intelligent people, but I'm just someone who never made something out of myself. I'm just a sperglord dweeb

>>9634873

You can be a genius and unrecognized, anon. Don't attach your own self-worth to how people perceive you. Pay attention to it when you're an author, but don't just judge yourself without trying.

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>>9633295
Not saying I doubt you but can I see some reference material or reports on this? I'm interested, sounds like something the government might be hiding from us.

>>9633122
It's too humid and far, far, far too warm. But I did go for a walk down in a park with a big waterfall and creek, and woods, when it was pouring rain. Scarcely anyone there, the waterfall and current was stronger than I'd ever seen, and it was a grand old time.

I woke up at 5am and couldn't get back to sleep so I responded to a message from my boss as she gets up about 2am my time. She asked why I was awake so early and I said I couldn't sleep so she told me to try jerking off first. Slightly surprised I demurred on the grounds that it would make a mess that I'd have to get out of bed to clean up, so she chided me for not planning ahead.

Damn son
Where'd you
Find this?

>>9634962
Went from being ok, to being complete pseud and "quirky lol" sex comedy. Do you guys really think that "smarter words = I smarter"?

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>>9625804
>Tfw everyone knows I'm going to break up with her, so I hang on just to fuck with them

>>9635221
>criticising the plot of real life

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>>9625700
what does enlightenment feel like? ecstatic, loving triumph. it is this jubilation that compels the awakened to help everything that lives, endlessly. you too... come. we will all cross over... every name for every person, animal, plant, rock, country, deity, uttered all at once!

>>9629550
>is this really everything life has to offer?

Yes. The Phenomenal world is a desert.

lol at the bernie bro shooting up some nra supporting republican dickhead's baseball game

I just don't want to live, I don't like life. I have no legit motivation and will because any kind of goal is related to life. I'm already on meds but they just kill the physical pain and make me get up in the morning. I was in too much pain and lossing my mind, so finally I reached up help. Big mistake. I should had let this "illness" overcome me, eventually a major psychotic breakdown would had come and that way I could have killed myself. But since I'm "better" because of the pills I just can't do it, it scares me, my body doesn't let me. This is hell. I hope some nigger would shoot me while trying to steal my money or something. Or get hitted by a car. Life is disgusting, at least my life is. I just can't see something good in this. Everything feels "poor". I don't really know how to describe it. I can't relate with a single human being, everyone seems to be on another channel or frequency. I don't want any of this. Happines doesn't motivate me, neither money, sex, etc. There is no life in me and I don't understand why or know when did it become like this. I was a mistake.

>>9636702
Reality is starting to feel like satire at this point.


I don't really know what to do anymore lads. A few months ago my girlfriend and I had a really bad breakup. I blamed myself and felt genuinely bad for hurting her, and I felt like I didn't want to live for a while. It was the hardest and loneliest part of my life. I've been doing well for the past couple months: I got a new job , met some new friends, finished a couple short stories that will be published later this year. Things have been going well, but I found out earlier today that my ex girlfriend had been cheating on me. I just feel completely foolish and angry. I blamed myself for the faults in our relationship, even though I did my best to make her happy and give her a good life. I was completely used and made a fool of. I don't know if I'll be able to trust anyone for a while. Any books for this feel?

>>9636833
The book of kill yourself

>>9636702
There's going to be a fucking armed conflict over politics in this country again. Everybody is just so fucking pissed.

>>9636833
>blah blah muh girlfriend

fuck off normie no one cares and your stories are normie shit too

>>9625700
"Jive"!
He yelled.
As he jumped into the parking lot.
Drunk off the clear liquor that he stole out of my moms mahogany cabinet.
Drunk off the thrill I watched him go. Bumping and jumping and stumbling and fumbling.
Flash to.
Today I'm here today he's near. A glance sideways to the frame on my counter. Outlined in black, three faces grinning in the neon OPEN sign with the E faded and empty.
Happiness he remembers how it felt. Wild. Young. Alive.
Still drinking. All are gone but him. But all are here too.
"Jive!"
He hears. Taking a swig from his clear bottle. With clear liquid.

