Greentext is the new literary genre

>>9244211
how about we don't, and you just pretend we did?

>>9244211
>A boy falls in love with a girl.
>Unable to confess, he is gifted with by a deus ex machina with the girl’s phone number. >Never minding the strange area code, he immediately calls her, and is overjoyed to find out that she has a crush on him as well.
>But, the next day, when he recounts the previous day’s confessions to the girl, she only looks at him with a perplexed expression.
>After some investigation, he finds out that the girl he called is not the same girl he fell in love with. In fact, she doesn’t exist in this universe at all. She is the girl’s alternate universe counterpart, who has fallen in love with the MC’s own AU self, who too is blissfully unaware of her crush.
>Hijinks ensue as the two strike up a deal to give each other their darkest, most private secrets in order to equip the other with the weapons they need to conquer the heart of their other selves. >While the two chase their respective loved ones, DRAMA ensues as they begin to fall in love with each other instead and question the NATURE of LOVE.

>That exotic jungle leaving hiding her vagoo
bouta cum

>>9244211
>be le me
>enter 4chan.org/lit and browser catalog
>theres a booty on the pic, insta click
>its actually an asian, i don't like them
>read OP thread and decide to meme it
>think well and decided to not meme
>starting narrating the story in the first person by writing "be le me"
>not sure what i should write right now, should i write a fake story? something that happened in the past? nah... i'll do something easier
>i'm kinda unsure how to start the story but i decide to start by going on /lit/ catalog instead of turning my PC on or eating spaghetti
>the reason i clicked this thread really was the woman, i'm somewhat thirsty for qt grills
>since i don't like asians i got mad at the thread, because it didn't delivered a qt grill (for me of course) and the first thing that came in mind was "i have to destroy this thread"
>realizing that made me have a bit of compassion: "uhh, maybe i should just post on this thread"
>then there was nothing else to talk about, and i decided to explain the process inside each meme arrow
>i start by telling that this is first person, because that was the first thing i thought when i wrote "be me", and then i changed to "be le me"
>i wasn't sure how to write that, so i decided to make stuff up, i never thought to make a fake story or something like that, i wanted since the beginning to meme this thread
>the spaghetti was true btw, garlic and oil, it was ok
>i bring up the woman again, i fucking love pussy, specially asian pussy, i was lying so i could write more text and maybe trigger people who won't read the entire thing
>i'm not sure when i should end this whole thing
>i think its enough, you can keep going on your mind if you want to

>>9244211
<green
>black

>words have power
<power is a word

<now I know
>you're bored

>be me
>do OPs creative writing assignment for him
>get literally nothing in exchange
feels good, man

>▲
>▲▲
>▲▲▲

>talking to my gf over the phone at uni
>see my buddy John Paul walking near me
>tell gf 'hey john paul is here'
>john paul is getting far away
>i scream 'JOHN PAUL!'
>he turns 180 degrees
>it was not him
>it was a random person that looked like him
>he stares at me confused for a couple of seconds
>i raise my index finger and move it from left to right to left a couple of times with a stupid smile on my face saying 'no'
>he turns 180° and continue walking towards the metro station
>tell gf over the phone 'lol it was not john paul'

If it was not clear it was not john paul

>>9244211
I WANT HER AS MY GIRLFRIEND RIGHT FUCKING NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>it was a dark and stormy night

Ok, great job so far guys, I'm printing the book

>talking to my gf over the phone at uni
>a girl i used to like walks towards me, says hello and kiss me in my right cheek
>tell my gf 'hang on a sec'
>tell this other girl 'hey i owe you money'
>she asks me why and i tell her it was from friday
>she remembers and realise i'm on TVE phone with my gf so she tells me that she'll do something and come back
>keep talking with gf over the phone
>this girl comes back and i'm still busy on the phone
>tells me she has to print something and will come back
>hang up the phone a couple of minutes later
>this girl is not back yet
>i stand up and leave
>text her while walking to the classroom
>'just give me your bank account information haha'
>she replies 'hahahahahahahah' and her account info
>i transfer her the money a couple of hours later

>>9244405
>>she remembers and realise i'm on TVE phone with my gf so [...]

the*

>>9244376
<i want you as the new us president>

This is the last one for today

>a girl i used to like gave me a ride home
>tell her 'hey just drop me here'
>'are you sure?'
>'yeah don't worry'
>she stops the car
>i open the door
>the door hits one of those cilinders they put on the ground so cars can't park on the sidewalk
>spaghetti
>'it didn't get scratched'
>it didn't get scratched
>met her that night on a party
>she just says 'hello'
>i only say 'hello'

The car story was on friday. The other two were today. I remembered one from 2014

>notice this girl for the first time in class
>think she's pretty and has a really sweet voice
>said hi a couple of times to her
>days later i realised a classmate was a really good friend of her
>tell him to text her if she knows who i was
>'hey do you know anon? Does the name ring a bell?'
>'no'

>>9244211
>op suck dick
>suck dick, op
>dick sucking op
>dickens sucking op
>actually op sucking dickens

>>9244248
>whereisthejpg.jpg

>>9244373
why would he turn around if he wasn't John Paul?

