POETS.org

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>press enter in the middle of a fucking sentence
>I maek potterey!

>>9175715
fuck off, you don't understand poetic mechanics if you think this is prose chopped up indiscriminately

>>9175724
The eleventh line doesn't work though.

>>9175724
Yeah fuck off, arguably the first enjambment has meaning, every other is just shit
>singing to me from across the forbidden
>
>
>
>..
>wait for it
>
>
>what could it be oh boy
>

>SIDE

>>9175742
>every enjambment needs to be subversive
that's gimmicky

>>9175737
eh, it's not the strongest but it prevents the piece from slowing down before the attempted big finish
I was just arguing its clearly intentional with line-breaks and pepe-the-poet doesn't understand something

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>>9175715
Op here. This was funny. Have another poem curtsey of poets dot org.

>>9175699
wow I sure feel liberated now
thanks satan, I did exactly what you told me and was driven out from paradise and almost got myself and my husband killed

now I can do whatever I want except live a comfy leisurely life, roaming around the garden naked like a neet

>>9175742
Kek

>>9175844
i sure hate being a housewife and having to work a total of maybe 4 hours a day, I would much rather work 8 hours plus 4 hours of overtime for barely enough to live on

>>9175715
I'm gonna enjamb my cock in your mouth bitch!

I agree, it's not bad, but very imperfect, and does not really put a new spin on the old topic. Perhaps she will produce something of import later. The last two lines are not as significant as they think they are. What was the point of this thread, OP?