Describe your current lot in life, get book recommendation

>>9323477
Dostojevskij - Notes from the Underground

>currently working a dead end job but will be unemployed in a couple of months
>no education
>in love with a girl who hates me
>no dreams or plans for the future
>functioning alcoholic

>Work 6am-6pm weekdays
>never write
>read a little maybe two weeknights a week and a lot on the weekends
>masturbate and shitpost all weekend
>only go outside to work or to buy supplies

>>9323477
>college dropout
>short, fat, pug-face, small dick, hispanic
>living with parents, 24 years old
>kissless and hugless virgin, no friends
>work at subway where my boss and coworkers constantly make passive aggressive jokes about me
>woke up at noon and then got in bitter argument with my mom for the 20th day in a row
>ate a bunch of poptarts for breakfast, felt like complete shit
>took a massive dump while watching clips of the bee movie and then jacked off, but missed and was out of toilet paper so I had to use the toilet paper roll to wipe my ass and clean up the cum everywhere
>want to become a writer but haven't read a full book in months, always starting them but getting bored and dropping them
>the last book i finished was siddartha because it's like 100 pages and super easy
>started a goodreads challenge for a book a week and then changed it to one book/year because of my constant anxiety about it
>wanted to spend last year learning a new language but learned only very basic japanese, spent most of my time watching anime and jacking off to hentai and JAV
>lungs and head hurts constantly and i feel nauseous 24/7 because of my nicotine addiction
>spend like two-three hours planning out my plan for this year and downloading various textbooks and creating study guides and book reading lists that I will never follow
>jack off again and then eat a bunch of hot pockets
>start to read a new book but then put it down and open my computer and spend the rest of my day alternating between watching cuck porn and writing "my diary desu" and various other low energy memes on /lit/ while chuckling to myself
>it is now 2:00 in the morning

Rate my life, /lit/

>>9323509
The Castle - Kafka

>>9323521
2/10

>>9323521
Pretty comfy desu, you should stop worrying so much and enjoy your life it's not that bad

>>9323521

Quit porn and nicotine, eat clean and exercise. It's not a fucking meme, it will help you very much. Either that or piss away your one life jacking off to anime.

>>9323585

It's profoundly fucking horrifying mate.

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>studying film theory
>good student
>watched 120 films in 2017
>I'm a fat fuck but that's okay
>I love my gf
>I read often but I'm a slow reader
>write like 4 times a week, I got a poem published a few days ago
>I believe in God and in Jesus Christ but I don't act christian even tho I think I should
>I drink too much tea

>>9323477
Marcus Aurelius - Meditations

>>9323521
what the hell

just died, was reborn again

>>9323521
0/10
Your life is a joke

>>9323477
>shitty dead end part time job
>writing things few if any people will ever read on my days off
>Not a virgin but currently being driven insane by my spontaneous feelings for this girl I've only met a few times and may or may not ever see again

>>9323632
stop being such a fucking cuck ffs
fuck bitches, get lit

>>9323521
quite literary desu

>>9323607
>It's profoundly fucking horrifying mate
You don't know what a "profoundly fucking horrifying" life is

>>9323493
Anything by Charles Bukowski or Herman Hesse.

>>9323651
I think it's the looking in the mirror that was profoundly fucking horrifying for that guy you're responding to

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>18
>haven't had real-life friends in years
>ocd which led to agoraphobia. literal autism
>seemingly never-ending panic and skin-picking and counting and repetition and fear
>used to be suicidal every day
>still depressed all the time but it's barely noticeable until it becomes so extreme that all i can do is lie still
>lost virginity to a man 7 years older than me that i love 2 weeks ago, feeling guilty and ashamed of myself even though i'm in love and don't regret what i did
>horrible anxiety keeps me awake for days
>listen to music obsessively while drawing
>haven't left house but once since christmas
>father attempted suicide (again!) recently
>cousin was only friend but he shot himself a year ago. his birthday was two weeks ago

please, for the love of god, rec me some literature to distract me from my own mind. fiction, non-fiction, it doesn't matter.

>>9323682
>distract me
you've got it all wrong, you're feeling like shit because you distract yourself instead of doing things
but it seems like your moral compass is already skewed as fuck, so desu you're fucked
good luck tho

>>9323640
She'd actually have to be there in any capacity for it to be cucking. This is just being left hanging because I have no idea what's going on and no real way of finding out.

That and the le fck bietchs Xd mentality you're memeing is about the most vapid thing ever. I've had casual sex. I might very well have an illegitimate kid or two out there. It's all hollow and pointless.

>>9323682
Jesus fucking Christ.

Maybe read Norwegian Wood? Some nice light fiction to get your mind off life. lit shits on Murakami but it's a good book

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>>9323477
>three tarot cards are describing my life
>the empress rules over my past
>the devil is prince of the present time
>the sun will light my way in the future

>>9323690
he's also probably feeling like shit because of all that family tragedy

>>9323693
no, you misunderstand me
fuck bitches as in disregard them, make your happiness dependent on yourself instead of others i.e. get a hobby or something

>>9323690
i have good ethics and morals, and i'm constantly attempting to improve myself, my mind, and my life, anon. i've been to therapy several times, i was on SSRIs for ten years and they were disgusting and ruined me a bit.
literature is beautiful, and serves as a pleasant distraction. i don't want it for the pure sake of distraction but it's certainly a plus.
i feel like shit because life just sucks, you know? i don't do drugs, i don't engage in any reckless behaviors. i'm constantly striving to become a better person and i want to be good. i try to maintain as much of a level of asceticism as i possibly can, abstaining from casual sex, never drinking or doing drugs, fasting, etc.
i don't think i'm 'fucked' but my brain is definitely throughly tangled.
is it really that awful to seek refuge from a brain plagued by endless intrusive thoughts? i can't stop thinking terrible things.

>>9323698
thanks, i've had iq84 by murakami on my bookshelf for a while but haven't gotten to it, yet. i'll look into norwegian wood, maybe get a pdf or epub of it soon.

>>9323477
>stay up in my bedroom when I can
>feel talentless
>obsessed with history and my own past

can we have a /lit/ meet up where I just give free hugs to everyone? jesus christ you guys

Try antidepressants. They work well.

You should go to youtube and search for "motivation hypnosis," or maybe "self-esteem hypnosis." Listen. The books you should read might be self-help . Try:

You Are a Badass, by Jen Sincero.
Positivity by Barbara L Fredrickson PhD
Unfuck Yourself by Gary John Bishop

Me:

>41
>don't have friends but don't want any, socialized tons when young
>no gf but don't want one, did all that as a youngster and didn't like it at all
>wake up, drink coffee, check 4chan /lit/ /his/
>read a big fat 1,000 page World History book because I'm trying to catch up on all I didn't learn before antidepressants
>feel pretty good to be alive, even though last night I dreamt I created a suicide club on Facebook
>don't care about anything except getting an education on history, politics, and self-help for some book project in my future with no plan yet
>was published last year, sold like 10 fucking copies only, and now have nothing new to say
>generally happy, easy-going, comfortable
>my body is starting to feel old man aches

>>9323730
I'm in if you'll swap hugs for blowjobs.

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>>9323733
>Try antidepressants. They work well.

>>9323716
>i was on SSRIs for ten years and they were disgusting and ruined me a bit.

Whom do I believe....

>>9323744
SORT

>>9323716
>is it really that awful to seek refuge from a brain plagued by endless intrusive thoughts?
Get on contemplation and meditation, learn that your inner monologue is not "you" and that it can be observed, controlled and stopped for a while, but that it implies actually feeling emotions and not distancing (dividing) yourself by the language and the concepts of your inner monologue
I'm pretty sure I'm not clear at all, hope you get it and good luck

>Moved to a new city 4 months ago since I was desperate to find a decent job and couldn't in my hometown.
>Now I have the decent job, and things are going well, but I feel aimless since I know no one here, and making connections either for friendship or romance is difficult for me.
>Haven't written in a few months.
>I read all the time, but I constantly wonder if all my sedentary, isolating hobbies are what's holding me back from really starting a new life here.

>>9323744
I guess I got lucky. Since beginning them, I've improved in terms of productivity. I wish they worked for everyone.

>>9323477
>Having an affair with my college Professor
>We read books
>He's 20 years older than me
>I'm a grown up loli
>My boyfriend and school can't find out

> took a 1 year break from university
> work 4 hours a day - web dev
> live at my parents
> gonna travel 3 months in july
> no gf

>>9323744
Was just thinking: If DFW had stayed alive, maybe a newer, more effective antidepressant would have come out to keep him going. It would be tragic if he killed himself because of depression and not having working medication if a few years later they invented new ones that might have worked for him.

