ITT: SHAMEFUL LITERARY MOMENTS

>>9291843
i have a good one

>be in high school
>teacher assigns a book called The Crying Lot of Fort Canine
>some kid keeps calling it "the Crying Lot of 49" when delivering his book report
>he's so sure the book title is that way I can't believe it so i'm laughing
>that kid ended up taking his cousin to prom

>>9291843
>bolognese rears its head out of my pockets
i always thought the spaghetti meta was stale

That does seem like a strange mistake to make if you read the book.

>>9291875
It is stale but that's the best image I could come up with to fully describe that moment.

>be me in high school
>Teacher assigns The Crying of Lot 49 as the lecture for the semester
>some kid gotta make a presentation of it in front of the class
>during the presentation he keeps calling the book "The Crying Lot of 49"
>I can't believe it so I star laughing
>kind starts visibly panicking
>teacher also laughing now
>kid (pretty fucked up already) finish his presentation
>says "a-any questions?"
>I raise my hand and say "why do you keep misnaming the book?"
>he replies: h-huh?, like a fucking retard
>teacher gets up and starts clapping and saying "great job, anon"
>kid sits down and we can clearly see that he's about to cry
>we all laughed our ass off

>>9291843
in high school i blurted out "ulysses by james joyce" in the middle of class. teacher and everybody was like "what?" and i said "oh did i say that out loud, sorry, i was just thinking about a book ive read."

>be me teaching high school
>assign The Crying of Lot 49 as the lecture for the semester
>some kid gotta make a presentation of it in front of the class
>during the presentation he keeps calling the book "The Crying Lot of 49"
>students can't believe it and start laughing
>kid starts visibly panicking
>supress my own laughter
>kid (pretty fucked up already) finish his presentation
>says "a-any questions?"
>some kid raise my hand and say "why do you keep misnaming the book?"
>he replies: h-huh?, like a fucking retord
>feel bad for the runt so i get up and start clapping and saying "great job, anon"
>kid sits down and we can clearly see that he's about to cry
>we all laughed our ass off

That's not cool, bro.

>>9291843
i thought that was the title too until i actually read the book

>>9291843
I'm too lazy to find the original pasta to make the joke, but just pretend like I referenced the DFW pasta where he goes "huh? Huh? Huh?" or whatnot

>>9292104
I saw Flying Lotus at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

>>9291843

>ask for recommendations for first Pynchon book on /lit/
>specifically ask if "The Crying Lot of 49" is a good way to get into Pynchon
>realize my error
>literally drank 2 bottles of gin and half a bottle of whisky to obliterate my consciousness so I could know momentary peace from the embarrassment
>wake up the day after
>hangover has intensified the anxiety from my fuckup
>fall off the wagon and pick up my opiate habit again
>three years ago, tolerance has peaked at 1.5 grams of white no. 4 intravenous every day
>will burn through the rest of my savings in a few months
>I have not a doubt in my mind I will kill myself before that

>>9292147
/lit/ af desu

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>>9292147
What's up, Dave?

>>9291914
This is the first post in months to make me laugh out loud. I'm not sure why

>>9292110
I love this damn pasta.

>>9291914
goddamn, now I'M embarrassed

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>be in high school english
>on my harold bloom kick, the western canon, invention of human, the list goes on
>doing the tempest
>i call shakespeare "supremely original"
>i've only read macbeth, hamlet, romeo and juliet, midsummer's night and lear