Write what's on your mind

i watched that film a couple of days ago.

i've never watched that film but i don't give a shit

I'm learning Japanese and just mastered hiragana and katakana, but I have no clue where to go from here. Wish I had some sort of japanese guide. I'm committed to it, nonetheless

>>9351317

As far as asian languages go, is the literature worth it?

>>9351301
it's a good film

>>9351332
In my opinion.
Chinese, from a literary perspective, is likely the most valuable.
Japanese is better for poets, I believe.

Takes a lot of time though.

>>9351265
i'm fucking obssessed with Georges Bataille and I don't find neither his influences or the people he influenced nearly as interesting, although i've read as much Bataille as i've read Nietzsche

Ran and Throne of Blood are the two greatest adaptations of Shakespeare's work.

Also, I had a very disconcerting, maybe most straightforward dream of my life where I was driving in a car with my father. He goes into the T of city street, it looks as though he's not turning, but I am assured in the capability of my fathers' driving. I look away. I look back. We're a car length in front of the wall, haven't slowed down a bit. I yell "Dad" and try to turn the wheel and he's sort of shocked out of whatever fugue state he's in. We crash and I see teeth and blood spilling out of his mouth, in the same state as before the crash. And I'm screaming for him not to fall asleep and to squeeze my hand. I go to grab his phone to call an ambulance, which had just been ringing and see a missed call from my mother.

>>9351332
not him but japanese is. and chinese as well even tho they mean something quite different by the word literature.

>>9351336
chinese poetry cant be topped.

>want to learn weab
>can't because it requires intensive training by other speakers
>stuck with English, Spanish, and German

o-okay

I'm trying to convince my girlfriend and mistress to co sign a lease with me but they aren't getting along. i'm worried this will cause problems down the road

>>9351356
Recommended Chinese poetry? I know basic Chinese currently, but am trying to learn more.

uhh i need some books to convince me to stop wanting to kill myself

also I hope I drink with my friends tonight or buy some weed, but most likely neither of those things are gonna happen

>>9351383
Buying some weed is pretty easy senpai

>>9351399
>social skills

might as well tell the fish that it is easy to fly. just look at the birds!

>>9351399
I just don't know if my usual dealer will be good, he's some frat dude and he's never consistently good

I never named my cat, I just call her 'the cat'.

>>9351412
Lay off the french new wave kid.

>>9351425
The what?

I love my friend, and i want to kiss her

>>9351383
maybe you should trust your instincts. there are 7 billion people on the planet and as a general trend life only gets harder as you go on. we're moving into a time when most people would come to accept what you did even if they can't empathize with it.

Things probably aren't as good, or as bad as they seem. Probably.

>>9351435
I haven't really done anything wrong.

I've been dating my gf for almost a year now and I love her so much and I want to ask her to marry me but I'm also pretty scared ya know

It's not like there's a rush I just think it would be a nice affirmation of our looooooove~

>>9351440
Have you done anything at all?

If someone teleported me I'd first kill them then myself.

I want to do something sexually deviant tonight. No fap/no porn is destroying me. I fear what will happen if I go drinking with my friends tonight. I told a girl from work I take photos as a hobby and she wants me to take some "model photos" of her tomorrow. I probably need to get off 4chan.

>>9351440
no you misunderstand. I'm advising you to kill yourself if you think that's the best move for you. I'm telling you your loved ones will get over it.

>>9351265
One time I made a critique thread where I pasted an excerpt from "The Sound and the Fury" and claimed it was from my novel, "The Noise and the Anger". Everyone told me to use better punctuation, and I was banned for a month.

>>9351440
if you are truly, fully unable to live an even slightly happy regardless of your current circumstances, then a painless suicide may prove to be the best answer, anon

>>9351446
Nothing worth substance, although I used to help students with learning disabilities

>>9351454
oh, yeah
I don't like the idea of my parents thinking they were bad parents if I did do it, and I'm not sure how fast they'll actually get over it, since my brother is on expired time too.

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>>9351447

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>>9351459

I'm lapsed but I've nevertheless gone all of Lent without eating meat on a Friday. I was craving a burger as I made this realization. I'm trying to decide whether I should break that tonight.

>>9351265
How do I talk to people about their feelings without it being weird? I come from a culture where you just do not fucking talk about how you feel. It's not a thing that's brought up. I'm enough of a fag that I've explored my own feelings about our situation enough to be content and confident with it. But I want to help other people around me deal with the same shit. I just know that they either will think that I'm being weird like I want something from them or they won't believe that I actually care or something. Shit's hard. I don't know what to do.

>>9351513
get drunk

i'm so fuckin bored that i dont even want to die

To write clearly you need a brain capable of organised thinking, and my brain is all over the shop. I'll never become a good writer or speaker because i can barely function on a basic word-retrieval level - I'm always oveerthinking what I'm going to write or say to the point that I forgot simple words. Just reading cogent posts in this thread is enough to depress me.

I wonder if some shit will go down when Pope Francis visits Fatima this May. It's 100 years since the apparitions, after all.

>>9351510
cmon man its so easy to not eat meat for one day a week
if you're craving a burger have a fillet o fish or something

>>9351534
Can you expound on this, friend?

>>9351598
I know it's easy but I'm also not practicing. Now that I've made it this far (unintentionally at first) I have the desire to continue, but based on a sense of momentum rather than piety. But I also have the desire to eat some meat. Obviously piety surpasses a culinary craving, but does momentum?

>>9351344
But then who was phone????

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>>9351606
Well, you know, Fatima. Our Lady of Fatima, when the Virgin Mary miraculously appeared to three kids in Portugal. She gave them visions and told them secrets, and capped it all off with the Miracle of the Sun.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Our_Lady_of_F%C3%A1tima

The apparitions are 100 years old this year. Pope Francis is scheduled to visit Fatima in May. May in the West has been devoted to mothers for a long time, hence why Mother's Day is in May. And it's also particularly devoted to Mary.

I'm a devout Catholic. I won't say I completely expect something to happen, but if it does I wouldn't be surprised.

In my head, I developed a proof of cognitivism but I am too inept to convey it to others in a way that can be understood. I think one of the problems is that natural languages are too fuzzy and this proof requires really precise references but nevertheless is too complex to be expressed in mathematical formula, especially for somebody who is as lazy as I am. I also thought about not having any motivation to earn more money right now. Except for food, water and electricity, I really don't need anything anymore.

>>9351382
300 tang poems.

>>9351651
you mean this?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CqjWYpmI1Es

>>9351317
Find the daily japanese thread aka /djt/. They used to be on /a/ but I think they migrated to /int/ or something. Good thread but you will realize that kana is just the beginning and you're in for one hell of a ride.

>>9351715
Yeah, that's the scene they're trying to film.

>>9351638
yeah dude
just dont eat meat today
its that simple

>>9351812
Ended up getting pizza anyway

Tired of the anxiety

>>9351332

I think so, but I'm not good enough to sit and read novels though. I stick to short stories.

I grew a goatee and it's the first time in 25 years that I don't hate my own face.

>>9351291
whats it called?