>>9323757
read Oryx and Crake

>>9323779
you do know that depression isn't even a real thing, right?

>>9323705
Ah, well that's different but still useless advice in the context of my situation. I've always primarily existed in a state of flux and have found personal truths through that kind of life. Pushing for anything else 'just because' or 'for myself' to reach someone else's definition of happiness would seem both dishonest and meaningless at this point. I probably enjoy my own misery in my own way more than I'd enjoy your take on happiness.

>>9323770
>>9323779
SSRIs simply made me feel detached. i was constantly in a dissociated haze. they serve to distance you, but they don't fix any of the underlying issues of your depression / anxiety. With obsessive-compulsive disorder and agoraphobia it's even more tricky, because pills will do fucking nothing unless the person in question goes through therapy as well--specifically, cognitive behavioral therapy, to learn that their anxiety is irrational, over time.
Really, pills are kind of useless. They made me feel worse in all aspects of life. I ate too much because they fucked with my dopamine receptors, and now my reward system is perma-fried. I felt like a holographic slug all the time.

I stopped taking all of my SSRIs, did a 360 on my diet and cut out meat, began eating only the healthiest of meals, exercised, stopped myself when I found myself thinking "I want to shoot myself," or "I hate myself."

I felt better after just a few weeks of effort, like this, after being depressed for so many years. It sounds stupid, I know you think "But, that wouldn't work, because I'm depressed." I promise you it helps and you eventually feel a little better, if not a LOT better.

Taking pills when you're depressed is like spraying Febreze in a trash-filled room.

>>9323786

Ok, I'll check it out.

Why that recommendation specifically?

>>9323790
Just like you.

>>9323773
Disgusting, disloyal, hedonistic narcissist.

>>9323810
You'll relate to the main character due to loneliness and your watching of loliporn

>>9323818
What book though

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>>9323811

>>9323826
'Selected Unpublished Blog Posts By A Mexican Panda Express Employee' by Megan Boyle.

>>9323826
Schopenhauer's On Women (I know it's just an essay)
Or
Der Hexenhammer/The Malleus Maleficarum

>>9323831
>Megan Boyle
weak

>>9323833
o boy

>>9323839
Sluts love alt-lit.

>>9323847
Didn't know your mom read

>>9323809
I hear the same from a lot of people who take pills. No answer here. They work for some but not everyone. And the withdrawals can fuck a person up too. In my case, my life has improved dramatically. I shouldn't recommend them to anyone though, like I just did, because they probably don't work as well for most people. It may be a result of not actually having a real brain problem as opposed to having one. I've been a morbid sick person since about age 8, so in my case, but likely not that of usual people, it's just a matter of adding SSRIs. I tell you though: every time I'm on them, productivity increases, happiness increases, and even social anxiety goes down. But that's probably from having something genuinely wrong with my brain, rather than having a world outlook or a philosophical pessimism.

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>>9323850

>>9323651

I probably don't, no, not what is signified by your implied and probably retarded conception of it. By definition, I'd go as far as to say no one on this board does.

>>9323662

Wow, sick put down bro, 10/10 really hurt my feelings.

No, memes aside, the /r9k/ lifestyle fills me with dread. They're usually people with at least some opportunity (growing up with families, like the guy I originally responded to), in western societies, with at least their basic needs tended to. The fact that they just give up and vegetate, existing at the exact level of complacency that keeps them in perpetual pain without the drive to change, that's fucking horrifying.

>>9323854
I kind of thought the opposite. I thought having genuine chemical imbalances and psychological issues would make it more difficult for SSRIs to work, and if it were merely philosophical outlook or conditioning, it'd be easier.. I can see why someone would think the opposite of this, though, because "Oh, I have a chemical imbalance. Chemicals can balance this, then I'll be fine," but with chemical imbalances comes a lot of issues that last forever if not dealt with properly, even when the chemical imbalances are dealt with.

>>9323869
>chemical imbalance

Is this the newest meme? What does that even mean?
Sounds a little too far fetched, idk if I can escape the blame for my own actions with something this unconvincing

>>9323882
A lot of ""studies"" have claimed that depression and other psychological conditions / disorders are merely the result of chemical imbalances and errors. Like, depression is just serotonin being sucked up too rapidly leaving you left with none. I don't think it's that simple, though, of course. Like, sure, it could be a large part for some people but depression can definitely develop over time due to an event and not just chemical imbalances.

>>9323869
My theory on why they don't work for some people is that the problem is psychological rather than psychiatric. I have no evidence to back this up!

I remember when I first started taking them in my twenties. Suddenly, after about fifteen years of suicide, self-harm, and shyness, I felt happy to be alive, stopped the self-harm, and felt far more able to be among people, even socially happy in a way. Went off them, back to misery. Took them again, same results: happy, social, smiling, even giddy. Went off them, you get the story. Each time I'm on them, I improve in the very ways I should. Now, I'm on Viibryd, and I wrote 3 books, if that says anything about productivity compared to staying in bed moping.

>>9323882
Not him but it's the meme all pill popping modern psychiatry is founded on.

>1.Diagnose something as a disorder of some sort
>2.Prescribe the """"right"""" pill for it
>???
>4.Profit

>>9323899
This is why I can't be entirely opposed to SSRIs. I'm not fond of them, you know, especially given my experience with them; but, they genuinely help a lot of people, but they genuinely harm a lot of people. My father can't function without medication, really--he's suicidal and violent without meds.

That's amazing, though, I'm so, so glad you've been able to make such great strides in recovery. Power to you, anon!

>>9323521
Have you considered applying as a janitor on 4chan?

>>9323909
The problem is how indiscriminately and lazily all this stuff is prescribed. There are people who it works for and it has enough effects on mood for everyone who takes it to seem like it's "working" in some superficial way even when it's only masking underlying problems. Psychiatry needs to be a lot more subtle and nuanced than it is now to not basically be quackery masquerading as science behind a haze of drugs.

>>9323909
Thanks, bro.

>>9323655
been thinking about tying bukowski for a while

how should I start, some compilation pf short stories or maybe one of the novels?

>>9323477
feeling like shit trying to get further away from friends and just Be My Self, by my self. It's hard.

>>9323933
Beeing urself is a really terrible maymay to have fallen for, friendo. You shouldn't have taken the folksy aphoristic pop-psych pill.

>>9323930
I went with the poetry and found it made me feel better about my low-class life enough so that I felt Bukowski sort of makes it hip to be a nobody.

>>9323946
oh, that sounds perfect

thanks man

>>9323521
A Confederacy of Dunces

>>9323933
As someone who spends every hour of every day "being myself" in solitude, I counsel you not to distance yourself from the people who care about you.

>>9323477
>Super Dissolusioned with Romance after a series of really empty relationships.
>Spend all my time on my own acting like I enjoy my own company the most.
>Do wish I had more of a zest for people and going out but for the most part I just find it uncomfortable.

>INb4 Steppenwolf.

>>9323477
>in the Navy, stationed on a sub in WA, exactly where I wanted to go
>not really a hard life, but complain like everyone else about how shitty it is (if we aren't bitching, it's actually pretty bad)
>enjoy doing various stuff outdoors
>can't shake off the depression always nipping at the back of my mind, so just ignore it
>kinda feel like I'm a forgettable person even though everyone enjoys having me around
>reading books, training, and hiking are my solace, but when I'm not keeping my mind occupied, just get sad for no reason
>recently started focusing on my appearance more and have gotten a lot of compliments, so that's pretty nice
>Turns out I like this guy I work with, so that's new

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>probably dropping out of college this year, have no idea what I should do for living
>5'9 manlet but good looking and kinda suave
>have megalomaniac appetites for achievement, domination and adoration
>made Tinder profile 2 months ago, slowly getting addicted, dating 3 girls at the same time, it's getting ridiculous because I often lose track of what lies I'm telling to which one, especially when we're chatting over Facebook or something
>1 of the girls is a single mother and I think I might've impregnated the other
>women in general became a sort of expendable good, I haven't been in love in years, I'm only interested in having sex with them and parading them around like a status symbol pretty much
>actually I've been in love with this one girl who I broke up with a couple of months ago because she wouldn't have sex until marriage
>got back to reading 2 weeks ago, read Jonathan Livingston Seagull and hated it, moving on to Heart of Darkness
>in constant oscillation between eating healthy, working out and smoking, drinking, living like a 100% degenerate
>good at almost everything, but not excellent in anything

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>>9323477
>>9323493
>>9323509
>>9323521
>>9323613
>>9323632
>>9323682
>>9323699
>>9323733
>>9323757
>>9323773
>>9323778
>>9324185
>>9324358
>>9324442


SORT YOURSELF OUT

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>24
>just got a shitty part time job after finishing college 2 years ago
>no friends, no girlfriend of course
>my only passions are reading and jacking off to amateur crossdresser from the internet that i consider the epitome of feminity

>>9324480
Peterson's fun and all but he doesn't really say anything I haven't already considered myself.

