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Anonymous
rate my edgy scribbles 2017-01-29 04:55:26 Post No. 9035419
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rate my edgy scribbles 2017-01-29 04:55:26 Post No. 9035419
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I have experienced love after having lived a life as if constantly besieged by everything outside the walls of my mind, everyone around me my enemy trying to break in seeking only to impose their will through force or manipulations, wanting to understand only in order to overcome and destroy. All their intent aimed at undermining or inflicting. The thrills of this relentless despair, dread and hardships that threaten the existence of my inner being have become my sweetest phantasms. The contents of their interactions superseded by sensing their, revulsion, despise, hatred, repulsion and revilement, all the more so when wanting what is given to them unconditionally and without price.
I have come to know no greater satisfaction than to be denied.
Love can not begin to hold a candle to the overwhelming significance of the sensations that struggle and relentless existential dread in every moment bring, having to fight over every word and every breath, the stimuli that love brings is but a fleeting soothing peaceful embrace no more significant than a summer breeze, it that falls short as utterly insubstantial compared to the sense of force of fighting, overcoming and become ever stronger by being beset by all of existence fighting against yours.
I have become so accustomed to the overwhelming stimulation of absolute imperative distress, dread and despair that I find myself longing for prospects of impending malice,reveling in cruelty, hoping for betrayal and satisfaction in being threatend with demise, I find myself unwilling and incapable of being without it.
Love can not begin to sate this lust for torment, fundamentally opposed and disconnected from its fleeting soothing peaceful bliss, the magnitude, significance and intensity of this perpetuating struggle brings so much more intensely exceeding sensations then love could ever hope to touch within me. It pales in comparison as if it were only as star in the night sky compared to the scorching presence of the desert sun.
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Just post it in a critique thread you fucking idiot
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>>9035428
The only one up is intended for poetry.
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>only to impose their will through force or manipulations
stopped reading here,,
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>>9035419
I enjoyed your post.
And a month ago I would have been able to relate.
But my heart was shaken recently .. and it makes me wonder if you haven't experienced love. Or at least... maybe it's been so long that you forgot what it is like. Because struggle and relentless torment, the desire for personal perfection - tension, all of that is love too.
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Hurr durr am I deep and emotional please read my emo diary
Fuck off and write something of substance, fagget
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>>9035765
>Because struggle and relentless torment, the desire for personal perfection - tension, all of that is love too.
Is it 'love' if it is a love of not being loved?
Seems paradoxical .
>>9035787
It's a soldier coming back from a war who finds solace in writing if that helps, thank you for your critique though.
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>>9035419
I like it, beyond breddy gud
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>>9035821
>Is it 'love' if it is a love of not being loved?
.... yes. That is.
I didn't get that impression... that you loved not being loved. I got the idea that the struggle and tension have come to represent a job well done. Hard work. Something meaningful and to be proud of.
I'm just saying a good relationship, and love has these aspects too. You don't have to forsake your identity and relationship with tension, to have love,
Thank you for your service. <3
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>>9037036
>>Is it 'love' if it is a love of not being loved?
>.... yes. That is.
*it is paradoxical, I mean.
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