Prom Poem

>>9391404
Here's the poem.

Painted in the field of endless green
Rooted in an aura of brilliant hue
Of glimmer and light, flourished with life
May you glimmer and shine through endless time

>>9391407
It's shit, use this one instead

Ey girl won't you be my sunflower
Take yo' petals wrap around my cum tower
Shake dat azz, show me yo buns flower
At the prom with me, we can have fun flower

then you break it down just shouting IT AIN'T NO HASSLE I'LL LICK YOUR ASSHOLE over and over

>>9391407
first 2 lines are shit but she wouldn't know anyway so why waste more time trying to write something better that won't be appreciated

>>9391407

Had a good cringe at this 2bh. Bad art is always disagreeable, but there's something especially awful about bad poetry.

Here's a pome.

There once was a poor little girl.
She had neither mother nor father.
All was dead on earth and earth was empty.
All was dead and she walked the earth and cried day and night.
And as earth was empty, she wanted to go to heaven, and the moon shone.
And as she arrived at the moon, she saw that the moon was a rotten piece of wood.
And she went to the sun and saw the sun, but the sun was a dead sunflower.
And she went to the stars, but the stars were dead golden gnats with nails through their bellies.
And she went back to earth and saw the earth was a toppled haven.
She sat down on a rock.

>>9391428
Elaborate on why it's bad?

>>9391404
Roses are red

Sunflowers are not

Will you be my prom date

I have a knife. I'm not fucking kidding Debbie get in the goddamn car

>>9391434
It's just empty, over-flowery (hurr) description. The message is trite and boring. You're not really communicating anything personal or unique to your relationship, merely showing yourself to be unimaginative and not even thinking of her. What you need to do is write something with a heavy bassline and backing dancers, something about how much you want to suck on her toes, how you want to take her to the garden of unearthly delights as you drown between her thighs.

>>9391404
Untitled Piece 57

For My Eternal Love

Your butthole is like a sunflower
Its gentle rays extending
Hidden in fleshy hills
Like your heart is hidden
Beneath your bountiful breasts
Born from the Earth
Your sunflower shall return
Dust to dust
Asses to to asses
Let us consummate our passion
On the edge of Niagara Falls

~fin~

Then include a short, simple note asking her to prom. Present this in neatly lettered handwritten script written on standard printing paper in an unmarked business envelope with a single sunflower.
If she asks about the paper and envelope, tell her you were seized by inspiration and couldn't wait to get better materials, you hope she'll forgive you.

>>9391465
I'm really quite bad at constructing poetry. I do, however, like
"Roses are red
Sunflowers are not
Will you be my prom date
That would be hot "

I'll probably just end up doing that.

>>9391471
Much better

>>9391471
Yes, that's a fantastic way to show her how you like ripping off other people's jokes in place of having your own sense of humour.