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>Wake up at 04:30
>Be at the restaurant by 06:00
>Do morning prep
>Cook breakfast/lunch service from 09:00 to 15:00
>Break from 15:00 to 16:00/Afternoon prep or backups
>Cook dinner service from 16:00 to 21:00
>Flip and clean
>Usually home by 22:30

Repeat every day except Sunday.

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>19
>going to finish school one year later than my friends since I had to repeat a year due to depression and zero motivation
>balls deep in my finals atm, cant bring myself to study however because I will write good grades in history, politics, german and english with ease and fail at chemistry anyway
>should probably be happy that school is over and done with soon because our piece of shit education system is what almost lead to me suiciding and made me depressed but Im almost kind of sad since I only now start to connect with the people I go to school with
>going to university soon, will probably study history and philosophy
>excited to meet new people, mainly girls desu
>overweight fuck, starting to work on my health now and preparing for finally getting good at martial arts and starting MMA instead of just doing karate halfheartedly
>want to start writing and have many ideas for short stories but cant bring myself to start because I have no clue how to bring these ideas to paper, Im afraid that my writing will be either bland and uninteresting or just seem autistic and cringey
>this goes for both, philosophy and fiction
>want to make youtube videos discussing and interpreting movies and books, maybe some vidya related stuff but not for vapid youtube fame but just as an outlet, viewer community should ideally stay very small
>desperate for a girlfriend, could probably ask a certain girl out but Im afraid of rejection
>cant discuss philosophy or literature with my friends save for one because they only read limited boring stuff like game of thrones or other fantasy novels and no philophy at all, one doesnt know himself at all, can never explain and doesnt want to explain why he likes/ dislikes certain themes and elements in fiction, probably the most well adjusted to society out of all of us, the other is borderline autistic who thinks hes always in the right, unironic reddit tier atheist, both love about "le funny and stupid feminists" and watch edgy "humour" youtube videos, laugh about nazi and 9/11 jokes not because they are funny or witty but because of the topic alone, another friend is very funny and chill but doesnt like to talk about anything serious, last friend is true bro and the only one who I feel is on my level even if hes probably smarter than me which secretly urks me in a way even I myself ackknowledge as petty, we are training karate together and he tries his best to keep me motivated, honestly dont know why he even puts up with me
>tl,dr: Im afraid that Im a pseud and not nearly as smart as I think I am, feel inadequate to the great writers and philosophers, yet am one of the only two remotely smart and insightful people I know

>>9324571
ur fuking gay lmao

>>9324571
1. Focus on your health you lazy faggot.
2. write, it doesnt matter its bad. it will be bad, the sooner you get over that the better just write a lot.
3. Being smart is worthless if you cant apply your smarts. So stop considering yourself smart and start doing stuff.

uhuh, I've been looking forward to this.
>not doing the best in school while I could get what in America is a A++ every fucking time.
>feeling stupid 59 minutes out of 60 while having high IQ and knowing it.
>dead inside
>writing shit while my normal style is worth a Nobel.
>my relationship are a joke like those between gods and humans in greek paganism
>loving a girl but I don't feel worth of her, but I feel worth of conquering the world.
>dreaming of being the greatest human being in history but fleeing when I see a fucking mosquito.
>can't understand how many personality disorders I have, but I'm not even sure if I have any
>being Catholic and An-Cap but being some kind of NatSoc, even though how I said my views are totally different; you know, memes.
>living days like seconds and seconds like days, but that's an ordinary thing I guess.
that's all. I hope you all get better, God bless you.

>>9323477
Not gonna bother recommending anything, I'll just be called a cuck

>shift work so always tired
>good money though
>No plan for the future, just to keep writing
>have gf and friends and family whom I spend a decent amount of time with
>relish alone time when I get it and crave it always when I don't
>always dying for a drink
>obsessed with the idea that I'm never doing enough work, enough writing, enough reading

Asl?
22/m/aus

>>9323860
>no one on this board
Exactly

>>9324780
>shift work so always tired
>Asl?

fuckk off you wagecuck faggot

>Early 30s
>dissatisfied with job/career
>no clear goals
>life is empty and meaningless
>afraid to really put full effort into anything because I don't believe I am capable of success, so ironic detachment and cynicism is safer than genuine effort and optimism.
>this leads to intense self-loathing, only reinforcing the notion that nothing I do will ever work out

>>9324787
I got what I expected

>>9324561
Are you working 15 hours a day, 6 days a week? Where are you from and why do you work so much? 40 hours per week is usual where I live, so 90 hours feel like slavery...

>>9324561
Respect.

>>9324561
How much do you earn?

>>9324561
read wage labour and capital

>>9324561
this is what a human being should be doing

keep up the good work and don't listen to the faggots

>>9324839
Canada, working long hours for shit pay is expected in the food service industry.

>>9324878
About $60K CAD after taxes.

>engineering student senior year
>had one friend from high school, he moved away
>no gf
>kissless virgin
>probably ugly
>waste most of my time on the internet, still above average student though
>feel disappointed with myself all the time
>depressed because of health issues (digestive problems + vitiligo + psoriasis)
>should be studying for master's but I'm here with you lot
>will probably die alone

Value your health while you have it /lit/. You know these weird diseases can hit anyone, but you never really believe it'll be you, it can.

>>9323477

> studying law for 5 years
> feeling low and not motivated
> need a job, go to job fairs
> but rather waste the days on pc
> or dream about being super popular

not really going anywhere, sorry

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>>9323682
I wish you would be my best and only friend.
Try some houellebecq, it's pretty comfy in its bleakness.

>>9324933

no /lit/ recommendation here:
alpha m. styling guide? /fit/ life? get some acgua di gio, a good suit and a pair of monks. will make you easy on the eyes. we go from there.

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>>9325014
thank you, kind anon. i kept this thread open in a tab out of loneliness. thank you, thank you so much, for your both your warm words and your recommendation. i'd give you my email but i don't want you to feel obligated to speak to me.

>>9325054
>>9325014

Aw, get a room, you two.

No, seriously. d/l skype and just be friends already.

>29 autist neetbux supported housing virgin, approaching wizarddom at breakneck speed
>4hr a week job at a college through mental health center with a job coach
>pretty chill about it all, learning forex and excited about making more money, not exactly sure what I'm going to do with it though
>afraid of making too much money through forex so that I get kicked off the neetbux supported housing
>pretty certain that I'll just blow my account but still trying anyways
>spent yesterday entirely pacing in my house dreaming about being super rich and discussing with someone that I have no idea what to spend it on

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>last semester at good university
>studied something I didn't give a shit about for 4 years since no other major seemed interesting
>It was hard, and I enjoyed the heavy work load
>Only made two "friends", but they're really just people I drink with
>Have horrible social anxiety and bad social skills since I spend too much time alone
>Realize the only way to get over my anxiety is to socialize, but socializing isn't very fulfilling so whatever
>I read fiction more to feel miserable than anything, and I don't think that's healthy
>Figure since I don't like anything and I enjoy being overworked, I'll go to law school, so I got into a good one
>Only one girl has gone on moore than one date with me
>Didn't ask her why she didn't want to go out anymore. I assumed I was too distant
>Like to exercise, but I can't lift since the my ulnar nerves have been fucked for a couple of years
Thanks to the pharmaceutical Jew, I'm actually fairly content, desu

>>9323733
Sounds comfy af dude, what'd you publish?
Check out Rise and Fall of the Roman Empire

>Senior year master's degree student in finance
>Looking for a job but getting increasing jaded at the ridiculous hoops you have to jump through to even get an interview to compete with 50 other people
>Social life is completely gone, only ever talk to my mom outside of school
>Beginning to stutter and to slur words regularly
>Only real pleasure in life is fitness, including weight lifting, running, and cycling
>Fantasize about becoming a professional athlete or soldier or even a gym teacher, something that uses my physical capabilities
>Spend 2-3 hours every day jerking off to hentai, basically addicted to the endorphin release
>Hate capitalism more and more every day despite also being attracted to far right ideas

>in university getting shit grades in classes i don't care about
>hate everyone around me with the exception of a few people
>have no motivation to work on anything
>drug habits
>imagine shooting myself in the head average 17 times a day
pls help me not feel this anymore or give me the strength to actually pull the fucking trigger

>>9325219
I suppose you could drop out and live a little. Try getting an easy job and hanging out alone for a while to get some knowledge reading and learning about yourself.

