Describe the plot of a book badly

>>9184901
Catcher in the rye

>fuck you dad
>hey mister
>i'm a cowboy
>hey mister
>i'm a cowboy
>mister died
>pls no hurt me
>now that's what I call a clean getaway
>uh oh

>crazy-ass nigga think he tuff
>livin in da hood, lyfe is hard
>pops a cap in a ho for her shit
>busts up her sis too
>guilt hit dis mofo lyke 1 ton of briks
>cops on his ass
>boi about to lose his mind from how he just killed this little sis who didn't do nuthin wrong
>he go to the po-po and say it was me
>nigga gets the dime

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>>9184901

>kinda like her
>maybe I shouldn't
>I think she likes me
>she disapears
>write book
>die

>>9184901
>>9184953
why do people in public gardens show their bare feet? they either disgust me or make me horny. it's literally like showing genitals in public, it shouldn't be legal

4 dudes have a party in a castle

>my dad can't handle losing WWI
>not that I mind, I just like seaweed
>go camping in Romania
>find journal
>read journal
>I like it
>REALLY like it
>Man I love this journal
>gf died :(
>grow old
>guess I'll visit my nephew

What is she reading /lit/?

>>9184901
Gilgamesh

>>9184973
Get over it and learn to observe the human body without making somehow your problem.

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>>9185006

>Be weak ass 10yo boy
>Everyone else is weakling like you
>Except dumbass cunt who got held back
>He's got muscles and armpit hair
>Beauttiful armpit hair
>I-I think I love him!

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Some kid uses a computer to mine bitcoins the fucks a catgirl.

>>9184953
BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAAAAAP

>>9184994
2666 by Roberto Bolaño?

>>9185043
Confessions of a Mask?

>>9185058
Yeah you got it, guess it's too easy

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>>9185062
*teleports behind you*
CORRECT

>>9185073
based

>>9184987
120 Days of Sodom

>kings keep asking me to do literary analysis on dreams
>they also try to kill me because i won't literally woship them

>family abandons me
>get new family
>befriend jew
>my family dies

>>9185078
Yeah

>>9185086
Genesis

>>9185109
kinda close

>>9184955
Either Allighieri or Green

>>9185123
Nope

His friend kills a roastie so he shoots him.

>need a job
>get a job at a mine
>get cucked by a 14 year old girl
>convince everyone to go on strike
>get a bunch of people shot
>go back to work in mine
>mine collapses
>kill 14 girls' boyfriend
>fuck 14 year old girl
>she dies
>you live

>>9185133
Germinal?

>uni sucks, bored and kinda poor
>only have one friend
>landlord is a bitch and has a retard relative she treats like a slave
>fuck I need to kill that bitch
>kill her
>police doesnt know for a while, eventually I confess
>also there's this poor woman with a small family I'm around constantly
>they throw me into prison and I become christian

praise the lord

>>9184946
crime and punishment

>>9185131
the Quran

An Indian kills a rapist

>>9185141
>>9185142
same

>>9185144
No

>terrorist kills my mom
>obsess about a girl and a painting
>make money off stolen painting
>end up addicted to pills and lonely

it's a good book

>>9185049
My diary to be desu

>>9185086
That Thomas Mann thing?

>>9185159
no

>>9185086
Joseph and His Brothers? I'm guessing because I haven't read it and you already said no to Genesis

>>9185171
no

>wear scramble suit
>buddy makes cocaine from sunburn spray
>do hella drugs

>>9185184
Fuckin' Charlie Sheen bio

Scanner Darkly

>leave home
>join gang
>kill indians
>get murdered

>Be obssesed with money
>My bitch, my workplace muh muh muh
>Have an empty hearth so darkness fucks me up
>They send a guy for me
>I die
>he lies

>>9185233
Corncob Tortillas

>>9184953
>those blades of grass between her shoulder blades
fUuUuuckkkk

>>9185233
Already did it>>9184924

>>9185142
ding ding

>>9184901
>badly
You mean "poorly". For fuck's sake this is a literature board.

