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Two Birds and Rain
Two birds were dancing.
One in the sky, one on the ground.
Then raindrops started falling.
And there were no bird in the sky,
nor the ground.
Ground was wet and the plants grew.
Then final raindrops ended.
And birds returned,
to a garden called home.
How can i improve this poem i wrote?
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笔哟哎木批
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Stop writing like an autist. Poetry is about placing right words in the right places, for starters use less garbage words like 'then' or 'on'. Use iambs to keep the rhythm going, lines like
>And there were no bird in the sky
have no pulse, it's just a bunch of connecting words.
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Post more anime pictures.
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>>9217646
Read an introduction to poetry and a thousand more poems and then re-write it.
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>>9217646
Stop being a fag and write prose.
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>>9218420
Okay
Thanks guys. If I dont call it poetry can i pass it off as "artful" writing? Like a short short story.
Thread posts: 7
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Thread images: 2