How did you do in high school? Where did you end up? What are

I did ok. Fucked off for most of the time, got straight As last two years.

I.....became a chronic alcoholic, write some books that are unpublished, though got some short stories I'm starting to get published.

Wish I basically would have fucked all the chicks I wanted to fuck.....especially now that I know they wanted to fuck too.

I learned how funny being a complete loser is. All my characters are complete losers, even if they're successful in some ways.

>>9579446
>what did you learn the most about writing

That D'Annunzio was a shit writer.

Thought I was hot rub. Chemistry woke me up, though, and my teacher gave me a c. Cried when I got home because it made me feel stupid but looking back on it I'm glad it happened.

Pretty sure that and two other B's was my downfall for higher education.

Now my first year of state school in Delaware and would like to go into academia but I probably won't be abe to compete with those applicants coming from Harvard, Yale, etc.

Only hope is grad school. If grad isn't good I'll probably quit writing and all and either kill myself or join a band until I starve

Regret was not taking that publishing deal.

>>9579446
Well.. 1.9 GPA in highschool... But it was tough. My mother died during my freshman year and for the rest of my highschool experience I was chock full of depression, anxiety, and by the end of my senior year I felt pretty damn near empty.

After all of this, I decided to go into the arts, particularly film. I focused in cinematography at first, but eventually I realized what a hopeless career choice it was. At this point I was pretty depressed and too scared to change my focus. I started dabbling with psychedelics, particularly lsd. I did lots of it and changed just about everything. Now I do post production and things are actually looking quite good. Post production isn't a very lucrative field, but hey, imagine all of the media outlets that produce videos that need to be cut these days. It's a way better field than cinematography or directing it seems.

Right now I'm okay. I regret not reaching out for help when I needed it. I was too young then to really get my shit together on my own. I also regret doing so much lsd.

>>9579446
>How did you do in high school?
I did okay I guess. I never did great but for the most part I wasn't horrible either, in my classes I was either passable or decent.
>Where did you end up?
I've been out of school formally for a year now and I've done nothing really. I worked in a call centre for a bit and now I'm repeating some exams that I failed.
>What are your regrets?
In my last year I became super-alcoholic because my dad died, my friends stopped hanging out with me because of the alcoholism and eventually I just stopped going in altogether. Then I failed all but one of the exams at the end of the year. I'd rather if that didn't happen.

I also had a fling with a girl who had a boyfriend, I wish I met her like a month earlier so at that point she didn't have a boyfriend.

>And in all of this, what did you learn the most about writing?
I don't know. I must have learned something because I'm better at writing now than when I started highschool but I'm not sure what. Maybe the fact I can't identify it or articulate it means I didn't learn very much at all.

I graduated 3rd in a class of six hundred.
I went to fancy universities, and now have a PhD and a boring job.
I wish I weren't such a worthless piece of shit.

Just drifting looking to be accepted. Average grades nothing to put on the fridge. Two friends who stuck by and I cared about. Teachers showed no interest would just let inmates run the asylum. Former friends ghosted me. I wasn't loud very quiet. Didn't raise a hand even if i know the answer. Didn't want to be typecast but ended up being labeled like the rest. No relationships with girl. They were very open about there body count. Accpect some who were just your average tumblr browsing teen. There was one who seemed very intellect. She was in all ap classes. Never talked much just listened like i did. I asked her out in middle school she said no. I had major depression throughout high school. Nothing special just a nothing experience that taught me nothing but to value a piece of paper.

I was homeschooled. I wouldn't recommend it to anybody and I regret all of it. Didn't have any friends, parents taught me jack shit, etc. At least they were just hippies and not lunatic christfags. From about 16-20 waiting for new anime or science fiction books to release was the only thing that kept me from killing myself.

Reading and writing were mostly self taught via getting a lot of stuff from the library and talking shit on the internet. I've never had any professional instruction on writing.

Right now I'm studying for a AA in mechanical engineering and I'm planning to transfer and get a BA. Started in welding but when I had to take some mandatory math classes it turns out I've actually got a good head for numbers, but they never taught me anything more complex than basic arithmetic so who knew.

>>9579553
>I was homeschooled

FUCKING LOL!!!!

Hey everybody!!! Get a load of this Homo!!

I despised the valedictorian.

She was the one to get all A's but only becase she didn't do anything but study for her classes. No true interests in the subjects, no true talents, just the habit of sucking every teacher off for an A.

I hate public schools. Worst system ever

>>9579446
Anxiety kept me from experiencing the stereotypical adolescence (drugs, sex, parties, etc.) that so many people around me got to enjoy. Rural life, so other people who enjoyed reading learning new things were very, very rare. Overall a shitty experience. Fucked around and only got a 3.7 GPA, and am attending a shitty state school first year.

I will be trying to transfer to a better Univeristy second year (about 3 in my state can actually compete nationwide in terms of academic rigor and reputation, and I can get into at least one). I have hope, but I regret not having more temerity in high school and not applying myself.

>>9579572
Yeah....it's bullshit, completely devote yourself to studying, doing nothing else whatsoever, and you finish first through complete merit.

Total bullshit system.

>>9579572
Don't hate the player, hate the game.

>>9579586
>and you finish first through complete merit.
That's not entirely true. You finish first through the "merit" as defined by the system itself but that's not necessarily the most valuable merit. Yeah rote memorization and knowing how to milk essay markers is a kind of merit, but is it really important to understanding that topic?

>>9579586
Are you kidding?

Any bum could get all A's. It's the fact that she didn't have any true talents or interests but was still titled some prestigious person. Just because little Jimbo gets all A's on his report card doesn't mean he's intelligent.

She went to a state school anyway and I made her cry. I'd probably do it again

>>9579594
>Any bum could get all A's

Then why didn't you?

>>9579553
I was homeschooled too. Or rather my parents said they homeschooled me, when they really just let me drop out of 6th grade and stay home and become completely insane for ten years.

Eerily similar lives. Around 17 I just decided, fuck this, I'm either getting a PhD or joining the military, and started studying every hour I wasn't working. Then got GED, then community college, transferred to state, now doing PhD at a top 3 or something.

