ITT: Favourite Quotes

>>9287652
"I like to put on my sister's clothes and masturbate in her bed while sucking on a dildo"
my diary

>>9287652
Why is he always using food in his analogies? What's with this motherfucker and cheesy comparisons?

>>9287682
>cheesy comparisons

wew lad

Morning or afternoon, it's unimportant. What's important is your scrambled eggs has had someone's cock in it.

"The smokestacks don't cast a shadow long enough to have been used as crematoriums."

- John Green on Treblinka

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>>9287682

>>9287737
Green is a degenerate and not even a degenerate that is a good writer.

"The holocaust didn't happen, but it should have."

John "make the gene pool clean" Green

>>9287652
>breakfast is a social construct

>>9287652
Eggs are morning food because they are filling and quick to make. The fact that John Green doesn't understand this is telling about how privileged he is.

>>9287791
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KLudEZpMjKU

We eat eggs for breakfast because the chickens lay fresh eggs in the morning. Emasculated liberal douches like Johnny Green not understanding things like this are why Trump won the election.

>>9287804
Didn't watch the video but I assume it's about Bernays et al. inventing the idea of bacon as a breakfast food. That shit is wild.

>>9287652
Eggs are collected in the morning from the hens, and they are quick to make as opposed to using them as a midstep in a more elaborate recipe like we would have for supper. There you go Mr. Green.

>>9287880
>>9287960
Eggs can be eaten at any time of day though...

>>9288018
Yes, they can, but later in the day one has more time to prepare a more elaborate meal and does not need to dine on the simple egg.

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>>9287781

wtf i love ya fiction now

"Sunset found her squatting in the grass, groaning. Every stool was looser than the one before, and smelled fouler. By the time the moon came up she was shitting brown water. The more she drank, the more she shat, but the more she shat, the thirstier she grew, and her thirst sent her crawling to the stream to suck up more water."

>>9288065
But what was her tax policy?

>>9287781
John Green didn't write that, you liar.

I only eat them at night

>>9288451
Rebellious behavior!

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Battle unites men, apathy only separates them

--Ernst Juenger

>>9287682
He's American. It's all they know.

>>9287804
Smart guy

"the truth is a beautiful and terrible thing.therefore it must be treated with great caution"

JK Rowling

>>9288021
Fair enough.

>>9287652

it's never "CRASH! Mom made scrambled eggs!"

"Get out your best dress, honey. I just made $288"
-John Green

>>9290732
woah....

>>9290732
John Green never wrote that.

>>9290391
>advertising your blog on /lit/

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>>9288021

One of the things that make Wittgenstein a real artist to me is that he realized that no conclusion could be more horrible than solipsism.
-DFW

>>9291267
idgi

>>9287652
"It's embarrassing that some middle class kid from the suburbs grew up completely disconnected from his food sources and mistakes common sense dietary decisions for arbitrary cultural associations."

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>>9287718
>2 results

>>9291338
This. Do you even food pyramid brah

>>9291285
What a fraud

>>9291285

Imagine if you just smacked DFW every time he said something pretentious. I think it would have saved his life.

>>9291866
rip

>>9287655

Patrician desu

The point isn't eggs shouldn't be eaten at breakfast.
The connotation can be limiting if later in the day you go "I'm not eating eggs now it's not breackfast"!

>>9287682
Everybody eats food--it's the one assumption you can make without offending somebody.

>>9291338
Pray tell, what makes it common sense to eat eggs for breakfast, dietarily? Biochemist who grew up with chickens here and ready to learn.

>>9292496
>The point isn't eggs shouldn't be eaten at breakfast.

No fuck.

>>9292614
>who grew up with chickens

ok

>>9287655
"I didn't have a sister when I was younger, so I become one. Eventually I might fill out this bra, and mom won't be embarassed anymore when she catches me fingering myself."
-Being Yourself, and other Ways to Stay Single

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>All the plebs itt don't realize that the breakfast is just a spook

>>9292496
>"I'm not eating eggs now it's not breackfast"!
Do people actually do that though? I've never met anyone who said "No we can't eat cereal/eggs/pancakes/bacon/sausage because it's past midday"

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>>9293241
>I've never met anyone who said "No we can't eat eggs because it's past midday"

Great point! Fortunately John Green addressed this with this quote (pic related).

