Review a non-existing book

>>9436370
I imagine /lit/ will be pretty good at this since most posters here talk about books that they haven't actually read.

>>9436370
Color Garden (2013)

Mavis Goodhew's tragic retelling of six American classics in Chicago's Sherman Park illuminate the desperation and isolation of urban life, and lay bare the veins of the mid-western heart. 21st century negroes and whites share her scorn, condemned but not accused. Her prose reminds us how far our laws have come, and how far we have to go.

"FREE MUMIA" - anonymous

"If if if if if if" - President Barack Obama

>>9436374
kek

The Wooden Nickel, By R.R.Harrington. An old man visits an arcade he frequented in his youth only to discover that it never existed. This leads him on a journey of self discovery as he unravels his entire life history that did not happen in reality. Set in near future, the Protagonist, Oliver Manetta struggles to make sense of his world of false memories and people he never really new. The shocking discoveries and unfathomable despair grow with ever page. When you finish this book you will either put I in a recycling bin or ater your entire life to avoid remembering things wrong. Much like the experience of Oliver, either way, true or false, it wont matter. He murders a guy in chapter 9. Spoiler alert. Oh sorry. Anyway. I give it 2 out of an undefined number of stars.

Space Sasquatch by TJ Summers is a new work from the author of Space Chupacabra, and Space Moth Man. Summers takes us on an excellent adventure from the perspective of a race of Sasquatch aliens from space who come to earth to rake earth women as brides and create a new race of half human, half sasquatch slaves. The men of earth must quickly adapt Sasquatch technology to wage war and save every attractive human female between the ages of 16 and 24 before they are all taken up to the Sasquach mother ship and impregnated in extremely violent and graphic detail, repeatedly and well past any standard of decency and mental well being. Will they stop the Sasquatch Rape Squads from stealing all the good female before its too late? Will Neil Tyson learn to fly the Sasquatch space fighter and save Roxanna Fuentes, his true love from The evil Sasquatch King Din'aah'ak? Will the scrawny nerd genius with an extraordinarily oversized manhood, Blake Megaslonger set the world record for saving young female from the Sasquatch horde and end up with a personal harem of 69 of Earths best most buxom beauties ready to repopulate the Earth. The answer to all these questions is Yes. Read this book before its too late!

>>9436370

Man of the Year, by Tim Eckleston (2005)

Eckleston is an author's author, in the best and the worst possible ways, a reputation sure to be further burnished by his latest offering, a convoluted yet plot-inconsequential reimagining of the choose-your-own-adventure books of the '80s for readers of those tales who got a degree in postmodern lit and 'grew up' (?). The main character, Heron Mainguy (get it? It's like Hiro Protagonist; ostensible thanks, Neal Stephenson), does everything and nothing while battling identity theft and under-payment of royalties (he's a writer, naturally), gradually concocting a dubious scheme to turn his adversaries against each other. Also, in a doubly meta detail, the book is printed in a reflective ink that invites the reader to see hirself in the story and to discourage ebook piracy.

The Rape of Amelia Earhart, by Jessica Godson. This new work by acclaimed and mostly discredited historic investigator Jessica Godson posits the new theory based on decades of research into the question, Was Amelia Earhart raped mid flight over the Pacific Ocean causing her to crash near a remote and undiscovered island and raise several generation of children with her rapist who also survived the crash and eventually reconciled with his victim? New, startling Google Earth images as well as the ramblings of a drunk millionaire yacht owner form the core research that takes the reader on a fairly incomprehensible line of reasoning and speculation. Ultimately we don't know for sure but Godson raises the question that decades of scholars have refused to address out of concern for their academic credibility. This book, and all copies has been destroyed by the Publisher.

>>9436370

Borges did it best, which Lem all-but-acknowledges in the first sentence of A Perfect Vacuum

>Invagination by C. Patricia Singh-Goldberg (2017)

The only reason I ever got around to reading this was because I saw it on my favorite, general purpose DDL piracy site, and /lit/ would not shut the fuck up about it. The cover art - a crayon drawing of a screaming, obese man trapped in a uterus - was an interesting marketing decision, but ultimately irrelevant since it will just get replaced once it ends up in every classroom in America.

The book centers on college-grad Claire and her aimless journey through life. I can't call her much of a character since she never does anything or makes any real decisions for herself. The only plot events of any importance precipitate due to the actions of other characters; antagonists are dealt with via acts of God, and character conflicts are wrapped up in last-second rationalizations. It's a miserable book, not because of the mood but because of the pettiness of the author. The narrative voice is venomous at times, forcing the audience wonder whether or not the secondary and tertiary characters are merely facsimiles of people the author knows in real life.

In spite of its frustrating characters, the novel shines through in a few key scenes where the author is unintentionally honest with the audience. The reverse-incest scene is a wonder to behold for all the wrong reasons, and the racist tirades by two of the novel's minor antagonists - Huck and Caldwell - felt unusually refreshing.

Still, these flakes of gold aren't enough to warrant breaking open this turd of a book. If you're a complete fag, you'll probably like this book, otherwise you can safely give it a hard pass.

>LeSadFrog.jpg

Non of the threads I like and contribute to ever take off.

>>9436839

Your taste is too good. With the exception of the frog reference

The book I am about to write is really amazing. I let you check out the frist draft when I finish it.

>>9436370
>The book contains reviews of 16 imaginary books and one real book: itself.
But that's not true. Instead of a review it contains a review of a (nonexistent) review of itself.

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>>9436519
came here to say this

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>>9436370
Una Padra by Uliteccio Betrocilli (1373)

The story is about a guy which owns a medieval antique store. He often meets people and helps them with their lives. One of the funnier stories is when one knight has a problem with the the butler, and the butler must help him in daily chores. Also it is very suprising how modern it is, cause there are still antique stores today, and the stories are sometimes even surreal. Surely the Uliteccio was ahead of his time, and it is a miracle that that this work survived till today, as it was banished by church as it is not about god and church is being criticised as a worthless and fake organization.
Basically, a book about nothing.

>>9436370
The Slow Revolution, by Frank Herbert

sequel to The Dosadi Experiment. McKie/Jedrik is on the run from the remnants of the shadow government which has been torn apart by the strife caused by the release of the Dosadi, whose brutal and direct ways have overturned conventional society in every sphere. the only thing that keeps him alive is his friendship with Fanny Mae, who moves him to a new world every half an hour, just ahead of Tria's forces..

>>9437725
Many Dosadi sank into the realtively soft worlds of the Consentiency and lost their edge, but some, believing the soft life to be a kind of trap, gravitated towards extremes - worlds where life could only survive at great cost, requiring superhuman effort to survive, and it is these fringe extreme groups that Mckie/Jedrik went to..

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>>9437655

>tfw feminists have banned the Crimean slave trade

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>>9437875
you can still order wife off dark net and it is not very expensive in comparision to getting into bad relationship and paying alimony

>>9436437
This sounds like something David Markson would write.

>>9436370
Nazi Literature in the Americas by Roberto Bolaño does this and is pretty good.