You seem to be a bit younger than I am so keep it up. If there's any advice I can give you, which you may be the only person I've given it to who actually understands it: The people who had the traditional treadmill through life, with parents and society giving them all the cues and hints along the way, have "do the bare minimum" burned into their brains so deeply they can never get it out. Even when they excel, it's excelling at doing the bare minimum. Since you did what you did on your own initiative, and you have actual goals, you have the rare benefit in this society of actually knowing what it feels like to take yourself seriously. Don't ever give that up or let yourself dissolve into the normie mass of mediocrity. They literally don't know what ambition means, so don't trust them to tell YOU what it means.

tldr: Sky's the limit. Normies learn math by going "I need to take the Math 101, then Math 202, then Math 303," etc., and they assume shit like "I can only take 3 classes a year, so '3' is the magic number of Maths A Human Can Learn Per Year." No, you can pretty much just do whatever the fuck you want and treat the system as a weird daycare centre for bare minimum guys that you're forced to wade though.

>>9579602
I did

Coasted through HS. I did alright in university, but I never put in too much effort. I would usually read for leisure over something for my courses.

I'm working at a call center, which sucks - at least I have no debt. I'm considering going to community college for programming or something.

>>9579594
You're basically calling your valedictorian a "try-hard".

Very pathetic.

>>9579611
>defending some heartless, plastic shithead for lying and crying her way to the top

sorry. She was a shit person. She didn't earn it.

I did well, with minimal effort
Nowhere
Everything

That it's not my passion, no matter how often I claimed it was. I did it sporadically and often badly. It's not all that important either way

>>9579615
What was actually so bad about her? Like what did she do that's so terrible?

>>9579446
Terrible. I hate homework and refused to do it so I got by in Cs. I regret almost everything. Wish I paid attention in humanities classes. Wish I hadn't listened to my guidance counselor about anything. Wish I did more research about different colleges instead of picking a local school. Wish I hadn't broken up with the Nigerian girl I dated on and off and subsequently wish I hadn't dated the black girl who would go on to spend the next few years ruining my life, slowly. To this day I feel that that Nigerian girl was the only one who genuinely loved and cared about my well being and also had the drive to further and better herself. All other girls only had one if the two or neither. If I could go back in time to the first day of freshman year with what I know now I would in an instant.

4.0 GPA in high school
Now I'm working a shit job as a cook for Olive Garden, cooking up trash.
I regret actually putting any effort into the education system, because it didn't help. I should have put effort into something outside of school.
I am not allowed to get any student loans, financial aid, or scholarships, so school just isn't for me.
>what did you learn the most about writing
I learned a lot of people suck at writing.

Coasted, though I was in the same circle of friends as all the highest GPA people.

>>9579620
There were many events. I remember them because we had a closely knit group of "friends" (which was really a euphanism for comeptitive team) and we talked about homework or whatever else.

>9th grade
literally cried to guidance for AP English and whined about how she won't look good enough for her Ivy Leagues. They said no because it wouldn't be fair but she threatens to report them for mistreating her. They ended up just giving it to her.

Literally took notes on every teacher she had (not class notes, personal notes like favorite foods, music, etc.) so she could appeal to them

>10th
More whining. Cried everyday because she received a B on some obscure class assignment. Teacher noticed she was hollow on the inside and forced her to do more than just turn in assingemnt, which she repsonded to by reporting him to the office.

Joined literally around 15 clubs, none of which she cared about (her words)

>11th grade
crying
>12th
stopped talking to her

>>9579503
Noticing any long term effects from the lsd?

>>9579640
So what's all the hate about?

At worst it sounds like she warrants contempt or at best pity. Why are you so mad?

>>9579648
She didn't use the system to learn, she used the system for A's and sparkles on her app.

>>9579594
>It's the fact that she didn't have any true talents or interests but was still titled some prestigious person.


So....? She didn't need any of that. She studied more than you. She devoted more of her time to it, and oddly enough she won. That's usually how shit works. Talent is nice but pure effort and dedication works pretty damn well too.

>Just because little Jimbo gets all A's on his report card doesn't mean he's intelligent.

Yeah, tell that to college admissions and such. They'd love to hear it.

>>9579653
Well that's the point.

You don't need to learn, you need to get an A. If the system was designed for learning the incentive wouldn't be getting to the next level by any means necessary.

>>9579653

How do you know this? You're inside her head somehow?

I tend to think what you're saying is the fiction you choose to believe in, to make you feel better that a perceived lesser person did way better than you.

>>9579663
that's why I said I hate the system.

The title just wasn't for her, why are you defending her so much?
>>9579670
She told us it all. She was in our little group

>>9579582
Oh yeah, writing.

I learned that I may be able to do something with it. I had a teacher who thought I was a good writer and that was very encouraging.

I also learned that I should edit everything I write, and that reading is the most auspicious activity to improving your writing.

>>9579657
There's plenty of overconfident talented people (probably like the faggot you're replying too) who get their ass handed to them because an untalented person is way more hungry and dedicated and works twice as hard as them.

>>9579446
>How did you do in high school?
okay
>Where did you end up?
average university
What are your regrets?
STD

>>9579446
Only regret is being a manlet.

>>9579680
>She told us it all. She was in our little group

No she didn't.

Even if it's so, then why do you care? It obviously didn't mean anything to her that she came in first, so why's it mean anything to you?

Get your bullshit straight.

>>9579680
> why are you defending her so much?
Well because I'm starting from the premise that I don't understand why you're mad so logically having a less negative view of what you've just told me than you do would be implicit to that.

>>9579687
Do roids and hang off the side of mountains. I grew 8 inches and gained 120 pounds of muscle.

>>9579694
Sensing some cognitive dissonance here...

She did. And I care because it's a flawed system. She clearly did care, anon. Did you not read a thing?

>>9579701
I would rather not fall and die.

>>9579705
Yeah, i totally get it. She worked really hard, but didn't work at all and didn't deserve it because she didn't learn even though she did learn but not learn learn. Then she didn't even care about it, but she did and told everyone to brag about it.