>>9636833
Though it is shit to be cheated on, it's also an englightening experience. Now you know what a cunt looks like up close and will be able to spot one and eventually fall for a girl you will live the rest of your life with happily.

Your cunt exGF on the other hand is destined for a life of never being gratified and might pick up an STD before she becomes ugly and used up by excessive alcohol drinking in her early age.

I'd say you've experienced a win.

T. Charlie Sheen

If I go through with my plans and truly write the idea I have had in my mind for years, would people read it? When I share my idea, people seem to like it, but that's only the surface. It is probably too complicated. Too much implying and requires too much thought. Perhaps too many characters, despite my ability to toss some out and make them background characters. Probably appeals to more of a teen-like audience but if I saw a 14 year old reading it, I would probably feel ashamed as they are obviously neglected. It's so scattered, despite the plot being solid enough. Might as well not.

Kinda felt good to write that down.

I do not want to forget you

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I've always been a clean and stout boy up until 20, which is how old I am now. I rekindled with a friend who introduced me to weed and I have been smoking with him off and on for the last year. I then started to do cocaine with him sometimes, not often but here and there. No enough to get me addicted which is good I guess. He also introduced me to acid and shrooms and then on 6/24 I'll be doing ecstasy for the first time.
I have a girlfriend who is very against drugs, and she knows I smoke but nothing else. She doesn't like these friends I hang out with, though I enjoy them. Not for the drugs but them. But I think it might just be for the free drugs in the end. I hide the rest behind her back, because I want to do these things for my "bucket list" I always call it but she wants nothing to do with them, she just doesn't like them.
I want to stop. I want them to go away, but I always find myself going back to the drugs and for their company behind her back.
I don't know how to stop doing it and just come clean about it to her but I can't. She would be so disappointed in me and I can't bare to feel that with the love of my life.
I need to stop these drugs and find myself again but I enjoy the lsd and the shrooms and the coke and the weed so much.
I have LPN school coming up, so maybe that'll get me off of these things while I'm too busy to even breathe with school.
If I don't get in LPN school I'll join the army. It'll be the only thing I have left I can do.
I get pressured into these things as well, but it's ultimately up to me to say no. But how can I? They're the only friends I have who want to see me and do things with me besides my girlfriend whom I want to marry.

>>9630830
When my cat died, I died emotionally and have been a shell of a person since. I had only even known him for 3 or 4 years, but I found him when he was just old enough to start eating hard foods. When my grandparents died, I felt literally nothing, and now that my mother has cancer and my life is likely to be thrown into a massive upheaval I can barely even summon the energy to just say "Hey, are you doing ok? Maybe you should go for a walk or a drive instead of sleeping all day? Want me to come with you?"
I'm positive my loneliness in my younger years caused some form of insanity, and after the one thing that had managed to penetrate my heart passed away, I lost something of my humanity. I am certain I am an awful person.

>>9634057
>on the bead
ITS BED GOD DAMN

>>9637024
>Not enough to get addicted
You're already addicted you dirty addict. Just fucking stop. Put a big ass fucking stop sign in your room, and every time that fucking hooligan of a friend calls you up you give that fucking sign a stare down like it'll chop your dick off if you blink. And you tell him no.

>>9625700
From memory:

Lars Porsena of Clusium
By the nine gods he swore
That the great house of Tarquin
Should suffer wrongs no more.
By the nine gods he swore
And named a trysting day
And bade his messengers ride forth
To south and west and east and north
To summon his array.

To south and west and east and north
The messengers ride fast
And tower and village and cottage
Have heard the trumpet's blast
Shame on the false Etruscan
Who lingers in his home
While Porsena of Clusium
Is on the march to Rome.

