Just received this. What should I expect?

>>8926014
holy shit epic thread xdDD

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222KB, 1062x1600px

>>8926014
>"Why are breakfast foods breakfast foods?" I asked them. "Like, why don't we have curry for breakfast food?"
>"Hazel, eat."
>"But why?" I asked. "I mean, seriously: How did scrambled eggs get stuck in with breakfast exclusivity? You can put bacon on a sandwich without anyone freaking out. But the moment your sandwich has eggs, boom, it's a breakfast sandwich."
>Dad answered with his mouth full. "When you come back, we'll have breakfast for dinner. Deal?"
>"I don't want to have 'breakfast for dinner,'" I answered, crossing knife and fork over my mostly full plate. "I want to have scrambled eggs for dinner without this ridiculous construction that a scrambled eggs-inclusive meal is breakfast even when it occurs at dinnertime."
>"You've gotta pick your battles in this world, Hazel," my mom said. "But if this is the issue you want to champion, we stand behind you."
>"Quite a bit behind you," my dad added, and Mom laughed.
>Anyway, I knew it was stupid, but I felt kind of bad for scrambled eggs.

>>8928114
What? Is this actual writing from the book?

>>8928125
Yes it is.

>>8928125
yes

DFW influence

>>8928138
Forced meme

>>8926014
straight into the bin anon

Cantor's diagonal argument

>>8928114
this can't be real

>>8928114
this is why liberals cant form cohesive arguments

>>8928114

Need the YeCarthy copypasta of this please.

>>8930380
Don't have that one, but I have a Joyce one.

See that fellow in Barnaby's eating a breakfast platter at. What time? Yes three bong just now so perhaps a quarter past. Funny we don't do that more often. Full Irish breakfast bad for kidneys they say; too much protein. But good for soul. O, O, O, the boys of Kilkenny, O. Suppose he smells like a full Irish all day. But after all why not? He crossed O'Connell, skipping at cracked intervals. Skip. Break your mother's. Don't do that now people are watching, bloody fool. Last one's a rotten egg. But on the egg subject, why not eat them at lunch? Dinner, even? Cheap and nutritious, hens packed together tight as matches pumping them out day in day out. Give them to poor, start an initiative. Which came first, the British or poverty? Haha

In an alley a ragged boy was making chalk designs, boy and chalk standing out against the dark in a uniform pallor. Egg plan could help him, for example. Give him a coin? No, do him no good. Just be respectful. Now there's a cracked egg. Doomed before he was born. Predestination, into the streets or into the frying pan. Out of the frying pan, into. But what am I saying sympathizing with eggs?

He sighed heavily.

>>8928125
>>8930329
it's a childrens book guys chill

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59KB, 640x480px

>>8930394
>Just as the Bradys were getting locked in jail, Lara randomly asked me, “Have you ever gotten a blowjob?”
>“Um, that’s out of the blue,” I said.
>“The blue?”
>“Like, you know, out of left field.”
>“Left field?”
>“Like, in baseball. Like, out of nowhere. I mean, what made you think of that?”
>“I’ve just never geeven one,” she answered, her little voice dripping with seductiveness. It was so brazen. I thought I would explode. I never thought. I mean, from Alaska, hearing that stuff was one thing. But to hear her sweet little Romanian voice go so sexy all of the sudden...
>“No,” I said. “I never have.”
>“Think it would be fun?”
>DO I!?!?!?!?!?!?! “Um. yeah. I mean, you don’t have to.”
>“I think I want to,” she said, and we kissed a little, and then. And then with me sitting watching The Brady Bunch, watching Marcia Marcia Marcia up to her Brady antics, Lara unbuttoned my pants and pulled my boxers down a little and pulled out my penis.
>“Wow,” she said.
>“What?”
>She looked up at me, but didn’t move, her face nanometers away from my penis. “It’s weird.”
>“What do you mean weird?”
>“Just beeg, I guess.”
>I could live with that kind of weird. And then she wrapped her hand around it and put it into her mouth.
>And waited.
>We were both very still. She did not move a muscle in her body, and I did not move a muscle in mine. I knew that at this point something else was supposed to happen, but I wasn’t quite sure what.
>She stayed still. I could feel her nervous breath. For minutes, for as long as it took the Bradys to steal the key and unlock themselves from the ghost-town jail, she lay there, stock-still with my penis in her mouth, and I sat there, waiting.
>And then she took it out of her mouth and looked up at me quizzically.
>“Should I do sometheeng?”
>“Um. I don’t know,” I said. Everything I’d learned from watching porn with Alaska suddenly exited my brain. I thought maybe she should move her head up and down, but wouldn’t that choke her? So I just stayed quiet.
>“Should I, like, bite?”
>“Don’t bite! I mean, I don’t think. I think—I mean, that felt good. That was nice. I don’t know if there’s something else.”
>“I mean, you deedn’t—”
>“Um. Maybe we should ask Alaska.”
>So we went to her room and asked Alaska. She laughed and laughed. Sitting on her bed, she laughed until she cried. She walked into the bathroom, returned with a tube of toothpaste, and showed us. In detail. Never have I so wanted to be Crest Complete.
>Lara and I went back to her room, where she did exactly what Alaska told her to do, and I did exactly what Alaska said I would do, which was die a hundred little ecstatic deaths, my fists clenched, my body shaking. It was my first orgasm with a girl, and afterward, I was embarrassed and nervous, and so, clearly, was Lara, who finally broke the silence by asking, “So, want to do some homework?”

>>8930389
That wasn't bad.

>>8930389
Wow