ZACHARY GERMAN NEW NOVEL

The only thing I'm interesting in is what is his real name? Zachary German? More like Zachary Shekelstein

>>9459366
oh this is just a sad viral marketing attempt by melville house, in that case i don't care at all about this fag, saged, hidden

I love when faggots like this turn 30

I want to wait five years until he has an ugly kid with a mediocre over-the-hill girl and then spy on him for a month and compare all his boring basic bitch dad behavior to his EPIC MEME PERSONALITY from his twenties

>Profession: "Erstwhile VICE Opinion Piece Writer"
>Fame Level: "Zilch"

>>9459379
Wow you seem jealous. You ok there little guy?

>>9459363
Standing on the dock in the afternoon rain, my dad says he’d rather I have a bad time fishing with my old man than a good time playing computer games.
He doesn’t say things like “Your old man” much, but sometimes he does. Or he’ll call me sport, or champ, mostly when I do something dumb. One time I light a whole book of matches on fire and throw it on the floor and stomp on it.


>light


jesus christ what a hack

>>9459463
Ummm...it's actually first-person present :)

Glad I could help!

>>9459466
>One time

so implied past for that sentence

>>9459477
I think its meant to be "quaint"

>>9459477
Wow, you must be new to literature!

And here was me thinking this was a literature forum :)

>>9459490
But I'm right, Zach

I'm going to pirate your books and not read them, Zach

kys zach

Zach pls go

complete non-entity

>>>/pol/

>>9459363
"Voice of a generation" authors are always shit, in every generation. Hard pass.

>>9459594
Not actually true. Kerouac, Mann, Fallada, Hemingway etc

All confirmed voices of their generation, each superior to anything you are capable of becoming.

>>9459607

>they're better than random anon

You're gonna have to try harder.

>>9459363
>Zachary German
>Is American
fucking D R O P P E D

Who the fuck is this guy, and why should I care about some New York hipster shit?

>>9459363
sounds like nothing worth paying attention to

Love the Anne Frank hairdo.

>>9459463
>>9459466
>>9459477
>>9459485
>>9459490
>>9459495

it was a quirky thing to do, but it was fine.

>>9461162
t. Zecker Grumben

I can't tell if this is this guy doing a shit job at viral marketing, this guy doing an ironically bad job at viral marketing, or someone else who hates this guy trying to make it seem like he's shilling

>>9461162
>your old man

>>9459363

The people who praise (and appraise) this kind of dude are the reason why we have no good novels. Sort of like when you're reading an article in the newspaper about millennials and how it always resorts to rampant cliches and mentions of social media use that bear literally no resemblance to how it works in the real world, normie or otherwise. I hate it. Can't we go back in time to 2005 when these hipsters were okay being self-obsessed musicians and not looking for a career writing books. The music was pretty good man. The writing is not.

File: bickeryspermin.png (100KB, 541x638px) Image search: [Google]

100KB, 541x638px

What am I reading, Zach? And why did you think coming to 4chan would help you with sales? We don't like anything this new on this forum.

Start with the Greeks, faggot.

>>9461316
Wow this is awful, Zach.

>>9459363
I'd rather read Tao Lin than you, you fucking douche.

You're a miserable writer. I have a novel coming out soon enough (at a better publishing house). Can't wait to meet you at some shitty party and call you faggot to your face.

Never post here again.

File: (You).gif (415KB, 480x238px) Image search: [Google]

415KB, 480x238px

>>9459363
>Why the f**k
>f**k

>>9459363
You're allowed to swear on the internet, Zack Attack

>>9461316
if it's supposed to be bad, and succeeds, is it good?

>>9461411
godspeed anon

>>9459363
Cannot believe you posted this here. Awful idea. Also, it's Denis (one s) Johnson, you asshole.

Everybody on Goodreads, give this kid's book one star. Same goes for amazon and such.

>>9461316

>Robert is in American Apparel.

IS THIS TAO LIN??

>more info in the OP than on his wikipedia page
>only result for that picture is from his publishers website and from someone connected to a magazine that published some of his stories

File: 1436229733187.jpg (54KB, 453x439px) Image search: [Google]

54KB, 453x439px

>>9461316
good christ

>>9461316

lol. Am I the only one who thinks this is an interesting device? It's a little too childish and there are a lot of weak spots (name-dropping American Apparel, for one) but it really underscores the complete banality of the situation.

>>9461501

>it's supposed to be boring!

No. This never works.

Bump for getting to the bottom of Tao Lin's crypto-identity

>>9459363
Finnegan's Wake

>>9461501
What device? Shopping?

I want to be Zach German's little tampon boy

>>9461508

Idiot. Not that it's boring, but that his name is repeated so often. If the sentences in the story were less dull it would be a interesting device. In your reply let me know why pseuds are so arrogant.

>>9461316
So to get published these days you have to write like a 6 year old

Except, as Nael proves, even 6 year olds are better writers than this

>>9461518
t.Zach

>>9461411
>You've attained the rare 1411 anti-dub
>Full of Kabbalistic magic
>1+1+1+(number of non-ones in final four digits)=4
>where non-one is equal to the entire sum, anti-dub attained
Now the Jewish magic forces your post not to be a lie. Either you spit on Zach German's face upon first meeting him in real life, or Jewry will haunt you 5ever. No immunities.

>>9461508
The Stranger started and finished that notion desu

>>9461618
How is that?

>>9461618

How do you tell if they're being boring on purpose, though? It seems like a retroactive defense for boring writers.

>>9461572
I'm fine with that. I'm open to suggestions for my visit/meet and greets.

I'll be there for a month when it comes out. Small readings, parties, shit like that. I'm sure I'll meet some people (most of whom I have no interest in meeting).

I was thinking about making a thread before the trip, just to see what people want me to say to certain people. I was hoping for some funny lines to dish to Tao. Not gonna shill my book here. I just want to do something fun for the anons here that have given me great reading recs over the past three years, some of which have absolutely influenced my work. I feel obligated to give back in some way, even if it's just telling Tao to go to bed, or calling this kid a fag. Down for anything I won't get arrested for.

>>9461695
just read that vice article on Zach, and apparently he just walks up to people he recognizes at those parties and tells them that he knows them and doesn't like them, so just do that to him, maybe in a more vulgar manner. dude seems like an asshole.

>>9461695
punch zachary's face, hard, then post pics

>>9461531
nael is the only writer nowadays i can call the voice of our generation

>>9461783
>>9461771

Like I said, I'm not trying to get arrested. But I'll do my best for both of these. Sounds like a massive asshole. I'll try to do something elaborate, too.

He has a Pepe posted on his Facebook (personal page).

No, I'm not going to give you a link.

>>9459363
Why the fuck do Chads have it so easy in literature? This fag writes like a 6 year old but gets away with it because he gets women wet. Fuck this, I'm out fuck like ahhhhhhhh

>>9461316
this reads like a stream of consciousness piece written by a fairly basic neural network.

>>9459363
he looks like jacqueline kennedy

Tao Lin has said of the book: "Moving, funny, emotional, and—in a revolutionary way—both highly readable and avant-garde, Eat When You Feel Sad excites me very much in terms of literature and also life itself.”

Man, Sean Goonan fucking wishes he could trigger /lit/ this much

>>9462046
Fuck off, German.

>>9459363
>ITT: One anon pretends to be a shitty author and baits the rest of the thread

>>9459363
Will I receive a personal boypussy photo from you if I buy your book?

>>9459363
he unfriended me on fb tho :(

>>9463053
Tao, go to bed