The horsemen and the footmen
Are pouring in amain
From many a stately marketplace
And many a fruitful plain,
From many a lonely hamlet
Which, hidden by beech and pine,
Like eagles nests hang from the crest
Of purple Apennine.

From lordly Volaterrae
Where scowls the far-famed hold
Piled by hands of giants
For godlike kings of old
From sea-girt Populonia
Whose sentinels descry
Sardinia's snowy mountain-tops
Fringing the southern sky

cont

>>9637082
I guess I am.. I'm even thinking about wanting to hang out with him tonight after work and there wouldn't be a reason to other than for the drugs he lets me use. Jesus Christ I didn't even realize I was addicted to it..

>>9637082
>caring what other people do

>>9637130
From the proud mart of Pisae
Queen of the western waves
Where ride Massilia's triremes
Heavy with fair haired slaves
Where wanders the sweet Clanis
Through wheat and vines and flowers
From where Cortona lifts on high
Her diadem of towers.

Tall are the oaks whose acorns
Drop in dark Auser's rill;
Fat are the stags that champ the boughs
Of the Ciminian hill.
Beyond of all streams, Clitumnus
Is to the herdsman dear.
Best of all pools the fowler loves
The great Volsinian mere.

But now no stroke of woodsman
Is heard by Auser's rill;
No hunter tracks the stag's green path
Up the Ciminian hill.
Unwatched along Clitumnus
Grazes the milk-white steer
Unharmed the waterfowl may dip
In the Volsinian mere.

The harvests of Arretium
This year old men shall reap;
This year young boys in Umbro
Shall plunge the struggling sheep
And in the vats of Luna
This year the must shall foam
Round the white feet of laughing girls
Whose sires have marched to Rome.

There be thirty chosen prophets
The wisest of the land
Who always by Lars Porsena
Both morn and evening stand
Evening and morn the thirty
Have turned the verses o'er
Stitched from the right on linen white
By mighty seers of yore.

And with one voice the thirty
Have their glad answer given:
"Go forth, go forth, Lars Porsena
Go forth beloved of Heaven!
Go, and return in glory
To Clusium's royal dome
And hang round Nurscia's altars
The golden shields of Rome!"

And now hath every city
Sent up her tale of men:
The foot are fourscore thousand
The horse are thousands ten.
Before the gates of Sutrium
Has met the great array;
A proud man was Lars Porsena
Upon the trysting day.

That's all I got.

>>9637024
There's nothing wrong with doing drugs in moderation but make sure it's not the only thing you do with your friends. Also ditch the coke, it's by far the most addictive one you're doing.

>>9625700
Since transgenders aren't people, it wouldn't be cannibalism if I killed and ate one.

>As a follow-up to my first Book Expo post, I thought it would be good to put together a list of some of the upcoming diverse titles I heard about at the conference. This is by no means a complete list, so if you have any additional titles, share them in the comments! And click here to check out this awesome list of strong women featured at BEA!

http://bookriot.com/2017/06/14/diverse-titles-at-book-expo-america/

I'm wondering whether "lifestyle marketing" will have negative long-term effects on society. Basing your reading choices content curators such as this can't be good for you.

I think I may be a pederast. Or, rather, I have no interest in an active relationship with a young boy, but I do to a certain degree find them arousing, especially when they're particularly feminine.

my money

Put a lot of work into getting good grades this quarter, just finished my last final and probably did pretty well in all of my classes.

Thought I'd be happier than I am.

Realizing my life is an endless series of japes.

That feel when you're so apathetic about life that you can't even work up the will to kill yourself.

I wonder how people can truly care about something.

>>9625721
The conscious mind spawns the blocks? Seems like you got that backwards desu.

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I need to quit wagecuckery if I want to write seriously.