But then she went to a shitty state school, and you made her cry so you're way better than her anyway, and she ended up a total loser anyhow so you're not worried about it at all, except it still really bothers you.

Makes real goddamn sense.

>>9579640
>Teacher noticed she was hollow on the inside and forced her to do more than just turn in assingemnt, which she repsonded to by reporting him to the office.
Wait, wait. Hold the phone.

What do you mean "more than just turn in assingemnt"? Because that sounds like some pedo shit.

>>9579643
Well. It kind of goes away a bit by the year, but after doing a lot of it I saw patterns occasionally along with distortions in my vision. I still have the distortions somewhat, but all of the really trippy shit has gone away. However if I smoke a lot of weed I'll see similar effects. It was pretty terrifying for a while. I had no idea what to do about it. Also my memory has gone to shit.

>>9579735
As in "we need to read chapters whatever and you need to explain why this is blah blah"
Rather than "here's a math problem, solve it"

This thread is pretty depressing. Public school is soulcrushing.

File: 1493694424911.jpg (38KB, 480x395px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 480x395px

I went to a computer nerd magnet school, so we just irl shitposted at each other and played on the computer. Just a bunch of slackers. I picked up video games full time while completely dropping reading as a hobby. This was a bad idea but it was the only way to be in with the antisocialites. Everyone outside of the program was a jerk to me.


I grew a foot, cut off my hair, and learned to dress. I went to undergrad, finished by 21, worked a few different jobs, and now I'm in law school.


I regret not reading as much. Even my video game time was spent on multiplayer games with friends, I didn't even play all the classics that have real value. I regret not playing guitar or piano as much, I can barely get through a song. I regret not learning to lift in college. I regret making friends with so many people that a small handful always seem to stab me in the back. I regret not putting my full effort into school before Law School. I regret not using my health insurance when I had it at my old job.
I learned that writing is hard.
I learned legal writing is simpler than APA, but much more meticulous and time consuming.
I learned that visual rhetoric is just as important as the content of the message.
I learned that its much easier to edit other peoples work than your own.
I learned printing out what you want to edit and using a red pen is WAY easier than staring at a screen.

>>9579629
What did you expect, that 16 year old you would have a CEO position from graduating kiddy academy?

No mention of any other learned skills, so Olive Garden seems to fit your educational level.

>>9579446

High School was Hades. Bullied all the time, raging hormones with no attention from girls, put in special education, on medication for ADHD, Depression, &c... It sticks in my memory like a 4-year long nightmare.

I was in the bottom 10% of my high school class. I think I had something like a 1.7 (D) GPA when I applied to college. Thankfully, I got a decent score on my college exams and got into a rural state school.

College was fun. Cultivated my own interests and met some really nice people. Finally found a girlfriend I really liked (who dumped me around graduation). Then I worked for two years, eventually going to grad school for Philosophy. Just finished my grad program and now I'm trying to get my old job back. Goal is to live a meaningful life with a minimum of vanity.

I learned through all of this that good editing is more important than good writing. Predictably enough, this is metaphorically true about life in general.

>How'd you do in high school
I got a 3.4 GPA because I didn't with that hard and my parents basically told me B's were okay (I don't mean until I was a senior that they weren't).
>Where did you end up
A shitty state college with no prospects. I could go to graduate school but my current GPA is probably too low.
>Biggest regrets
My biggest regrets would have to be getting involved with drugs and immediately rushing off to college after high School. I live in Florida so if you go over 120 credit hours your tuition is doubled. I ended up switching to political science and have 3.5 Major GPA ( overall GPA 3.3) and I realize that I'm probably not competitive enough to get into grad school. I guess I'll join the military.

>>9579446
I was a white guy in a school of primarily beaners, teachers and students. Broken home, no dad. Brother with anger issues. Mom fed me, but that's all - dealing with her crazy mood swings and psycho woman problems after her divorce had me walking on eggshells throughout childhood and created my avoidant personality. It didn't help that I look exactly like my dad. I didn't do drugs or get involved with girls partly to be the "good son" and partly because I despised the beaner normies. I cracked and dropped out of high school senior year and didn't get a GED until a couple years later. This was all at the end of the 90s. Now I'm a middle aged woman hater. At least I'm not fucking married with children.

I'm a pretty bright guy, but boy did I get fucked emotionally. I'd like to write a book but no one would read it. Also, try growing up as the white outcast then arriving into adulthood with people saying white males are responsible for everything wrong in the world. W E W.

>>9579470
Do you have links to your books so I can read them

File: image.jpg (52KB, 582x436px) Image search: [Google]

52KB, 582x436px

I was suspended 19 times in HS and got detention 13 times but I was never expelled because that would mean losing money.

>>9579446
I did super well I guess. I maintained all A's and B's even in the IB program. ACT score in the high 90's percentile. Made great vidya friends. Not much luck, or effort really, in women though. I didn't care till senior year, when I got with this perfect Italian girl. Overall it was a nice time. Got into a fairly selective, esteemed Lib Arts college. No regrets. I didn't smoke, drink, party, anything. I remained authentic.

>>9579553
>I was homeschooled. I wouldn't recommend it to anybody and I regret all of it

Problem is most kids that are homeschooled aren't doing it by choice but have insane religious parents that are scared their kids will hear about global warming and evolution from someone that isn't their designated political party or pastor.
Unfortunately people typically only hear about the success stories about kids that were free to pursue what they wanted and turned out fine instead of killing themselves or being kinda fucked up.

>>9580155
You can be a more depressing John Franzen

>>9579537
those first 2 things don't add up to that third thing. you sound like you have the basis to build a pretty neat life.

>>9579604
this is so true it hurts me, as a normie. how do i break out of this and take ownership of myself, senpai?

>>9579594
succeeding in life is the intelligent thing to do. And that's what she is doing better than you.