>>9244435
they're called bollards dude

>>9244211
>you're fucking retarded
>post more sexy feet

>>9244556
Maybe he was called john paul too

>>9244574
Good to know
Not a native speaker

File: Great, One of These Guys.gif (505KB, 262x200px) Image search: [Google]

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>>9244211
In other words, you have no talent and need us to write a book for you.

Hah, yea -- no thanks.

>>9244211
>those feet though

>>9244287
▲
▲▲▲

>>9246344
▲
▲▲
NEWFAGS CAN'T TRIFORCE

>>9246355
▲
▲▲

>>9244211
>person is naive and pure
>world is bad
>world fucks person over
>person somehow dies

>>9244225
someone made a movie about this

>mfw

I invented greentexting. Or at least ">implying." I first arrived on 4chan in late 2006, so it must have started in early 2007. I realized there was no convenient way to objectify arguments or refer to situations in the third-person, most often in refutations pertaining to the Zelda timeline. So I began to use >implying to denote the connotations of what anons were saying to facilitate discourse. After long, my opponents began to reply in kind. And so the meme was born.

>>9244211
I only clicked this thread to see if I could see her cameltoe

>>9244211
>however, you often see it executed with this childish "be me" style telling shitty anecdotes, but what if we try to make actual short stories with it?

Fuck off, retard. You are fundamentally changing the way it is used.

Go back to >>>/r/eddit

>>9244248
nice

>>9247751
post some classic /b/ pastas

>>9247751
Mind walking us through the Zelda timeline?

File: IMG_2861.jpg (13KB, 320x158px) Image search: [Google]

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>be me
>12yo little idiot
>have bf
>also have female friend who has crush on my bf
>fuckoffbitch.jpg
>meet female friend on way home from school
>tells me she saw my bf kiss another girl at the trainststion
>thefaggotdidwhat.exe
>go home in revengefull mood
>get text from older guy that has a crush on me later that afternoon
>asks if i want to come to his place
>mfw perfect opportunity to serve my EX-bf what he dished out
>go to guys place
>wtfwhyareallhisfriendsheretoo.gif
>they're smoking weed and playing vidya
>bit awkward but whatever
>guy asks me to come to his room
>surewhynot.rar
>somehow start making out
>muahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHATAKETHATYOUCHEATINGASSHOLE
>pushes me on the bed and starts grinding his hard cock on me
>'twasjustamatteroftime.vid
>take off his clothes and vice versa
>go under blanket
>he sticks his dick inside me
>my fucking face when that was how i lost my virginity
>mfw to this day i don't know if i even bled because i was menstruating anyways
>he cums in a few thrusts
>rolls off, gets up and goes smoking some more
>i just stay in the bed and try to grasp wtf just happened
>friend come in
>lays next to me
>starts touching me
>dudewhat.cxx
>get text
>it's my ex's best friend asking me to go to the circus with him
>thankgodfortheexcuse.bmp
>pack my stuff and leave asap
>meet up with dude and his brother and go to circus
>later find out female friend made all this up to sabotage me and bf
>THATGODDAMNFUCKINGHOE.dpj
>bf hears rumours about me fucking guy
>confronts me and i tell him what happened
>mfw he sais he'll "forgive me"
>say this is too much drama for me and break up
>meet him 7 years later and we have an ons
>MFW we lay in his tub after fucking and he tells me i broke his hearth when i didn't take on his offer of staying together then - in 6th grade...

sometimes i still dream about him. he was a really good guy.

fml i guess

>>9244225
Keit Ai finds a way

>>9247880
You can fuckoff urself frogposter

>>9247991
youre a fucking bitch. hope you grew up into a better person than the slutty 12 year old you were

Alright, let's say you write the first work of veritable greentext literary fiction. It's great, no disputing that. Beautiful, timeless, and the writing is basically prose instilled with poesy. But, if you publish yourself, you'll out yourself to friends, family, and everyone else as being a person who comes to this site, the "neckbeard" type, and comes to it often enough to have mastered one of its hallmarks. Sure, your work will be widely read, but all the literary qts you meet will have already associated all the stereotypes of this site with you before you've even begun to court them.
What do? Publish and cement your legacy but commit social suicide? Or publish it anonymously on this board?