You are of course free to eat breakfast at any time of day. Hope this answered your question!

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>>9293270
>breakfast sandwich

>>9290732
I love this meme

>"Favourite Quotes"
Fuck you. Seriously. Fuck. You. You KNOW what you're doing. You know what you did. You know it's just a completely non-veiled John Green thread and you STILL had the audacity to PRETEND like it was anything else at all.

>>9293270
Also, not true. Put an egg on a hamburger (a type of sandwich), it's still a hamburger.

t. Burgerlander

>>9291314
that post sounded like something straight out of fucking Rolf from EEnE's mouth

>>9293152
Not everyone's a citycuck, anon.

>>9287880
Not an argument. This is only relevant to the very small portion of the population that raises chickens.

>>9287880
Chickens tend to lay their eggs closer to lunchtime, and farmers don't just eat what they most recently produced anyway. Confirmed for talking out of your ass.

>>9293338
I don't hear it.

>>9287880
We eat eggs for breakfast because nobody questions why we EAT EGGS FOR BREAKFAST, or puts much thought into the whole thing. This internet obsession with overthinking every question and trying to solve every problem RIGHT NOW is why Trump WON the election.

>>9288713
I like it.

>>9287682
he's not good

>>9293337
>he doesn't know about breakfast burgers
it's like you're not even american

t. a real Burgerlander

>>9287652
Cute little amorphism nothing wrong...

>>9293337
>>9293494
HAHAHAHAHA Google it! Google "breakfast burgers". AHAHAHAHAHA

>>9293496
*aphorism

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Hour Three

Ben is sitting shotgun again. I'm still driving. We're all hungry. Lacey distributes one piece of wintergreen gum to each of us, but it's cold comfort. She's writing a gigantic list of everything we're going to buy at the BP when we stop for the first time. This had better be one extraordinarily well-stocked BP station, because we are going to clear the bitch out.
Ben keeps bouncing his legs up and down.
"Will you stop that?"
"I've had to pee for three hours."
"You've mentioned that."
"I can feel the pee all the way up to my rib cage," he says. "I am honestly full of pee. Bro, right now, seventy percent of my body weight is pee."
"Uh-huh," I say, barely cracking a smile.It's funny and all, but I'm tired.
"I feel like I might start crying, and that I'm going to cry pee."
That gets me. I laugh a little.
The next time I glance over, a few minutes later, Ben has a hand tight around his crotch, the fabric of the gown bunched up.
"What the hell?" I ask.
"Dude, I have to [i]go[/i]. I'm pinching off the flow." He turns around then. "Radar, how long till we stop?"
"We have to go at least a hundred forty-three more miles in order to keep it down to four stops, which means about one hours and fifty-eight-point-five minutes if Q keeps pace."
"I'm keeping up!" I shout. We are just north of Jacksonville, getting close to Georgia.
"I can't make it, Radar. Get me something to pee in."
The chorus erupts: NO. Absolutely not. Just hold it like a man. Hold it like a Victorian lady holds on to her maidenhead. Hold it with dignity and grace, like the president of the United States is supposed to hold the fate of the free world.
"GIVE ME SOMETHING OR I WILL PEE ON THIS SEAT. AND HURRY!"
"Oh, Christ," Radar says as he unbuckles his seat belt. He climbs into the wayback, and then reaches down and opens the cooler. He returns to his seat, leans forward, and hands Ben a beer.
"Thank God it's a twist off," Ben says, gathering a handful of robe and then opening the bottle. Ben rolls down the window, and I watch out the side-view mirror as the beer floats past the car and splashes onto the interstate. Ben manages to get the bottle underneath his robe without showing us the world's purportedly largest balls, and then we all sit and wait, too disgusted to look.
Lacey is just saying, "Can't you just hold it," when we all hear it. I have never heard the sound before, but I recognize it anyway: it is the sound of pee hitting the bottom of a beer bottle. It sounds almost like music. Revolting music with a very fast beat. I glance over and I can see the relief in Ben's eyes. He is smiling, staring into the middle distance.
"The longer you wait, the better it feels," he says. The sound soon changes from the clinking of pee-on-bottle to the blopping of pee-on-pee. And then, slowly, Ben's smile fades.
"Bro, I think I need another bottle," he says suddenly.

