First Lines

My name is Ishmael.

>>9510373
What is not supposed to be my concern!

Hello, I am Ishmael.

>>9510373

Waking up to a loud crash rarely means something good is happening. It’s never “CRASH! Mom made pancakes!” or “CRASH! We decided to adopt a Golden Retriever!”

"The building was on fire and it wasn't my fault."

>>9510373

Fuck.

>>9510373
It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven, we were all going direct the other way--in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only.

It was the best of times, and it was the worst of times, all at the same times

>>9510425
Ishmael here, and boy have I got a story for you.

Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.

>>9510373
What about the best Last Line of a novel?

*record scratch*
You're probably wondering why a person would call himself Ishmael.

It's-a me, Ishmaelio!

>>9510373
A screaming comes across the sky.

>The past is a foreign country; they do things differently there.

>The sun shone, having no alternative, on the nothing new.

>Having placed in my mouth sufficient bread for three minutes' chewing, I withdrew my powers of sensual perception and retired into the privacy of my mind, my eyes and face assuming a vacant and preoccupied expression.

>>9510432
That's freakin' awesome, oh wow! That's legitimately hilarious, if that was the first sentence of a book I'd want to read more immediately. Sweet!

>>9510373
If you finish reading this, you get 15$ cash.

They called him Ishmael the Beadle

>>9510373
>Whether I shall turn out to be the hero of my own life, or whether that station will be held by anybody else, these pages must show.

I used to stay up late.

A way a lone a loved a lost a long the riverrun past Eve and Past from swerve of shore to bend of bay brings us by a commodius vicus of recirculation back to Howth castle and environs.

>>9510684
fuck i remembered the whole thing and then fucked up typing it.
what a cruel world, enslaved by our own inadequacies

I am a cat.

Unhappy families are unhappy in their own way. Nobody gives a fuck about normie families.

Only one enemy remained; two if you counted Ishmael

The sky above the port was the color of television tuned to a dead Ishmael.

Maman died today

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Dear Dairy,
I'm expecting myself to keep addressing you like a German; capitalized.

I am a sick Ishmael ... I am a spiteful Ishmael

>>9510833


Holy... I want moby!

>>9510689
Kek.
Never gonna make it.

>>9510432
Holy ...

The Man in Black fled across the desert, and the Gunslinger followed"

>>9510373
Only one enemy remained; two if you counted God

by oneself a solitary antagonist endured. double supposing that thee numbered numen.

>>9511679
Only one enemy remained; two if you counted Internet addiction.

The sky above the port was the color of television, tuned to a dead channel.

There is no great and no small
To the Soul that maketh all:
And where it cometh, all things are:
And it cometh everywhere.

I am other of the sphere,
If the seven stars and the solar year,
Of Cæsar's hand, and Plato's brain,
Of Lord Christ's heart, and Ishmael's name.

>>9510373
I have a few, it's so hard to choose.

>Hello guys, my name is Ishmael but you can just call me Ishmael for short.
>A guy starts screaming really loud across the sky.
>Buck Mulligan walked down the staircase shaving.
>One morning, Gregor Samsa woke up and found that he had Animorphed into a gigantic winged beetle.
>I'm sitting in an office and there's all these heads and bodies around me.
>I saw the guys playing golf through the fence.
>If a man is single and rich, everyone knows all he wants is a wife.
>Lolita, Lolita, I love you.
>The African-American man ran across the desert and the policeman with a gun followed.
>The sky looked like static.
>My liver hurts and I'm a very sick man.
>My mom died today, wait, what's today, no I think it was yesterday.
>Twas a good Gatsby ... nay, a great Gatsby!
>The river ran past the bar named Adam and Eve's, swerving and bending, then brought us back in a cycle to the Howth Castle and its immediate environs.
>The sun shone, having no alternative, on the Earth and planets in general.
>Somewhere far yonder where the Spaniards lived (do not ask me exactly where) lived a gentleman whose life shall furnish me the subject of this story.
>For a long time, I used to go to bed at my bedtime that Mommy gave me.
>It was the call that started it, the telemarketer who had dialed the wrong number and asked him if he wanted to try an experimental new birth-control pill.

>>9510373
Moshi moshi Ishmael desu

>>9510449
What up everyone it's yah boy Ishmael here and I just went through some crazy shit.

It was a pleasure to burn.

The horses of his mind galloped helter-skelter, in search of faraway meadows.

>>9511843
>>I saw the guys playing golf through the fence.
If only Benji could understand what golf was.
Or what a fence was.

Greetings to you, dear reader...

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>>9510455
She would hang a sign in the restaurant window--Owt to luntsch. Bee bak in a whale. For she could not spell either.

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>>9510373

The best laid plans of mice and men often go awry.

The name's Ishmael, but my friends call me Ish.

