Writing test for /lit/ (shit)posters

Geoffrey's heart pumped as he moved across the the boundless stretch. When suddenly, CRASH! BOOM! BANG! An intruder has entered your home. You have five seconds to explain why you don't own a handgun?

>>9046465
Joffrey's lips curled up to a cruel grin as he leaned back in the Iron Throne, watching Sansa Stark's flesh turn black under the flames. The shrill screams of his former wife-to-be echoed throughout the throne room, pleasing Joffrey's ears like a tender kiss. They gave to Joffrey utter certainty that his fifty year reign would bring to Westeros a new golden age.

I cringed letter by letter reading this thread. Why the fuck are you idiots even unironically trying?

shut the fuck up geoffrey

KABOOM mama made cinamin buns w000000000000000000000000

>>9046528
This is good

File: 1468621467256.jpg (146KB, 800x600px) Image search: [Google]

146KB, 800x600px

Geoffrey used his left and right feet, putting them infront of each other one at a time at a fast rate to do the act of running. His foot, left or right, is caught on a brown tree branch laying on the ground because by the way he is in a meadow running though it and he feel because of the motion of running that he was in. When his head made contact with the ground he must have hit a rock or something because the impact knocked him out. After sleeping for a couple of several minutes he found a LUMP forming on his head.

*freeze frame* *record scratch* YEP, that's me laying there but let me begin from the start .........

>>9046465
He lurched back, a throbbing pain in his head, and picked grass and dirt from his lips. Behind him was the fence that bordered the meadow, and ahead was the tree-line. He hopped to his feet and ran.