I have been in love for nearly a year now. I am 24 and she is 17. The age difference is legal in my state and isn't something that ever crosses my mind unless it's directly addressed, or if I'm reminded of it due to school or her lack of knowledge of certain aspects of the nineties.
I love her to death. I've been with a copious amount of women, both in the context of serious relationships and casual sex. She, however, has never been in a relationship before this but once. The guy ignored her then broke up with her because he didn't like her. I become filled with an unholy rage when I think of this. She is a being of pure light, of saccharine warmth, of delicate strength. At times, I cannot help but wonder if she resents me for being so experienced in life. The age difference isn't the only factor which has contributed to my being more experienced--she is, and has always been, extremely lonely and isolated. I am not a social butterfly by any means, but I have always had friends, I've gone to parties, I've gotten around. She's never.. done anything. She had never kissed anyone or held hands until she did these things with me. I feel almost dirty for being her first everything. Am I to corrupt her? No! This is not corruption. If it were not love, it would be corruption, but we have love!
She cried when we had sex. She looked up at me from beneath me and asked if I could hold her hand because she was hurting. Her eyes became glossy, her cheeks wet and red. She called me beautiful.
She is wonderful. The way she speaks of what she loves is so magnificent, my chest becomes filled with a warmth akin to sunshine flooding the living room of my childhood home on Sunday mornings.
It pains me deeply to know that she may never see herself in the way I see her. She hates her art, she hates the way she looks, she hates the way she communicates, she hates that she's so anxious. Dear god, is she anxious. She doesn't talk about how much she hates these aspects of herself. She even refuses to say "I hate myself," because she finds it to be 'melodramatic' and oddly narcissistic. But it's evident in the way her voice begins to crack when she's asked about her art and she says, "It's not art." It's evident in the way she twists and pulls at her bangs so she can have a reason to hide her face with her left hand. It's evident in the way she begins to re-do things until she begins to cry out of frustration. It's evident in the bottles of citalopram she vowed to never refill. It's evident in the way she apologizes for things that not only warrant no apologizing but things that every single other person I've ever known has done unapologetically. She refuses to vent because she fears being a burden. She's terrified of annoying me, of being a pest, of being seen as attention-seeking. She's the complete opposite of all of these things. I want nothing more than to hear every single thought she has. She has no idea. She fears everything. I hate it. I hate that she suffers.

A dark man took my rib while I was sleeping. I only saw him for a moment as I sat up, he fled back into the dark corner. With that rib he birthed a daemon which now lives with my very action. Last year the dark man only lifted my leg but now this.. this year I'm going to hell and bringing everyone with me.

>>9634057
that's very sad. i feel kind of sick. have you had any more sexual encounters, or even romantic? do you want real love? you perceive women in a very odd way that seems unhealthy.

Mind spawns into pasta

Come to think of it, I don't have anyone that qualifies as friend, only colleagues and known people.
Funny.

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I found my resolve mid fall and it was spent on the rocks.

How am I supposed to read when world is full of happenings and events that require a fuck ton of pre-reading to understad f.e. middle east politics like saudi-qatar relationships and shit

>>9630337
Just hit me up bb

>>9626829
Cyptocurrencies can be taxed far more easily than other currencies, since you can design them so that all transactions are always public. It is then completely impossible to have any money transaction that the government doesn't immediately know about. If you give your friend 10 bucks, the government knows and it might ask what for.

>>9639881
You don't need to know about either. It's completely worthless trivia that will never impact your life. Your priorities are stupid, fix that and you'll have tons of time.

>>9638605
Not that poster, but it's correct.

>>9630361
>Wes Anderson isn't talented

It's bait answering bait: baitception.

>>9626671
One's most hidden secret is their relationship to God.

>>9626758
Grow up and take care of your fucking mother you selfish whiny waste of flesh and bone. If you can't live for yourself, live for her. Else you don't really love anyone, and you're scared of living for you've internally equated living to death. Find a purpose. Life is literally nothing without a purpose and an idol.

>>9626786
So lost in an addiction it's what they believe they want more than anything. A fate worse than death in my eyes. Lurkers and posters here can take a lesson from them--your (You)'s your needles and their acceptance your high.