>>9352139
star wars

>>9352166
please

just wanna jerk off into oblivion

The source of my anxiety is my tendency to get stuck with circular thoughts.

I watched that film just yesterday because I have a recent interest in Japanese film
anyone seen Harakiri?

>>9352226
Samurai Shampoo

>>9351291
>>9352139
Tbh the anime is just as good or better, you should check it out.

>>9352298
ty for the laugh, genuinely

>>9352247
no but it's Kobayashi so I can safely say it is good. My uni gives us free access to some online film collection and I've been meaning to watch it.

>>9352139
seven samurai by Kurosawa

>>9352386
thank you

>>9352391
No problem, man. It's a movie that in my opinion you only need to watch once in a great while. It's three hours long, and because of its great influence the plot has become so commonplace that it is almost boring. The cinematography is great, and Toshiro Mifune and Takashi Shimura put one some good performances. If you would like a more exciting Kurosawa movie, The Hidden Fortress is also very good. I would recommend Throne Of Blood, which is one of my favorite films, but that would be a bit hypocritical to my aforementioned gripe because it's an adaptation of Macbeth.

The process of labor freedom consists in the workers possessing the product of their labor and enjoying it. The natural tendency existing counter to this process in late capitalism is the "service industry." It solves the problem of labor attempting its own freedom from the state in two ways: firstly, it negates tangible production, and secondly, it redirects servile enmity. In so called "industrial nations" the majority of goods and commodities produced are tangible. Chinese producers flood the steel market at the behest of the state. In situations like this, the matter would proceed thus: the workers possess the steel (i.e. hold it to ransom from the proprietor), the workers attempt to sell the steel and distribute the proceeds, the workers are crushed by the (in this case Chinese) state with the help of those other state-industry complexes dependent on Chinese steel exports. Although actually possession seems a necessarily dire circumstance it is, in the context of tangible production, possible, and theory turns to insurrectionary logistics. In the case of the service industry, the workers by definition cannot possess the product of their labor. Take the case of the fast-food conglomerate's lowest employee, the fry cook. What product of their labor would they regard as theirs? Would they appropriate the uncooked half-meat patty substitutes, frozen in stacks? Perhaps the boxes of frozen french-fries stuck fast to themselves in bundles mocking the emblem of fascism? Even if they could reliably appropriate the most (but by no means actually) tangible product of their labor, currency, they would find at their disposal nothing but register cash-on-hand: that meager portion of the financial outcomes that hasn't yet been carted away to be assimilated into total corporate earnings. In other instances the products are yet less corporeal: day-cares (of all varieties), schools, law offices, repair shops, even grocery stores are all mere distributors of one form or another (though at least pilfering of the medical profession may afford a handful of addicts some comfort). At every turn, the worker is confronted by his alienation from his livelihood, thus himself, and is compensated with a fistful of paper. Servants of the state know exactly how worthless this paper is: the service industry workers who attempt to appropriate the product of their labor will find themselves grasping air while staring down gun barrels. "Indeed," preen the statists, "go ahead and try. The vacancies left by you criminals will be filled, and drive down unemployment."

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>>9352553
And, predictably, this sentiment is hurrahed by the idiot majority, which demonstrates the second aspect of mental manipulation into slavery particular to the service industry. The service worker is doubly enslaved, and must serve two masters: "the customer is always right." When e.g. a cashier at a Burger King drive-through is told "I want my burger medium well," they are bound by legal stipulations to order for the customer a nevertheless well-done burger. When said customer foreseeably explodes into an indignant fury, it is the cashier who must, smilingly and unflinchingly, take the abuse. The boss or manager may then come along afterward and say, "Better luck next time." In this way, the rage elicited by the psychological toll of absolute servility is transferred seamlessly from the proprietor to the customer (who is likely also a service worker in the "developed" world). Whoever has worked service knows how malicious and loud the laughter is once the customer is out of earshot. The solution for the service worker, though in different circumstances, is the same horrifying solution that confronts all persons alienated from their labor: a drive toward self-sufficiency, as nearly as it can be attained. If the slightest breath on the web of world production may rile the venomous and stealthy state spider, one must simply leave off relying on its scraps. This is much more easily said than done, which brings us to how best to acquire land. But that is a separate matter.

>>9351337
Cliff pls go

Tormenting Yojimbo right now boys, looking forward to it

>>9352600
>Tormenting Yojimbo right now boys

Where is this bodyguard you're torturing and are you planning to film it?

>>9352605
fuck
I meant torrenting

>>9352607
'twas merely in jest gentle simpleton

if you like the comedic aspects of Yojimbo (what few there are) check out Seijun Suzuki, specifically Youth of the Beast, Tokyo Drifter, and Branded to Kill.

>>9352600
The shots in that movie are fucking amazing. I love the influence Kurosawa had on the western genre, it's very fascinating.

>>9351265

I wish i could play the piano

A friend of mine just told me that he is planning to do karaoke at the bar he works at tonight, and for whatever reason i found considering that to be a rather strikingly emotional experience. I find that there is a great emotional power in the love of friendship, on a level that is very difficult to parse through. Regardless, it's obvious that our friendships are some of the most important aspects of our lives. It's funny for me to say this, because I am not the most social creature you will meet, and in fact spend most of my time alone. However, it's clear that the people who I have managed to keep close to me really provide most of the meaning in my life, without providing the structure.

>>9352722
homo

I just read the stranger by camus and I don't know what all the hubbub is about

Now I find myself stripping every notion of wavering bias: plucking threads of thought down to their essence, asking the only question which matters to begin an attempt at honest deliberation: what is the hard facts which are known and would be difficult to repute? This milieu of thought keeps subjectivity and personal bias in view, but also brings on a sluggish mental state wherein the idle freedom remembered as youthful naivete is abandoned: replaced by disciplined thought conditioned for survival and to reduce future humiliation, ill-judgement, and pain.

>>9352758
The method that I find to have the most utility and also enjoyement is to strip questions down to their most abstract terms, but then proceed to answer those questions with full impunity, applying mathematics, science, art, history, politic, and philosophy in order to construct a coherent theory.

>>9352777
Mine is really based on the moral humanistic value of the question at hand. Whether something is authentic and 'good' or 'useful' but really this is an automatic function I've trained myself into, leading to me pondering the quality of Cheetoh crisps as if its very existence prompted close examination: it gets tiring, in a funny way.

>>9352790
Oh I thought you meant in regards to the 'big' questions. Luckily, I have a flippancy in most aspects of life, but unfortunately, it is hard to shake and it is only recently that I can find myself giving due dilligence to the questions that deserve to adsorb my time.

Have you tried writing, and applying your seeming defect of thought into a tool into an analytic process that could produce insight?

>>9352803
Writing is like hitting a snowball soaring through the air with a baseball bat: in this analogy the snowball is whatever idea I'm currently toying with and the bat is me sitting my butt down to write. When the bat hits the snowball its just fun watching the unique once-in-a-million way that snowball explodes against the wood: the joy of this analogy is that unexpected things could fly out of the snowball: like blood, or money, or an eldritch abomination. Swinging the bat and taking the hit is just half the fun.

