ITT Breakup poetry

>>8931460
Lmao you're pathetic OP

>>8931479
and how are you not?

>>8931460
This is horrible. Why would you write that?????

>>8931507
if I need help, then help me

if you know how

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Hey OP. You are focusing way to much on your rhymes reoccurring every sentence. This is detracting from your meaning. Try working with themes instead or like im about to show you metaphors. This is something I have written I hope you can find some inspiration in this.

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>>8931587
• note that these aren't perfecting poems. But notice the rhyming here. Almost flows in and out indifferently. Try breaking up the structure to write something meaningful.

>>8931596
>>8931587

thanks bro I get what you're saying, Im trying TOO hard I guess or maybe less

>>8931460
she left me
bereft me
contact feed
is empty
i left her
a wallet
with money
and polyps

I have never had a girlfriend

>>8931460
One time when I was like 17 some freshman girl I didn't know was buying fireworks from me and she told me I was hot. I took her to the park the next day and fingered her under the slides. She pissed on herself and I came in my pants from her grinding on my dick. She left to go to her friends house and I just sat in the park spinning around on a tire swing popping whippets.
Just remembered this because I recently found the whippet cracker I used as a kid and I passed it down to my young cousin

>>8932000

Are you me?

>>8931460

Here. Please read this.

http://www.openculture.com/2014/01/read-ezra-pounds-list-of-23-donts-for-writing-poetry-1913.html

>>8932000

Please write a poem about this.

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Something I wrote a while ago. Might go back and touch it up a bit. The second stanza gets a little heavy-handed I guess.