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>>9293618
"Another bottle STAT," I shout.
"Another bottle coming up!" In a flash, I can see Radar bent over the backseat, his head in the cooler, digging a bottle out of the ice. He opens it with his bare hand, cracks one of the back windows open, and pours the beer out through the crack. Then he leaps to the front, his head between Ben and me, and holds the bottle out for Ben, whose eyes are darting around in panic.
"The, uh, exchange is going to be, uh, complicated," Ben says. There's a lot of fumbling going on beneath that robe, and I'm trying not to imagine what's happening when out from underneath the robe comes a Miller Lite bottle filled with pee (which looks astoundingly similar to Miller Lite.) Ben deposits the full bottle in the cup holder, grabs the new one from Radar, and then sighs with relief.
The rest of us, meanwhile, are left to contemplate the pee in the cup holder. The road is not particularly bumpy, but the shocks on the minivan leave something to be desired, so the pee swishes back and forth at the top of the bottle.
"Ben, if you get pee in my brand-new car, I am going to cut your balls off."
Still peeing, Ben looks over at me, smirking. "You're gonna need a hell of a big knife, bro." And then finally I hear the steam slow. He's soon finished, and then in one swift motion he throws the new bottle out the window. The full one follows.
Lacey is fake gagging—or maybe really gagging. Radar says, "God, did you wake up this morning and drink eighteen gallons of water?"
But Ben is beaming. He is holding his fists in the air, triumphant, and he is shouting, "Not a drop on the seat! I'm Ben Starling. First clarinet, WPHS Marching Band. Keg Stand Record Holder. Pee-in-the-car champion. I shook up the world! I must be the greatest!"
Thirty-five minutes later, as our third hour comes to a close, he asks in a small voice, "When are we stopping again?"
"One hour and three minutes, if Q keeps pace," Radar answers.
"Okay," Ben says. "Okay, good. Because I have to pee."

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>>9287682
>cheesy

>>9293618
>>9293634
is this a joke

>>9293752
i wish

>>9287804
is that guy dead now?

>>9293634
>>9293618
great read, thanks.

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>>9293332
Thanks for bumping the thread, friend.

"I was born in a time when the majority of young people had lost faith in God, for the same reason their elders had had it — without knowing why."

- Fernando Pessoa

>>9294011
This is genuinely in his book Paper Towns

>>9293618
>>9293634
Fantastic, you have talent.

>>9294243
Good quote, bad book.

>>9287718
sad when silly anon writes more quote-worthy things than the cheese himself

"Stay stay stay stay"
- Manuel Ferrara

>>9287880
this guy 10/10

>>9295535
He's wrong, though. A farmer is up by 5am, well before chickens start laying eggs (6am at the earliest, but sometimes as late as early afternoon). He's a suburban middle class white man like 95% of this site, and probably just googled "when do chickens lay eggs," saw "the morning," and didn't think any further than that.

>>9295492
reee

>>9293618
>>9293634
holy....

I saw John Green at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen boxes of Cheerios in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the boxes and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each box and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

>>9287652
She is all the great heroines of the world in one. She is more than an individual. I love her, and I must make her love me. I want to make Romeo jealous. I want the dead lovers of the world to hear our laughter, and grow sad. I want a breath of our passion to stir dust into consciousness, to wake their ashes into pain.

>>9296198
Beautiful quote. John Green does it again.

>>9287652
>learning, one of the fundemental traits that has kept humans and animals alive for fuck knows how long is embarrassing
K bud

>>9296343
...what?

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>But in all this we have been overlooking an essential distinction that obtains among the objects, that is, among those concepts of understanding which reason endeavours to raise
to ideas. According to the table of categories given above, two of these concepts imply a mathematical, the other two a dynamical synthesis of appearances. Hitherto it has not been necessary to take account of this distinction; for just as in the general representation of all transcendental ideas we have been conforming to conditions within the [field of] appearance, so in the two mathematical-transcendental ideas the only object we have had in mind is object as appearance. But now
that we are proceeding to consider how far dynamical concepts of the understanding are adequate to the idea of reason, the distinction becomes of importance, and opens up to us an
entirely new view of the suit in which reason is implicated.