I apologise if I sound like an autist. I haven't slept.

I regret breaking up with my girlfriend.

She was so sweet, and smart, and cared about me as the central figure in her life. She was so beautiful.

She was also depressed. Being around other people would make her so frantic and scared. She would look at me with those tired, brown eyes, always tired, and ask me with that little anxious, voice if we could go home and I would say of course and we would lie down and I would tell her she would be okay and I don't know if she believed but she loved me for being there for her regardless.

We never fought. She was so kind to me. She cared. I wanted to protect her. She didn't care about getting married and didn't want kids, what she wanted most was to be a housewife. She would cook and clean for me. She was strong in intellect but loved being submissive to me. I don't know how many times I came inside her while she called me daddy in that sweet southern voice of hers.

How the fuck could I lose interest in her? Why did I leave her for someone else. I feel like I don't know how to love someone else for more than a couple months before getting bored. God fucking damn it.

>>9351265
Moving in just 2 days. I have some spending money. Got drunk last night. Good resumes should get me a job before long. Will be paying my own bills soon enough. Will be back on my feet. Will continue writing. Will continue to make more money from said writing. Life is great even though right now I'm technically homeless.

>>9351444
>almost a year
That's no time at all. Slow down a little.

I'll just copy and paste what just wrote in an another thread.

>read every day; finished Crime and Punishment yesterday, now reading Vita Activa by Arendt and a book about philosophy of science
>be an "exceptionally good" writer, have written two novellas
>lift five times a week, focusing both on strength and aesthetics; be stronger than 95% of people my weight, and not bad looking
>pray, meditate and read the Bible daily
>sing well
>no-fap, no porn and no premarital sex
>be thrifty and prudent; own 9000 euros + about 3000 euros of receivable debt, and a newish car
>do well in uni, be respected among peers
>have a job for the summer, and most likely for the summers to come as well, and do volunteer work, too
>be considered funny, and an interesting conversationalist
>be confident, but not arrogant: know when you are good at something, but always acknowledge your shortcomings, which there still are plenty of
>have clear plans for the future and move towards my goals steadily
>always seek to improve yourself in every way
>still no gf, because women are so basic

Is it really too much to ask to find a girl, who has the same attitude towards life as I do? We have duties towards God, our country, the people around us, our ancestors and our future descendants, and I seek to fulfill these duties the best I can. I want to become the absolute best man I can be, but I'm yet to meet a girl who wants to become the best woman. I just want someone to walk this road with, but even the Christian women I meet tend to be pretty vapid and average. I know girls, who would undoubtedly become my gf if I asked them to, but none of them are of adequate "quality" for me.

>tfw no muse, who would become the mother of my children

>>9351672
Sure you did, anon, sure you did. You're probably.. a genius or something.

>>9352247
harakiri is kino

8th of April, 2017:
It's too dull to cut properly now. It's akin to cutting steak with a butter knife. It tastes good though. I think about her sometimes.

>>9352247

It's fantastic, probably one the best movies I've seen.

>>9353308

>thinks 9000 euro isn't poverty tier
>incapable of having fun, ascetic to the point of acedia, not realizing this is an affront to God
>blind to the intensity of fedora-tipping in his view of women

Hue.

i think jordan petersons "self-help" stuff is actually pretty good and at the same time people should avoid his political bullshit.

>>9351531
same. i'm sorry, anon. i know it sucks big time. sometimes it gets so bad that i nearly blow my brain off.

Time to take a break from this board again.

>>9353476
t. offended tumblrina

I meeting up at the movies with this QT later who is six years older than me (she's 29), we've been chatting for a few days now and seem to really get along. But it's really hard to tell if we're flirting with each other or if she's just really friendly. We've really hit it off a few night ago at a bar with some friends, but she was kind of buzzed, so I don't know if I'm just imagining things.
My life's been getting a lot better lately, would be nice if this fling should also work out.
Going for a run now to get that self-esteem/dopamine boost I usually get after a long run, hopefully I won't sperg out like I sometimes tend to do.

>>9352418
it aint boring. if you compare it with the american movies it influenced it might seem so because it lacks what americans added, which is junk, but that movie is a masterpiece that is anything but boring. theres a thousand details you are not yet aware of.

high and low is another great one.

About a week ago I found myself in a town I had never visited before. Exploring the main street I chanced upon a small book store and, noticing that they had a special offer available on 'classics', decided to take a look inside.

The selection of books was quite modest to say the least. I had read or owned most of the books and was only interested in one, Thucydides. To take advantage of the offer I had to purchase two books from the selection and it was an offer I thought worth taking advantage of. After several minutes considering my options I decided on a Nietzsche I had not read.

Upon paying for my books and starting to leave I was greeted by a man, likely the owner, at the door. He asked me what books I had selected. I replied that I had selected History of the Peloponnesian War and Thus Spoke Zarathustra. He laughed and told me to have a nice day. I said nothing and went on my way.

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>>9352553
>>9352559
Ive always wondered how the service industry could be examined through the classical marxist framework exactly because their product its not tangible, very eloquently put, thank you

This is on my mind

http://the-hegelian-milk-bar-is-too-well-decorated.site123.me/blog/bunburyist-manifesto?onlyContent=1

>>9353566
Is there a reference in here I'm not getting?

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I had forgotten how well salted peanuts go with ice cream.
This is the only thread on /lit/ I read most days.
I'm also having coffee and a pear. My taste buds are happy.

>>9353451
9000 euros is not poverty tier to a student. Some of my friends have 5 euros in their bank account. I have fun: in 15 minutes I'm leaving to go spend some time with my pals. Perhaps I am blind, because I don't know what about my views on women is fedora-tier.

Classical music cured my porn addiction.

/pol/ is nothing but leftist shills now.

I have to finish a short story in three days for school.
No idea of how long it'll be or how to end it.
17 pages already.
I have a joint rolled up and ready to go in the sarcophogus next to my bed.
I'm trying to mend things up with everyone I know before I graduate;
so far it's going alright,
except that things keep going wrong.
I'm drinking cafe au lait because of Camus,
fearing I'm a hipster because I play bluegrass and want to be an English major.
I stopped wearing my prayer beads out of embarrassment even though that sweet women in China town put them on my wrist and said they were good luck.
Mandolins and Banjos
Violins, biggie smalls,
I'll stop now.
Bukowski-esuqe bukakae of run ons
off-kilter,
off-meter,
variations on everything

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>>9354007
Did somebody say shill?

Jokes aside though, working on the third book in this series. I think it's coming along alright for the most part. More action than the first one, less sex, and just more stuff in general happening than the second one. Still, I can't help but feel that my first book was my best so far, but who knows, maybe this one will end up feeling like my new best.

Determinism is ok I guess

>>9354262
I hope that "ok I guess" part is meant to be ironic i.e. throwing vagueness into conception of a philosophy that's supposed to be rigid.

