Homework Help

>>9135491

[The stage is set as messy room of a young woman. Clothes strewn about the floor, an unkempt bed, a desk with just enough space for a laptop between the stacks of clutter and colorful holiday lights lining the window are immediately noticeable. A young woman is heard giggling beyond the door STAGE LEFT]
TARYNN: [Laughing] I’m just lucky I made it through today without getting arrested.
[TARYNN enters through the door while talking on the latest cellphone]
TARYNN: Well before I even got to class, this white guy with one of those mustaches that turns into sideburns was sitting like he owned the bus. I was sitting across from him and he wouldn’t stop staring right at me!

[TARYNN takes her yoga pants off and plops her filled backpack down by her desk]
TARYNN: Right?! Like why don’t you watch your weight before watching me! So anyways, I put the other headphone in and just ignored him until I got off at the next stop. My first two classes were as boring as usual, but my third hour is where I literally almost punched a guy.

[TARYNN laughs and a knock on the door goes unnoticed]

TARYNN: You know that quiet guy I told you about? The one who always sits next to me? Today he showed up wearing one of those hats!
[A louder knock on the door]
MOM: Tarynn?
TARYNN: Uggh hold on one sec. [TARYNN opens the door] What, mom?
MOM: You didn’t even say ‘hi’ to me when you came in, you just stormed up here. Is everything ok?
TARYNN: [Raises her voice] I’m fine! Is dinner ready yet?
MOM: It will be in a few minutes, I just wanted to check up on you.
TARYNN: Well I’m fine, come get me when dinner is ready.
[MOM exits and TARYNN closes the door behind her]

>>9135492
TARYNN: [back into the phone] So anyways, it’s like I couldn’t believe it, but I could, you know? [Sits down at the desk and places the laptop from her bag onto the desk] I asked him nicely the first time to take his hat off, but he just looked at me with that blank expression he always has and went back to his phone. The second time I got right in his face and straight up told him “there is ZERO tolerance for hate speech on this campus.” [Pauses to listen to the phone] Exactly. So, I could feel everyone in the class staring at us, but Dr. Toriyama walked in then and I didn’t want to get in trouble and have to listen to a lecture through that annoying accent of his, so I just gave Adolf a look to show him I meant business. Then I moved over another seat. [Pauses to listen while setting up her laptop] Yeah, I can feel it in my blood; tonight’s going to be another Michigan. I’m going to try to fit in one more phone bank before the polls close, I’ll talk to you later. Match me? [Laughs and hangs up the phone]
TARYNN: [Typing] Ok… let’s see here… I’ll try this one. [Dials into the phone] … hello? Hi, this is a grass-roots representative for the Bernie Sanders campaign. Are you ready to join our revolution? The polls are closing soon, are you- [Looks at phone and sighs] Results are probably coming back now anyways, I’ve done enough phone-banking as is.
[Types and clicks on the laptop]

TARYNN: This can’t be right… [clicks around some more] No… [clicking intensifies] Of course CNN says Hillary is winning, but even 270 is putting Bernie behind! [Slams laptop shut and begins pacing around the room] What the fuck is happening?! It wasn’t supposed to be like this! I thought he was polling well in New York? This is so fucked!
[A knock on the door followed by MOM entering with a plate of chicken nuggets]
MOM: Tarynn, I brought you a plate of tendies. I thought-
[TARYNN smacks the plate out of MOM’s hands]

TARYNN: REEEEEEE!
MOM: Tarynn what the hell is wrong with you?!
TARYNN: Get out of my room! [TARYNN pushes MOM out and slams the door behind her] Now there’s food all over the floor! [Distressed] I don’t know what to do! I didn’t mean to do that to mom, but I’m literally in shock right now! Bernie can’t lose! I need Bernie to be the president so he can fix this broken country! I don’t want to believe the world is so corrupt! [TARYNN sits on the floor, beginning to sob] I can’t fucking deal with this right now; I feel like I’m going to explode! What the fuck is happening? I need a future to believe in! [sobs]

>>9135491

>one-act play

>>9135508
yeah it's a bullshit assignment. has to be between 500 and 1000. Like how can I get any actual story going on in 2 pages? But whatever, teacher probably has students not giving a fuck most of the time so this just cuts her time spent reading bullshit.

does the play seem good enough to turn in?

What's the tone supposed to be? You're obviously making fun of her for the most part but to end it like that makes it seem rather tragic.

>>9135561
uhhh it's kind of mocking the annoying liberals like her. Intended audience are people who voted trump/people who laugh at obnoxious millennials. Like the end is "haha she's crying and feels like her world is coming down when in reality she's crazy and normal people feel ok"

fwiw I voted bernie in the primary so I don't want this to comeoff as leaking from /pol/ or /b/

>>9135572
>she's crazy and normal people feel ok
Try showing this more, have her brother come in and ask about something trivial or something. Ending with a girl crying on the floor and needing something to believe in is just kind of sad, to me at least.
It's good enought to turn in either way though.