>>9323618
Finnegans Wake - James Joyce

>>9325206
http://jockopodcast2.com/
Former navy seal that now does leadership seminars for businesses
check out https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/098836963X/ref=as_li_qf_sp_asin_il_tl?ie=UTF8&tag=jocko20-20&camp=1789&creative=9325&linkCode=as2&creativeASIN=098836963X&linkId=5f98d268f9af9860f609d592b4052ffb
The Armed Forces Officer
basically a discipline and leadership book, very clear and simple language
>>9325219
kevin hogan psychology of persuasion
What's happening is that you've convinced yourself that your life doesn't have value for some reason and that you're not enough, when you feel(on a subconscious level) that you cannot compete with others you lose hope and joy drains from your life.
What you need to do is pick a physical spot to journal down your thoughts and examine them. Really consider whether your thoughts are true or not, what they mean for your future, and make it a habit to just write down whatever you are thinking at the moment.
Your subconscious mind moves a whole lot faster than your conscious and will constantly work on these issues, plus the act of just doing anything with the intention of improving your situation convinces yourself on a primal level('your feelings') that you have more value and control over your life. This compounds over time, so if you're serious about improving your situation all you really need to do is keep reminding yourself that's what you want. Journaling allows you to use your logic to break apart and record your bullshit so you are better able to understand how full of shit all your negative thinking is and how it has no basis in reality.
I was personally convinced to do this myself through David Hogan's books, physical movement to a specified place for an activity is the most powerful way to convince yourself to keep a habit. In keeping the habit, you'll start to reverse your thinking on a subconscious level as your logic begins to prevail over your whinyness.
I spent about 8 years in therapy and didn't make as much progress as I did when I started journaling. Your mileage may vary, but the important thing to understand from Hogan's books is that you have literally no reason to feel like shit. People can be convinced of anything, it's just a matter of convincing yourself that you can do things and that you have things right now, it's not a quick fix or an easy fix but if you don't plan on offing yourself I suggest at least starting to climb the ladder to not believing you are a piece of shit.

>>9325291
kek!

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>>9325054
It's me again. Your email would be most welcome, but i cant guarantee i will respond. I'll try but right now i'm really really down myself and in the middle of some fucked up situation.
I really really dont want to let you down.
I love schiele too.

>off to college soon
>uninterested in playing music like I used to
>picking up reading recently
>romantic life a picture perfect memory from a few years ago
>just learned like five chords on guitar

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>>9323477
>currently reading (for the last year): The Forever War (breddy gud)
>25
>finished college
>wasted alot of time in moms basement
>was 2 years unemployed
>suicidal because of the stuff /pol/ talked about
>then a sudden change
>i get employed in 2015
>have a decent work and earn a decent amount of money
>finally have the money to buy books and not waste it on other stuff
>aparment above my parents is free
>take it and go to work
>work my ass off
>have a lot of books but not the time to read any of them (or the passion)
>all my coworkers and friends think im some kind of Mennonite because i have a strict work ethic and belief
>but i use to be around parties and so on
>i'm still a quite and introverted guy
>was in France for 3 months (working)
>still crap though
>never get the time to read
>meet the women of my dreams (she leaves me after half a year)
>depressed and literally don't read for half a year
>dont write anything
>half a year i gain weight
>now im midly chubby
>i currently try to get fit
>still have no time to read or write
>still working at the same company
Aside from the rest of my life ... i want to follow my dreams. I want to write and read. Even if you are employed one way or the other ... it doen't make you happier. I wont quite my job but i wish i could just read and write to earn a living.
Work in general is fine but i feel how my head and my mind are decaying. If i wouldn't have work or a gf or whatever ... i would write all day long.

So trust me when i say this: If writing and reading are your favourite things (or in my case dreams) then follow them.

Why are we so depressed /lit/?

>>9325379
What do you do?

Also, it's funny that you used the word "quite" incorrectly, not once, but twice instead of two different words, "quiet" and "quit".

>>9325379
Just find an easier job, bro. Try working night shift somewhere where you don't have to do a lot of work and can read at your job.

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>>9325441
>being german
>not englisch
The problem is not the understanding. You see i try to get my point across.
>What do you do?
Management clerk for order processing. Don't know what it means in englisch
>>9325466
Yeah you are right. Thank you for the suggestion.
>>9325424
Mostly because we dont get anything done. We have either no motivation or time.

>8/10 gf
>studying finance
>use to be ripped but got chubby recently
>use to do drugs, but stopped all of that
> got my own one room place with internet
>26
>read quite abit, play baduk, meditate, produce music
>no real friends tho because le drugs

r8

>>9325559
And even those of us who do get things done are doomed to languish in obscurity, poverty, and/or loneliness due to our generally disagreeable sensibilities, aesthetic, sexual, philosophical, or otherwise.

>22
>part time job in a record store, 15-20 hours a week
>working on English degree with education licensure in secondary education (high and middle school)
>about to enter the professional/unpaid student teaching year come june
>part time job shuttering its doors in july
>saved up money but still feeling anxiety at going 10-12 months without pay
>moving back in with parents once out of a job (currently have 5 roommates so the rents low but fuck i won't be able to afford it sooner or later)
the anxiety is killing me

>20
>I'm an A student but dropping out of uni because I hate it
>fiancee (who's graduating in May) and I are moving to China in the fall to teach English while we figure shit out
>going to be spending the summer working at full-time at McDonalds, and saving my money with the exception of a couple regional music festivals

>>9323493
Help me understand Notes from the Underground please.

I am on Chapter 6 and unsure of what I'm even reading at this point.

>>9325688
It's the 19th century Russian version of /r9k/

>on the last year of my math degree, hate most classes but have a couple of good ones.
>i don't wanna drop out.
>the only thing that feels me with pleasure is going out on weekends and getting absolutely shitfaced
>get drunk and horny and fuck whatever the fuck appears in my way

>>9324805

Don't know of a book for you.

Destroy your ego. Utterly rip it to shreds. That does not mean "beat yourself down". That does not mean "convince yourself you are worthless". It means "work at the things you want and allow yourself to suck".

It's just work. Whatever you decide to start doing, it is just a task and it means nothing about you. Improve where possible. If the work is shit, you are not shit. Take out the shit in the work and improve it. Do these things not because you want to be good at them, but because you want to do them. People don't make achievements by beating the hell out of themselves every time they fail.

>>9325723
>what are senior-level math courses like in college anyways? what do you do?

>21
>live with parents
>no job or school, dropped out of college a year ago because I didn't care about the basic classes and didn't want to do the work
>no dreams
>no ambitions
>no friends
>no "real" hobbies(used to read but then got into the internet, used to play guitar but dropped it because learning took too long)
>antisocial
>don't really care about anything
>fuck around on the internet/play games/watch shows all day
>actually pretty happy and content

>>9325206
>Looking for a job but getting increasing jaded at the ridiculous hoops you have to jump through to even get an interview
such as?

>>9325758
>destroy ego
How?

>>9325968
same on that last part

I dunno why people here think having nothing to do is such a bad thing. I enjoy a not goal-oriented lifestyle. I mean I have a job that I do 30 hours a week, $15 an hour pay, but its enough to cover food and rent and I have so much freetime elsewhere to just goof off

Sad thread tbqh

>>9326026
Sad board really.

>>9326017
I think most people have a "drive" and get satisfaction out of doing things and working, so when they see someone not doing that they think it's wrong or they have depression or something.
I just don't have that, don't really care if I don't do anything productive.

>late 20s
>married to high school sweetheart
>bought a house last year, lots of excitement in making improvements to it
>also finally engaging in hobbies that were hindered by apartment living (like woodworking and gardening)
>first kid will be born soon
>job that will allow for staying at home with the kid and remaining dual income
>days are relaxed and filled with time (mostly) well-spent with each other

>>9324882
why?

>>9323477
>good life
>making decent money
>cool family
>learning new language
>got into running
>no gf
>still cry myself to sleep every few months from fear of dying alone

what read?

>>9326112
The Corrections. Never read it, but I here it's good and it seems fitting

>>9326203
hear fuck

>>9326062
You're a god desu.

>>9326062
living the fucking life, so idk, catch up on the classic you haven't read yet

>>9326237
Thanks, anon. I've been doing that, and reading through a lot of nostalgic children's books. Wind in the Willows right now.