Determinism is literally Calvinism for STEMfags

>>9354270

I just meant that subjectively, either determinism is true or I have some degrees of freedom but am very very predictable, but either way I feel ok about stuff.

tried writing my own philosophy but ended up being my diary desu cuz 2dumb

I might give it another shot i a few years once I worked out the concept for some fiction instead to peddle my own mania

>>9353694
No, I was just thinking about it.

>>9354278
Predictable to whom? Obviously you're predictable to yourself, otherwise you'd be schizophrenic. I doubt your objective predictability outside of a cold-reading fortune teller's sense, which is all determinism amounts to at this point (e.g. "You will have a profound experience," etc.). It's easy to predict generalities.

>>9354327

I am schizo, actually. Or angels and demons are real. In which case it would seem I'm predictable to angels and demons, but not men.

>>9353493
>sometimes it gets so bad that i nearly blow my brain off.
Lol same. It's not even like I'm asking for Nabokov-tier prose, I just want to be good enough to put my basic thoughts to paper in a coherent, compelling manner.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

>>9354405
You're still predictable to "yourself," you've just alienated certain aspects of your self into "angels and demons." Also, that's a major bummer. Can you describe the sensation of "thinking a thought that is not your own"? I'd like to understand schizophrenia in case I start developing it

that these threads should be banned from /lit/ because they're nothing but /r9k/ bitching and thus are in the wrong goddamn board

>>9351265
Meh its ok.

>>9351725
It's on /jp/

>>9354007

Hilarious, just as expected. 4chan is always politically contrarian, so now we have a right wing government we're going to be crawling with communists.

>>9355748
It was a planned operation in this case.

>>9355748
more like there are multiple organizations of paid people that are just spamming leftist shit to distrupt discussion

Hitler's obsession with random power in the early days of his career is hilarious.

i feel trapped in a fucking labirinth where every wall reminds me that i will be unhappy forever but will keep crawling from one corner to another looking for the way out, i hope it gets better one day

>>9355803
>Hitler's obsession with random power in the early days of his career is hilarious.
please do tell

>>9355819
Otto Strasser: What is the program of the NSDAP?
Hitler: The program is not the question. The only question is power.
Strasser: Power is only the means of accomplishing the program.
Hitler: These are the opinions of the intellectuals. We need power!

I'm either neurotically obsessed with diet and exercise to the point that I feel guilt for eating a candy bar or a complete glutton. Wonder what it's like to strike a balance between the two.

>>9355779
I havent got my soros shill paycheck yet, anyone else have this problem? Soros wont reply to my calls either

>>9354533

It's exactly like listening, just without sound. You passively receive something that comes automatically, you can't trace it, it seems to belong to something different from you. With me, it's that I'm pretty stupid, so whenever anything intelligent happens inside my head I know it's another entity.

>used to be super liberal
>now super conservative
>don't feel like my core beliefs have changed at all and yet here I fucking am
I don't know how this happened. Also, I kinda feel bad because I can't enjoy some of my favorite bands anymore because their music flagrantly left leaning.

>>9355845
It's called bulimia. See a therapist maybe.

>>9356551

You're not stupid..

>>9351265
aging, no pussy

Social media is a psy-op.

>>9351265
As the milk trickled from the shattered bowl, I gazed at my hands one more time in a desperate effort of self validation - to ensure that I was indeed human.
"I'm so fucked up," I uttered to myself, falling from my chair and curling up into my own personal darkness. For the first time in a long time, I cried.

I cried over spilled milk.

>>9358001
This is sickening
sort yourself out

>>9358011
O-ok dad

I played with fire in the shadows and I got burnt to cinders.

A hat

>>9357952
Bulimia is characterized by short-term binges and purges, no? This is different. I'll go a year+ on an exercise kick only to lose motivation and go a year+ eating and drinking excessively.

Cities are noxious weeds that must be eradicated from this planet.

I hate the Europe..

>>9358650
"the" is redundant.

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Which publications are worth submitting short stories to?

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I wish this were a comment worth posting.

I came into this thread in order to write more accurately or at least with better prose, but since that kind of change happens over time, and since there's no way to tell which direction is better to pursue, I'm stuck in a never-ending cycle of "doing what I can".

It's funny, because "doing what you can" is the only prescribed medication to perfectionism, yet it's not anymore satisfying than pining over every single phrasing and used word. It just ends up being more productive, and maybe some elements will reveal themselves, but certainly that doesn't seem to come from the act of writing.

Furthermore, I can only wonder which level of irony this is on, when I practice the skill of writing through writing about writing in order to avoid ONLY thinking about writing, and its a teeny tiny bit of a frighten when I read these or other sentences and wonder "How close is this to the border of mental illness?"

This thread seems to be asking for some sort of personal sincerity, as if when we write what is directly on our minds, a more sincere picture of the anonymous poster comes out. Is this really the case? If I re-read my post and decide to edit a portion, have I lost some sort of sincerity? Is that even something worth considering?

But now I look at the various ways in which I've been actively editing the content of my sentences, and another question is raised: are they not impersonal enough? It seems self-centered to me, unnecessarily so, without re-reading the previous paragraphs.

Could I give this thread what IT, this anonymous judging cultural essence what it actually wants? Will anyone read this post? Does anyone need to read this post for it to matter?

Monkey see and monkey do
Monkey need a monkey poo
Monkey sing and monkey dance
Monkey shit his monkey pants

t. WG

3rd dimension communicating with our dimensiin through texts. Have to figure out how to create a portal or wormhole based off of being able to communicate only through texts and tweets and Facebook posts. Both dimensions have actually been in contact with one another since the advent of the internet, however who really invented the internet?

About to move out of home into an incredibly expensive apartment along with a childhood friend I haven't spent time with for years.

Going from Plato to Aristotle is like waking up from a dream where you are dating the girl of your dreams to having to commute to your office job.

empyrean music tendrils reverberate, evoking the same fractal as before it found itself as it will now and then like a loopy hole in the ground got itself good into a hole in the ground for itself good hole up a hill a hole in the ground got itself gooooooooood hole in the ground around town. To laugh is a pitiable preamble for everyone dearest to my aforementioned appreciation (aft and rear) of the periphery thou dost saunter in lieu of the bloke to the left of ye'; oughta mind a fella' (nasty to get waft of an aviator before he's 'ad 'is liftoff formalities). Goredragon, molten kiss, harbinger of abridged flamedeath, cursed master of the living, sacker of Troy (aside from that one time): «Gaëalœ Yæx pröfkatxthus! Undrægon gardön! Unto me!» O holy moly moly moly god I require to run fastly! Hurry! Now! Urging soar fastly fast! Nearest exit (optimized algorithmic analysis component:=oaac; XORinterp/inspir: computation.Fax.x 1&:&bitlyUndergo#) I can hurry now fastly for a slices of solstice (cost_efficient runtime stated...cost_efficient manuscript slated//: AnddisGenet$.govsj Santa Bergif//ha.bit...) Lab so read read like a laser beam been bean but now beam better to be a bean matter most stable but course conversion possible like my--RNN_newsflash: nobody around. ghost town. Lesson on the board: chalk slips away on little snow tips: a small story. Local bookstore: drawn and quartered by dogs longing for fresh chops. Clicky nails click on hardwood clicky click with licky lips sniffy sniff fresh choppys! Hands grapple hands grapple grow fingers fondling umbrellas clashing raindrops keep falling on my hand: umbrella Treaty preamble A1:1: Whereupon the judgements of a formal representative body would feign be most pragmatic... Lapel crease boy spoon boy gave mother an elbow tumbling and got the spittle in return. Hopeful star-baptized epistemic nationalists convey manifesto in flowery prose to be read by frustrated functional parsers. Mountain stream brings waterfall to dream birds.
Anachronism:
And by moonrise heroic Hallax,
earthly warden of thunderstruck knaves,
approached the great tempestuous domain
Of the anathema to be rightly slain
One hundred heads did he see
each merely one of three,
Giving birth to a country;
Eight bishops to providence
Reside in every residence
The print ha lllli pfssprcocd
Mercenary language retrieval of an already known tale. The lavish life of a dune dog tied down looking at the sun. The music keeps playing