>get cornered on a train
>guy rants about how murdering his wife for cucking him made him a feminist

>>9185137
you got it

>>9185272
I am not a native speaker

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>>9184953

>go real quick
>have a bunch of sexy time
>whoops world is over
>ah okay there's a new one
>let's just settle here I guess whatever

>>9184901
>a couple and the dude in the couple's best friend are friends
>they have fun together
>guy with the gf kills himself
>the leftovers go forward in their life in general solitude
>they meet again
>its revealed that girl was secretly attracted to him the entire time
>they have sex and he leaves
>guy attracts another girl also in a relationship who then leaves it
>in the end, guy has to pick between both girls
>he also has sex with an older woman

pretty obvious

>>9185156
What if Bret fell for a Russian mobster and had kooky criminal adventures? By Donna Tartt

>>9185398
Why does he look angry. I've never been angry when I've had a boner.

>>9185520
He's devious

>>9185521
A devious boner? You can walk around with a boned acting like a deviant? Like all chaotic and stuff???

>>9184953
>scratch on her calf
fucking dropped

>>9185520
Ducks have explosive spiral penises

>>9184901
>>9184953
Wait

WAIT

DEAR FUCKING LORD THAT IS MY EX GIRLFRIEND

I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT LOOKED LIKE HER BUT I JUST REALIZED THAT'S HER PHONE CASE AND PHONE, AS WELL AS THE RED BRA

WHAT THE FUCK

>dad is rich fuck
>move to third world shithole so dad can mine some stupid resources and become even more rich
>dad dies
>mom and I become muslim terrorists
>conquer the imperium

>>9185544
You have three choices now:
1. Post a poorly described novel plot
2. Post more pictures of her for our pleasure
3. Fuck off

>>9185544
sup, Ash?

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>>9185574

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>>9185573
>>9185573
This is one of the only pictures I have, I blocked her on Facebook

>>9185544
Post pics to prove it or I'll assume you're a lying faggot.

>>9185610
>>9185615

>>9185610
>utorrent
jesus christ what a pleb

>>9185649
I used it one time in a pinch for some philosophy pdfs, please don't be rude

>>9185662
utorrent 2.2.1 is still one of the more functional torrent clients out there and there's no shame in using that

every build released after that is bloated adware though

>>9184901
>Reporter quits writing his book and instantly starts to hate everything
>isolates himself so much that he starts questioning everything around him
>goes to Paris to live with his ex

>>9185573
Dune

>kid can't decline latin nouns
>byron is also shit
>spooked
>then unspooked
>wait for the wacky sequel

>>9184924
Blood Meridian?

>>9185776
.... Portrait of the Autist as a Young Man?

Not a novel but
>dude like, mirrors and labyrinths, man.

>>9185814
Yessir

>the WEAK are MEAT
>tfw yung, gifted hedonist
>muh evil government/big business conspiracies
>wacky adventures of an ex-intellectual
>tfw ascended fast food worker
>the end of the world and ev'rything after
>tfw ascended fast food worker
>>wacky adventures of an ex-intellectual
>muh evil government/big business conspiracies
>tfw yung, gifted hedonist
>the WEAK are MEAT

>>9185848
ye

>>9185491
Bingo my man

>Dude takes business trip to the east
>Has a bad run in with the local aristocracy
>A new jack the ripper appears
>Only one man can take him down
>They chase him back to the east
>Take him down

>Four dudes and a girl drink a shitton of wine, and then nothing happens

>guy feels sick

>>9185615
It's quite common to have sad attention-seeking virgins make claims like these on anonymous imageboards. Just ignore them.

>humans make contact with aliens
>alien they meet is an idiot savant
>communicates via tools
>humans see advanced alien civilization
>aliens end up killing humans

>escape from kidnappers
>demons fight over who owns me
>get kidnapped by a smelly demon who turns me into a cow
>I run away and get married in hellfire
>Everything just becomes more and more like a bad acid trip until I leave and then miss the acid trip.
>This is what hatred did

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>>9185055
What an original response.