>>9135621
HAve her brother come in and ask to borrow multiple things, like : hey sis, can you spare some _________ No! get out! Get it on your own! go get it your self! "Hey sis, can you spare some oats?" No!

>>9135491
Plot twist: She becomes a Trump voter.

>>9135621
Idk, I think it's more like Republicans/conservatives/Trump voters would laugh at the ending like "haha, dumb millennial thinks her world is coming to an end and there's no hope when in reality Trump is gonna MAGA." The implication is that her sense of hopelessness is unjustified because in 2017 we as the reader/audience know that Trump is president. Kind of like how at the end of Apocalypto the Spanish ships are on the horizon

>>9135677
Yes, have her go down to clean up the spilled tendies, and she fines a golden one, a golden chicken nugget, she becomes rich, or queen of the neets, and grapples with implementing her bernie system to rule the kingdom of Neets

>>9135732
if youre not the op, this is too the op, or you too. I think that person was unintentiaonlly complimenting the OPs writing, for being so geniuine, natural, lifelike and heartfelt, that he actually sympathized with the characters, I got it too, good descriptions and imagery

>>9135732
Really depends on how it is played out. The kind of dumb millennials who get laughed at by right wingers and the general internet are always highly melodramatic:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gy6spOAbxhg
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dEwlLF5v1IQ
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZIpkdusnIkE

A genuine crying teenager sobbing in her room might have the opposite effect.

>>9135677
>>9135738
It's supposed to be a short assignment. This is the fucking problem with the American education system: it is designed to help the under acheivers get-by instead of the over acheivers excell. I've written fun fan-fics for friends' birthdays and stuff, I have no problem being creative, but schools don;t appreciate excellence.

>>9135741
yeah I'm op and >>9135732
You do feel kinda bad for Tarynn, because it sucks when someone feels like shit, but ultimately you have to laugh because it's a sense of hopelessness entirely fabricated by Tarynn. in 2017 we know Trump is president and personal politics aside his slogan is MAGA, so it's at least a hopeful message. It's a problem she creates subjectively, not a problem that exists objectively

>>9135741
>complimenting OP

But yeah OP, it's pretty good. We are nitpicking at this point

>>9135732
>The implication is that her sense of hopelessness is unjustified because in 2017 we as the reader/audience know that Trump is president
Wouldn't that make her feel even worse? Also why do you have Trump supporters as an audience in mind? Did your teacher vote for him?

>>9135761
here's my intro:
Spoiled Tendies was conceived as a humorous play designed to poke fun at the stereotypical millennial that spent exuberant amounts of resources to win Bernie Sanders the Democratic nomination for President of the United States during the 2016 election. Most important is the setting: a room neglected in favor of an online world by an egocentric young woman too idealistic to see a hope for her future. It’s the tiny details that send the largest messages, and the room this play takes place in should give the audience all they need to judge the character of Tarynn, the protagonist. The play begins by establishing a familiar schema for someone who so proudly champions the cause of Bernie Sanders, and quickly ascends to a climax of emotional upheaval as Tarynn is faced with a seemingly impossible reality. While some audiences may feel the ending lackluster, and others might go so far as to dub the play as “offensive,” a conservative audience will no doubt find the entirety of the play to be humorous, and at its end can be found a satisfying- if not harsh- resolution to the perceived problem in Tarynn’s life.

>gun get dat Ayyy

>>9135762
lol no teacher probably voted Hillary in the primary but idc, my play is the bomb and she seems open minded enough to not fuck my grade up over something like this. If anything happens I'm confident enough in my ability to persuade her into seeing things from a perspective beneficial to me. I didn't write this because I pictured a Trump supporter audience, I worte it because I'm flagship Gen Z so I love memes and copypasta's and internet stuff like that so I thought it'd be fun to turn a copypasta into a play. It just so happens that Trump supporters would probably get the most enjoyment out of this, but that's ok. Too many liberals in the arts anyways lol.

Maybe it's just my time on 4chan but I think this is some good-tier dark humor. Nothing crazy or edgy, but still worth a chuckle.

>>9135748
>but schools don;t appreciate excellence.
How would it help you if you wrote a 20 or 100 page play and handed it in to school.

In your own free time, you can try to write a 20 or 100 page play. and maybe make money off it, or just have that as a learning experience...

You are right, they dont care for excellence: "I wanted to write a 100 page play for my freshmen englsh 101 so I could get an A+++++++++