If history repeats itself, I am so getting a dinosaur!

If any of you are sexually active or plan on having sex, drink 2-3 glasses of red wine prior to it, it makes sex even better. Seriously it helped me fall in love again

>>9351344
I guess you realised that you're taking a different path, you would have turned there, your father will die and you can only observe and learn from his mistakes

Also you should call your mom

My anus itches and probably stinks.

>>9351430
He got good weed

Never thought I'd say this but I want a fucking job. Ideally one that's interesting and rewarding, but if that proves beyond my reach then at least one I can convince others is those things.

I think I listen to depressing music when I'm depressed because I get some catharsis by trying to relate to stories that are never going to happen to me

>>9351412
Me too but only because im lazy

>>9359985
Being depressed is a meme

>>9351265
it's all as boring as i suspected.

>>9351412
congrats on being natsume soseki

>>9360017
what should I call it then? feeling down, being sad?

I kinda agree on it being a meme

I went to the museum to look at ancient near eastern artefacts and it was all normies taking pictures of themselves next to things

I wish normies would go away. I think they might not be conscious desu

>>9360026
Why are you feeling down?

>>9351265
Think i'm on a good track to getting a girl.
It's a little up in the air, but with some guidance I think i might be able to pull this off! and she's just my type too! Older with short dark hair and a lithe frame, and with an affection for vidya and literature! fingers crossed, /lit/

>>9360152
gl anon

how'd you meet her?

>>9351265
Women are the greatest victims of capitalism.

>>9360156
we're both in the theater department at our college. I'm a minor finishing up my second semester and she's a major on her last semester.

I'd seen her pictures on some of the large playbills they'd hung up and thought she was pretty and then i got to meet her and do a show with her. Was invited to a party at her apartment just the other day and we seemed to really hit it off. I'll give it a shot at least and see what happens.

It's been like 4 months and I fee like a terrible person for breaking up with my GF. It's not that I regret it but I feel like a shitty person, I feel so guilty about leaving her how I did. I don't want her back, our relationship was too intense, stressful and I was taking care of her too much since she had depression. But holy shit I feel so guilty after all this time, and recently she came back to where I work and we ignore each other kind of but the guilt fuck, make it go away, I know I'm terrible but it wasn't working out. I hate this.

>>9360246
as a man who stayed in a relationship when It should have otherwise ended months earlier, I can tell you that you made the right decision. you'd only make it worse by sticking around with someone you no longer love. You'd grow to despise them entirely.

>>9351265
I am the best man that ever lived

>>9360064
just the usual, feeling like I haven't accomplished anything in life, I have no friends, no gf, muh existential angst, etc.

Stream of consciousness is showing up in my life a lot more often. Stirfry is quality.

>>9351265

I want to move West and live with my friends. Just gotta keep saving until I can do that, then I'll be fine.

>>9360368
Where in the west? Like Wyoming or far-west like Cali?

Jesus was right.

What in the fuck happened to Esquire? The magazine, I mean. I was never an enormous fan, but I liked to check it out every now and then, and at the very least it wasn't offensive. I picked up an issue for the first time in a while today, and it was nothing but annoying. The fonts were shitty, the photoshoots were complete trash, even the taste in clothing presented was fucking garbage. I was genuinely disgusted, in a way I don't think I've ever been at a magazine.

>>9351265
Why am I still here?

This is self destructive

It's too late now.

How can I change myself?

>>9359881
No lol. My mother is going to get my father killed and ruin his life.

>>9352116
pics

I wrote lengthy replies in a thread on how to appear as an intellectual.

I realised that I'm a man whose life can be measured by the weight of his masks.

Haven't spoken to one of my online friends in close to a year, and he left me a message about a week ago saying he has cancer.

He's joking and taking it lightly, but I'm worried. Not only is he one of my good friends, he's like my main writing partner...never have I synched so well with someone and been able to bounce so many ideas off of and get my own creative groove again.

Still not really sure how I feel about all this, but I don't want to stress him out by constantly asking how he's feeling or doing.

So yea...that's what's running through my mind right now..

>>9359618
I think you misunderstood. You'll be dead when the dinosaurs arrive :)

glad you asked

>earlier today, at around noon
>at train station, waiting for train with dad
>we have a good relation, he is a bro
>i'm making small talk with pop, starting talking about how i don't like when sites makes me put extra shit in passwords, like 'numerical characters' or 'needs at least one capital letter' etc etc.
>say something like "it's like, 'fuck you motherfucker. let me take care of how safe my own password is.'"
>dad nods
>guess i said it kind of loud because some random older lady who was walking by turns, looks at me in the eyes and says, "excuse me, 'motherfucker'?"
>i blink, realize she is talking to me
>"is that how you talk in public?" she says condescendingly
>i tell her to go fuck herself
>she starts talking some dumb shit about she is a mother and she is offended
>tell her to mind her own business, call her a dumb bitch or something
>dad tells me to let it go
>bitch keeps talking, i look away and flip her the bird until she disappears

where do people get the nerve to pull this shit? i was having a casual conversation with my dad and this entitled cunt felt like she just had to weigh in.

>>9361539
Well exactly

I fear that everything important has already been written, that everything I would like to highlight about perspective has already been endlessly expounded upon. I fear that my journals hold nothing of value within, that my ideas are worthless. I fear that some ideas that I wrote about for a few paragraphs before abandoning were actually worthy. I fear that only my sloth and lack of self-belief are holding me back. I fear that my fear of being unoriginal is unwarranted (maybe originality is overrated and even outdated?).

I'm afraid of everything right now. Writing used to be my sanctuary, the one thing that kept me sane when I felt my world was falling apart—but now I'm even afraid of writing.

>>9361720
Now is the time to connect with him more than ever before. Make the most of your time with him.

Hell, maybe he'll beat that shit.

>>9361847
Please stop pretending you have any idea. Your initial post was so wrong I laughed out loud.

>>9361923
If you think about it that's exactly what I was saying, I made a wild guess, turns out to be true

What did I get wrong?