>>9626829
When's the last time you bought a soda? A pack of chips? A videogame? How about the last time you invested in stock? Volunteered at a local shelter? Invented something beneficial? You know nothing but your navel, Snow.

>>9627089
What are you gonna do besides go to school? Make it big on a one-in-a-million break? Why not try that while going to school and never waste another minute on social media until you've actually begun to succeed? Or is THAT too hard, just like school? Please.

>>9627292
Soon is literally never in your lifetime, it's always just outside of it. Stop living soon enough and worry about now. You know what things are now. Your life is now not soon. Get a grip on what you can and do something now.

>>9627301
Literally hire a whore and fuck her or stop masturbating.

>>9640216
This is such a cliche but holds so much truth and not in the YOLO way either.

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I am going to die having accompished none of my own life goals because im too cowardly to leave my profession as a lawfag.

>>9627303
It's because you stopped thinking about what you are doing now and starting thinking about what you should do. There then form a dissonance between the current and the future within which probability functions open to the chance of never collapsing because of disharmony between the current and your expectations. These probabilities wiggle around your head when you can't complete them until you can collapse all the probability within your mind by returning to pure present. Ambitions are a gamble. Keep them small and allow the small to compound rather than the large with greater opportunities of failure. Thinking ahead is like working out. Start small and get stronger first.

>>9627609
Read Steppenwolf.

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>>9640237
I literally dropped out of law school to move from my home country to a foreign country half way across the world and I have zero fucking regrets.

>>9640237
You should be making more than plenty of money to save a year or two and invest into your hobbies and life. Then drop out of law if you believe it's making you unhappy. It's not like your degree is going anywhere. You'll always be able to find work again if you leap and fall. No chance for any real regret here. Only disappointment, at the worst.

>>9640221
Hence why I iterated now with emphasis, and never once mentioned life as a singular expression. Life may not be a solitary experience as my Hindu brethren believe. But it is always only present. If anything, all religion preaches to be present. That only what you do now determines your future. Convert the hours of your life into something of value to society. Money works great, but achievement and innovation resounds.

>>9640294
What if I'm too low IQ to innovate, achieve something? I guess just breed white kids but then they will have low IQ too.

Should I kill myself?

>>9640301
What are you good at my brother? Do you know? It's okay if you don't know, a lot of people don't. But at least tell me what you believe you are best at now--what you do that is productive and absolves you from experiencing time; as well as something you'd say highly interests you, but you've never really tried doing or put much effort into?

>>9640335
I'm not really good at anything except making girls laugh.

>>9640391
Hmmm. Literally inspiration and innovation can be pulled from even the simplest of ideas. You've got to want to find it though.

Have you never been in a situation where you applied yourself and felt at ease in the motions? A particular study or craft learned in school perhaps? Or an instance where you had to devise some sort of idea, situation, or device to acquire what you desired? Literally anything here, you'd be surprised how much can come from little.

Do you have a girlfriend? Does, if lacking, the idea of having one bring you happiness? Even if knowing she'd push you to take care of yourself at times? What of children? Your opinion of raising a child in this world? Do you look to a partner more for existential fulfillment or mutual support?

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>>9638958

I can't use the phone to make calls

>>9642236
Is it the anxiety of talking to another person, or you physically don't know how a phone works?

>>9642240
a)

I want something lasting. I know it's cliche, but when the depression hit, my world view shattered, and I can no longer yield true importance to things I know are fleeting. It's upsetting when I look around and see how everyone is caught up in things that don't appear all that important.

Though at the same time, reading philosophy doesn't automatically ignite some dormant passion that brings me closer to the "truth". It's more like a semi-tedious activity that I push through because it's the last thing that appears important to me. At this point, it seems inconceivable that I live without exploring it more - that's how empty the rest of life looks. So I suppose I will keep doing it.

>>9643043
>>9640249

>>9643054
I'll start it tonight, thanks anon.

