Thread replies: 9
Thread images: 2
Thread images: 2
File: correia.jpg (59KB, 540x720px) Image search:
[Google]
59KB, 540x720px
Now, if you don’t want to be one of those boring old writers that make a living off this stuff, and instead you are in this for the “art” and to win prestigious literary awards, let me give you some helpful hints on things you need to put into your book to get awards. The more the better.
1.Make it dreary and impossible to understand. The more befuddling the better.
2.Don’t resolve anything. Resolutions are so bourgeois.
3. Somebody has to get raped. If it is sci-fi, rape a robot.
4. Suicide is good too.
5. Humor is not allowed, unless it is ironic hipster humor that mocks the establishment.
6. If there is an antagonist, make him a thinly veiled version of Dick Cheney.
7. Right-wing dystopia OR evil all-controlling religion. (bonus points for both!)
8. Gay cowboys eating pudding.
9. Make every single character unlikable. If you accidentally create a likable character, see #3 or #4.
10. Moral compasses are so passé. Have your protagonist sexually assault a horse or something.
11. Drug abuse is fun for the whole family. Somebody better be huffing paint.
12. Global warming. Award juries love dying polar bears.
>>
was this supposed to be funny?
>>
>>9056319
All good points except 6, 7, 8 and 12.
>>
>>9056343
This. It sounds like it's some middle-aged pleb genrefag's retarded idea of literature that he resents because it makes him feel stupid. Likely cribbed from some vapid blog.
>>
>>9057482
Though one thing I can give him some leeway on is his disdain for liberalism. The ultra-liberal ~artiste~ who can't help but vapidly force their political views into everything they do is one of the douchiest and most tired cliches among authors in 20th and 21st century literature.
>>
>>9057482
>>9056319
The real answer to how to get literary awards is to make your book about the lives of the people who give the awards and read the award winning books. Make them feel like their lives are important and worth reading about. Franzens been riding on that his whole career.
>>9057502
People have been using Novels to preach since Novels started being a thing.
>>
>>9057514
While technically true, they weren't all that obnoxious about it or if they were there's sometimes enough distance between the contemporary reader and what they were talking about in terms of their current events for it not to matter.
>>
>>9057482
monsterhunternation.com
>>
File: costanzaxp.jpg (28KB, 500x375px) Image search:
[Google]
28KB, 500x375px
>using obscure words you found in a thesaurus just to make english teachers cum
I seriously hope you il/lit/erates don't do this
Thread posts: 9
Thread images: 2
Thread images: 2