Was Rosie the Shire's tavern slut? Samwise got cucked?

All hobbit women are dirty little whores. Tolkien even said so numerous times in interviews and it was his last words as he died "Rosie cucked Sam"

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>>9444948
I don't think it was technically cuckoldry, since the marriage was a sham to convince the Gaffer that Sam wasn't actually in mad love with Frodo. The sticking of the finger in the ring and then becoming invisible... not very subtle.

>>9444948
Is there something wrong with being a slut? Is only one gender allowed to self-actualize?

OP is a permacuck with a smaller-than-hobbit-sized weewee. Fascists btfo.

>>9444986
>OP is a permacuck with a smaller-than-hobbit-sized weewee
Guilty as charged. How did you know?

>>9444986
Your post. This one. >>9444948

>>9444948
Leave and never come back here

wow I didn't realise /lit/ was so cucked

but i will take it upon myself to answer my own question. Rosie is a barmaid, and she's got her eyes on Sam but Sam goes away. The ruffians (men) come to town and they're twice the size of hobbits. No doubt Rosie fell for the BMC meme (big man cock), smaller girls love bigger guys. Sam comes back and Rosie confesses that 'she thought he was dead', as if to rationalise why she fucked all those ruffians. Also Rosie only marries Sam once Sam comes back as a legendary hero and is wealthy.

>>9445194
Hahaha I laughed a lot at this

>>9445194
So is the best course of action to be Frodo, and never marry?

>>9445274
Yes and frodo got to go the land of immortality where he could fuck elven bitches for eternity. with gandalf, gimli, elrond, and legolas as his eternal friends

meanwhile Sam gets a slut wife and dies within a few decades with some children who may or may not actually be his

>>9445284
I imagine those elven women are very fair and tall, they must be teasing Frodo and laughing at his little hardon, bringing him constantly to the edge, but never letting him release himself by restraining him with their long elven hands, let him cool down, then again working him up, cool down, to the edge ad infinitum until Frodo is mad with frustration and lusty desire....

>>9444986
Cant believe people still bait with this

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>>9445475

What the fuck

>>9445475
>hobbit/elf femdom
H O T

>>9445284
>tfw your children are unexpectedly big
>tfw your children don't have hairy feet

>>9445194
this
Hobbit manlets will never learn

>>9444948
I could imagine Hobbit vaGINA is just a mud hole full of grass weed and hairy feet and it stink like MILDEW STRAW HORSES

what the fuck is this thread about what the fuck it was just about fantasy adventure nobody has a penis or pussy in the shire or middle earth or mordor what the fuck theyre all ill equipped like a ken doll this is fantasy not real life dont get your sex stuck in my fantasy please thank you FAGGOT

>>9445284
I thought Frodo just gets to check out the undying lands like a tourist, but doesn't actually become immortal since he's not an elf.

>>9444986
>Is only one gender allowed to self-actualize?

This is an unwarranted assumption. The sort of people who believe that it's wrong to be a slut are more likely to believe it's wrong for both genders. You're inventing sexist motives for other people views.

>>9444986
gonna have to remember that one next time i catch my gf sucking cock under the table at Abyss. "You filthy Self-actualizer!"

>>9444986
go back to r*ddit

>>9445194
"Rosie, how is it our first son is twice as tall as I am, and he's only three years old? Also his hair is black. And so is his skin."

>>9445475
>I imagine those elven women are very fair and tall, they must be teasing Frodo and laughing at his little hardon,


"Do you like what you doth see . . . ?" said the voluptuous elf-maiden as she provocatively parted the folds of her robe to reveal the rounded, shadowy glories within. Frito's throat was dry, though his head reeled with desire and ale.

She slipped off the flimsy garment and strode toward the fascinated boggie unashamed of her nakedness. She ran a perfect hand along his hairy toes, and he helplessly watched them curl with the fierce insistent wanting of her.

"Let me make thee more comfortable," she whispered hoarsely, fiddling with the clasps of his jerkin, loosening his sword belt with a laugh. "Touch me, oh _touch me_," she crooned.

Frito's hand, as though of its own will, reached out and traced the delicate swelling of her elf-breast, while the other slowly crept around her tiny, flawless waist, crushing her to his barrel chest.

"Toes, I _love_ hairy toes," she moaned, forcing him down on the silvered carpet. Her tiny, pink toes caressed the luxuriant fur of his instep while Frito's nose sought out the warmth of her precious elf-navel.

"But I'm so small and hairy, and . . . and you're so _beautiful_," Frito whimpered, slipping clumsily out of his crossed garters.

The elf-maiden said nothing, but only sighed deep in her throat and held him more firmly to her faunlike body. "There is one thing you must do for me first," she whispered into one tufted ear.

"Anything," sobbed Frito, growing frantic with his need. "Anything!"

She closed her eyes and then opened them to the ceiling. "The Ring," she said. "I must have your Ring."
Frito's whole body tensed. "Oh no," he cried, not that! Anything but . . . that."
"I must have it," she said both tenderly and fiercely. "I must have the _Ring!_"

Frito's eyes blurred with tears and confusion. "I can't," he said. "I mustn't!"

But he knew resolve was no longer strong in him. Slowly, the elfmaiden's hand inched toward the chain in his vest pocket, closer and closer it came to the Ring Frito had guarded so faithfully . . .

- bored of the rings

>>9445957

Stop with the fucking Reddit spacing. You don't need line break after every god damn sentence. Sometimes it's best to let them run after each other and forms thing called paragraphs.

>>9444948
hey have you ever thought to think before you post something retarded

>>9445970
i copy-pasted that directly out of the pdf, you etiolated cockmunch. someone who is so quick to accuse an anon of being reddit is probably a pleb-tier redditor himself.

>>9445970
>Stop with the fucking Reddit spacing.
Jesus, dude, you don't know how stupid this makes you sound. It isn't even a Reddit thing, but for some reason, newfriends seem to be pushing this silly little meme. Why would you let tepid 4chan memes contort your opinions so much

>>9446147
>pdf
the desire to know

>>9445284
Sam goes there to die