-John Green

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If we all made up one aspect of being the each of us I'd think of myself as something like personification personified.

You can learn a lot about yourself watching a dog chase the tide back and forth.

If I had one arch nemesis it would be Faulkner, Nabokov and even Pynchon.

>>9296433
John Green would never write something this stupid.

>>9296259
Can anyone compare to John "Oscar Wilde" Green?

>>9287790
That isn't the argument, bud.

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>>9295530

>>9292614
these dumb flyover americans think that no one eats anything differently from the standard american diet
these are the same kind of faggots who probably don't even like fried rice with egg in it

>>9293280
>he doesn't live by delis that make bacon, egg, and cheese sandwiches all day

>>9297191
I will never understand people like you, proud to live in a city. Always seemed to me something you should obviously be ashamed about.

>>9288021
But you can still have eggs.

>>9291866
You would smack him to death

>>9288065
This describe my Sunday morning ritual, though I figured out that you should wait some times before drinking water

>>9293618
>>9293634
They could just stop at the side of the road...

>>9299117
There was some arbitrary tension over making it back to prom. I'm ashamed to admit I've read the book. I tell myself it's to pick up cute pseud chicks.

>>9295700
working off of your point though, what else is the farmer going to eat fresh in the morning that doesn't involve slaughtering an animal, assuming he is strictly an animal farmer?

>>9299886
Dry cereal he bought from the store because the real world has no time for autistic syllogisms.

>>9288713
Literally a proto-Übermensch

>>9299897
>the real world has no time for autistic syllogisms

Wrong!

>>9297263
*breakfast

>>9296525
Was Oscar Wilde the John Green of his era?

>>9290391
That's a shitty quote

>>9287652
Then why do IHOP and similar places serve breakfast all day?

Life can be understood backwards but must be lived forwards

Kierkegaard

>>9287652

what's so embarrassing about it though?
I really don't think that people blindly accept it
I think they accept it because it feels right to them

What, am I supposed to believe there is some conspiracy to get people to eat eggs in the morning?
Its not like eggs are the cheapest food source in the world and all told they're a pretty nutrient rich food high in protien, iron, and lutein
I think everyone should eat eggs in the morning unless a trusted health care professional tells them otherwise

>>9302261
t. hasn't read any Kierkegaard

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>>9287682
i don't think cheesy is the right word here lad

>>9291423
>verbose xd

>>9297195
>probably not american

YOU HAVE TO EAT ALL THE EGGS

>>9302255
"Why is it called breakfast if it's served all day?"

- John Green

>>9302551
top kek

>>9293618
>>9293634
why not pee out the window?

>>9302551
epic dude my favorite maymay

>>9303181
The kid could get arrested if he did that.

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>>9287682
>cheesy

>>9287652
"It is embarrassing the number of contemporary American hacks that think their personal experiences growing up middle-class suburban White = Mankind

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>>9288076
...I like you

>>9287781
Source?

>>9288065
>people actually compare this guy to Tolkien

>>9302283
This is stupid. When the typical person wakes up they've been fasting for upwards of 12 hours. They need glucose, not protein, and eggs have none.

>>9302429
?

>this eggs discussion
Fucking Americans I swear

>>9305762
>not needing protein
never gonna make it

>>9287652
ⵀⴳⴽⵊⵀ ⵊⵀⴳⵀⵏ ⵢⵜⵔⴻⴷⵛ ⵃⴽ,ⴱⵛ ⴳⵜⴼⴳⵀⵏ ⴱⵏⴼⵔⴻ ⴽⵊⵀⵊⴳⵢ
ⵢⵓⴳⵀ ⵀⴳⴳⵓⵉⵀⵊ(

>>9306334
You eat your protein at dinner, retard

>>9306345
I eat protein every meal of the day and in snacks in between. You're just a nogains lightweight

>>9306158
Meh

>>9293618
Not bad mr Green, entertaining, but quite the opposite of profound.

>>9293634
>Thirty-five minutes later, as our third hour comes to a close

wow gonna have to use that one some time.

>>9293634
I hope this isn't real. I know people who unironically enjoy him and I can't handle respecting them any less than I do now.