>>9579959
You seem like you got your head on straight, anon. Respect

>>9579604
>I was homeschooled too. Or rather my parents said they homeschooled me, when they really just let me drop out of 6th grade and stay home and become completely insane for ten years.

bro! same mostly, i stopped going to school in 9th grade, so my mom who had a master's did the paperwork to homeschool me, she made me read the aeneid and do some quadratic equations, then i for the next 5 years i skateboarded and did tons of drugs.

it was the 90s, bill clinton just signed nafta and it hadn't really done any damage yet, i didn't know if you don't do a phd at stanford that you will be forced to live the rest of your life in crushing poverty, fuckers changed the social contract right after i committed to a bohemian deadbeat lifestyle, fucking rip off

>>9580155
>Also, try growing up as the white outcast then arriving into adulthood with people saying white males are responsible for everything wrong in the world.

Yeah I do not envy that. At least us early twenties white guys have the guilt baked right in

>>9580428
Mid-twenties white male here. Also not "privileged".

Have you ever considered ignoring/disregarding the "evil white males" meme? It seems to be mostly perpetuated by people who are struggling with their own mental health issues anyway. Giving them attention is giving them what they want.

Just live your life, find people (and women) who appreciate you for who you are, and disregard hysterics and haters.

>>9579446
Did above average in school because I was smart and turned in assignments. The only classes I had interests in were English, Biology, and Environmental Science. My Senior English class was a joke.

A good school for Life Sciences in Texas.

I tried to hard to get everyone to like me. Actually started sleeping normal hours senior year and that led to me getting a gf and realizing all my friends were tools who only wanted to get high. Almost became a pothead but got a job in food service where everyone who wasn't in high school either smoked everyday or had kids.
Also wish I wasn't such an asshole to my Junior English teacher, I'm probably going to become him.

Oh yeah the thing I learned about writing was avoid 'writing' and just put your thoughts on the paper.

>>9580484
this tbqh, don't let someone who hates themselves tell you how to live.

>>9580507
normie story, bro

File: jack.png (64KB, 148x207px) Image search: [Google]

64KB, 148x207px

Came fifth in my class--second if you value GPA over numerical average--because my school didn't like running the math on Honors or AP courses and instead just took all the grades and divided them by some number. I went to the Northeast for schooling and met the most boring, preppy, cookie-cutter characters that lead me to a deep depression. Maybe I regret not hanging out with them, but I don't really think they did anything interesting other than drink and fuck. Before leaving for school, I made a New Year's Resolution to start writing poetry, so I occupied myself with writing for a majority of the time (when I wasn't buzzing around with my small friendgroup).
I ultimately learned that writing must come from emotion that can't necessarily be forced. Sure, works can be rooted in previous events or whatever, but you need to have a sort of feeling, for lack of better word. And if you have that feeling, you write; otherwise, you forget what you wanted to write and get sad in the shower.

>>9579503
>I also regret doing so much lsd.
But why? The way you put it, it made it looked like it helped you turn things around for the better

>>9579446

I went to class I guess. I wanted to try out for different things but I always seemed to just barely miss the cut off before the roster was filled. The teacher would say "why does everyone else know about this but not you?" Of course I wasn't considered a person worth telling. I was hardly considered a person at all. On my yearbook people wrote "wierdest kid I know." My mother is an immigrant and my father is autistic, so the most my family could teach me was how to subsist at the lowest rung of society.

I went to college, spent most of undergrad forcing myself into unfamiliar social situations as part of my plan to socially condition myself. It ended with my inability to say no to drugs, and zelig like passive acceptance of whatever advice people would give me, no matter how bad, simply because my social experience was so minimal I had literally no better ideas.

After graduation I went into depression, then sales, then depression, and now work at starbucks.

I'm not exactly sure what I can regret. There wasn't much I could do without the social conditioning people seem to take for granted. Sales was perhaps the worst job I ever had, but the daily training which involved being in a room and talking to them to practice conversations and obtain actually useful advice on eye contact and greetings and responses, really improved me. If people said something to me I used to freeze up like the Rain Man, now I have canned responses for most normal greetings, and I'm sharp with the comeback. So as for regrets? None. How the fuck would I as a child know the exact method to rectifying my situation when the adults in my life were too idiotic to figure it out either? Sure my life is basically ruined since I missed the easiest chances to network and obtain self esteem, but I can't hardly blame myself for that.

>How well did you do in high school?
Pretty average, A-B student through the first three years. By the end of senior year I got lazy and let my grades drop to Cs mostly. I was taking AP classes at that point but just had no real will to finish. I did well enough on most of the AP exams. Except for european history: I ended up getting a 1 on that. My teacher had to teach a remedial english class in the same timeblock as he was supposed to be teaching me, so I ended up getting packets and reading assignments handed to me while he'd be teaching them about how to make a compound sentence. I, being the shitstain teenager I was, would throw that stuff away immediately and get into SICK bantz with the dummies in the class. One of them was a big fat redneck who everyone insisted on calling
'Sweet' Lou: he was by far my favorite. I remember one time this really fine chick came in (though she was also dumb as rocks), and Louie just started rubbing on his face really vigorously as she came by. She asked him what the "fuck" he was doing and he said: "just wiping off a place for you to sit ma'am" and I laughed for like 30 minutes straight. Like, even my teacher looked up at that and just had this expression of utter, sheer disbelief. I still chuckle to myself like an autist whenever I think about it.

>Where did you end up?
As of now I'm in a shitty state school studying English and TeFL. I'm doing better grade-wise but I'm still pretty lazy and I can't seem to stop smoking pot. My hope is to teach abroad, most likely in the Middle East where it pays the most.

>what are your regrets
Not having the courage to tell this girl I was obsessed with how I really felt before she got swept up by some carpenter dude. They're probably getting married now.

>And in all of this, what did you learn the most about writing?
I think writing is half experience half habitation. Like, we're inevitably writing about what we feel and see, in some protracted sense, and we only write as much, and as well, as we're willing to put it into habit. I'm still working on that now.

>>9580619
>habitation
I meant hibituation, fucking phone

>>9579503
Why did you find cinematography to be a dead end?

Wondering since im thinking of trying to go flly into it.

>>9580397
What do you mean by "succeeding?"