>>9325328
anon, are you still here? I took a nap and don't want to post it without you here.

>>9323613
you seem nice. how old are you?

>>9323690
>but it seems like your moral compass is already skewed as fuck
Either you don't know what moral compass means or you're deliberately being unnecessarily mean.

>>9323477
>Fiance broke up with me over a disagreement
>gets with her obsessive stalker that stalked her and my family for close to a year just to spite me
>says horrible things about me to anyone that will listen
>feeling so depressed that I actually want to be a wageslave for a bit despite having fortunate circumstances that allow me to never have to work
All in all I feel pretty shit. Is there any book that describes the feeling of knowing that no matter how bad things are right now, they're just going to keep getting worse in the most absurd way possible?

>>9326203
That's interesting actually! Why do you think it fits?

>>9326288
Anon, if she was the type to leave you over something trivial, date someone to spite you and shit talk that much, she wasn't someone worth marrying. You "dodged a bullet". Be thankful you hadn't actually married yet.

>>9326288
What the fuck, your ex-fiance seems like quite the fucking cunt, hope your life gets better my guy. A book that remind me of the situation you suggested would be The Trial, and if you like films than basically anything by the Coen brothers, particularly Inside Llewyn Davis

>>9326288
Your life is already incredible. You don't need any advice.

>>9326304
The whole nice family, yet paranoid and sad undercurrent seems to be similar to the life you are leading

>>9323477
No fucking clue why Welcome to the NHK wasn't suggested yet, great book.

>>9326312
Welp, I'm sold. Thanks for the suggestion!

>>9326314
Because it's weebshit.

>management consultant
>spend only a few hours a week working from home but no one seems to notice
>read and write all day
>do lots of cocaine on weekends
>probably addicted to kratom
>girlfriend complains i never eat her out
>only do it when im really drunk sometimes
>dont even dislike it, just not sure

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>26
>Work in policy and research in public health
>make decent money
>take drugs and party in the weekends
>good group of friends who are intelligent, curious and motivated
>work of a volunteer youth organization that is progressive, pragmatic and solutions focused
>keep fit, cycle, swim, run and lift
>read heaps, leaning more towards non-fiction than fiction
>into cultural criticism
>appreciate going to poetry readings, film festivals, talks, gallery openings
>learning how to code in R
>broke up with cute korean gf last year
>into hiking and mountaineering,
>H8 bureaucracy
>love theory
>prefer praxis

>>9326307
I definitely dodged a bullet, but it doesn't make me feel any better about the situation. There were huge red flags and a ton of baggage to begin with, but I accepted her because I genuinely cared about her. Now I just feel lost and genuinely disillusioned when it comes to love and relationships and general, to the point where I doubt that I can get over it and allow myself to love somebody again.
>>9326308
I have a copy of The Trial on my shelf, and it's been on my list. I'll go ahead and read it, thanks anon.

>>9326310
Incredibly absurd, it's a wild ride that never ends. Just when I think the track is straightening out a bit, I hit another fucking loop da loop

>19

>college sophomore studying math & CS, doing well grade-wise

>been stuck in a deep depression for a couple of years now; medication and therapy helps but i still have panic attacks and suicidal ideation

>bisexual but because of ingrained homophobia from religious mother (who still doesn't know) and degeneracy memes from FrogTwitters that I follow out of humor, somewhat ashamed of being attracted to men and only really have gay trysts when I'm drunk off my mind

>have had a number of hookups because I've completely bought in to the commoditization of casual sex between young people in urban environments and the abject destruction of the structure of monogamy; because of this, have been in one meaningful relationship

>really hate being single and miss cuddling my henpecking emotional mess of a cunt ex-gf

>love going to bars and house parties, not because I'm extroverted by any stretch of the imagination, but because it's the only environment in which its mildly acceptable to excuse yourself to a drunken vomit-laden stupor, which is the only state of mind in which conversing with other people doesn't leave me an anxious mess

>want to go into academia, at least a PhD but preferably end up with tenure at a good uni; obviously passionate about math and CS but unsure to what degree I want to go down this path to feel intellectually superior and liken myself to Will Hunting, "A Beautiful Mind", etc., all while avoiding the miserable 9-to-5 industry bugman life that would presumably entail a loathsome level of expertise with Excel

>student
>18, about to graduate high schoo
>not very well read, but likes Infinite Jest, Fitzgerald, McCarthy, Vonnegut
>Spends most of time listening to music (Exile on Main St currently)
>only thing doing this spring break is a Mount Eerie concert
>repressed, light sadness
>romantic life was a few excursions where someone cheated on their lover with me, didn't fuck though
>fan of recreational drugs, loves terence mckenna
>suffers from visual noise, probably from tinnitus/ LSD/ one massive migraine I had a year ago
>excellent at percussion instruments but doesn't have fun anymore


>>9326324
Bret Easton Ellis, Less Than Zero or American Psycho

>>9326324

Story of the eye by George Bataille
Utopia of Rules by David Graeber

>>9326062

Atlas Shrugged

>>9326371
story of the eye looks great

is utopia of rules actually good?

>>9326367
have read when younger, thought ap was funny

forgot to mention im a bit lost with what im trying to do with my life, not that it gives me that much anxiety, but i definitely dont give a fuck about work

>>9326387
Why Rand?

>>9326390

dam good read, it has a lot of momentum and great depth of criticism on bureaucracy

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>use fragmentary, nonsensical thought experiments to distract self from suicide while laying around with my fists in my eyes usually and other times waining between the total and clean life and something altogether impure
>tortured by the impossibility of asceticism, the inconceivability of a vascular and constructive way of living, not ever being able to make myself speak
>every second of interaction plagued with torture of how are we even talking
>has been like this for years now
>dropped out, lost every friend, live in grandmother's basement
>favorite author is don delilo but I think I am dead
>learning Japanese and harboring visions of Nippon at least

>>9326395

perspective, cause your life (assuming you are OP) is totally not like that. so it gives a counter-narrative, a outside frame

>>9326400

Asterix and Obelisk

>>9326400
take some LSD, my guy, life becomes much brighter. It may seem rude to say this also, but sometimes forcing yourself into interaction with others makes you more comfortable and force you into a better mindset

>>9326400
also hope things get better for you

>>9326402
Most of those were concrete descriptions though, not subjective. The last one is the only one that could really be skewed--but we're making sure to fill our time well right now since the kid's coming along soon.

Unless you're just saying I'm lying about my situation.

>>9323521

The Four Agreements - Don Miguel Ruiz

>>9326400
save up. take a plane to peru and then to iquitos. find a shaman beforehand. spend a week or so taking ayahuasca. never look back. seriously.

>>9326342

plz halp

>>9326721
the ego and its own

>>9323477
>20 years old
>studying math
>anxiety about future, not sure what i want to do, change plans constantly
>work at grocery store on the weekends
>intensely disillusioned w/ modern society, feel alienated from most of my friends and family a good amount of time. feelings of loneliness oscillate constantly with a manic love for the "empty space around me"
>regularly develop intense feelings for girls across the world based on their instagram posts, dont generally have any feelings for women i meet IRL
>enjoy acting, trying to pursue it a bit more seriously but dont want to work on entry level projects that are awful
>by most accounts physically attractive but spergy, have dated around but haven't had a serious relationship since i was 18. constantly going on first dates and then never texting girls again
>most days skip all my classes, wake up at 3 pm, read a bit, fuck around on the internet, go to the gym, hang out with my roommates, then read/study/talk with internet friends until 6 am

>>9326834
amsterdam stories

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>>9326729

>23
>depressed, no friends but kind of don't want any
>studying for CPA exam
>work and go to school full-time for my master's
>constantly think of how fulfilling having a gf is but realize that girls only like outgoing and muscular guys; shy and average guys don't get gfs
>feel like it's all hopeless someetimes
>spend too much time on /pol/; the memes are too good

>>9326942
>shy and average guys don't get gfs
yes they do, most people in life get gfs at some point anon, make an honest tinder/ okcupid profile and you will meet someone

>>9326962
>make a tinder/okcupid profile
This is absolutely horrendous advice. Exposing someone who is already depressed to concentrated whores and disgusting casual sex will just depress and disillusion him even further.

>>9326962
easily 15-30% of men never attain a longer than 1-3 date relationship with any woman ever. Don't be foolish, this is becoming especially problematic in East Asian countries and will continue to grow as LoL and OW type games become the new social scene for middle range men. Enjoy your sterile liberal dystopia

>>9326968

you sound sad

>>9326968
okcupid is good because their algorithms are question and interest based

>>9326990
the girls are also on average slightly less slutty and ever so slightly less attractive/picky. So if you're not a ladykiller its an easy way to boost confidence.