I desperately want to try psychedelics in order to "reset" my mind. Maybe I'll start feeling like a normal person again. Maybe I'll be able to cope with the fact that, up until now, I haven't been able to think of myself as smart or interesting even though everyone else tells me I'm both. Maybe then I'll be able to cope with the fact that no real university wanted or will ever want me. Or I'll just fry my brain. That would also be acceptable at this point.

>>9643068
If you don't smoke pot, start there. Once you feel comfortable with the effects of pot, be prepared for the jump to acid. Because you're going to want to try that once, maybe even twice, and it's a big difference from ~2 hours of euphoric, mildly hallucinatory effects to 14+ hours of steady hallucinating/dissociation from self. Then after try a recommended does of shrooms. An eighth or a little more, as the dissociation and hallucinatory effects are more acute, in that they'll override your common sense more easily, as well as also lasting 12+ hours.

Also, if you know a connect, try some adderall. A 5mg will last you about twelve hours if taken after a meal, and if you eat during, the effects will curb down some couple hours afterward. The high will feel like you had an espresso after a good nights rest--a very focused, confident energy. You won't be much hungry after taking it. If you're a caffeine addict, maybe try 10mg, but expect ~14 hours of energy with occasional spikes when you aren't keeping busy, especially if you've never taken it before. Always start between five and ten is my rec. Adderall is a wonderful drug that really helps those who are ambitious yet struggle 'getting there' with the day to day. Clears the mind and makes you want to do the things you're interested in, or even just the things you have to do. Never abuse, it is still meth. High tolerance spike when abused and addictive. Same for pot.

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>>9634873
I know that feeling. I feel it every day and it haunts me at night.

>>9634873
Heaven and hell are but limbo within the mind. Daily self confidence exercises are not 'crazy' or pointless. Accept what you believe and become your belief, but accept what you know and you will be what you know. Beliefs can influenced but knowledge is resolute.

What I'm saying is that's all you'll amount to be if you believe it. To quote a line from a great song '...the twentieth day of consistency that marked the point in time when my principles lifted me". Change your views, your thoughts, and your day-to-day, stick to your routine, and watch your life change as it becomes less work and more a state of mind--you'll be who you set out be. Just as the hell your (consciously) unintentionally putting yourself in now.

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>>9626980
stop watching porn if you want your writing to improve

>>9643113
Thanks a ton, I don't live in the US atm but I'll be moving to Austin in a couple of months. I know some people there that could help.

Forced to destroy a friendship and trust with one to save their friendship with another.

>>9625700
The tiddies of the girl to my right

>>9643414
On top of everything I said, if weed gives you a bad time, be hesitant to upgrade to acid. If you're prone to mental slumping, experiencing one of those slumps while high is in essence what is a bad trip. It's a little easier to have happen on pot as heightened paranoia is a legitimate effect of thc, but when you're on acid, you're tripping harder so in turn it's harder for you to regress during vivid hallucination. Still, be in a comfortable setting where nothing will put you in an uncomfortable situation. Have a babysitter who is okay with watching you while you trip. If you're both tripping, there will be nobody to pull you guys up from a slump if you get in one. Shared hallucinations are amazingly a very real thing, and not usually bad either. But your prone to 'vibes' is the best way to put it.

Best of luck brother. Hope it all helps. Don't become a burnout--experimentation is cool, dependency is giving up.

>>9640425
>>Have you never been in a situation where you applied yourself and felt at ease in the motions?
As I said, I have low IQ and barely felt at home in any activity or action. I do enjoy reading but even when I'm reading I feel retarded most of the time, for having to be spoon fed these ideas without coming to same conclusions on my own.

>Or an instance where you had to devise some sort of idea, situation, or device to acquire what you desired?
No, I do not have ideas.

No family, friends of any kind. I'm asocial I suppose. Not really introverted, I'm comfortable in a social setting but I prefer to be alone.

>>9640020
It's public but anonymous. There is no way of knowing who sent money to who. All you know is that this wallet sent money to that wallet.

>>9638906
you truly love her

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>>9638906
get help