Hey I've been interested in poetry fror a bit now and I

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Anonymous
2017-03-26 07:03:41 Post No. 9295689
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Anonymous 2017-03-26 07:03:41 Post No. 9295689 [Report]

Hey I've been interested in poetry fror a bit now and I thought I would try my hand at it.
any criticism welcom

Anonymous 2017-03-26 07:14:05 Post No.9295751
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Anonymous 2017-03-26 07:14:05 Post No.9295751 [Report]

>>9295689
Kys bro porty is dead

Anonymous 2017-03-26 08:54:29 Post No.9296220
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Anonymous 2017-03-26 08:54:29 Post No.9296220 [Report]

>>9295689
Re-work the bit about the monster in the child's room, it's jarring, particularly the word 'their', also try gendering the child (he/she rather than it).

Anonymous 2017-03-26 10:07:04 Post No.9296532
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Anonymous 2017-03-26 10:07:04 Post No.9296532 [Report]

i love your opening line and i feel it could start a darker verse! overall i like it, keep it up!

Anonymous 2017-03-26 10:10:18 Post No.9296550
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Anonymous 2017-03-26 10:10:18 Post No.9296550 [Report]

>>9295689
is this about depression or sadness cuz thats the vibe im getting
either way its kinda meh desu
it doesnt really provoke any action from my point of view