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God made human because

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Thread replies: 9
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File: pedobear-god-made-men-because.jpg (21KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]
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I had asked a week back for feedback for the same piece. Anyone willing to give feedback?

http://hasitpbhatt.blogspot.com/2017/03/god-made-human-because.html
>>
>>9282807
fucking godawful, and here's why.

>Well, this isn't the first time these questions have surrounded me.

Could you write a more meaningless sentence in a more stilted way?

>Since childhood, I've been asked what did I want to be when I grew up.

Shit grammar draws attention away from what's being said. Also gives away the fact that you don't have the intrinsic grasp on language that you need to be a writer.

>With time, the answers have changed with an average frequency thrice a year.

Thrice? Are you fucking kidding me here? Could you be more pretentious?

>I always thought that once you enter adulthood, you'll know what you want to be.

Fuck this, I'm out
>>
>>9282872
This post has convinced me not to read it.
OP, you know that comic that's like "welcome to /lit/," and has the guy asking for book recs and the other guy jumping in and yelling "Finnegan's Wake"? Remember the guy in the background asking people to critique his short story about being a NEET with no gf? That's the level of writing this is. That's you. The subject is different, maybe, the quality the same.
>>
>>9282807
>making an image macro with no idea of the meaning of the image
yeah, nah, not gonna read your trash
>>
>>9282872

>Shit grammar draws attention away from what's being said. Also gives away the fact that you don't have the intrinsic grasp on language that you need to be a writer.

>criticizes anon for poor grasp of language
>misuses intrinsic in his critique
>>
>>9282934
I want to be a better person; tell me how I misused it so I can learn and grow as an individual.
>>
>>9282934
Not that guy, but "intrinsic" means "inherent," so it doesn't really make sense to say anyone has an "intrinsic" grasp of a language; this would imply they were born with the knowledge, or came to it through sheer intuition. A simple "firm," "fluent," or "thorough" would suffice in your context
>>
File: battleoftours.png (3MB, 1600x1316px) Image search: [Google]
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>>9283004
Meant for >>9282993
>>
>>9283004
Thanks for the answer. You're definitely not that guy. I like talking about words and word choice.

OED: Belonging naturally; essential.

Etymology: late 15c., "interior, inward, internal," from Middle French intrinsèque "inner" (14c.), from Medieval Latin intrinsecus "interior, internal," from Latin intrinsecus (adv.) "inwardly, on the inside," from intra "within" (see intra-) + secus "along, alongside," from PIE *sekw-os- "following," suffixed form of root *sekw- (1) "to follow" (see sequel).

OP is Indian, which is made clear on his blog post. I chose "intrinsic" because I wanted to imply that writing to enlighten/entertain isn't something that you can just start doing well after taking ENGL 1 at your local adult education center; for me, at least (and I assume for most native English speakers), writing grammatically correct sentences requires no conscious effort whatsoever, and that comes from a literal lifetime of reading.

I'd definitely call my grasp on the English language "intrinsic," as in "internal," or "naturally occurring," and definitely part of my "essence." I could see it not working for some people, and that's fine, but I don't think it's as egregious of an error as the above post implies.

Now I'm probably "that guy," but this is /lit/, so whatever.
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