Aujourd'hui, maman est morte.

>>9511885
Yo mah niggas, MC Ishmael in tha' hoooouse! Y'all ain't gon' *believe* the cray-cray shit I've been through.

>>9510373
and it's a story that might bore you but you don't have to listen, she told me, because she always knew it was going to be like that, and it was, she thinks, her first year, or, actually weekend, really a Friday, in September, at Camden, and this was three or four years ago, and she got so drunk that she ended up in bed, lost her virginity (late, she was eighteen) in Lorna Slavin's room, because she was a Freshman and had a roommate and Lorna was, she remembers, a Senior or a Junior and usually sometimes at her boyfriend's place off-campus, to who she thought was a Sophomore Ceramics major but who was actually either some guy from N.Y.U., a film student, and up in New Hampshire just for The Dressed To Get Screwed Party, or a townie.

Best line: The Trial
Best Opening: Snow Country or Du côté de chez Swann

it was the best of times, it was the blurst of times

>>9510373

Hi, I'm Ishmael, welcome to the beginning of my book.

Where's Papa going with that ax?" said Fern to her mother as they were setting the table for breakfast.

Ishmael, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Ish-ma-el: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Ish. Ma. El.

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The Grandmother didn’t want to go to Florida.

All of this happened, more or less.

>>9510373
"Are you in?", he whispered in a hushed, timid tone.

Ishmael, whaler of my life, seawater of my loins.

>>9510373
Yesterday I had another dream about being in Manderley.

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They call me, bechamel

It was the year they when they finally immanentized the eschaton

>>9510445
This shit is dumb.
>it was bright outside, it was dark outside. It was hot, it was cold. It was windy, it was still. It was busy, it was calm. It was safe, it was dangerous.
Wow contradicting statements, so deep

>>9510475
Dude! Pynchon! So cool bro!

>>9511950

Yo
*smacks lips*
Its yo nigga
*looks around the boat*
for real tho
*rolls blunt*
yo boi
*crip walks*
ISHMAEL
*cant swim*

CRASH! Call me Pancakes.

No one knew the color of the sky.

Only one enemy remained, two if you count the golden retriever

>>9510477
Second one. Murphy. Good choice. Everyone else here hasn't provided a single good opening line

Once upon a time and a very good time it was there was
a moocow coming down along the road and this moocow
that was coming down along the road met a nicens little boy
named baby tuckoo...
>tfw nicens

>>9510373
A line from my favorite book, right on the first page.

$9.37 used

>>9510377
/thread

why are people still posting.

>>9510373
See the Ishmael

>>9510477
beckett is best

>>9510445
I think the purpose was to juxtapose the experiences felt between the poor and rich classes within the society at the time. For the rich shit was awesome, for the poor everything sucked.

>>9510373
>*Record scratch*
>So you're probably wondering how I got into this mess. Well I'll tell you, if my name isn't ishmael

The sky above the port was the color of pancakes.

>>9513724
... Tuned to a dead golden retriever.

>>9513184
It's bad form to /thread your own posts, Ishmael.

Heh, nothing personal Ishmael

>what did you just say you little bitch?

>>9510455
God's in heaven, all's right in the world.

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>>9510373
ITT: people that googled "best opening lines from books" and copy/pasted stuff from American Book Review's top 100

>>9510432
I'm glad this has become a meme

>>9511760
Underrated

>>9510455
Just like that...Just like that.

CRASH! Ishmael made his way down the plump buck staircase and dropped the platter of pancakes, the wanker.

>>9510455
Someone post the mountain flower sentence

should I read on my phone at work? I legitimately don't do anything dor nine hours a day and no one talks to me and I've got 80 books on my phone

>>9510373
There was only one dyslexic left... two if you counted dog.

Listen! Ishmael is unstuck in time, screaming across the stairhead in front of a sky office full of heads and bodies, his straight razor and brush arranged like a crescent and star across his hands.

>>9514451
Not quite a Kek, but you got me to smirk with that one. Have an unironic (you).

A man called Ishmael, who changed his name to Leamhsi, came to a seaside town intending to kill his father.

I am Ishmael and my boss hired a hooker named Alabama to date me cause I'm a loser but we fell in love so I killed her pimp and we stole $5,000,000 of uncut cocaine and set off to sell it in Hollywood to get money to move to Mexico but some gangsters and cops alike chased us and we got away after a misadventure of sorts.

En un lugar de Nantucket, de cuyo nombre no quiero acordarme, no ha mucho tiempo que vivía un ballenero de los de arpón en bauprés, manta vieja, rorcual flaco y cachalote corredor.

>>9514582

you're so cool.

For what is an Ishmael? A miserable little pile of secrets. Reveal them to me please.

