>tfw high self-awareness

>tfw nitzschean ethics
>but i'm also a coward hedonist because i engage in escapism and masturbate (don't use drugs though)
>i know i'm wrong but i'm too much of a pussy to embrace full ubermensch induced madness

>>9025807
Embrace Fascism as a coping mechanism

>>9025807
more like high narcissism

get over yourself

>>9025807
that's a good thing, idiot.

>>9027167
>>9025807
>tfw high self and environmental awareness

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>tfw to self aware to be smart

>tfw high awareness
>tfw terrible self-esteem

Unlucky combo

You just need to keep going down that road my man. It'll be a blessing.

You just need to be YOUR self!

>>9027258

>>9027258
literally me.

i am surrounded by idiots in my shitty wagecuck job that believe i just dont get their terrible jokes. of course i am too much of a coward to speak up

>>9027258
Literally the worst combination
You know your stuff is shit and that makes you want to quit

>>9027259
elaborate

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>tfw high self-awareness, high integrity, high creativity, high affectivity, high empathy, high intelligence, mid attachment, low desire

>>9027580
Not thatguybut I came here to post the same thing

There's a very shitty period of self-awareness in which you are too aware of everything you do and overanalyze everything. I assume you're in it. I was in it

And then I kept focusing more and more on it. Kept analyzing myself more and more until it instead turned into mindfulness. (google if you're not sure what it is)

I'm now very happy and comfortable with myself, and on a serious path to enlightenment. I'm not far in at all, but I'm in the path and I can tell you it's already all perfrctly blissful.

Ask anything you want, too

>>9027999
Kantian Enlightenment or Buddhist Enlightenment? Big difference

>>9027999
Does it all start out with you starting to be self aware of things that you do? Like your habits and what goes on around you? Then you start to feel like ultimately
Nothing matters and there's no point to anything in the grand scheme of everything? Because that's how I feel and I would love to know I could get to enlightenment at some point

>>9027258
Pretty sure its impossible to have decent self-esteem if you're at all self-aware.

>>9028130
From those two, Buddhist I suppose. It's spiritual.

>>9028136
Yes. But then you must start to become aware of your own mind. Meditation makes this easy. Every time you think something, try to then look at the thought objectively. See where it came from, see why you thought it.

Continue like this and eventually you'll be on the right path, once you start to realize how reality works, even if you only know 0.001% of it.

>>9028142
Questioning my own thoughts seem difficult as it is. I guess I have a long way to go

>>9028188
You do, as do I.

Just know that if you have in your heart a sincere longing for Truth, and are truly in the path of Seeking, God will reveal Himself to you.

It will all eventually be clear, don't worry about it anon.

>>9028219
You're saying I'm ultimately seeking God?

>>9028219
Dark Night of the Soul

>>9028219
Finally taking the Leap of Faith like Kierkegaard and not embracing the absurd instead. Fucking pleb.

>>9028251
look anon, i know there are a lot of ways for enlightenment. But those are individual paths and struggle which needs to be found individually. I know it's sucks. But it will pass. everything is just temporarily. There are no absolute truths.

Tell me, what worries you the most? maybe we can untie the disjointed knots one by one.

>>9028269
I guess the only thing that worries me is realizing that nothing does matter. Not in a negative way, but just in general. Nothing I do or do matters and nothing around me has meaning other than superficial meaning I placate onto it. I just want to understand why I exist and if there's any meaning in a meaningless world. Only in the past couple months have I had any realization and it's helped me understand a small portion of my being, but at the same time opened up such a vast portal to realizing my existent is nothing. Not trying to be edgy it's just how I feel lately and I need answers and I'm willing to take a leap to find them.

>>9028142
>then look at the thought objectively
A problem of mine is when I do this I get to thinking about the 'objectivity' of that 'objectivity', whether the way I measure myself is false and influenced by background factors. I just end up descending completely into subjectivity and see everything as a reality tunnel. How can I ever improve and know myself when there is no concrete way of going about it?

>>9028279
I understand this feel. I had the same realization back then as well and struck dead after reading Notes from the Underground.

You are in the tipping point horizon. You have acknowledged the Nihilism and trying to answer "What's next?" question.

Anon, I think I can relate your arduous search for absolute truth. I also made mistake that by finally found an absolute truth then everything will be crystal clear. My conclusion from detrimental self-analytics is a calm acceptance that there is a limit even for a man to know within their comprehension. I was afraid because without absolute certainty, then, how can I justify my existence on a solid ground?

Anon, i understand it might be hard. I am also cant help much. But trust me, everything will be fine. It will pass.

>>9028251
Yes, all paths lead to God.

But your path in the start may not look anything like it. All paths are different. But let me tell you, when you know you are in your set path and know that it is unique, it is a truly freeing and blissful feeling to know that from now on you rely only on yourself. Nothing anyone has ever written applies to you anymore, because no one is you.

>>9028312
I actually have recently purchased Notes from Underground so I might feel dead like you when I read it.
It's such a gutted feeling, knowing I will never know why I am here and why everything around me is there.
I almost wish I could lead a life without these realizations, but I also long to understand them.
Thanks for trying to help me understand even partially what I'm feeling. I guess I'll continue my journey to understanding.. something if anything beyond what I feel now.
Any pieces of literature that can help me get an understanding for what I'm feeling other than the obvious?