>>9184953
notice the hiv bandaid next to her

I work at a post office, and I'm a giant piece of shit.

>>9185685
probably a book by Kundera

>>9186411
What the fuck, I posted a picture

>>9185086
Daniel, my dude

>>9184901
A guy and a younger guy wander around town and eventually meet and talk in question-answers

>>9185776
Beneath the Wheel?

>>9186059
The sun Also rises?

>two guys sit on the bench

>>9186978
Ulysses

>>9185760
Yes

>>9186134
Metamorphosis

>>9187089
The Zoo Story?

>>9184901
The Epic of Gilgamesh! I know it's been already said, I'm just happy because I just finished the book and I got it.

>>9184901
>out for a stroll down to the seaside
>sons a pain in the ass
>he means well
>stay away from strangers
>let's sleep in a bunker
>oh fuck I'm dead

>>9185903
Cloud Atlas

>>9184907
>Golf
>moaning
>A never ending search for a quarter
>dirty undies
>A nice swim in the water
>Theft

>autistic permavirgin
>want to go to work put pigeon is blocking door
>autism strikes
>put on all my clothes and leave apt
>plan is to never come back again because it's now "contamined"
>tear pants on way to work
>autism hits again
>jelly of hobo without obligations
>cured of jelly after watching him piss in the park

>>9187304
TS&TF

>>9187306
The Pigeon

>>9184946
Crime and Punishment

>>9185156
"Oh Look at me! A poor white oy from SoHo lofts and a proclivity for fucking bullshit and paintings of birds and oh yea -- self pity!!" by Donna Tartt?

>>9187310
100 points

>>9185573
Preach

>>9185273
The Kreutzer Sonata

>Pigs make for poor leaders
>horses defeat shotguns

>>9187615
Animal Farm, too ez

>>9185675
every version of utorrent is idiotic

>go find some guy in the middle.of nowhere
>expect some hardass
>it's a dying piece of shit actually
>lel I respect him now
>go home
>tell all my friends about it

>>9185272

>literature
>tedious pedantry

Pick 1

>>9187630
Apocalypse Now Redux

>>9187087
Yee

>Be raised by a Demon
>Seduce two sisters
>One cheats on me
>The other kills herself
>End up writing a memoir with the first sister

This is my favourite book

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>>9187293
gj

>>9187630
le petit prince

>>9184953
dem feet

>Leave home
>Pick up a trade in a place of no significance
>Always get shit on by boss even though he just takes credit for your work
>devious.jpeg put a 'key' in someones food
>Said person uses 'key' to explore the whereabouts of where this aforementioned man came from
>Become best at your trade in all the land
>Guy who shoved key in your food comes back and spooks his boss hard

>>9185236
ivan ilyich? i don't understand some of it

>>9184953
i don't want to fuck her i want to be her

>hipster pseud college kids circlejerk over obscure writer
>weird dad acts like a madman
>many rapes

>>9190914
Sounds like every milenial feminist novel

>>9190890
That's weird anon

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>Be me
>Living in shitty rainy failing commune
>Dead guys come back and sweep everyone away
>I hated those guys anyway
>Write in my journal about it, and realize that I can predict their futures

here's three because i can't decide which one to do

>i hate my coworkers
>i hate my wife
>i hate my daughter
>i like my son
>i really hate my mentally challenged son
>son i don't hate dies

>virgin gets discharged from the military
>visits a prostitute
>creates a new religion
>hates a nympho
>blinds himself
>dies

>rich people get engaged
>cousin comes home
>love affair between man and cousin
>wife gets pregnant
>she dies, man refuses to visit cousin

>>9192972
forgot in second
please add ">hates a stupid kid" after creates a new religion

>>9184994
THIS IS FOR SALMAN RUSHDIE

>gt gf younger than me
>her mother kinda doesnt like me
>it works out
>travel a lot with her
>gf is snatched from me

a lot of the descriptions in this thread are not bad enough

>ex-boyfriend plays a joke on me
>or maybe not

>Fucking guy has like high tech everything
>spend the entire story punching creatures in the face.
>dumb sub-plot about some other guy finding his tech, studies it.
>Even dumber reveal that some drunk was really original punchy guy.
>gets his tech back and punches bad guys in the face.
>Oh and he was really king or some shit.