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>tfw resume for job I was applying for got rejected

what are some books for this feel

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>>9351265
I'm getting close to a girl but I'm fucking terrified when it comes time for sex I'll have erectile dysfunction or delayed ejaculation again. I have no problem getting girls but my fucking dick never works and I hate it.

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>>9351317

I'm assuming you aren't just messing around and actually want help.

In that case, for vocabulary go download a flashcard programme called Anki and then pick up a core2k deck from their shared community Japanese decks. This will get you to memorise the 2000 most common words in Japanese, which is a useful foundation to have when you start reading manga/games/light novels in Japanese.

Next, go look up "tae kim grammar guide". Read all of it. I'm serious. It's not the only resource you'll need for grammar but it'll give you a fantastic overview of the language's grammar.

After you're done that, go pirate some easy manga like Yotsubato and read them slowly, looking up every word you don't know in a dictionary and looking up every grammar point you don't understand in Tae Kim or simply by googling it.

Godspeed.

Just enough poverty to be able to value freedom. Just enough security to allow any freedom at all.
Just enough freedom not to be poor.

How do you know where the golden mean is?

>>9362083
Do you watch porn?

chillin in japan drinking sapporo "the gold" whats good

>>9351513
Become good at conversation. You can't be blunt when probing about a person's insecurities. Frame your questions step by step according to their response.

I'm trying to decide whether or not to play persona 5.

>>9351412
we did the same we got two cats for free one has a name, the other one is called the other one

Have a cute girl comming over in a few hours. She's nice but also super christian and does not believe in sex before marriage.

Thinking about if I should keep this up or not.

>>9362955
Anal is ok.

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>tfw you read something you written 5 years ago and it's pure cringe

>>9362955
No. That's not to say sex before marriage is necessarily a "good" thing, but someone who ties their devotion to a legal institution is probably not capable of loving at a meaningful level.

>>9362955
Nah, break it off. It's obvious that your worldviews don't align and do you really want to marry her just so you can tap that?

what the hell is Post-Minimalism?

So many arguments end up as a discussion about language and now reality is so boring

What the fuck david
I thought you were my friend
I never lied to you
Thats just how it all
Worked out
In the end

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>>9363347
>>9363354
tumblr is the other way.

>>9352959
you sound like my ex bf

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I still love you

im just happy to be here :D

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>>9363395
>she right now

>>9363048
That means you're progressing, it's a good thing

Monologo collettivo.

>>9352350
>anime is as good or better
No.
Just.
No.

As someone who watches anime...
No.

>>9362890
Do it

I think I just got a B on my Nihongo test and I wanna kill myself fast

>>9363382
I wish I had handled things differently. I hope you're okay and that you can be happy.

My depression is ruining my life and I don't know what to do. I thought it went away for like a week; I felt good about myself and was able to function normally on a surface level, but it came back and now I'm sleeping way too much and my motivation to do anything is gone.

Girls are gay

It sucks that white people like to jerk themselves off about how 'open minded' they are, when for a lot of them, they see skin color/racial identity as something on par with hair color in how trivial it is. I understand that there is no one set of 'fixed' traits for any race, culture, or ethnicity. But saying you can change a character's race without it changing the character is stupid. You can have an American character of any race, sure, but someone Chinese-American in the south is going to have a different experience than someone Indian. You can make your character black, but there are black people who can't trace their roots out of the US, and black people who have African parents that immigrated 15 years ago. If you make your character Latino, cool, but the Latino kid who was adopted by a successful gay couple is going to have a very different life than the Latino kid that has undocumented family that only speaks Spanish at home.

The idea that you can write a white character and just swap out the skin color at the end, without it meaning anything about the character, is wishful thinking, at best. Even in the United States. Maybe you can get away with it in minor/supporting roles, where the character doesn't really do or say much that affects the story. But in that case, why go to the trouble of patting yourself on the back? It's basically like saying 'non-white people are unimportant and interchangeable'

>>9364203
Basically you're saying that a good writer takes societal racial prejudices or lack thereof into account when writing about a person who lives in a given culture. No one who characterizes well thinks you can just "swap races" and turn the Connecticut-reared WASP who has never seen skin possessing more than slight melanin levels with Tyrone from the south side of Syracuse.

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I don't want winter to end.

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It all comes down to women. All your favourite authors, all the genius literary figures, were all madly and pathetically devoted to women. They were usually unsuccessful too, they often scared away their love interests thanks to how creepy they were. I feel pathetically in love with a woman that I can't have, not now at least. I hold onto daydreams that in 5 years, having gone our separate ways and landed ourselves in solid careers, we meet again and fall in love. I hate how much she occupies my thoughts and decides my moods. I feel pathetic.

>>9364261
>It all comes down to women. All your favourite authors, all the genius literary figures, were all madly and pathetically devoted to women.
Start with the Greeks, you complacent newfag.

I don't think I've ever had a productive argument. They always end in insults or devolve into such ridiculous statements that further debate is impossible.

>>9364252

I'm pretty sure I have some sort of seasonal depression so summer can't come fast enough for me.

I love the word 'hellhole'.

Hellhole.

>>9351291
been about a month at this point, but it was the first time I'd seen it.

Appreciated the bittersweet ending in all honesty.

it often feels that "i" am really comprised of two entities vying for control. v1 is content, appreciative, jocular, even mildly confident. v2 is depressive and self-loathing. "i" can't seem to control which one is in power, and they seem to shift somewhat capriciously, though certain factors will favor the long-term supremacy of one over the other (for example as i was getting in better shape v1 held more power, but the shifts between the two were still random). often v1 will make plans or set goals that v2 will inherit and disregard, finding them pointless or alien. i don't know if this is common or some sort of mental illness, especially since i don't like talking about my mental state in non-anonymous settings. i really appreciated beckett's the unnamable for its depiction of something similar though.

for what it's worth this is v1 and i'm feeling really good man.

I'm never going to be a produced screenwriter. I've hardly written anything, I don't know anyone in the industry, and I'm terrible at speaking in front of people and making pitches.

I'm going to waste away in an office like my parents and their parents before them.

>>9364342
We prefer the term 'peepee soaked heckhole' thanks

The fountain of youth
Is really having no
Expectation of the future

Does any other depressed and angry people want to be my Friend. I dont have any. I tried b but it was notba good idea.

>>9364684
I don't want to moralize to you but the reason that depressed angry people don't have friends is that depression and anger are not conducive to friendship. You need to look for people that will help you become less depressed and angry, not people to feed into your negative feelings. If you're so depressed and angry that you can't even begin to do that, you need to work on yourself until you can at least pretend not to be depressed and angry. Mostly the angry part, people can work around depression.

Read some Taoist works and get some exercise. You will feel better, if only slightly.

>>9362327
Off and on. I just re-deleted all my porn accounts and everything off my computer though, and installed a thing on my browser to stop me from seeing porn websites. Hopefully I can stick to it this time.

I've found that erectile dysfunction is cured if I exercise regularly, but I have no clue how to get rid of my delayed ejaculation. I haven't cum from a woman in 4 years. I guess I'll just try not-cumming for a while, and see if that helps. I'll aim for 2 weeks this time (old record was 8 days, still couldn't cum from normal sex).