>>9326962
I kind of hope you're right. I tried Tinder last year, got about 250 matches but deleted it after about 4 months. I would guess that many of them were fake accounts. A few girls messaged me but the messages weren't of any substance.

>Graduated from college a year ago
>Work at a library and a convenience store
>Currently living in Massachusetts suburban childhood home with parents
>Desperately want to move to a place that isn't Massachusetts
>Been going to Catholic Mass most weeks since moving home from college, which has actually made me more and more convinced that Luther was right all along
>Spend my free time smoking weed, watching Netflix, playing vidya, reading philosophy and history books/essays
>Feel that I have nothing interesting or original or useful to say, so don't bother writing anything, even though my degree is grounded in writing skills
>Social life consists of occasionally driving an hour-plus to Boston to get drunk and stoned with college friends who share an apartment
>Haven't gotten laid in a year
>Last date (a year ago) ended with me throwing up in the bathroom of a seedy bar and never again talking to the girl with whom you were out because you were too ashamed of throwing up in her presence

>>9326400
I was with you until you told us you're a weeb, kys.

>>9326367
this is me, someone give me recs

>>9326974
>>9326968
fuck off, its not bad

>>9327007
people throw up my guy, if she judges you for that then fuck them. also, writing doesn't have to be wholly original, it can be cathartic to literally just write your mind.

>>9327007
All 2nd person conjugations in the last line should be in 1st person, whoops

>>9326979
I am, but that has nothing to do with my post. It's common knowledge that things like tinder either depress you even further or turn you into a soulless sex ghoul.

>>9327030
people can still find people for them there, and okcupid is designed for long term relationships. tinder can be a gateway into enjoying personal contact

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>former dropout, back in college
>absolutely love music, not pretentiously, not a /mu/tant, genuinely interested
>Wish I could love books just as much, and I do, I reread old notes from back when I read Paradise Lost, Moby Dick and such
I just don't enjoy it enough to make time for it.
Recc' me a short story or such

>>9327027
>people throw up my guy, if she judges you for that then fuck them.
Well, she wasn't particularly attractive and the conversation we were having wasn't that interesting. Throwing up in front of her was just the clincher. We met on tinder, anyway, it's no great loss.
>also, writing doesn't have to be wholly original, it can be cathartic to literally just write your mind.
I'm aware of this, and I occasionally do write things (I guess I exaggerated), but there's not really anything that I feel like I have to say at the moment. When I feel like I need text-based catharsis, I post on a chan. Maybe I could try synthesizing my philosophical notebooks into one text. I've thought about doing that.
I came here for book recs, though, not life advice.
>>9327037
Tinder can also be a great way to get humiliated by a heartless bitch trying to get free weed out of male saps.

>>9327027
its much worse than you think and it will get progressively worse as the internet integrates with AR/VR tech and as bio-tech stimulation of the senses advances. Just wait, the pleasure pods from minority report were nothing compared to what is in store for the burgeoning population of incels.

>>9327050
I'll be fucking dead by the time this shit happens. I'm going to choose to not be paranoid, and if I'm wrong I guess we will see. Take life as it hits me.

>>9327046
>Genuinely interested in music
>Recommend short stories
You might like The String Quartet by Virginia Woolf. Very short, and Woolf's attempt at combining language and music

>>9323477
>Wake up at 10am
>Go to classes
>Half-Heartedly do school work
>Struggle with sexuality
>Do amphetamines and drink
>Play Magic the gathering or Video Games
>Go to sleep at 5am
>Cycle makes me feel more sleep deprived everyday

>>9326277
he's mine bitch

>>9323682
>18
stopped reading here

>>9323723
The Tunnel by William Gass

>>9323773
Wow this chick seems really cool and deep

>>9323778
this is exactly me except I already graduated, have a job writing recruitment emails to web devs, and I only get to travel 2 weeks. I feel pretty fine and you're objectively better than me along three dimensions

>>9323831
>Megan Boyle
It was by Claire Boucher

>>9327063
wtf why don't you go to bed earlier?

>>9324758
>being Catholic and An-Cap but being some kind of NatSoc, even though how I said my views are totally different; you know, memes.

this is so inherently contradicting that you have to be just intelligent enough to have heard the terms but not smart enough to know what they mean. think about how an actual Catholic would feel about NatSoc or Ancapistan... have you ever heard of the dunning kruger effect?

>>9324916
this makes no sense. are you saving for something? you have no time for anything but work. what the fuck is the matter with you?

>>9327110
Amphetamines/School Work
Distract myself from doing school work, so I end up having to do my school work late every night, take amphetamines to stay up, amphetamines keep me up later than I want. Vicious cycle. Get sleep on the weekends usually.

>>9327128
You sound like someone who shouldn't be in school, desu.

>>9325184
I'm willing to bet the computer they give you at work isn't even plugged in

>>9327131
One of the best in my major. Go to an honor college one of the top in the US. Doing a talk for COPLAC, earned a trip to ireland last summer for bloomsday, did some research there, teachers always love my essays, etc. Just have bad habits.

>>9327151
Whether or not you're a good student, those 'bad habits' are clearly worse for your body and mind than your education is good for them.

>>9327153
Eh, sartre was worse/i know people worse than me. plus I sleep on weekends.

>>9323477
>Writing all the time
>Self-Publishing on Amazon
>Not a single sale
>Living on disability
>Pop Tarts are yummy

>>9327158
Sartre was a fucking P.O.W.

>>9326324
kek

Halp

>>9327164
i mean what do you want me to say? I just wanna book to read so I can feel some understanding.

>>9326342
using this for my Tinder. Sorry if you get investigated for rape

>>9327181
I don't want you to say anything, I want you to get enough sleep. Go find a human, books don't 'understand' anything, nor do their authors 'understand' what you're experiencing. Do you study literature?

>>9326968
if he's going on Tinder and he's not that bad, he can expect that other not-bad people will have made the same decision

>>9327189
I mean I get that a human could offer an opposing standpoint, but I want representation of my experience as well. Not mutually exclusive actions I can take. didnt come to this thread to be chastised, just for lit recommendations.

>18 white male australian, upper-middle class
>first year arts degree
>writing and reading pretty regularly, tryna improve myself and learn new things
>pretty autistic but ive learned how to socialise with people
>still struggle a lot with unfamiliar social situations so i stay away from clubs and the like
>have small friendship group, hang with them pretty regularly
>got a crush on my friends twin sister but im way too beta to make a move
>unemployed but im planning to get a job in the winter break coming up
>spend most of my free time playing vidya/watching cartoons
>used to be really depressed and suicidal but i turned my shit around
>socially progressive, disillusioned with capitalism but unsure on what would be a better alternative
>no clue what i want to do in the future

>26 m kissless virgin
>work 3-3 or 7-7 on weekdays, started connecting with one coworker but he was fired for some bullshit last thursday. theres a qt ive asked out there but she said no. it didnt turn out awkward and im just glad i asked her. some guys have started to let me know im a sure shot for a extruder operator position im actually interested in.
>I like to work on my car, installed coilovers and various other suspension parts that i destroyed as a result of slamming a 16 year old car for fun, and its getting my neighbors attention in a positive way.
>I dont have any hobbies or friends so i just play overwatch, walk around the city, jack off like 10 times a week, and maybe i read one book a month. most recent "a moment in the sun" john sayles because its cover looked great and im addicted to checking how well a book is rated on goodreads because my own interests are so shallow.
>for some reason i volunteered to help with this public library book sale thats this next weekend. ive never volunteered for anything like that but i went to the last one and i dont do anything anyway so ...

>>9327030
you can definitely find someone to be in a long term relationship with on Tinder. I've had two serious-ish things start and they both could have worked out, I just fumbled them low-key on purpose

>>9327202
>representation of my experience
There is no such thing.

>>9327210
how deep
you get what I mean

>>9327225
No, I honestly don't.

>>9327209
You don't find virgins on Tinder and those are the only girls worth marrying.

>>9327242
something i can empathize with... i want affect, i want to insist my will upon the text, i dont want that derridian play or baudrillardian stuff, who cares about anti-representational theory when i wanna read in a way that lets me empathize.

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>>9327126
I love the kitchen life.

Always trading food for drinks from the bar. Closing down a shitty night with a beer is always the best feeling.

Being with your homies when its 5 minutes to close and having a 8/10/15 top all walk in at the same fucking time.

