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Can someone rate this? Is it too tacky? It's honestly meant to be a part of a charcter's note, but I don't know if it sounds too stupid
I tried /r9k/, but rhey are too busy eating tendies and being dead.
It's Google Translated with some small fixes, so it may sound a little awkward
>I killed myself out of boredom, that's all. Crushing, depressing, overpowering, boring boredom. In the life that I have lived, or did not live, depending on your point of view, never have I done anything remotely interesting. I've never been revoltingly evil, nor impressively good. I never screamed with all the strength of my lungs in the middle of a crowd, just to revel myself with the stares. I never jumped from some very high place, not sure if I would hit the water or the rocks, only to feel that freedom whirring through my ears. I have never made friends with whom I could be honest, people with whom I could laugh at all that I speak now for its pure childishness. I have never believed anyone could hear my prayers. I have never found anything I could like, something that I was really interested in, that encouraged me to get out of bed every day. I have never belonged anywhere, anyplace, with anyone. I have never hated anything or anyone. I have never cried with unfanthomable sadness, nor have I ever felt overwhelming joy. I have never felt the temptation to try to love someone. I have never felt hope about anything that could make me look at the next day and delude myself into believing that perhaps someday everything could be better.
Also, share suicide /lit/ to keep interest up. Or your own note.
I guess.
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>>9564756
>boring boredom
I made it exactly this far
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>>9564780
i swear it makes sense in my language
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>>9564818
YOU HAVE TO GO BACK, PACO
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>>9564823
I'm no Paco
I'm aJoão
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>>9564956
I don't expect you people to understand Portuguese. I'm just trying to make sure that the gist of it isn't too childish or stupid
Also, I'm a 200% aryan blond, blue-eyed, 7 feet tall, 10 inch dicked chef at Giraffas that makes 300k a year, ok?
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>>9565028
This doesn't sound too stupid - it sounds too boring. I'm sure it is fitting for an angsty suicide note, but does it make for good literature?
The reader is expecting the note to be depressing, the first sentence subverts that a little. Then it is goes back to what people expect from suicide notes. However, most of all it is too long, the message is clear two sentences in and even those sentences have a lot of unnecessary words. The rest adds nothing more.
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>>9565059
not the OP, but I'd guess that's kind of the point
the constant repetition, the lack of emotion, the circularity of the text, they all create the impression of not only a boring text, but a boring character who realizes how boring he is
the guy isn't depressed, or sad, or desperate
he's bored
he didn't do anything meaningful in his life and regrets the time wasted
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>>9564756
>I never jumped from some very high place, not sure if I would hit the water or the rocks, only to feel that freedom whirring through my ears
I stopped here. Wtf. Who jumps off a cliff with a 50/50 chance of dying to feel "freedom whirring through my ears"?
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it sounds too optimistic. the character seems to care too much about things he wishes he could've done rather than seeing no value in any of those activities/moments. try reading some actual suicide notes
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Here's mine
>tfw no gf
Honest, short, and to the point
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>>9564756
its shit kys
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>>9565363
>Paulo Memelho
Eu li O Alquimista quando era criança, não entendi e criei preconceito com o trabalho dele.
Mas posso tentar dar uma olhada. Obrigado!
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>>9565363
>our master Paulo Coelho
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>>9565379
Não cara, a parte do "our master" é totalmente irônica. Eu li o Verônica, e achei meio mé. Não sou fã do cara, mas acho que a parte do começo do livro onde ela dá os motivos de ela se matar é extremamente semelhante ao que você tava tentando fazer e pode ser útil pra te dar alguma perspectiva.
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>>9565436
M-mas anão
Eu não quero escrever igual ao Paulo Coelho
Por que daí eu já uso o texto no OP pra fazer a minha propria carta
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>>9565458
Mas anon, (plot twist) você já está escrevendo igual a ele. A motivação do seu personagem (se mata por que está entediado) é igual a desse livro que eu tô te falando. Talvez ler o começo dele te ajude a decidir se vc realmente quer seguir por esse caminho e te ajude a evitar as mesmas armadilhas que ele cai. PS: Eu realmente gosto do "tédio entediante".
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>>9565503
Obrigado, anão.
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>>9565028
>Also, I'm a 200% aryan blond, blue-eyed, 7 feet tall, 10 inch dicked chef at Giraffas that makes 300k a year, ok?
Based.
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