I am a prisoner of fears I keep mostly to myself. Every day the horror. The thoughts. Questioning every decision. Agonizing paralysis.

I've been craving a drink for weeks now. I finally caved and bought a case. It doesn't make me happy like it used to. I just want to live life for one day without a care. One day at a time.

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is pussy (boy) gay?

>>9364939
liking your pic is 100% hetero

>>9351531
just commit to writing how you think. even if its hard to parse people may relate

>>9364785
Thanks anon. I wil look into that. I need something more in this life. Never tried that.

>>9352350
The anime is bad even by the standards of anime.

>>9353550
Hey, the magnificent seven is a great movie too.

I often make inflammatory posts on threads of subjects I know little or nothing about just to encourage discussion, and not just on /lit/.

>>9362112
Thanks a ton, anon. Should I be learning everything at once? That is, should I be learning Kanji, grammar, and phrases at the same time from this point?

I assume that's what the deck is (Kanji)

>>9352728
I just read it too and I found it to be a great read. As someone who hasn't done a lot of fiction reading, I enjoyed the sheer absurdity of the story, how Camus tied it all back together at the end, as well as the dialogue and philosophy he espouses.

The constant presence of the sea also reminded me of home

Ivy dreams are plagued by the pursuit of pyrrhic medals while Sisyphus begs at our feet.
Please keep dreaming, anons.

I think the porkchop I bought last week has spoiled. Son of a fucking bitch. Oh well, out to the pub for dinner it is, then.

>>9365310
ivy league is easy to get into dude

A man made of willpower, conviction, self-control, is hard to cut open, smiles like wind doesn’t exist and his grandmother will never die. That’s confidence. That’s a place people visit and then realize there’s a cat and a fish to feed and an inbox to clear and refill with offers for 20% off of a surge protector and graduate schools trying to fill diversity quotas.

You know who you are. Every time you’re cut, blue jelly slowly creeps out and slops onto the floor. It’s fascinating, the jelly. The cut gets larger when you move around and the jelly changes hues from green to blue, but pain doesn’t exist here, no. It doesn’t hurt, because the signals sent across your telephone wires are misfires. The call will be a robot, most likely, not a dear friend.

A woman with dimples, probably in her thirties, with an overbite that’s just barely endearing enough to remind you of a member of your extended family sits at a table in the back corner of the lounge. There’s one of those overhead lamps with pastel purple and green stained glass above and a red partial-globe encasement of a candle below on a worn cream tablecloth. It’s 2300. The plastic of the booth underneath your bottom is just about to give, but something about tonight indicates that it’s trying it’s hardest just for you.

>>9365811
2nd it's should be *its

Only in darkness can the spark of humanity thrive.

>>9366003
souls XD

I want to make video games that are actually good

>>9366041
I want to play video games that are actually good

>>9366052

You'd think there would be a way to make this work, but no. All I have are ideas right now, and that's all I'm really able to contribute, and I'd need to assemble a team before I could even put a kickstarter together, but I can't find people willing to help even though everyone says my ideas are great.

>>9366041
me too. the people making games now are so pathetic i just want to do it myself. i even downloaded gamemaker and unity but haven't made much progress.

I want to support my local bookstore but the selection is pure shit and ordering things in takes longer and costs more than just buying online

>>9351265

www.clownpenis.fart

Amped I found a copy of catch-22 from a second hand store today. Its so out of shape though I don't even know if I'm going to get more than 2 reads out of it

>>9365756
I like this, though I'm not entirely sure what you're trying to say.

Gather round and listen to the delicate pattering of crystal rain shatter against the morning lake, observe the mountains cascaded in the mystic fog, the desert in its infinite wonder. Relish in the taste of the sweetest mango and the very air air you breathe which by some miracle sustains this thing of utter delight called life. Love earth, the city of gods.

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>>9351265
I feel like the world is hanging off a cliff, teetering, but never falling. I'm always waiting for something big to happen. Because nothing ever happens to me

>>9351454

>killing yourself
>the best move

Holy shit lol don't listen to this retard, do you know how many famed people didn't come into their own or talents until later in life?

Always preservere. You don't know what's around the corner.

>>9351265
I just want to finish college and get a job so I can finally have some regular sleep and seriously get my life together.

>>9367630
Do you have a position already lined up or are you about to begin the hunt? I'm two years out and still can't find full-time work.

>>9352247
An excellent film. Perfect in every sense of the word

>>9351382

静夜思

床前明月光
疑是地上霜
举头望明月
低头思故乡

This is a famous poem by li bai

I need some money badly but it seems impossible to get any decent amount without breaking the law. I used to sell drugs and do other petty crimes in high school, but I stopped because I believed that I was risking a bright future where I would get a good job. Looking back knowing now what my life is, I would have rather just been a career criminal and deal with whatever risk of jail or violence comes along with that lifestyle than be 23 years old working shitty jobs making less money than I did as a teenage pill dealer and living at my parent's house because the cost of living is too high for me to afford. At least I could have had some pride as a man supporting himself instead of this extended adolescence that so many of our generation seems to have. It's hard for me to tell if we got fucked over by political and economic forces or if we just all suck and have bad work ethic like the older generations claim. The truth is probably a little of both, but at this point I don't even really care, I just need to change my life somehow before I jump off a bridge

>>9369029
Baby boomers sucked the West dry so now there's nothing left for us.

I wish I knew what I'm supposed to do lol.

i have a full time salary job and i'm living alone for the first time

pretty much all i think about is reading and what to purchase next

Aristotle is a really comfy read.

>>9352605
>>9352607
>>9352600
I didn't even notice he didn't say "torrenting" until it was pointed out

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>>9351265
I wish there was a universal will and standard of significance that would allow me motivation to write. Does everyone feel like this? I lack the writer's touch to bend vocabulary in a way that is commensurate to the profundity of this idea. i am also afraid of purple prose, but what prose is not purple?

>>9353710
Coffee + pear sounds like a horrible combination

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>My time with Anon has come to an end. During our time together, I learned about his general cynicism and misanthropy but also his irreverent, self-deprecating style of humour and his ability to show compassion toward those who shared his "feels". What had started as a journey into the "dark side of the internet" had become a poignant investigation into the lives of wayward young men. With no community to fall back on and plenty of free time to spend online, they had forged an alliance not out of common interests but a common sense of displacement. Although they have been attacked in the media as Nazis, perverts and nihilists, the picture I was presented was one of loneliness and desperation. I finally realised that the "Internet Hate Machine" hates nothing more than itself.

>>9370103
Write if you want to write, simple stuff really.

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>>9370373

>>9369731
There are times when I feel assholish and want to gut Social Security and Medicare, not because I'm a conservative in any way, but purely because I want the Boomers to be fucked in their old age. It feels like if we're not able to get by, they shouldn't be, either. Trash entitlements purely out of spite.

