>the author doesnt leave the sex scene ambiguous

>author uses Victorian-tier euphemisms for genitals

>>9074876
>he thrust his shimmering nephrite scepter into her velvet cave of passion

File: IMG_20170119_164259.jpg (4KB, 85x119px) Image search: [Google]

4KB, 85x119px

>describes vagina as 'her sex'

>author says phallice or buttocks

>>9074847
>Suck these balls wench
It's a great book I'm writing about traveling Renaissance Fair folk, really groundbreaking stuff.

>>9074905

>describes vagina as 'her moist flappy bits'
>describes dick as 'the long schlong'

>>9074905

this one's straight out of fanfiction

>calls her anus 'her shitter'

>calls her queef the cuntbreathe

>>9075090
Hahahaha top kek

>>9074905
Always stop reading right there

>>9074905
>>9074902
>>9074876

Lol this is funny

okay so what are appropriate things to call genitalia in a book?

manhood?
mound?
donkey dick?

Im serious /lit/ what is acceptable?

>revers to fucking as "love making"
>uses flowery language like he's trying to gild his body odor with rose water
>writes about sex at all

tfw i haven't come across a bearable sex scene yet

File: mfw.png (125KB, 735x422px) Image search: [Google]

125KB, 735x422px

>>9074907
>author uses Latin to describe what goes where.

>>9074905
this one always just seems weird and childish

>>9075211
just talk like a normal human being. cock dick, pussy or whatever.

>>9075211
It's still pretty not great but referring to the act merely in he's and she's can be okay i.e. he did x, she x'd him, and sho on and sho on

>>9075211
>Shaft
>Eternal wound
As in his shaft utterly destroyed and widened her eternal wound.

>>9075225
>>writes about sex at all
What is life without sex?
non existent

>>9075233
cock and dick sound good.

pussy does not in print for some reason I think. Got anything else anybody?

>>9075225
sex scenes should be left to movies desu porn movies preferably

File: asspussyrolereversal.jpg (26KB, 217x199px) Image search: [Google]

26KB, 217x199px

>>9074847

>>9075253
>What is life without sex?
>non existent
I've gone 23 years without it and am likely to go another 23 without it as well
I still live pls kill me

>>9075253
but writing is not life

show me one acceptably written sexual encounter and i will change my mind

stench trench? axe wound? fur burger?

seriously, anything that isn't pussy, snatch or cunt is unacceptable. which is sad because those words are lame

File: 700px-Romney_x_Obama_2.jpg (57KB, 700x394px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 700x394px

>>9075302
>I've gone 23 years without it and am likely to go another 23 without it as well
>I still live pls kill me

Go to thailand m8. or Amsterdam red light district. Seriously, save some money for the trip and spread your seed.
Also you'll be non existent soon enough
don't let your line end with you

>>9075303
>stench trench? axe wound? fur burger?
>seriously, anything that isn't pussy, snatch or cunt is unacceptable.

Pussy snatch or cunt is still unacceptable.
Come on somebody think of a passable phrase for a vagina.

File: 1470073047316.jpg (73KB, 1000x675px) Image search: [Google]

73KB, 1000x675px

>>9074847
>>9075299
>author doesn't write sex scenes like its japanese hentai

File: platformsansspoiler.jpg (847KB, 1500x860px) Image search: [Google]

847KB, 1500x860px

>>9074905

File: 1432182628588.jpg (383KB, 2396x3116px) Image search: [Google]

383KB, 2396x3116px

>>9075406
>he doesn't ejaculate lengthily

File: 1452093595537.jpg (125KB, 540x720px) Image search: [Google]

125KB, 540x720px

>>9074905
>her cunt became the world

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=foUS4WHtP4Y

File: 1483491608334.jpg (25KB, 607x315px) Image search: [Google]

25KB, 607x315px

>yoni

File: 1485295241919.jpg (8KB, 250x225px) Image search: [Google]

8KB, 250x225px

>>9075855
>"Torolf almost had a dick aneurism."
>"his throbbing meat wand"

>>9075858
Thats the language of the chosen people isnt it

>>9075855
>>9075875
Holy fuck women are retarded
http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/612684.Rough_and_Ready_Viking_II_6_

File: Zhe Peacock.jpg (223KB, 1920x1080px) Image search: [Google]

223KB, 1920x1080px

I Love fucking all of your beautiful words, here's something that made me cum on your "MOUNTAIN TOPS'', - alongside, Young Jeff with his magnetic Mangum Magnum inside some dead-spooky Jewish pussy.

---------------------------------------------------------------

"If your chatte belle was a book, I would chat to it, and read it everyday, all day, and write all kinds of things in it, and outside of it - an infinite amount of dissertation papers are always at the ready;

Your Abyssia has the greatest words upon your pages that's in the tiniest print possible, with a line dividing each page, and your poesie became a classic;

which will be assigned as the universal textbook for all of the most deserving Professors to try to fathom, and to attempt to teach to Students, - when you have long departed from this world.

If your Religion does not keep you alive forever; then memories of you will; for you are the most incomprehensible book I read, and I haven't even finished the first syllable; and you go on and on and on; as you tell me, - come on and on and on; I won't say what you want me to say; because I amour you too much to say it."

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Read some Beta-faggot old Billy-Bard-upon Avon, he was Shaking his Speare all day, night, till day came again to that tight-lightly-luminescent-pussy:

"Whoever hath her wish, thou hast thy Will,
And Will to boot, and Will in overplus;
More than enough am I, that vex thee still,
To thy sweet will making addition thus.
Wilt thou, whose will is large and spacious,
Not once vouchsafe to hide my will in thine?
Shall will in others seem right gracious,
And in my will no fair acceptance shine?
The sea, all water, yet receives rain still,
And in abundance addeth to his store;
So thou, being rich in Will, add to thy Will
One will of mine, to make thy large Will more.
Let no unkind, no fair beseechers kill;
Think all but one, and me in that one Will."