>>9028326
I have never thought of my path leading to god, I feel no divine intervention of any kind.
But I have just started I guess, so I have a long while to finally figure that out.
But how do any of us know that's the true path? To god?

>>9028351
I had a wrong approach on reading Notes from the Underground. It was actually a mockery to show how ridiculous of relying reason to ourself that much. I saw myself as the narrator and over-symphatize with him, which makes me also become like him. If I were you I would read him instead. There's no better way to face your fear right-on.

To get more clarity on understanding the feels, I would suggest the Schopenhauer's "On Suffering" and "On Vanity of Existence". Then after knowing that probably The Stranger and then The Myth of Sissyphus. I'm not meme-ing btw. It helped me to accept the absurd condition of my existence.

After that, I began to read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius every working day on the train before I go to work. I read 10-20 passages and it will become my thought of the day. On weekend I will read each day 1 essay from Letters from a Stoic.

I hope it helps, anon. I also went to therapist to talk about my anxiety. It really helps, especially when this kind of topic is hard to talk about to those who never felt it.

This is link to Schopenhauer: https://ebooks.adelaide.edu.au/s/schopenhauer/arthur/pessimism/contents.html

>>9025826
the overman is not a choice, it's a unique lifeform

might as well will yourself into a fucking cow

>>9028416
I also have anxiety that consumes me at points. Thank you so much, I hope I can find reason in a world of chaos so to speak.

>>9028358
God reveals Himself in ways so often mysterious and unique that any of His "revelations" to you can be also seen as not coming from Him.

How to know you're on the right path? When you start realizing that separation is an illusion and that all is One.

Also, you can very much ask for a guardian spirit/angel/animal/entity to guide you. Just ask.

Be sincere in your seeking, be sincere in your quest for truth and nothing will be able to stop you, as you are now in a divine path.

>>9028438
You're welcome, anon. With or without reason, you will live nonetheless. The meaning will flourish depends on what action you take. it gets easier, anon.

>>9028439
Are you actually really try to help him? do you even try to understand him? It seems to me you are trying to reassure of your believe at the expense of someone's misery. Fuck off man, you are just a Paulo Coelho fans from New-Age ministry. disgusting.

>>9028293
Answer my question pls.

How do I check my stats?

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>tfw self-aware
>tfw self-awareness is a mechanism to deal with powerlessness

if god exists he would be completely mindless

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>>9028475
>tfw everyone is god

>>9028459
You are helping him on a mental path, I am helping (or trying to) him on a spiritual path.

Both are correct.

>>9028463
Sorry, yes
>>9028293
Well you seem to be pretty advanced already. You sound like you are realizing that experience (which includes your own mind) is all subjective and based on perception.

To continue knowing yourself, first remove the thoughts of others from your own mind. Rid yourself of others' influences, close your mind and at the same time learn to rely on your own mind. Learn that everyone else's experiences are 100% subjective and their thoughts do not apply to you because you have not lived their life as much as they have not lived yours.

>how can I [...] no concrete way of going about it?
Trust your heart. Trust your gut. Trust what you *think* is the right way. Trust your subjective experience, because that's all you have, and because exactly that is your soul.

>>9027246
this
>>9028141
this

>>9025807
Same, except I undertook a campaign of self-improvement that makes high self-awareness a blessing instead of a curse, because my self is fucking excellent now.

>>9028431
>Nietzsche didn't mean the overman as an aspirational figure

Wow what a fucking degenerate.

>>9028509
it's an aspiration for a culture, not a single individual

>>9025807
self awareness is good in the long run

>>9028491
Aren't you kind of asking me to become a blank slate though? Isn't understanding built on a collection of others understanding? Beyond basic logic at least?

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>tfw so self-aware I don't even exist anymore

all I am is the acidic feeling in my stomach and you'll all look at this - rupi kapur

>>9028556
more like rupi kaput

>>9028538
I'm not asking you to remove the knowledge/understanding you have gained from others, I'm asking you to remove the wants and needs of others from yourself.

When you remove other's wants from yourself, all that's left is you (soul) plus your mind (ego)
When you remove your own wants/desires, you are left with you (soul). You exist.

It is indeed a form of emptiness. Not emptiness of knowledge or understanding, but emptiness of your ego and of others' ego. Emptiness of desire.

Basically every major religion has this. In Christianity it is called Kenosis. In Buddhism, Sunyata. Haven't delved too far into others but it is most likely a concept too.

BUT THEY BURN MOTHERFUCKER THEY DESERVE TO DIE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cc3No8790Q0

>>9028578
Oh, okay. I've considered this spiritual stuff before. I usually see it as other thought tunnels, but sometimes I can acknowledge an objective unity in it, or being the most preferential thing to strive towards regardless.

>>9028605
It definitely is simply other thought tunnels. You can reach truth by an infinite number of paths, some religious, some not. But I definitely find it is easier at least to base your own understandings and compare them to other concepts.

>>9025807
CERVANTES

>>9027626
ayy lmao