/lit/ humor thread

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>>9522957

starting this off

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>>9522960

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>>9522962

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>>9522972

>>9522979

My God that was funny

>>9522972
I-is that real?

>>9522957
> be visiting Dublin and taking a tour bus
>the Irish bus driver providing commentary asks over the PA if anybody on board has read Ulysses
>I raise my hand
>"Uh-oh! Best watch out everybody, because PROFESSOR YANK here has read Ulysses"
>"All hail the might intellect of PROFESSOR YANK, who has sat down, and yes, read every dense and allegorical page of James Joyce's modernist masterpiece, Ulysses"
>everybody on the bus is now staring at me
>whenever he stops the bus to point out a literary landmark he runs it by me, "the professor"
>"say professor, do recognize that building over there?"
>I don't know and shrug
>"Sorry folks, I guess PROFESSOR YANK hasn't done his homework! That building to our right is of course the iconic hotel where Nora Barnacle, James Joyce's muse, worked as a chambermaid for a number of years. Not to worry, I'm sure PROFESSOR YANK will get the next one"
>this continues for an hour and half
>the Dutch girls in the back of the bus are laughing at me and making fun of the flat cap I bought on Grafton street
>when I finally get off at Kilmainham Gaol the entire bus cheers
>as he's closing the doors, the driver says over the intercom "See you next term, PROFESSOR YANK"

>>9523024
Yes, it's real. Teenage girls are turning to the dark enlightenment across the land

corn

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>>9522960
hue

>>9522979
what is this thing about "hemmingway?" even without it, it is not at all funny.

>>9523024
reddit

>>9523026
is that's true, bus driver was a fucking dick. how did people not stop laughing after the second time? although some jokes are mildly funny the first time, not funny the second time and then if repeated enough lose their original menaing and can become hilarious. try rewing and watching the same three second part of a melodramatic movie over and over and over

Anyone else notice how screenshots of greentexts are always exponentially more funny than actual greentexts?

>>9522957
Could someone please post the story of someone trying to impress some girl at prom, he arrives in a segway fashionably late, chad insults him, bushido dictates he must defend his honour, challenge him to a duel, before he can draw his Yu-Gi-Oh! cards he gets punched so hard his fedora flies off even though he had it strapped under his chin, watches K-On marathan at home

He wrote 3 stories that were all fantastic, but this one was the best and one of the best green text stories I've ever read as it fully exploits the medium of greentexting

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>>9523084
this is objectively true

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>>9522957

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>>9522957

>>9523126
Those are really good, what's the joke?

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Fresh OC, inspired by:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Four_causes#The_four_causes_in_technology_by_Heidegger
>Heidegger raises the questions of why just these four causes, how was it determined that they exclusively go together, what exactly unifies them and what makes causa finalis and causa efficiens different. These are important questions to analyze and attempt to answer or else the definition of technology will remain obscure.
Destruktion has the outstanding capacity of making you feel stupid.

>>9523126
The funny thing is that I now consider the poem on the right to be a good poem.

What the hell has happened to poetry?

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>>9522957

no matter how unfunny and terrible life may seem, always remember that no matter what you choose to do in life, there is always a skeleton smiling inside of you until the day you shed you're mortal coil

>>9523144
>like a beautiful flower that was opening and somebody was pushing their dick inside it

I wish I had an image to express my laughter

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>>9523126

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>>9522957

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>>9523193

>>9523193
way too good for rupi

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>>9523198

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>>9523126
Speaking of tigers

>>9523198
>if people were rain then men would be calm but women would be batshit insane

Is this what they call the "redpill"?

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>>9523202

>>9523197
That's /tv/, not /lit/.

>>9523026
Serves you right for reading Ulysses, maybe you'll think better next time PROFESSOR YANK.

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>>9522957

>>9523191
Dick parkinson's is the part where I lose it every time. Then again with the fading sound of his abs galloping away.

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pic related is the best green text ever made by /lit/

>>9523378
Only a cuck would think that

>>9523378
>le Plato is bad meme
>le anything popular is bad meme

>>9522979
good times

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>>9523378
>>9523381
>>9523393

>yfw the black man was making a reference to the fact that both the reader and Socrates/Plato recognize their ignorance;
>"Are you an intellectual? - Not really",
>"I know that I know nothing".

>>9523126
Tiger tiger burning bright
Tiger tiger, Kaur is shite

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>>9522957

>>9523198
10/10

>>9523413
tip top fucking kek

>>9523144
>Galloping abs

Holy shit. That's beautiful.

>>9523144
>Hilda clutched at the bedsheets with lust and ecstasy and her hands

Every fucking time

>>9523272

Honestly this author seems to be on to something.

>>9523525
kek