My professor recently had a baby and he is currently reading

what a pretentious cunt

I hope the baby gets SIDS

He probably just likes an excuse to read it out loud. Or he's fucking with you.

>>8992677
Smart dad, I would do the same. Might even name my kid Ulysses.

>ready baby Finnegans Wake
>first word is: bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonnerronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthurnuk

Got a newborn myself. Been considering reading Blood Meridian to her.

>>8992677
That's really nice. If anyone has listened to Joyce's reading of Finnegans Wake you'll know how melodiously and rhythmically you could read Ulysses.

>>8992677
nice one friendo

what the fuck is the point of that shit that's just patrician posturing

>>8992677
>Not Finnegans Wake
>...shes practically already a stripper

My mom grew up reading to me about Greek and Roman history and mythology, way more patrician than Ulysses.

>>8992677
Reading to a baby is great.

They don't understand words yet but they hear the tones, syllables, and flow of the language.

Why read a baby book to a baby when they don't understand it?

>>8992761
>Why read a baby book to a baby

Why would you want to teach your child how to think like a baby. "I just created a human, im gonna put retardation in their head"

>>8992677
nice file size you dolt

>>8992775
Why give your child a whole story that it cannot understand before you give her the means to understand it?

>>8992677
You should ask him how it is being a single dad.

Why are people mad at this?
Ulysses practically reads like a children's book. It's not like the baby understands shit, so let it enjoy the melodies.

>>8992715
Kek

It's not worth it if your parents are the type who were never satisfied with you.

>Hey mom I started reading Chesterton.
>Wow, it's almost like you're developing taste!

>Hey mom I read Mrs. Dalloway.
>Yeah but did you actually understand any of it?

>Hey mom have you heard of Christina Rossetti
>I USED TO VISIT HER GRAVE, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

>>8992927
Good post

>>8992819
oh youve got some a priori knowledge of what it means to be able to understand concepts?????

i bet you subvocalize too

>basing your children's first understanding of english flow, accent, rhythm, and syntax in dublin
ew

I doubt my parents even read anything to me, growing up I thought such behavior was a movies/american creation.

My grandma used to make stories or retell know tales (boy cried wolf and such), though. I wish I could remember the originals, there were one about a princess and snakes my sister and I really liked.

>>8992713
i wish we lived in a world where no one would make fun of you for this

>>8993595
reddit

>>8993122
Do people on this board post when they're depressingly drunk? I subvocalize when I don't find something interesting.

Your professor is reading it to his wife's son?

>>8993595
it's pretty gay man

it means your as autistic as the people who name their kids "Khaleesi" or "Harry" after Harry Potter

only difference is you have better taste

still gay

still autistic

>baby speaks in stream of consciousness and develops a fart fetish

[elbow-deep in Bloom's vulva]

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So if you guys were to read a proper novel to a baby what would you choose? Something that flows nicely or is just pleasing to the ear? I'd probably go with Moby Dick cause it's my favorite and the prose is nice.

>>8994221
I'd probably read some dumb baby book to the baby but once it reached the age of about 5 I would probably start reading it HG Wells stories and Candide by Voltaire.

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>>8993595
>tfw you can't name your son moby dick

>>8992729
Is her name The Kid?

>>8992715
Kekked.

Alternatively, get your baby daughter to read it to you.

>Not reading your child The Meme Trilogy all in one sitting.

Plebs.

So what books would you actually read to your children/have read to your children?

>>8992751
kekk

>>8992927
>tfw Im like this towards my little brother
fuck... I was really just trying to push him

I wonder if its too late

>>8996018
If your brother looks up to you, keep encouraging him. Don't put him off reading entirely. Take note of what he takes interest in and suggest more of whatever that is.

>>8995911
Same for this, just read your kids the basics and see where they go from there. Make regular trips to the library with them. If your children or little siblings see someone they look up to reading, they will likely follow your example.

>>8992677
>Ulysses
>not reading Zettels Traum instead
stay pleb.

>>8994293

The child. She is pale and thin, she wears a thin and ragged linen shirt. She stokes the scullery fire.

>not reading the Silmarillion and other Tolkien-esque books to your kid

My mother used to read old adventure novels to us and anything she found interesting. She never wasted our time with picture books and for that I'm grateful.

>>8992677
>not reading infinite jest instead
shiggy diggy doo
what a pleb

>>8994233
You can call him mopy dick, or simply, moby, if he takes after his father

My child has finally been delivered. My wife holds the newborn in her arms and looks up at me with tired but proud eyes. "Well, what should we name him?" Before I can answer, a muffled voice coming from the bundle replies "Call me Ishmael."

>>8992677

I'm going to read Lolita to my future daughter.

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>>8992677
>Mi cara cuando I read my hijito of two months Roberto Bolaño's part of the Memeology, and master piece, Dos Mil Seiscientos Sesenta Y Seis*. Jaja a laverga weon.*


*(2666((Twenty Six Sixty Six))(((Two Thousand Six Hundred And Sixty Six)))

*Haha to the dick, big egg.

>>8997689
"well kiddo, youre going to have to think of something else to write about, because it looks as if youve already pierced the whale"

>>8997903
im going to court your future daughter, make whoopie with her, and then leave her by the docks, on a relatively frigid night with a light drizzle on her face

>>8997975
>*(2666((Twenty Six Sixty Six))(((Two Thousand Six Hundred And Sixty Six)))
>*Haha to the dick, big egg.

What did they mean by this?

Did boleno mean, the 2000s would be the beginning of the reign of satan?

>>8993122
>>8993855
>subvocalization
Why doesn't /lit/ like this? It's proven that subvocalization is connected to deeper comprehension of what is read.

Speed reading is for dilettantes.

>>8992681
fucked up

>>8992681
How do you know it's pretentious? Are you an expert on the effects of reading literature of varied qualities to newborns?

Also, your answer is very 'I'm an edgy twelve year old.'

>>8992677
Why the fuck isn't he reading Finnegans Wake to her before bedtime instead?

Primordial language, Protean Sounds, Dream Whispers

Would be way more appropriate imo

>>8998039
>Speed reading is for dilettantes.
Worse, it's for English majors.

>>8993595
I'm in the opposite boat. I got a lame name instead of Peregrine, which my dad wanted but reconsidered due to the possibility of bullying.

>>8992681
the baby will fall asleep even if you read ulysses backwards. it only has to be in a calm soothing voice. so that parent has good idea, if you are going to read to the baby anyway - why not read something you like?

>>8992677
Aside from the fact that this is poorly crafted bait, I'm livid at the implication that one's upbringing somehow effects their will to aesthetic value later in life. I mean, c'mon, I'm sure it's obvious that the baby didn't comprehend a single fucking word, and tbt I am skeptical that the father could understand a word if he thought reading it to a child was a good idea. Adolescence is not for the reading classical literature you won't understand or appreciate in a meaningful way, let alone passively digest and effectively equivocate with talk radio.

>>8992677
Does he want his kid to develop autism? Because that's how you develop autism.

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>>8992715

>>8992713
>>8993595
I knew a couple of Ulysses back in the day. It ain't that rare.