>can i get you some fucking fruit juice >this is water >mfw

>can i get a cup of coffee with no sugar
>sorry sir we can only give you coffee with no cream
>mfw i still get capital W water

>working at college library
>one of my philosophy professor's approaches me
>humiliated because I have a late paper and am on my phone
>"hello anon"
>"hello Dr. Rawsthorne"'
>"writing a novel?'
>I am totally taken aback
>"what?"
>he smirks
>drop out

>>9614966
>At someone's house
>Get offered coffee
>It's in a fucking bowl
>It's filled with sugar and shitty Canadian milk
Quebec was a mistake

>walk up to library desk
>have hidden zizeklian books under my grandovercoat
>walk up with some plato, kant and daniele steele
>the librarian looks at me, then looks at the coat
>"doing some light reading, are we hmmm?"
>she sniffs
>make a run for it
>spill zizek out of my pocket

>>9614932
>Being Zizek
>Nothing Zizek
>Becoming Zizek
I am Zizek

>>9614966
lmao

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>>9614966
>capital W water

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>>9614966
>capital W water

>>9614932
>ah! the bill is here! neatly typed i shee like a shtalinist report only smaller
>*tugs sleeve* yes yes but the point ish you see how modern liberal society foregoes any sort of grand gesture and sherves you wit theze minuscule contracts that you are expected to abide with, no stamp or at least a blood smear anything to give it a human note *ruffles hair* therefore making our interaction impersonal
>okay calmer - calmer voice pleashe - now if i took the coins that i presumably have in my purse i would gladly exchange them for the favor of koffee beans being minced and boiled, the whole chain of worker's effort but who would i be paying is it the capitalist that owns the shop or the underpaid waiter that is - you see how ish he getting impatient and sweating profusely under workload for minimum pay - okay okay and if i took these coins oh you have a credit card francois well then, by all meansh you can take the bill and so on...

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>be Montenegrin
>be lazy as fuck
>dig a hole in the middle of nowhere
>put my dick in it
>mfw there's an earthquake

>>9616480
What powerful phallic sybolism!

>>9614932
Why do so many ''intellectual'' chicks like this guy so much?!
I don't get it.

>>9616491
Zizek's chest hair secretes long-range pheromones.