Wanna critique some shit??

>>9151016
>>9151021
>fuck fucking fucker fucked

>>9151030
>he's to fucking weak

File: ramsay_bolton_by_winglessrin-d995axt.jpg (74KB, 800x453px) Image search: [Google]

74KB, 800x453px

okay that's all of it, and yes I know it swears a lot and yes I know it's edgy. don't tell me it's too edgy I swear to fucking god that's the whole point.

Publishers were pretty much right. They missed out the 'bland' and 'over the top' statements too. But that's not to say all is lost. It reads as an amateur write, and practice makes perfect. My guess is that you're pretty young.

>>9151035
ty should be too

>>9151045
wrote it when i was 19

>>9151054
That makes sense. Strange suggestion I know, but I feel like getting into poetry reading would help you. I know it did for me at least in terms of my literary style. But also this story you've written seems in the ilk of William Burroughs and I'd recommend him if you haven't already read him. I don't know what your influences are really.

>>9151062
so why bland though, too much build up? not enough gore? idk how to make it interesting

>>9151067
gore is almost never the answer. Gore is usually quite dull in large doses in my opinion. Bland might not necessarily be the right word. 'Generic' works as a description, and I'm just not sure this character's inner thoughts are as interesting or remarkable as you would need for the story to be interesting. What you need is a more interesting protagonist; someone who is believable but not generic, and has complexities

>>9151054

How old are you now...

>>9151199
22?

>>9151095
what type of complexities? in the previous chapters it there are some. like he's mute from trauma in his past so his thoughts are like the window the reader gets to see that no one else does. People don't really know that he's mute because he keeps to himself so much.

>>9151016
All the fucks in here distract from the prose and plot.

>>9151278
he's meant to be violently minded, the type of guy who would say fuck every other word.