Limerick Thread

A wonderful bird is the pelican,
His bill can hold more than his beli-can.
He can take in his beak
Food enough for a week
But I’m damned if I see how the heli-can.
-Ogden Nash

>>9452463
anon lives in hell: rhymes with fortune
of sane detainees, there's no portion
despite his longing to leave,
to this slum must he cleave
o! my mom should've had an abortion

A strapping young nerd name of Hector
Was quite fond of the launcher-erector
The squishes and pops
Of acute pressure drops
Wrecked Hector's hydraulic connector

>>9453117
retard-tier
>>9452480
excellent

>>9453117

Is English your second language? You don't seem to understand meter at all.

>>9452463
Han's pussy was tight.
Pat was feeling alright.
Please, will you use oil?
With my virginity you will spoil.
Alas, she was handed a pillow to bite.

>>9453130
>>9453124
i speak a couple of languages but english is my first. opie said he wanted an attempt; i make no claims to poetic greatness. see if this is better:

a place filled with pretense was /lit/
they posted memes, aped opinions—not wit
and i will bet my left cheek
they don't know ancient greek
yet still have the nerve to cry: "shit taste desu senpai"

>>9453146
That was a cue not to post again, not embarrass yourself further.

>>9452463
There once was a man named McSweeney
Who spilled some gin on his weenie.
Not to be couth
He added vermouth
And slipped his girlfriend a martini.

There once was a /lit/-browsing pseud
Who, caught in a lip-biting mood,
First perused /e/
Then settled in /d/
To satisfy cravings termed lewd.

>>9453168
>embarrass
>anonymous
wow, you sure penetrated me with your keen judgments. not sure how i'll live this one down.

>>9453182
I believe it.

There once was a faggot named OP
Who posted some threads that were dopey
Like this one so gay
That we all should sage
Sorry for my misanthropy

Your scent is not satisfactory
It offends the senses olfactory
It's so bad I can tell
from nothing more than the smell
Help I'm trapped in a limerick factory

>>9453174

p. good 2bh

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>no Edward Gorey, Ogdred Weary, Raddory Gewe, Dogear Wryde or D.-Awdrey Gore

There was a young woman named Plunnery
Who rejoiced in the practice of gunnery,
Till one day unobservant,
She blew up a servant,
And was forced to retire to a nunnery

>>9453202
Reddit-tier

An old German thinker named Arthur
Found fame as a Brahmanist LARPer
His theory posited
That life's best acquitted
Though he held on tight 'til he faltered.

There is a man with a large nose
Who is loathed wherever he goes
Armed with shekels and bombs
He joins both his palms
And blames everyone else for his woes

>>9453341

There once was a man name of Polack,
Who never shut up about Jews.

a horny young lad from aberystwyth
sought out a sadist to tryst with
he'll always remember
when she cut off his member
coz now he's got nothin to piss with

>>9453333
>His theory posited
>That life's best acquitted
This just doesn't work at all.

>>9453474

It's a limerick, not a eulogy. Play with the stress a little. But I would change "though" to "yet".

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there once was a boy who was stressed
by the search for an almighty text
so he asked on /lit/
expected just shit
but instead found my diary desu