>>9370371
It was really coffee + ice cream, I ate the pear afterwards

this thread, this whole image board is soaked with delusional depression and it's becoming stale. it's like that plate you left in your room with half eaten food and stinky condiments. the food you got last night after binging on whatever it is you partake in to get you through your night and you hoped that night would never end. the saddest part is when you awake to another melancholy morning. you wonder how many more you can stomach.

>>9370953
cute, I like it. Is there more?

>it's a food analogy

File: Do not challenge a god.gif (987KB, 400x224px) Image search: [Google]

987KB, 400x224px

>>9351265
I've wasted my life and should kill myself, I lived an empty hollow life and have spent all of it lying to myself. I grew up in what amounts to a ghetto with non-caring, emotionally manipulative parents, I dropped out of high school, because the high school sucked and was turning me into a druggie, popping prescription pills for a stress headaches that no one believed I was having, and I never told my best friend, who probably doesn't even think of me as more than acquaintance who I haven't talked to in almost a year because I am terrified of what he'll think of me; He told me over skype one time to never become a NEET and do something with my life. But I dropped out and haven't made a single word of progress to a sellable product. I've bought about 22 books on how to write. Written plenty of ideas down, some of which I think are really good, But I can't bring myself to fail, because that's what every does in the beginning, I'm scared that after 5 years of dropping out, if my first book is garbage no one will take me seriously, and I'll become a pariah of my tiny-nonexistent friend group. Most of all I'm afraid that I disappointed him. I read in one of my how to write books that, "a writer every day makes the decision to either write or kill themself." And I feel like I am actively choosing the latter, its just happening slowly.
That's whats on my mind OP.

>>9353550
kurosawa was a virtuoso

Why is Kurosawa so shit at fight effects

>>9371107
fuck you cyka

I can't masturbate to real life women anymore. I just look at them and get mad at them for being such huge whores. Fucking disgusting. Anime girls are the only thing I'm comfortable masturbating to anymore.

I wake up everyday drenched in sweat, am I going to die?

>>9352553
Berardi talks about modern alienation in "Heroes", although it isn't exactly what you said. Instead of becoming self-sufficient (really a dream, if they even dream it, for most people) he is totally pessimistic and sees the next possibility for labor freedom only in an AI revolution.

>>9355748
It's a measure to show any disillusioned /pol/acks how far "left" they are allowed to go.

>>9361874
Just write. Progress can be made in small increments just as in huge leaps. I think many people in my age (20's) are afraid of rejection, of being wrong, imperfect, etc. Something is encouraging this, but you don't have to give in.

>>9362321
It's where you still have to give effort to maintain the freedom.

>>9364368
Same, it's not mental illness. Being conscious of it means we can choose to support one or another.

>>9373389
Maybe you just need to open a window? Or change your diet? Or meditate more so that you don't go mindlessly chasing after your dreams?

I just want to fall in love again and again and again so that I end up in orbit somewhere. Doing something for any other reason is such mindless death.

There are times when I legitimately do not understand my peers and the people of my generation. I know this sounds like a "born in the wrong generation" complaint, but I legitimately feel isolated from other people born around the same time I do.

At least some of it has to do with my Catholicism. My faith has grown stronger and deeper as I've gotten older. This has led me more and more to think of the Church as correct on lots of issues that, before, I might have had a disagreement with. I won't call this me becoming more "conservative" because I almost feel like I'm beyond conservatism. I almost feel medieval, in my mental rejection of so many of the ideas that seem to undergird modern life in the West. Yet the present state of my faith demands that rejection, because such a rejection is my faith carried, faithfully, to its logical conclusion.

One other effect of this is that I've actually become increasingly anti-American. An honest reading of history leaves me aware of how thoroughly atheist, materialist, and mercantile the United States has been since its very beginning. I sometimes feel the whole country is an affront to God, and wish it would be destroyed as a result.

For all these things and more, I feel alone. Or, not alone, because I have Christ and the Church, with whom I'm never alone. But I feel like an island among my peers.

god someone talk to me

this website is so fucking shit. it has some good stuff there and there but i dont think i can wade through so much shit just to find some. i genuinely thought /lit/ was better but it seems like a lot of its posters are just as dumb as the next dudes. doesnt lower the board quality though, a lot of people are still kinda better.

>>9374666
the song chumbawumba reminds me of my british immigrant babysitter's house, specifically the old armchair in their dining room

now that i think about it that room is where my mind sets a lot of things, i think i imagined their house being delores' house in Lolita, and maybe some scenes from Harry Potter, and i've also definitely jerked off to fantasies taking place in that room as a "generic room" for some reason

>>9374675
that's pretty weird, but i guess its normal for some regular places to have more "value" to others.

>>9374182
by the way i love you. is there any way for us to hang out or talk?

>>9373600
>sees the next possibility for labor freedom only in an AI revolution.
I recognize that total self sufficiency isn't possible now, if it ever was, but I can only see a singularity or something like it as an even more elusive dream than self-sufficiency. At least there are historical models for self-owned production: it seems to me that AI-based labor or a "post scarcity" society would serve to alienate people from their labor entirely.

I'll definitely check out Berardi, though.

>>9374666
Fuck off retard

>>9374691
whats up with your day, anon? tell me about yourself.

i want people to watch this and post their reactions
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkmzdiJXwaA
it's a conversation between Jordan Peterson and a literal trap

>>9374697

I daydream about shipping the cultural theorists and post-colonial scholars in my department to other disciplines. History. Philosophy. Math. Engineering. Anywhere.

The English department could use a break for a year or two.

>>9374712
where you from?

>>9374712
History here. We're full of those faggots already.

>>9374716

University of Anywhere, Earth.

>>9374718

I believe you. Honestly, the real dream is for them to have their own department. Preferably with their own building on the opposite side of campus.

But that's not as entertaining as imagining them in electrical engineering courses, or at office hours for the head of the Math department.

All of my writing is on like like 3 layers of glorified fanfiction, and I've basically embraced it at this point. The problem is, trying to branch out into copying the viewpoint of a different character than the whopping two I'm used to is really hard and it doesn't feel right, which is immensely frustrating. I wish I could figure out what I was doing wrong in capturing the character, even though deep down I know that I'm literally running away from originality by trying to be a really good copycat.

>>9374743
everyone is a really good copycat

dostoevsky was suspected for plagiarism from his early works but slowly and surely he gained the individual touch

>>9351434
DO IT!

>>9374764
I guess it's the fact that the "source material" is weebshit that really twists the knife whenever I inevitably think back to the unoriginality conundrum.

>>9374773
>weebshit

well

:(

>>9374869
See what I mean?

>>9374911
why would your "source material" be weebshit?

dont you read books?

>>9374683
As long as you're not some weirdo, give me an email address and I'll send you a note.

>>9374949
I prefer just online chatting, not actual hanging out. But I completely feel the same way as you do. I am very anti-American myself.

>>9374957
Well, like I said, give me some sort of way to get in touch with you, and I will.

>>9351513
You will perhaps get in tune with or realize your feelings easier by talking about them. But, alas, you will only get about them. You can not deal with yourself by only talking and thinking. Feelings are evolutionary prior to abstractational thoughts. So. GL.