The feels when you come in and the guy before hasn't done shit all for prep or even fucking cleaned/refilled/flipped a goddamn thing for you. 911s out the ass and doing everything on the fly just to close and leave it better than the ass fuck who left it for you.

Constantly talking shit to everyone around, head out to the bar after close just to drink and talk more shit.

Industry has my heart and I don't think of doing anything else.

The people I work with are my brothers and sisters. I wouldn't want to go through the weeds with anyone else. Bonded by blood and flame.

>>9327256
heartwarming

>24yo male
>volparent'shouse
>work remote job with flexible hours, 20-40/week
>typically 20, spend rest of my time shitposting, watching specifically survival horror speedruns, and reading iconoclastic philosophy
>sober in AA
>full sitcom cast of insane and criminal friends to dance and hike with
>plain crazy and have to watch myself carefully to be good
>content to be broken and love other broken people - have "Damaged" pectoral tattoo and vape
>gotta go to dunkies and buy a fuckin suboxone for my kid's mother

>>9327256
alright that makes perfect sense thank you. I was thinking of reading Kitchen Confidential because one of my friends in college had a similar thing for the lifestyle. seems really interesting

>approaching the one year anniversary of the death of my unofficial mother-in-law; the 11th this month
>it happened very suddenly when someone ran a red light as she was driving to work that morning
>haven't been able to stop thinking of losing someone else suddenly,like my aging dad, my brother stationed overseas, or my fiance
>i end up matching my mood to everyone else's to feel like i'm recovering with them, but i'm still always scared and think about them dying
>during the past year i felt more motivated than ever to study and write and complete at least a couple of my projects
>if not for the accomplishment, just to take my mind off of things
>all of my writing before she died were so cheerful i can't look at them anymore

>>9327293
>>content to be broken and love other broken people - have "Damaged" pectoral tattoo and vape
>literally wearing your psychological problems like a badge of honor

They're called "problems" for a reason: they're meant to be solved.

>>9324933
Models by Mark Manson.

>>9325624
I'm also 22, studying English education, about to enter student teaching, and move back in with my parents.

>>9323477
>going to bed later and later each day
>gotta get up at 6 nearly every morning to go to classes in the city for the whole day
>don't get time to talk to folks, so i have a lot of time to think
>constantly thinking of all the things i've done wrong, even though i've done plenty right
>failures with women are most apparent as that's the area i've had the least success in
>days i don't have classes, i sleep in a little but stay in room for most of the day
>waste time on computer when i could be reading, writing, or doing anything productive
>really tired
>kinda bored
>long for success and validation
>lonely
>feel i need a woman, even though i suppose i don't
>maybe i want sex or maybe it's for somebody to want me back
>really want to go on a trip to climb the Rockies over the summer, maybe all by myself on a train

>>9327414
also
>going to college to be an English teacher

>>9327325
For one More Day - Mitch Albom

>>9326017
living for oneself (having no goals) is a selfish lifestyle

PROS:
>almost done school and a related job should be pretty easy to get
>going to propose to my girlfriend in a month
>move in together this summer
CONS:
>I realized half way through school I don't really enjoy my field and will have my soul crushed if I work there too long
>would rather be a culture/political critic but suck at getting my ideas out quickly and coherently
>already realizing how bad my mid-life crisis is gonna be

>10am - wake up
>10am - 12:30 pm - have breakfast and read
>12:30pm - 2 pm - go for a run or go to the gym
>2:30pm - 12 am - work
>12:30pm - 1:30 am - have supper and waste time online
>1:30am - 2:30 am - write
>2:30am - go to sleep

It's pretty much the same every day. I would like to write more, but I'm happy with this for the moment, at least it is realistic, and work is pretty demanding. Having literally no friends may make you feel like you are wasting your life, but it helps greatly in keeping a routine.

I had a new job that didn't last a year before I got laid off. I was about to move out of my roach-infested apartment and rent a house with a friend. Instead I had to move in with my parents, where privacy is non-existent. I sleep on the couch and my only alone time is the few hours at night before I become too tired to stay up. My senior citizen father is also out of work and is endlessly searching for a position in the medical field. My mother just had a seizure and we almost thought we lost her. She has yet to go back to work. I have managed to land some contract work and have spent my time traveling between couches. What should I read?

>>9324571
you sound like a fucking child, grow some balls

>20 year old, English ed major
>zero ambition in life
>daily pot smoker
>craves an intimate relationship for the first time, but lacks an motivation to make an effort to do that
>Essentially, simply existing every day without accomplishing anything other than merely getting by.

>>9323733
i love you

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>>9327576

Same, except I only smoke about once or twice a month.

We should read pic related.

>>9327184

kekek

>>9326048
Sad site, if we're to be entirely honest.

>>9326318
Read The Recognitions instead. It's a lot better in every concievable way.

>working a job that i am not good at and hate
>day dream about the qt.314 receptionist
>do not talk to her, but constantly imagine our life together
>been doing alot of coke, drinking alot more
>for some reason coke makes me write more
>slowly realizing i'll either kill myself someday soon or just drop everything and let death find me

>>9327584
Seems like my kind of way to get by. Might have to give it a read even though I'm not a big Scott Adams fan

>22
>haven't worked in 2 years
>haven't gone to college
>severe dissociative amnesia
>easily distracted from everything
>pick up new hobbies frequently only to lose interest
>as such, can't be productive for shit
>my passion and urge to write, draw, 3D model etc. are spiking
>have always had a relatively simple and easily obtainable "dream"/plan in life
>no drive to do anything
>stuck
>more like I'm walking backwards at the same speed of the escalator I'm on that is going forward

>wagecuck
>full time student
>treated with contempt from patents
>feel like I'm becoming more and more of a misanthropust

>>9327610
Just keep writing and drop that coke shit. Try being original by being the first writer to not use coke.

>>9327610
Just keep writing and drop that coke shit. Try being original by being the first writer to not use coke

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>>9326260
I'm still here buddy. I had to go to sleep earlier than usual cause i have some medical exams tests today. You can post it I'm checking the thread. Take care.

>unemployed and already spent months trying to find a job
>Living with gf at moment but both of us getting crushed by things out of our control; gf will probably move away in a few months
>Morbidly awkward socially
>Constantly tormented by the smallest embarrassments from the past
>reading a lot of historical fiction atm; just finished Robert Graves'a books on Claudius and currently reading Prus's Pharaoh

>Socially thriving but existentially dying
>No job and half-assing my way through community college because lol poor
>Longing for a deep connection with someone instead of the meaningless parties and hookups I've been experiencing
>Constantly feel like I'm being overbearing or burdening towards my friends
>Might be slipping into a sort of blissful insanity due to a recent uptick in the long term effects of a bad drug trip from years ago
>Am currently seriously considering offers to write papers for people and/or film an acquaintances sex tape for cash.
>>9327830
If you want historical fiction on an almost autistically large scale, I recommend basically any Edward Rutherford novel. London and Princes of Ireland are both really good places to start. The writing style isn't particularly difficult to get through, though at times it can be a little dry and academic. Books range from 800-1200 pages and cover the (real) history and (mostly fictional) people that populated specific geographic areas.

>>9323477
>At a shitty college, hate it
>Getting ready to go to a top-30 law school
>All my friends either are gone, are annoying, or had a falling out with me.
>I hate the person I've been until about two months ago. I mildly dislike the person I am now.

>>9324512
The most important distinction he makes is between thinking and doing.

>>9327882
the Holy Bible
>seriously

>>9327777
>Twilight of the Idols, Nietzsche
>Art of War
Follow these and rise

>>9327941
I have an American Standard that I read from quite frequently. I've read pretty much cover to cover with the exception of the lineages and the very last bit of Revelations. Got anything else?

>>9327952
The Red Badge of Courage
Then check out some of Jordan Peterson's shit on youtube.

>>9326277
19 m8. I'm the nicest guy you know

>>9327064
hello m. how are you today?

>25
>been a neet for about a year after bad breakup
>slowly becoming more and more of a shut-in
>most days have no human interaction
>no hopes and dreams for the future
>read to run from thoughts of suicide

>22
>Europe
>studying with the intention of going into academia, went well for a while and I got a job at a research project
>now I'm sluggish and foggy-headed and feel unable to put in the necessary work on my assignments
>becoming a worse student, people at the research job realize I'm not what I pretended to be

>meanwhile
>in this romantic affair thing with a girl in a long-term relationship but it feels more and more childish and doomed
>her bf and I were friends for years
>entire social circle gone now, but it's not that bad
>not reading much but at least I'm reading at all
>writing a decent amount but realized I'm not a prodigy or even good at it

>still living at home
>supportive family, but want to move out (no money though)
>feel like everything meaningful in my life is slowly retreating from view
>only thing that's left is my terminal fear of mediocrity, but it feels like I'm on the path to mediocrity already

>>9323493
Sorrows of young werther

>>9328321
The Loser

Also what did she do to you exactly?