>>9307613
>http://www.young-adult-books.com/read/paper-towns-538/35727

it's up to us to provide an alternative to this.

>>9293634
>>9293618
>casually emptying two beers out of the window so this kid gets to piss while he could easily piss out of the window
truly this man has no experience of reality

>>9307684
What bothers me the most is that reddit will have threads praising him right next to yet another thread about how reading books has been scientifically proven to make you more intelligent/empathetic/happy/etc., as if shitty young adult novels are doing anything positive for them. Might as well watch TV or play vidya.

>>9307697
Even someone who doesn't have these kinds of experiences should be able to make that scene much more believable, or at least present their autistic mess of a story with some decent prose.

How can you be a "writer" and have so little understanding of either?

>>9307697
It's as if his worldview and idea of reality is based entirely on reddit comments. He obviously never had friends, and this is his idea of how teens act when they hang out. It's a little sad.

>>9307613
That's not even his worse quote.

>>9307613
It is 100% real

>>9292614
Most Americans have easy access to inexpensive eggs; eggs take little preparation time but provide high quality protein.This makes them idea for a rushed meal, which breakfast often is in America, especially urban areas.
In some parts of America eggs are far less routine as breakfast (the South, for example) and in many foreign nations other cheap, easily- and quickly-prepared proteins are typical breakfast foods.

>>9307684
The sad thing is that the idea of paper towns, or fictitious entries, is quite interesting, and could be the basis of a good novel.

>>9309596
Nigga even most shitty anime has a good gimmick or two. Any idea can be interesting if your knowledge of the subject matter and your ability to turn it into a catalyst for an interesting story are well enough developed. Yes, even the shitty self-insert power fantasy you wrote as a teen. Don't give this guy credit.

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>>9287652

>>9306336
English please.

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>>9293618
>>9293634
>>9307684
Good fucking god i thought it was fake

>>9309596
I really liked Paper Towns. It was no Brothers Karamozov, but it wasn't trying to be. It would be like comparing my favorite guilty plesure movie (Sahrah) to Citizen Kain or 8 1/2. For what it was, it did a good job talking about unrequited love and the idea of loving a person vs loving a person. The ideas you build up, the perfect picture in your mind, the flawless idea of someone that doen't actually exist. It summed up high school and the failure of my first college attempt. I read it in one sitting the first time I read it. It's a guilty plesure.

Words are like x rays, if you use them properly they can go through anything
-Brave New World

>>9312628
fef

"The presidency is not a position suited for a gentleman."- from 'Burr' by Gore Vidal

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"Little Red" Garlock, sixteen years old, skull smashed soft as a rotted pumpkin and body dumped into the Cassadaga River near the foot of Pitt Street, must not have sunk as he'd been intended to sink, or floated as far. As the morning mist begins to lift from the river a solitary fisherman sights him, or the body he has become, trapped and bobbing frantically in pilings about thirty feet offshore. It's the buglelike cries of gulls that alert the fisherman – gulls with wide gunmetal-gray wings, dazzling snowy heads and tail feathers, dangling pink legs like something incompletely hatched. The king you think might be a beautiful bird until you get up close.

-John Green

>>9288065
>>9288065

Breaker of chains and Drinker of diarrhea

>>9313015
John Green didn't write that.

>>9287713
No, that's your bowl of cheerios.

>>9313106
whaa

>>9313147
You heard me.

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>It accounts for more than one-half of all cases of dementia.

Fuck

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>>9287682
include me in the screen cap

“And thus it was she who first gave me the idea that a person does not, as I had imagined, stand motionless and clear before our eyes with his merits, his defects, his plans, his intentions with regard to ourselves (like a garden at which we gaze through a railing with all its borders spread out before us), but is a shadow which we can never penetrate, of which there can be no such thing as direct knowledge, with respect to which we form countless beliefs, based upon words and sometimes actions, neither of which can give us anything but inadequate and as it proves contradictory information—a shadow behind which we can alternately imagine, with equal justification, that there burns the flame of hatred and of love.”

- David Foster Wallace

>>9312534
perfect image/filename, thank you for the chuckle

>>9313399
"And but so we are lost w/r/t sincerity."