>>9579446
>42 of 45 in IB
0% effort, but also sperglord and smelled weird (can't digest any protein properly) so everyone I thought were friends turned out to be making fun of me and only hung out with me because I paid for shit with a crappy part-time job and selling drugs.

>a bunch of dead end, entry level jobs
Grew up poor as fuck, getting kicked out of the house for reading, looking my guardians in the eye, and trying to call child services when they locked me out in my underwear mid-winter and wouldn't let me in until I tossed several hundred pieces of wood into the basement. I fucking hate myself and basically everything in my life, but I don't an hero because I like reading.

>I didn't stand up for myself ever
The only two girls I attempted dating cheated on me with hipster trash and backwater hicks. Got jumped at least once every semester by a different group. Couldn't convince the police my guardians literally fed me dog food and beat the shit out of me when they found me eating chicken wing scraps from the garbage can. And I'm a fucking pansy who "had potential" but got fucked over when trying to make friends in college (too naive).

>Writing is less painful than dealing with all the other shit in life
The only thing I like better than writing is reading, and if books didn't exist I'd probably be too listless to bother with suicide and just eke out a melancholy existence slowly dying.

>>9580792
>TL;DR kids, work hard for the shit you care about while you don't have to pay for your existence

>>9579694
holy shit

anon

take it easy

with the

reddit spacing

>How did you do in high school?
I did poorly to say the least. Never did many assignments. Was depressed for most of it. My friends were all very successful and went to elite schools. I'm still bitter about it.
>Where did you end up?
A shitty state school to study engineering. I couldn't hack it and had to switch to business. I got stuck there longer than I should have and am in a large amount of debt. The friends I made at that hellhole also managed to be very successful, and I'm bitter about that too.
>What are your regrets?
I just wish I did better. I've developed an obsession with attending an elite school no matter how much time and money it takes to get to one. It's reached the point where I view these places in the same way that Muslims do their holy cities. It's unhealthy, but it's not something I'm willing to let go no matter what I have to sacrifice.
> And in all of this, what did you learn the most about writing?
I don't think I've learned anything. In high school, the teachers were never consistent enough for me to develop from their criticism. In college, everyone around me was such a poor writer that I never had to try. It's really stunted my growth.

File: 1491977779156.png (201KB, 1180x1204px) Image search: [Google]

201KB, 1180x1204px

>>9579446
I did pretty well in high school. Took plenty of honors and AP classes and got out with a decent GPA and a good scholarship to a nearby college. Let me change my majors a year in and not have to pay basically anything

I ended up doing art first but switched to Web Dev. I regret not taking more programming in high school, because I could have found my interest in it sooner and taken CS instead of CIT/webdev. I'm also double-majoring in philosophy which has been a real joy.

I learned quite a bit about writing from my junior year AP comp class. The teacher was great, really rigorous with writing, and encouraged my already decent writings to be something I was pretty proud of. I've never had a problem writing thought. Never been interested in writing fiction myself either.

>>9579473

Then you learn wrong, pleb.

>>9580583
I feel like if I had simply done it once or twice I could have had similar results without all of the visual distortions and existential nightmares.

C student > Grade 12 dropout > Neet > Diploma, C student again > Neet

>And in all of this, what did you learn the most about writing?

I didn't learn shit and when I went to college I never at any point in time took grades seriously because I felt overconfident in my intellectual abilities and underconfident in my social abilities and tried to slide by.

I had excuses for not doing so well, but at the same time it would be a lie to say I did as well as I could have, not only did I fail to live to my full potential, I failed to live to my middling potential and continue to do just that.

The only subject I've consistently performed at or near my potential, despite being stereotyped as a math whiz, was in the Humanities. Only subject I never had to force myself to like.

>>9579446
Didn't do anything, got above average grades.

>>9581407
I never, at any point, doubted my own intelligence. I doubt my intelligence to the point I think I could be truly good at something like math, physics, and philosophy, but not to the extent I don't think I could do something a little more pleb. I doubt my work ethic and ultimately, the older you get, the less the whole "Well I'm smart but lazy" sounds overly optimistic, and the more it just sounds depressingly pathetic. It's basically saying you could have an easy life, but you lack the moral character to work as hard as the average person does, to the extent you have ended up ruining your own life while disappointing others.

File: IMG_2013.jpg (3MB, 4032x3024px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 4032x3024px

shot heroin in my penis before senior year was up-- managed to graduate only because my mom was insanely accomodating and did all my work for me, even two online classes to catch up some credits.

went to rehab several times, transitional housing, etc. sober now two years and in shitcollege at Wayne State Uni.

I regret staying in committed relationships long past their expiration.

through all this time i never stopped reading though. and I learned that the greatest writers were very often just fucking around.

File: sWzNUBq6jzgL-F0K6rB6oeX1YAGP_in44K2_EvXielY.jpg (20KB, 405x371px) Image search: [Google]

20KB, 405x371px

>9th grade,
>knew only two kids from primary school.
>Tried to make friends and failed.
>Started to be old enough to be depressed because of a shitty home life and getting rejected by girls

>10th grade
>2 friends either move schools/drift into other groups
>depression intensifies
>start skipping class
>join football team because of the popularity meme
>become a key player, still cant make friends though
>get mildly sick and miss two weeks of class in a row
>kids start wondering what happened, i always just tell them that "i was sick" and nothing else
>they would keep asking and sometimes I wouldn't respond at all
>bullying intensifiea
>anxiety intensifies
>depression intensifies
> my reputation as that weird/quiet kid amplifies
> eventually stop being able to leave the house
>drop out of school


Epilogue
>spend several years trying to fix what was wrong with me
>think my levels of anxiety and depression have "normalized "
>Enter University through a bridging program for dropouts
>i scrape through on the literal margin, forced to study part time
>too scared to attend lectures
>can't finish papers
>get suspended for a whole year
>coming back this fall to try again.

It's been 7 years since high school and I'm still feeling its effects.

>>9581449
What are the greatest writers for you?

>>9579845
>Also my memory has gone to shit.

That part isn't the lsd

>>9580484
>Giving them attention is giving them what they want.