>>9193017
Lolita?

>>9193050
right

>>9188355
What book is this

>>9193096
I guess I'll just post the answer cause no one is guessing. It's Ada. Demon was Van's father's nickname

>>9193017
>>9184955

>>9185131
Of Mice and Men

>be some upper class brat
>meet this super tiny strange fucker
>he fucks my sister
>feels bad man

>>9193021
Crying of Lot 49

>>9186860
Buk

>>9190833
The hearth of darkness

>>9193487
Elliot?

>>9192939
>Menj a kurva anyadba!

>>9193825
>Menj a kurva anyadba
if this means Satantango then you are correct

>nyeeeeeeeeowwwww
>everyone cares what turns me on
>complimentary holiday
>fuck this im out
>where did my fetishes come from
>get laid/high for a few hundred pages
>oh yeah i was trying to find out where my fetishes came from
>fragment
>lightbulb
>kaboom

>>9193779
Belayed yes.

>dad has to change jobs
>dies in the process
>stay at home mom and me become hobos
>fuck a weird loli
>my kid dies
>marry some stuck up bitch
>get a big promotion

>>9184901
>growing up
>dad is a coward and a bully
>get ugly with pizza face
>learn to outdrink someone in their twenties
>see friend serving in the army
>i guess im a coward too

>>9194060
Ham on rye

>>9184901
>the evas are random robos that are no danger compared to shit robot from some old show and fucking mecha godzilla

>>9194133
guess it was obvious

>spy
>become double spy
>goodbye wife
>informant is my only friend
>die nameless
>also something like a dog dying in front of a little girl

>ennui
>smoke cloud
>pills
>death
>Hitler

>>9193860
Gravity's rainbow

>>9194208
White noise

>>9184901
Mexicans terrorize whites until they team up to do pest control and land surveying.

>>9194265
Turner diaries?

> a long joke

>>9194359
Is this the one by William Wallace?

>>9184901

diary consisting of every day telling himself not to be an asshole

>>9188355
This is good my g, but first line should have been some cryptic shit about Marina and Aqua

>>9184901
what if there was a place

>>9194404
Thanks homie, Yeah I probably could have been a little more clever. You're the only person who knew what it was (or even guessed) though, so it was probably oblique enough

>>9195193
Good point, although I don't think very many people have read Ada. What other Nabokov have you read?

>>9195198
Pretty much everything except, 'Look at all the Harlequins,' 'Transparent Things,' 'The Tragedy of Mister Morn,' and 'The Original of Laura,' the latter of which I have a strong aversion to reading.

Have you read any of the above?

>>9187630
Heart of Darkness

>>9184953
>>9184901
I always see this girl posted and, frankly, I'm tired of it.

>>9185610
Unblock her then retard, she's hot and I want pics

>>9190914
bolaño??

>Be only heir to the most powerful family in the land
>Everything is swell, I'm the best
>Some dick head comes along and murders my pa
>Feeling like screeching uncontrollably but instead round up the family
>We all grab torches reeeeee
>Kill some neighbors
>Die
>The senpai goes on LARPing the reeefest

>>9194060
my diary desu

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>>9188440
>le

>fukken spiders
>moralistic military junta's are the best form of democracy
>Argentinians eternally btfo

>>9195476
Pedrobear Paramo.

>>9187282
The Road? Haven't read it.

>>9185467
It's got to be something by Hemingway.

>>9196999
Bingo

>>9196718
that shitty space movie
>>9190914
>t. only read half of the book

>>9185610
Am I the only one who thinks that arm is waaaay too long?

>>9194022
Dune