Da Jesus Book

My good friends, no go afta da odda guy fo pay um back wen he hurt you. Mo betta you wait, an let God take care him, cuz God no take wat dat kine peopo do. Da Boss wen say dis befo time inside da Bible:“I da One dat goin make bad to peopo, if dey do bad kine stuff, I da One goin pay um back.”

Dass wat da Boss say

>>9588709
The old Ebonics Translator does a better job.

Yo James 2, 14:28 Ya' dig?

Yo But someone will say, “You gots faif an' ah gots werkz.” Show me yo' faif apart from yo' werkz, an' ah by muh motha fuckin werkz will show you muh motha fuckin faif. You believe dat God iz one; you do well. Even da demons believe, an' shudder. Do you wants ta be shown, you senseless nigga, dat faif apart from werkz iz barren? wuz not our ancestor Abraham justified by werkz when he offered his son Isaac on da altar? You see dat faif wuz active along wif his werkz, an' faif wuz brought ta completion by da werkz. Thus da scripture wuz fulfilled dat says, “Abraham believed God, an' it wuz reckoned ta him as righteousness,” an' he wuz called da nigga o' God. You see dat uh nigga iz justified by werkz an' not by faif alone. Likewise, wuz not Rahab da prostitute also justified by werkz when she welcomed da messengers an' sent dem out by another road? fo' just as da body without da spirit iz dead, so faif without werkz iz also dead don't make me shank ya!

>>9588774
Trus God, an Do Wat He Say
14 Eh, my bruddas an sistas! So, wat? If one guy ony say he trus God, but he no do wat God say, you tink dass nuff fo da guy get outa da bad kine stuff he awready stay in? No way! He ony trussing God wit his mout! 15 If get one brudda o sista dat no mo clotheses an no mo food fo eat every day, 16 an den you go tell um, “Aloha! Come, get warm, an eat up.” But you no go give um notting. Latas wit dat! You guys know dey need all dat kine stuff fo dea body. Wass up wit dat? 17 Same ting, if somebody ony say he trus God, but same time, he no do notting, da bugga no trus God fo real kine, he ony mout.
18 But somebody goin say: “You trus God, but I do plenny good tings.”
I goin tell dat guy: “Eh! How come you tink lidat? You no can make proof dat you trus God, if you ony talk, but you no stay do good tings. Ony get one way you goin know dat I stay trus God -- wen I stay do good tings! Den you goin know fo shua dat I trus God. 19 I know you believe get ony one God. Good den! But da bad kine spirits believe dat too. Az why dey stay scared an shaking all ova! 20 Wot! You not tinking! If you trus God, but den, you no do good tings, az wase time. I gotta show you, o wat?
21 “Abraham, da ancesta guy dat all us Jewish guys come from, he wen do wat God wen tell him, wen he wen put his boy Isaac on top da altar fo make sacrifice to God. Az why God wen say, ‘Dis guy, he get um right wit me.’ 22 You no can see? Abraham wen trus God, an he wen do someting too -- he wen put Isaac on top da altar. An da tings he wen do wen help him fo trus God all da way. 23 So dis wen happen jalike da Bible say: ‘Abraham wen trus God, so God wen make Abraham get um right wit him.’ An God wen tell, ‘Abraham, he my friend.’ 24 Az right, yeah? Now you can see dat not nuff fo ony trus God an no do notting. You gotta go do someting too, if you like God fo say dat you get um right wit him.”
25 Same ting wit Rahab, da kine wahine from befo time dat take money wen she fool aroun. Wen she wen let da Israel army guys hide her house, she wen tell dem fo go back one diffren way so dey no get kill. She wen do someting right. Az why God wen say she get um right wit him.

compare

>2017
>not reading The Street Bible

First off, nothing. No light, no time, no substance, no matter. Second off, God starts it all up and WHAP! Stuff everywhere! The cosmos in chaos: no shape, no form, no function– just darkness ... total. And floating above it all, God’s Holy Spirit, ready to play. Day one: Then God’s voice booms out, ‘Lights!’ and, from nowhere, light floods the skies and ‘night’ is swept off the scene.

>>9588709
More intelligible than Douay–Rheims desu

>>>/x/

>>9588709
>inb4 real patricians read The Message
The message is for lower-middle pseuds!
http://www.biblestudytools.com/msg/genesis/1.html

>>9588774
The pidgin is much easier to read

>>9588774
http://vocaroo.com/i/s0DfxhjuD05e