It doesn't matter if you so much do, it is already happening on increasingly larger scales. Just look at what is going on at Evergreen.

Mediocre
Didn't study for anything, I used to be a little above average high school, but I got depressed and nihilistic because girls didn't like me and I was only interested in music and weed
Always did good in english, history, philosophy, and was able to save biology and physics most of the time, specially biology, fucking easiest thing ever
I didn't do any math and always got the lowest mark possible
Also did lots of drugs, mostly weed and acid
Now I'm learning HS level math from the basics and taking anti-depressants, mood stabilizers and adhd pills from time to time because they trigger mania
I could be doing worse I guess

>>9581918
Above average before HS*
Ftfm

>>9579446

>thinly veiled datamine thread with a clause about literature thrown in for validation on /lit/

1/10 made me reply

>>9581550
see a psychiatrist, friend

It wasn't too bad. I had the unique experience of knowing what it's like to have friends and go to parties and also be a total loner who couldn't name 5 people in his graduating class.

I had to move to a new city after grade 10. Prior to that I had a solid friend group, which I kept visiting and having fun with for the next two years whenever I could. Meanwhile I was a miserable lonely fuck at my new high school. Not that there was anything blatantly wrong with it, it was actually a pretty nice school, I just had absolutely no motivation to put in the effort to start over again. I just kept my head down and tried to keep my grades at an appropriate level, which I did for the most part.

The fact that I still nonetheless had friends in the other city was great of course. My best memories with them primarily took place in the last two years rather than the first, but the distance always bothered me. I saw the things they were doing, the girls they were hooking up with (most of which I had known personally), the school related grad events they were having fun with, and I always felt I was severely missing out.

I'm not bitter about it. High school is only good in the sense that it contains formative experiences. University is a lot more fun anyway.

>>9581550
Brother.

That is basically my life, except I couldn't get the energy to do any extracurriculars. Where you're at now, I enlisted. This got me out of my shell, mostly. Now I'm almost 40 and just starting college. Good news is I don't give a fuuuuuuck about the distant past. I'm satisfied with the way I've turned out due to my own efforts more than the obstacles set by others. All those HS losers are fat and tied down with families who hate them, anyway. Fuck them, they're practically dead. Don't fuck up anon. You can do this.

>>9579446
Did terribly in High School.
I went to University and got a couple of degrees in fields I was interested in but I'm unemployable with them.
I regret getting educated in something I was interested in rather than in something that would pay me money.

I learned that most people are barely literate and can barely write a coherent sentence. However, that has little or no impact on their ability to make a living.

>>9579446
>class clown
>one girl was into me
>didn't realize it because I was retarded, only noticed in retrospect
>got long hair in last year
>looked like a faggot

So yeah, a lot to regret. At least I had friends, unlike now.

>>9579503
>I also regret doing so much lsd.

i don't regret doing lsd, but i do think i should have chilled maybe. most people do like 1-3 hits but i'd do like 5-10 hits, sometimes super strong liquid lsd too. the one that fucked me up was taking acid and shrooms at the same time and then staying up for like 36 hours or so...oh god why didn't i just sleep in the morning, all the insanity wouldn't have been able to burrow into my brain pathways, that one fucked me up...i was never 100% normie, but i was fucked weird for like a decade after that...love lsd and life would be worse not having experienced that, but yeah, i maybe could have done a bit less ... on the other hand i don't think i would be as obsessed with literary theory and aesthetics if i hadn't tripped so much back in the day

>>9580233
you missed the fact that my books are unpublished as of yet.

>>9580631
It's a very competitive focus. It isn't a dead end if you are prepared to make it your life. Everyone wants to be a cinematographer or a director.

>>9582184
That staying up for days part happened to me. We were tripping off of 2 hits or so. 2 hits doesn't seem like much now, but back then it was a lot for me. I had no idea what to expect and neither did the people I was tripping with. Sure enough when it kicked in I was completely blown on my ass but having a great time anyway. However my friend completely lost his mind

>>9582520
accidentally pressed send lol.

but keeping him in control all not put a toll on me and very much stressed me out. I was sure that our RAs were going to get us and things like that. I stayed up for two days. The next day I went to the park for a square and everything felt completely different and I was terrified.

>>9582520
yeah when u first start 2 hits can be a lot, depends how strong it is too, freshness matters, not all acid is the same, so yeah i've had nights on 2-3 hits that were pretty far out

I didn't really care about my grades, the school that I was in didn't fit any possible career I wanted, and the area was shit in the first place. In the meantime, I just dealed drugs.

All in all, nothing really negative happened to me. It was probably one of the most bland times in my life, but I did also listen to a lot of music and read a lot as well, so that may have helped me

>drugs
>drugs
>drugs
Fucking disgusting. Drug users should be executed.

>>9582601
>only 9 posts mentioning drugs
>getting this mad
kek

Got into neo-nazi gangs and drank all the time. Took a long time to recover from the bad image I had built, I was quite known in my town.
Ended up getting a lot of threats and got beaten and shit like that but it wasn't that bad.
It was in the time after my gang period I found literature, spending lonely nights drinking and trying to find a new identity.

High school was shit. Wish I could redo it. I can easily trace most of my bad habits and attributes to the time I spent there.

File: dis.jpg (4MB, 3731x2998px) Image search: [Google]

4MB, 3731x2998px

I recall having read this horrendous book for class. It was a mystery novel about a student who tries to uncover a tryst between her teacher and her father which may have led to her mother's suicide in a car crash. Notable is that the protagonist cites things within the prose to indicate what she feels, a la "it reminds me of a tiger I saw (Clark, 2009: Tiger Illustrations)."

It was horrible and made me not want to read very much, but by senior year I had been reading more often. I did fairly well in high school and am now in university. Can anyone help me find that book? I recall it had a convoluted title.

>>9579446
How fucking tiny is this guy? Even as a 5'9 manlet this ugly faggot fucking repulses me and has no right showing his hideous body to anyone, infanantly worse than the fat fuck autist who wears a pokemon t-shirt and dosen't realize how much everyone finds him a disgusting shit.

