Absolute shit books you liked as a kid

>>9176045
Yeah. I picked it up when it came out, bc I liked the name, but then I read the blurb on the back and dropped it. I still look at it longingly and think: if only you weren't a fuckING MARY SUE.

Pick a fucking genre Derek

Read it too, I hated it even then.

>>9176045
Also none, because I had impeccable taste, even as a child.

Okay, there was ONE series.

Avalon: Web of Magic

The fucking orange shit on each page was actually completely useless and served no purpose aesthetically, I still have my copy and it just looks like someone turned each page while holding a hand full of cheetos. As for the contents, couldn't say. I never read it, I was like 9 maybe when I got it on a world book day thing for School, I thought it looked cool.

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>>9176045
This shit. I almost read the whole series, but when I started the fifth I had forgotten everything that came before. Truly popcorn literature.

>>9176165
yeah, i read the first one years ago, and literally all I remember is blue food.

Then I wanted to read it again, in the hopes of reading the series (it'd take me a week, tops) because I get a kick out of kids getting traumatized.

But then the third line is something like "I'm just a normal 12 year old" and noped the fuck out. Jesus Christ.

Still want to read Animorphs though.

>>9176181
>Still want to read Animorphs though.

I'm surprised you haven't. The non-ghostwritten parts are some of the better children's books that have been written.

Darren Shan
>Demon Thief best book

>>9176908
Jesus he wrote some violent shit for YA standards. I would know, I read almost everything he wrote

>>9176045
Ayyyy niggaa!!!! This was on one of those bookmarks they send you with bookdepository orders. NIGGGGAAA!!!!

Some girl in highschool convinced me to read Harry Potter. By the time I was on the 3rd book I couldn't remember shit from the first so I quit. She did o the 4th and gave the collectio she had away as a present. Utter shit.

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>that one part

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>>9176045
I loved that series!
Read something like the first 7 books and continued by the others but never read them.
I learned Englisch from Derek Landy.
Book Covers were beautiful imho.
Would absolutely hate it if I read some today but in my memories I liked it.

>>9177206
Loved the bit when he's having a bath and the plot turns into a porno where he fucks the older sister of the boy he's meant to befriend.
>11 year old me had such a hard on

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It was a simpler time then in middle school

chick lit

I loved Eragon and Eldest when I was ten. Still kind of disgusted with what utter shit taste I had. They were bad even for children's books.

Captain Underpants

>>9177399
M E T O O ! ! ! ! ! i miss book fairs or in elementary when we had the scholastic book catalogue each week and could order :')

>>9177306
The interlude when the MC is sent to a purgatory-state in the last or second to last book was kino, saying nothing of the ending

books that shook my world + exposed me to a side of life i had no idea could exist:
- go ask alice
- a child called it

- roald dahl lit up my life and i could never keep away


the first 2 - i can still feel the heartache from reading the first time. also i miss maxing out 2-3+ library cards a week and having stacks and stacks of books

>>9177422
Yeah, I didnt understand what the fuck happened towards the end, but I enjoyed the series nonetheless. Evra was such a cool character/concept as well as Larten.

Goosebumps. Shit is still gold.

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>>9176165
>>9176181
it's not the worst
rick's jokes aren't that bad for a kid's book
popcorn lit is a good way to describe it, but there are definitely worse offenders out there

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Not even certain if it is shit but I remember I absolutely loved this book as a kid.

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did anyone else read this as a kid? I think I just bought it because of the badass scorpion and the medals. weeeeird book.

>>9177438
fuck yeah and i still own literally every single book

>>9177559

I really liked that one.

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>when your friend wasn't allowed to read fantasy novels so he convinced you to read these so he could talk about them with someone

>>9177559
I received it as a gift but I never got around to it.
Worth reading as an adult?

Andy Griffiths JUST series was pretty great when I was 6-10 years old.

>>9177588
When I was like 10-12 or so when it came out I really had to push myself into reading it. Honestly I don't think I understood most of it. I think I'd like it more now as there were some adult themes that went way over my head

fanfiction and literotica

>>9177596
Andy Griffiths is literary kino

>>9177206
had my first orgasm to this desu

>>9176553
>>9176553
Yeah, when I was a kid I didn't like aliens much. (I thought they lacked mysticism or some shit), so I spent most of my time reading Anne Mccaffrey and Tamora Pierce, which, Tamora Pierce is fantastic, but I missed out on that window to really get into Animorphs.

>>9177585
>your friend wasn't allowed to read fantasy novels
Oh god.

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I loved these. Especially the whole "porn with people your age only it's not super illegal" thing.
>>9176908
The Thin Executioner is straight up babbylit. It's fucking Gilgamesh but for kids.

That Wind Singer series isn't bad either.
>>9177173
Bad taste my friend.

>>9177588
It's a YA sci-fi.

The Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew series. Basically the same thing with the sexes changed. I had Hardy Boys ones and my sister had some Nancy Drews, and we'd swap them.
Also Dr Who books.

I haven't read any of these since I was a kid, so I'm just assuming they were actually shit even though my memories of them are good.

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>>9177917
M8 a song of ice and fire is not shit, also the show got back on track on season 6

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This one is not half bad, but it is kinda written like a total weeb fan fiction. Still, it's a great way for kids to learn about Japan's culture.

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>>9176045
>AND HE'S THE GOOD GUY

>>9177206
Kids would just say the page number out of context and we all knew what they were saying

>>9177908
I sorta wanna read Animorphs again. I want that 90s nostalgia again.

>>9176045
what katy did
the percy jackson series ;_;
>>9176165
I fell for it

The nancy drew / hardy boys stuff

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Many, many years ago.

>>9178476
....

Synopsis?

>>9178484
bums are sentient and want to cover the world in shit from a bumvolcano or something

then these people try to stop them with these nail guns, because that deflates bums or some shit

it was a long time ago

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>>9178520

>>9178520
So are these bums actually people's bums that have become detached? Or are they just a race of sentient humanoid asses?

>>9178520
Is this potentially the best story ever conceived by man?

>>9178545
yeah it's fucked up

>>9178575
I can't remember very well, but I do remember being confused about this myself. Probably because I was so young, but I never fully understood if the bums were detached or not, or how the people shit after they did.

>>9178581
very possibly

>>9178285
>a song of ice and fire is not shit, also the show got back on track on season 6
pfffhahaha

>>9178597
The bums were, if I recall correctly, actuslly people's bums who evolved detached. But, reading into the expanded universe (yes, there is an expanded universe), bums used to be on heads, but humans are a species that evolved to make bums be bums. Or some weird shit. Also, bums evolved to be both detachable and sentient, or sapient to be more specific. It's some weird shit.

Australian novels are as weird as japanese ones sometimes.

>>9178610
Oh, and before I forget, Andy Griffiths also wrote another series, but this one was a weird high school slice of life animesque thing. Or Light Novel-esque. It was about this kid and his class, and how they got a new real weird teacher, and then suddenly everything becomes magical somehow and there are even anime archetypal characters I think.

One part about that series I specifically remember is how once they were told to train in their imagination, and did, and they eventually became actually stronger and faster. At the time I didn't see anything wrong with that but now...

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I used to think I was just too hardcore reading these while all my mates were still into Goosebumps.

>that opening scene with all the chads getting shotgunned at a house party

>>9178329
this desu