a story where nothing happens

Like it. Reminds me of Horace and Pete. Post one op! At least the incipit!

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>>9519415

I feel very selfconscious about sharing them but I am also very curious to find out if anyone else has the same desire for uninteresting but 'comfy' reading i do, so here is today's story:

>https://docs.google.com/document/d/1BRKCEfMe5iPvzru-47FE0lcTRJIWsqmuOULR-OuNcHA/edit?usp=sharing

I really hope you like it - I'm quite nervous about what others think actually

This one is only 7 pages long, but if you don't want to read about the daily chores then the bar's business hours start just before page 3. And the bar gets busier just before page 5 if even that is too much.

And for the *really* lazy, here is a screenshot of just a couple of paragraphs.

>>9519422
Op, now I can't say I don't like it even I do dislike it. Gonna read it and let you know!

So, i didn't like the fact that I settled in the future and art doesn't come off as "real" enough, but I still liked it

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>>9519494

i think i will try to tone down the future stuff next time. i reread todays story with your thoughts in mind and stuff like mentions of 'plassteel' and caffeine being banned i think are making it less authentic with very little benefits. so, ill cut back on that - thanks for the feedback.

i like the toxic air thing though, i think not being able to go outside makes it peversely comfy to be inside, if that makes sense. like when youre inside during a thunderstorm.

>>9519533
Said that the air is toxic but don't explain why. I'd even go for "it's 2017 and the air is toxic and trump just banned caffeine (or some other more realistic thing)"

>>9519627
*say

>>9519627

Already in places like Beijing and Shanghai you have to wear a mask to go outside in some weathers. it seems not that farfetched to me that this could worsen and spread to the West as well.

And although I could provide an explicit explanation, I feel like it would be forced. When I look at an electric car I dont think 'thats an electric car that was invented to combat the growing airpollution problem caused by petrol cars', i just think 'thats an electric car'.

>>9519654
Yeah, I agree. Don't explain it.

Also, I feel that a collection of different short stories with the same casa of characters in the same location it's already a neat idea by itself. Adding a futuristic vibe to it would be putting too much meat on the fire, as we say in my country ( again, this doesn't mean you should get rid of the toxic environment).

i want to read some short stories, no more than 1 or 2 pages :/ i can't find any one

>>9519685

Thats smaller than a short story. short stories are usually 15-30 pages long.

>>9519394
I like it, but I feel like that as hard as you may try, Art is still a character, even if hes a very subtle one. The way you write him reflects yourself, right? So when he acts it feels unique. I could never "be" Art, so to speak; and he seems ripe for devolopment.
Kust listening to these conversations alone is boring, I prefer to get Art's take on them. And Art's take is your take (which let me reiterate, I do not feel bearly the same way about the characters as Art does), so just expand it. Art feels like he has alot of hidden depth. Although you don't need a traditional plot, if the stories take place in a consistent universe then "something" has to happen over the course of the novel, unless you're planning a "Praire Home Companion" style; but those stories were overblown and fantastical, and that doesn't feel like what you're going for here. If its simple and quiet, then make emotion the main character. Make those plots really captivating. I could see alot done with this if its done right.

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>>9519725

In terms of the overarching story progression, I figured that could be achieved by the bars patrons talking about and giving updates on their own, only-partially glimpsed, lives. So over the course of a few 'days' you might see two friends drift apart or a character weather a personal tragedy.

And as for Art, I guess he does have a character. Actually hes sort of the manifestation of my writing style, now i think about it. I'm not sure what to do about it though. I dont want Art to have a story or progression - one of the things I loved about Sherlock Holmes as a kid was that he never changed, I could read any story in any order with no jarring discrepancies. I think familiarity is important for comfiness. I'll have to think about it.

thank you very much for your feedback, you have some astute observations

OP, I haven't read it yet, but that's a great idea. Keep it going. I'll read and comment on the writing sometime tonight.

>>9519715
Just google flash fiction. There are some great annual collections/"best of 20xx." Small fictions is another name, might help your search. Sudden Fiction.

Etgar Keret writes very short stories, almost all of which are superb. Check him out.

Also, because flash fiction is relatively new, a lot of great stuff is just online. Look around.

Oh, and Kafka's very short fiction would be worth looking into. Enjoy.

This Is a comfy thread

>>9519394
Sounds like Va-11 Hall-A