>>9582601
acid is unlike any other drug. it's unfair to group it with drugs you take to mellow physical/emotional pain.

>How did you do in high school?
Terribly. I would either fail a class outright or get a high A. Probably have a fuck all GPA, but somehow did well on SAT and especially ACT.
I think I got 1900 and 31, respectively, which is funny because I didn't study at all for ACT. To this day I fear that I was simply lucky, and have been gliding by on luck alone. The night before the ACT, I sat down at 11:30pm and said, OK, time to study. I went onto google, typed in "how to study for ACT" and got the advice to "focus". Then went promptly to bed.
>Where did you end up?
Currently in a community college on the southern California coast, hoping to transfer somewhere, get a degree in STEM, work hard, build a trimaran like my grandfather, and run for office somewhere.
>What are your regrets?
Oh, man. Back in the sixth grade, a girl I really liked asked me if I liked her. I freaked out and said "No, I like her as a friend." I am pretty sure she took it hard and got chubby. Maybe I am valuing my impact there a little much, but oh well. I also regret missing three points in my junior year philosophy class on a vocab quiz, if I had those three points I could've had a perfect 100% in the class. Fucking pissed me off so much that I was that fucking close. Those are probably my two biggest regrets.

>Whaddya learn about writing?
I think that you can learn many things by examining good writing, but it is hard to pin down what, exactly, makes those works good. Reading bad literature helps you identify what things not to do. I think someday I'll read some terrible novels and rewrite them to make them "good". A second set of eyes helps, but it is ideal to have these eyes be as critical of your writing as possible. There is already so much shit out there, no need to pollute it further until you really feel strong about your work and can defend it. Even then, never pretend, imagine, or see yourself as a good writer. Pride is sinful and egregious, never think for a moment that your work is anything but your best effort. The moment you think yourself good, you will think you will have talent, and begin to slip further into pride and pseudo-intellectualism.

>>9582601
Why so triggered?

File: 185.png (109KB, 251x239px) Image search: [Google]

109KB, 251x239px

>>9579446
>How did you do in high school?
terribly average, with a C in one class, and an A in another. all others were B
>Where did you end up?
college, went for creative writing and finished with creative writing and pre dental reqs
>What are your regrets?
i didnt just do full on chem major. i loved organic chemistry alot, and it shaped the way i think about life. i would have been great in the industry, like an rb woodward wannabe

Great contamination thread for blogposters

>>9584517
>contamination
It's containment you stupid fucking idiot

>>9584517
>contamination

seems we have a crooked cabriole here

I'm still in highschool and I'm procrastinating right now, I'll probably end up with a shit score and join the army. I'm regretting everything as it happens instantaneously, but not enough to change what I'm doing.

Had straight As until spring sophomore year and in a rivalry soccer game a jackass bicycle kicked me in the head and now I have huge short term memory problems but reading and writing helps me focus so I do it a ton

My 11th grade lit teacher taught me how to concentrate again

Managed to finish 45th out of about 350

I have always been obsessed with music. In high school I took every music opportunity there was( jazz band,marching band, choir, select ensemble, violin lessons, guitar lessons,etc). I started a couple bands and played in a few others touring around my state. It was my dream to go to college and study music composition. I did absolutely awful in all other classes though. My parents never really gave a fuck and my dad was in Iraq so I learned to to just not do anything but write music.

My sophomore year my grandma committed suicide. One day she was just gone and I never really dealt with the loss. I started to just stay up all night and sleep in school all day to run the clock. Then I would skip classes all day and play guitar in the band room. Eventually I would just walk home.

I could have done okay I guess. One time during a big test I just sat there the whole time and threw away my copy on the way out of class. At the end of the day the principal asked why I did it and I just shrugged and kept walking. When I got back from break he made me sit in the office and take it. After taking a nap I did the test and went back to class. They told me later I got the third highest grade of anyone in my year.

Eventually I dropped out. Depression and anxiety got so bad I couldn't do anymore. The day I turned 18 I just stopped going. After that I started hanging out with screw ups and partying a lot. At first it was just alcohol and weed. Then I was taking pills and eventually snorting them. That's when I started doing dxm.

That shit was the highlight of my life. I was in a really good band at the time doing shows and recording music I loved. When I wasn't doing hat I was tripping balls and smoking joints. I would listen to music and feel like a god. The sounds became a room I would exist in feeling utter bliss. Every nuance had so much raw emotion it would shake my body and blow my mind to pieces. Eventually I snapped after mixing every drug I had. I don't know if I was subconsciously trying to kill myself or not but i permanently lost a piece of my soul that day.

After that I was never "there" I had a two second memory and terrible existential anxiety. I just made music and smoked weed for a while. I took up reading to help with philosophical issues and to train my attention span. For a while I had faint memories of these incredible feelings I experienced that I would relive for seconds if a good song played or something. The day I did acid I felt alive again. Once my mind came back as much as it could the good feelings were all gone and now I feel nothing. I am a ghost.

I learned a lot. I learned that this world is unforgiving and you have to take responsibility for everything you do. I learned that ideas have more power over us than we do. If you have every lost control of yourself because you think you are Jesus you will know what I mean. I learned that writing is about expressing. You have to have something to share for it to be meaningful.

>>9579521
>Maybe the fact I can't identify it or articulate it means I didn't learn very much at all.

bruh same :(

>>9580797

They'll never understand. With a degree of discipline common among the younger generation, they want things on a golden platter, not just a silver one.

>>9579604

Excelling at doing the bare minimum is literally the best of everything

People assume you're amazing and you feel an overwhelming sense of "I can't believe I'm actually getting away with this" at all times

>>9582204
upload to dropbox or something like that

>>9585457
>not studying to better yourself
what??

>>9579473
More like you have a shit taste, pleb

>>9579446
>How did you do in high school?
>Where did you end up?
>What are your regrets?

I had all A's but only barely.
I am currently a poet.
Not killing my self.