>>9244211
The other day I realized, asian girls aren't even particularly physically attractive- they just make an attempt at being feminine.

The concept of femininity is so foreign in the age of girl-power dykes that even the slightest semblance of it has guys fawning. I live in a major city and by FAR the most common interracial couple I see is wmaf, followed by assorted maf.

Look at the girl in OP pic. She has no eyebrows, a bad hairline, a squashed nose, and thin lips. She's not ugly, but she's hardly a supermodel. Here's what she has going for her:
- Good skin
- Smiling
- Making eye contact
- Wearing female clothes
- Normal haircut
- No visible tattoo or strange piercing
- Painted nails
- NOT FAT

These are things that literally any girl can do, and yet only asians do them regularly. What the fuck?

>>9247991
how much older was the weedfag?
are you a minority?
or white trash?

>>9249026
DELETE THIS

STOP TELLING NORMIES THE SECRET

REEEEEEEEE

>>9244248
thanks for that anon

>>9246361
how do I triforce in a mac?

>>9244211
>for sale
>baby shoes
>never worn

>>9247991
>femanon
>doesn't post tits
GTFO

what don't do that.... flip cars or smt if you want to scheme

>>9249026
Self-loathing hapa detected.

>The year was 2015
>It was almost my 17th birthday
>By this point I have virtually no social skills and the mere sight of girls makes me sweat
>I have these two good friends who are twins
>We usually hang out after school doing nothing at all
>Over the summer they took this drama group and one of them is trying to get with a Jew he met there
>This time after school we meet up with their cousin and they suggest going to this youth-centre your Jewish one said she would be at.
>O-okay
>Go there
>Lads ask me to buy tobacco because I was 6'3" and had a shitty beard
>Do it
>Come back
>Decide to try a cigarette
>Also decide to try rolling it myself
>Their cousin is giving me instructs
>It's not going well but, what do you expect rolling for the first time with instructions from someone who also can barely roll?
>About to finish.
>Now he says "Okay now lick the top"
>Take this literally, don't really know what this would accomplish but I just go with it.
>Turn the part-rolled bine, point it upwards, and lick the front end that the tobacco sticks out of.
>Somehow the tobacco all sticks to my tongue and is pulled straight from the paper
>Ciggie promptly disintegrates
>Uproarious laughter ensues.
>My face is red.

>>9249123
not enough for it to be very weird. i think he was 15 at the time.
i'm just white trash.

>>9248959
i hope so too

>>9247934
/b/ is a board I haven't browsed in years, so I can't help there.

>>9247946
Sure.
>The Beginning: Skyward Sword, The Minish Cap, Four Swords, and Ocarina of Time.
>splits into the Adult Timeline and Child Timeline.
>Adult Timeline (Aka, the unaltered original continuum): Wind Waker, Phantom Hourglass, and Spirit Tracks
>Child Timeline (Aka, where Link returns to the past): Majora's Mask, Twilight Princess, Four Swords Adventures, A Link to the Past, Oracle of Seasons, Ages, Link's Awakening, Zelda 1, and Zelda II.

That is the true Zelda timeline, as concurred by /v/, /vr/, and /vg/ in 2011 before the Hyrule Historia ruined everything.

>>9249026
Go outside

>>9250226
>15 y.o fucking a 12 y.o
>not weird
Christ have mercy on us all

>>9250445
it could have been a 36yo, y'know

>>9244211
>cold wet day
>frost fogging up my window pane
>can't see shit
>break light up ahead
>old beat up fender like a broken thumb
>I gun past him and try and take the inside lane
>fingers itching; all yellow stained from that last cigarette I had
>how far out?
>can still taste it in my mouth
>only about a half a mile
>radio broadcasts should start coming on line now
>the we can see how we are fixed for positions
>I wish that dog would stop whining
>maybe if I gave it some food
>but I finished that bag of treats of his before we cross the perimitre
>frost on my windshield
>cold wet day

itried.png

>>9250725
>then* we can see
no sleep

>>9244225
Didn't you post this in a "post your idea for a novel" thread? So have you given up and decided the greentext overview is as far as it's going to get, or was this just a fake thing to begin with?

>>9244211
wtf I think I love this girl

>>9244211
>be human
>enter 4chan
>discover other humans like you enjoy a new style of written commnication
>it uses the ">"
>it colors the ideas to green
>you have no control over it

>>9250754
This has been a copypasta on /lit/ for a long ass time. Hell, I think it came from /a/.

>>9250932
it did

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>>9247934

>>9244211
Greentext is a medium not a genre
Different greentexts can be written within different genres