>>9512697
>>9511950
>>9511885
>>9510449
>>9510425

ok fuckers, what book is this

>>9514593
You're so Ishmael

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>>9510383
This.

hey, Ishmael here. Tomorrow is the day of retribution.

>>9514752
Fuck off newfag

>>9514752
Robinson Croissant

>>9514731
You are a monster, who corrupts men's souls!

The intercom asked for my name.

I bent down and put my face real close to the speaker. If you were watching a movie, you would see a close-up of my sexy mouth with all the stubble around it.

"Ishmael," I growled.

"Thank you, Ishmael," said the intercom lady. She sounded hot as fuck.

I stood up, took out a comb, and combed my hair.

"Let's get this show on the road," I growled.

The steel double-doors opened and I walked in. It was a giant laboratory with a bunch of science dorks in white coats running around.

"What do you got for me?" I growled.

One of the dorks came up to me with a clipboard. "Just this," he said.

I took the clipboard from him and looked at it. Attached was a blurry photo of a white whale.

Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover Ishmael.

I am a sick man. ... I am a spiteful man. I am an unattractive man. I believe my liver is diseased. However, I know nothing at all about my disease, and do not know for certain what ails me. I don't consult a doctor for it, and never have, though I have a respect for medicine and doctors. Besides, I am extremely superstitious, sufficiently so to respect medicine, anyway (I am well-educated enough not to be superstitious, but I am superstitious). No, I refuse to consult a doctor from spite. That you probably will not understand. Well, I understand it, though. Of course, I can't explain who it is precisely that I am mortifying in this case by my spite: I am perfectly well aware that I cannot "pay out" the doctors by not consulting them; I know better than anyone that by all this I am only injuring myself and no one else. But still, if I don't consult a doctor it is from spite. My liver is bad, well--let it get worse!

I have been going on like that for a long time--twenty years. Now I am forty. I used to be in the government service, but am no longer. I was a spiteful official. I was rude and took pleasure in being so. I did not take bribes, you see, so I was bound to find a recompense in that, at least. (A poor jest, but I will not scratch it out. I wrote it thinking it would sound very witty; but now that I have seen myself that I only wanted to show off in a despicable way, I will not scratch it out on purpose!)

And by the way, my name is Ishmael.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be named Ishmael

It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking Ishmael.

>>9515485
alright, I chuckled

M̶o̶t̶h̶e̶r̶ Ishmael died today.

>>9510373
Call me CRASH

>>9510373
Humanity… All of my suffering on this world has been at the hands of humanity, particularly women.

>>9510432
This is really cringy

>>9510432
HOLY
O
L
Y

>>9514586
Don Ishmael de la Mancha

>Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Ishmael Buendía was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice.

WHATS UP EVERYBODY ITS TA BOY ISHMAEL HERE COMING AT YOU WITH ANOTHER SEA ADVENTURE!!!

Call me Ishmael

>>9510373
I scowl with frustration at myself in the mirror

>>9512170
Is this Queequeg?

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>OF Manf Firft Difobedience, and the Fruit
>Of that Forbidden Tree, who'fe mortal tafte
>Brought Death into the World, and all our woe,

What from?

CRASH, the golden retriever named ishmael screamed across the sky.

>>9511760
legitimately good

>>9510455
Although just now and then, in the depths of the night, I’ll think about barns burning to the ground

>>9510837

Aujourd'hui, Maman est morte. Ou peut-être hier, je ne sais pas.

>>9510373
there was only one enemy left, two if you count god

why the fuck is Ishmael a meme

>>9512170
You're sick.

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>>9510373
In the beginning,God created the heaven and the earth.
And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the deep. And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters.

>>9510373
Mother died last night.

>>9512170
HAHAHAAH
well memed sir *tips existential crisis*

(its a reference (reference) from LOO LEE TA

Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. My sin, my soul. Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta.

>>9517482
>"discover ice"
>not "score ice"
fug'd up

>>9512170
im literally dead anon you made my night

>>9515256
kek

>>9510445
it's always accurate.

"It was a pleasure to burn."

>>9514752
Ishmalysses

I have never enjoyed the works of Stephen King.
But the first line and last line of the Dark Tower series has always been strangely engrossing for me.
>The man in black fled across the desert, and the gunslinger followed.

>>9510455
Meet Mrs. Brundren, he says.
Hardest I've laughed at a novel in my life.

>>9510455
Old father, old artificer, stand me now and ever in good stead

>>9516951

mate it's pynchon
you should stick to your YA desu

They call me Ishmael

Record scratch. Freeze frame.

Hey, Ishmael here. I guess you're wondering how I got into this situation

>>9510377
It's "Call me Ishmael", fucktard.

Name's Ishmael, don't wear it out.

Niggers call me one-legged cracker-jacké with too much salt, and I say that my name, it's male!

In a hole in the ground there lived Ishmael.

>>9519606
whoosh