>>9328594
If you're thinking of them in autismo-terms like "potential love interest" you've already fucked up, son. Better hope they're as spergy as you.

>>9327121
Yeah, I have. You underestimated the value of my "you know, memes". Also, while I may understand the contradiction between being NatSoc and the other two, the latter aren't in conflict, are they?

>>9327816
[email protected]

>>9323477
>Wake up at 7 am
>Go to school at 8 am, stay until 6 pm
>Dinner at 6 30
>Hit the gym at 8 30, until 10 30
>Go home, read, write, listen to music

I started going to the gym a month ago and it fucking put my life back on tracks. School's going great, i feel confident af with girls etc. 10/10 would recommend.
/fitlit/ is underrated

>>9324951

No recommendation; must be a signal to stop reading/procrastinating.

>>9328839
Something banal and utterly unremarkable like Tai Pei.

>>9328830
Céline - Journey Through The End Of The Night

>Recently hospitalized, got operated.
>Getting better
>Lost my dream job because of it and a shitty contract.
>Me and gf don't have sex anymore.
>Want ti ho back ti study. Idk I have enough money.

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>>9323477
>studying literature at uni, it's going well
>writing every couple days
>mostly reading on the train, sometimes before I go to sleep
>been with my girlfriend for more than 2 years, everything's good
>people tell me I'm goot at writing
>poor as fuck though
>if this goes on we'll have to leave the apartment and I'll either be on the streets or have to move to my father's, 10000 kilometers away from here, in a shithole I hate, where I won't be able to get good education

F U C K
U
C
K

>>9323477
get a job you git

>med student
> grades are high marks
>everything is going the way I want
>getting gains in the gym like crazy

>gf broke up with me cause she doesn't feel a spark anymore
>this one aspect of my life is slowly creeping into all other places

>>9328934
Eden! It's an endless World - Endo Hiroki

>med student but not crazy about it, grades are decent
>first long term relationship in a while, let's see what comes out
>poorly versed in philosophy but enough to be relatively safe from sudden mindblows
>slightly devoid of passion, scared to find new ones or pursue old ones, unsure if within capacity to succeed

>>9328956

Enchiridion of Epictetus

>go to bed at 10, 11
>up at 9, whatsapp briefing with boss about day's work
>work for 4 hours on and off
>go for a walk, sit in the park for 40 minutes writing ideas in notebook
>come home, type it up
>evening spent working on my novel, dossing about on the internet, reading

Is anyone willing to give some genuine advice please?

>26 years old
>worked at a start-up company since I was 22
>work is very basis data-entry type stuff
>pay is pretty good for someone with no skills
>don't want to work in this line of work forever
>afraid that in a few years I'll find myself with a decent amount of money but barely any skills
>applied for a Masters in librarianship
>accepted
>waiting to hear if I'm awarded a scholarship for previous high achievers
>girl in my apartment committed suicide last week while I was there
>spent the week sleeping on people's sofas
>phoned my boss on Friday and told him I've decided to move on
>he told one or two of my coworkers not sure if others know
>relaxed over the weekend
>now back in work
>panicking that I probably won't actually enjoy studying to be a librarian an then slaving away in libraries for less money
>considering emailing my boss and asking if we can talk next week so I can withdraw my resignation
>don't enjoy this job however and previous fears re: skills still exist
>feel I will be indebted to keep this job and not complain about it should I decide to withdraw my resignation and continue working here

>>9328990

If you were relaxed over the weekend, you probably felt good about your decision. I would pursue the library avenue, it seems you want to do it. Your life sounds pretty good desu.
You've already worked at the job for 4 years at such a young age, it is very natural to want to move on while you're still young and pursue another avenue.

All the best, anon

.>>9323477
>loser
>zero motivation
>le ebin feel sorruy for self/ bad childhood trying to not remember
>fail to see the point in trying or putting in effort
>skating by on as little effort as mild alcoholism requires

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>>9325968
>>actually pretty happy and content
DELETE

>>9329001
The thing is I've read up on library jobs a lot over the weekend and although it seems like an okay job for someone of my disposition, I am currently earning good money and if I'll be working the same hours for less money and having to talk to students or customers all day I think I'd be bummed out by that.

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>>9323477
Sort yourself out.

>>9326288
holy shit, that sounds like a dream come true for the stalker

>>9328807
With that email, I'm tempted to correspond with you. Alas, I don't have the courage. I'll content myself by letting you know that I think you seem to be a good person and that I pity you. You have a future.
maybe read Moby Dick or Anna Karenina

>every time I think about improving my life I meet with a looming sense of anxiety and dread
>spend most of my time lurking 4chan and looking at hentai
>haven't spoken to anyone outside my immediate family in 4 months
>read a lot of history

no friends, love only one thing : la france, middle age, stuck at home in childhood

NEET for a decade, live with parents, plagued by regrets and flashbacks of mistakes.

>>9329265
Are you being ironic? If so it really isn't very nice.

>>9329287

Wut? In what context could that be interpreted as irony?

>>9329292
As in you are LARPing as "le typical 4channer" with your actual intention is to mock NEETs

>>9329265
No amount of reading is going to help you or many others here. Having said that, try Steppenwolf.


>Low motivation since forever, turned into depression after losing family members.
>Ended up changing colleges/majors more times than I should, now I'm 27 and still undergrad
>pretty much no skills
>barely no money, still living with my mother and currently unemployed
>Have suicidal thoughts every single day, but simultaneously think that I'd never let it come to that, so instead of the 'active-suicide' route I decided to do it passively, through smoking, drinking, drugs, unprotected sex and taking part in dangerous activities
>Can't get over the idea that even if I ended up being a teacher/professor I'd just be a peddler of ideas that people may not be interested in buying, so I'd have to persuade them out of their mediocrity and into mine.
>All I want right now is to find a woman and start a family
>Cut off all hobbies except reading.
At least I'm not ugly I guess

Feel like I'm chasing after me, feel like dead weight in a sea of vaseline.

>>9324480
>sort yourself out
>reads pseudo intellectual from an essentially fake science
you could learn a lot more following say Levitt, or someone who is at least interesting/engaging

but yeah listening to Jordan talk about nonsense personality types based in a taxonomy of legends, or even his ranting on the responsibilities of high functioning autists-as-CEOs is pretty gud

>>9330377
>feel like dead weight in a sea of vaseline.

Come on m8

>>9330540

>Levitt

literally who?

>Can't for the life of me stop playing shitty games I don't enjoy
>Even after getting various other hobbies and a fair amount of social interaction, I still cannot completely dump this shit without going back in like a week

Send help.

>>9323682
I'd be your friend, anon
what kind of books do you like
north carolina

>>9325770

Actually I'm not in pure math, just applied math.

My Courses are:
-Stochastic Differential Equations
-Experimental Modelling
-Research Practice (This is a solo project, guided by a tutor).
-Real Analysis II
-Time Series (This is not part of my major per se, just an elective).

>>9330937
Try drugs.

Dunno what book should I recommend you. Maybe Toasty's The Gambler. Not exactly your case, but the protagonist keeps fucking up his life because he loves gambling too much. Btw, it's kind of autobiographic.

>>9330951
i've avoided non-fiction for a long time but i've been reading kafka and stuff by dfw, i've yet to find a book to have a deep and intimate connection with. i actually live in NC, too.

>>9331395
oops, meant to say that i've avoided fiction for a long time. i mostly just read philosophical works..

>>9330540
Have you even listened to him?

>>9329233
Jordan Peterson. You can find him on youtube. He's incredible.

>>9331139
The gambler sounds nice thanks

>>9328990

The Denial of Death by Ernest Becker

>21
>Married
>Wife is in a deteriorating mental state and will be dead within two years
>Not sure I even love her
>This situation has completely drained my sense of self
>Feel like I'm just watching myself do things, don't feel particularly strongly about anything
>Occasionally vent through sessions of intense, aimless rage
>Struggling to keep myself from looking forward to my wife dying,never though it's the only remotely optimistic thing I have to look forward to

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>20 y/o
>Junior in college by age 18
>Dropped out of college twice by the age of 19
>Compulsively isolates myself from others
>Was majoring in physics
>Had a lot of hobbies in the past to try and take my mind off existence
>Rapid cycling bipolar