original /lit/ memes

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>>9131940

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Louis C.K. rolls on stage, his worm body hanging over his Ixian cart, crushes a stool with five-ton body. His face is somber.

>Fremen... I wanna be serious for a moment. I've got something I need to say.
*Crowd murmurs, some worried faces in the audience*
>My Hwi... my Hwi just gave birth to a healthy Harkonnen baby boy!
*Crowd erupts in cheers and applause, cries of "Congratulations!"*
>Nine months ago my wife was bred by a strong Harkonnen bull, and today I held the product of his virile seed in my indestructible arms. I couldn't have been more proud.
>But you know, when I was in the nursery, I looked around at the other babies too. And when I looked at the Atreides babies...
*Crowd begins to hiss and boo*
>I know how you feel, everyone. But when I looked at the Atreides babies, and more specifically the, uh, diaper area. I noticed that they all had...
*Crowd shouts in unison "LITTLE ATREIDES SANDTROUT!"*
>I couldn't believe how tiny those things were! I felt SORRY for the women who have had to put up with THAT for the past three millennia!
*Laughter*
>But when I looked down at the baby in my arms, I could see from one glance that he had a...
*Crowd shouts in unison "BIG HARKONNEN SANDWORM!"*
>I was like "Damn, this thing is bigger than me, and he's just a baby!" So much for "the golden path", huh?
*More laughter*
>I know one day he's gonna please a LOT of Atreides women unhappy with their husbands' tiny sandtrout, just like me!
*Cheers mix into the laughter, one Bene Gesserit shouts, "Me first, me first!"*
>Sorry, but there's already a hundred Face Dancers ahead of you on the list.
*Crowd "aw"s*
>Hey, you MIGHT be able to get to the top of the list... if you ride the worm of every Tleilaxu here, right now!
*Crowd explodes with excitement, chants of "SIAYNOQ!" and "Ride that Shai-Hulud!" erupt. The woman's husband cheers her on as she gets on her knees in front of the first Tleilaxu. The show ends as everyone watches the woman service Tleilaxu after Tleilaxu.*

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>>9131953

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>>9131977

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/books/authors/dont-make-fun-of-renowned-dan-brown/

What happened to that guy who used the supercomputer at his uni to write a novel using finnegans wake and hitchhikers?

>>9132862
police came to arrest him and he drew a gun, so they blew him up with a grenade