>>9579446
>How did you do in high school?
Good enough.
>Where did you end up?
Some German University
>What are your regrets?
None. I am what I am due to my choices.
>And in all of this, what did you learn the most about writing?
I learned that over the top verbosity is rewarded in the German public schooling system.

>>9586733
Forgot to add, I'm currently working for a bundesland state department.

>>9579572
>I hate public schools. Worst system ever
why? how is that scenario you described not applicable to every other environment you find yourself in? public schools are there for us poor fags who weren't born into wealth

>>9579446
1.6 GPA.
Joined the army and matured, did great on my SAT and now I'm going to a top tier liberal arts college for free.
I hated fucking literature because I was an edgy 16 year old, I never took a liking to it until basic training when it's all I had for entertainment, and it stuck with me.

>>9579446

How did you do in high school?
>Went to a rural high school in the bumfuck midwest.
>Ignored by almost everyone.
>I had a small group of friends, also outcasts, but I was at the bottom of the pecking order among them (always the butt of jokes, largely due to me taking myself too seriously).
>Didn't really suffer that much bullying, I was just regarded as that weird kid who read during recess.
>Graduated valedictorian with almost no effort.
>The low academic standards, combined with my arrogance ingrained poor work habits in me that I'm still struggling to rid myself of.

Where did you end up?
>I did very well in college (valedictorian in my major, ancient history). My senior supervisor pushed me to do a PhD, but she also admitted that there was practically no chance of me getting a job in the field.
>Went to law school afterwards, grades dropped to slightly-above-average.
>Graduated, didn't find a job because I had zero work experience, a B average, and no desire to be a lawyer.
>Teaching at a high school now, apathetic about everything except reading and my 3D waifu.

What are your regrets?
>Not working harder in law school. I had no idea what I wanted to do, so I might as well have just become a lawyer so at least I could get paid well while drifting aimlessly towards death.

What did you learn the most about writing?
>It's impossible to change most people's minds through writing, as they never read anything with the requisite openness or intensity.
>All you can do is influence a few people, and hope the message is passed on eventually.

>>9584683
>I'm in highschool.

USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST

did the /smartbutlazy/ meme until last two years, regret it heavily. only read stupid shit

got into a decent school taking on a bit of debt thinking i wanted to do STEM... realized my mistake too late.

i'm a sophomore now stuck in STEM still but largely unsure of what i'm doing.

>>9579446

I was an A student till high school. Then a Mostly B student because I stopped giving a shit.

I'm middle aged and had almost been homeless due to Obama Economy. I 've been unemployed for 8 years. Lost my house and decimated my savings. I just got a job as a part time package handler at a Fed Ex sorting facility. Starting over from scratch with nothing at 44. Living in an Aunt's extra room with no windows.

I regret not taking up electricity and becoming an electrician instead of going for Electronic Engineering and not finishing college.

I got very good grades but did not fully challenge or apply myself except for in english classes, which I always found to be the most interesting. Most of my teachers did not seem to think much of me however I was lucky to have very caring, well paid english teachers in a wealthy school district that would encourage me to write outside of class and even read and respond to my stuff a lot.

As for myself, I spent the first three years focused entirely on finding sex and romance which I regret heavily. My junior year I slept with like six people and had very awful relationships with two of them. One of them was 23 even though I was 16. It really hurt my self esteem and I've felt a lot of shame about it, even to this day.

Senior year though I just put down the video games and spent more time getting to know people. I was in another relationship that lasted long and became quite ugly but overall I spent a lot of time with friends that I became very close to. Did a lot of creative stuff and began exercising more. Found it very hard to part with my english teachers, especially one of them who basically saw through me my entire time in high school (I took electives with her after I took the required with her) and encouraged me to confront things I was dealing with through writing. I had a very Freedom Writers experience with her and I wrote her a long letter that made her sob when she read it on the last day. Overall senior year made up for the first three and that's really what I view as being my high school experience.

I was in the GT program and then went rebel, started skipping months and a time and getting in major troubles once or twice a year. Almost got expelled several times and only my prior academic performance made them keep me. Started with drugs and alcohol. Went to night school to barely finish diploma.

I was the guy who was sleeping through graduation practice the last week of senior year and getting texts from staceys trying to wake me up and then stumbling into the gym 4 hours late with bedhead and wearing a hoodie even though it was 90 degrees outside.

>>9584744
just so you know, someone read that and was very touched by your story

>>9589307
>implying you aren't 18 in senior year

>>9579446
>severely dyslexic and dyspraxic as a child
>some fat bitch tells me "I shouldn't really bother with education"
>legit wants to send me to retard camp
>become a furious eight year old, physically aggressive, class clown, but also determined
>stay home late with my mother every night, with her teaching me how to read and write
>eventually scrape into a decent secondary school
>don't do much work for the first three years
>have average exams aged 16 (GCSE)
>start reading heavily at this point
>get a lot of anxiety
>read The Sickness Unto Death
>keep reading
>start writing
>reading
>Get a A** in English and Philosophy (Pre-U, set by Cambridge) and an A in Politics
>don't sleep and fuck up my oxford interview
>travel, keep working (I work every summer)
>study in Ireland at Trinity
>have a great time
>still think about that fat bitch sometimes

I think anxiety and writing are very linked. There's a kind of controlled nervousness a good writer can develop, where they're thinking in very infinite terms, but always honing it down into a thing concrete

Should have gone to a trade school and earned some qualifications for a job, instead of being stuck on college with no motivation and contemplating suicide.

>>9579446
>fuck all, still have a degree with the normal graduation date despite not having the credits until 3 months later
>at your mothers house
>not showering more, not admitting im gay and asking out guys

>>9585432
>tfw you finally understand what the old folks who had an aura of depressive regret were feeling when they tried to tell you how to live/improve your life as a child
>tfw you disregarded "the establishment" of adults always trying to shit on your parade to do as you pleased

Well, I can't say I'm surprised it came full circle and goes on unacknowledged.

>>9579446
I was illiterate in high-school, I didn't even learn what a thesis was until college, nobody even cared as long as our football team was winning.
I mostly played video-games, I hardly remember anything I learned in high-school.