/lit/ books

Frieza teleports to 7/11. "Oh, hello. How are you?" The old Hindu man greets him as per usual. Frieza telekinetically summons a Mountain Dew from the glass doors at the back of the store. "Not much." Ugh, the insufferable small talk. <-- Frieza's inner monologue. "How is school?" asks the fat ass Hindu man. Bet he loves to blow smoke rings out of that Hindu ass. Suddenly, in walks Hisoka. Frieza's heart stops. "Oh, hello. How are you?" Hisoka ghosts the Hindu man with an elephant's trunk and floppy ears with his head wagging side-to-side and nonchalantly slides over to the candy aisle where a young boy was apparently waiting for him. "Fuck. What is he doing here?" Frieza thinks to himself as he peaks out from the behind the bathroom door. "Excuse me, little boy." It was a recently humiliated Vegeta sitting on the floor of the candy aisle staring at his white-gloved hands in utter disbelief with a popped bag of Cheeto's in his hands and Cheeto dust all over his uniform. "I am not a little boy!" He stands up furiously and grabs Hisoka by the collar. "Um, are you sure he wasn't talking to me or emporer Pilaf?" asks Gohan. "Ooh, are those real diamonds?" Pilaf starts to drool. "They're not fusion earings if that's what you're wondering." Cloud and Bulma look over from the red ferrari they're watching while Hisoka pays for the gas. "He always does this." she explains to Cloud. "What, the munchies?" Cloud asks from the back seat. "No, the child molesting." Cloud spits out his Dr. Pepper. "Calm down, it's ok now. Pedophilia is a sexual orientation like being gay or furry. They have their own church and everything; and it's all sanctioned by the world government. The Trump Administration has advanced civil rights into the 21st century. Get with the program, Cloud." Cloud tisks and looks the other way into the distance where the sun was setting in hushed amber tones behind a downtown skyline that was beginning to light up in the heart of West City. A blast from the gas station interrupts their conversation. Vegeta had blasted a hole into the wall behind the cash register. The old Hindu man had refused his purchase alien porn and rainbow fruit-flavored condoms without a proper I.D. As the dust begins to settle, a trio of Pokemon poke their heads out from the rubble and confusion: Charmander, Squirtle, and Bulbasaur are surprised to find themselves released from their cages. "What else are you hiding back there, old man?" Hisoka senses premium bait potential and immediately deploys a wad of bungie gum as a net over the stunned Pokemon specimen. "I've got you now!" Hisoka runs with the sack of Pokemon over his shoulders like some kind of Team Rocket version of Santa Clause. (1/2)

When he gets back to the car, Bulma raises her sunglasses at him, asking "What was that all about? What's with the mystery bag, maestro?" Hisoka pops the bag in the trunk. "Just drive bitch." Frieza lets out a sigh of relief as Hisoka exits the premises in a in an ephemeral red streak beside a more enraged than usual Bulma. "Vegeta, what the hell are you doing?" Vegeta grunts, "I'm trying to spice up our sex lives you ungrateful twat!" Gohan looks innocently at emporer Pilaf, "What are they talking about?" Pilaf peals off a candy wrapper and tosses a few chocolates into the air, catching them with his mouth. "Hmm? What? I don't know. Who cares? I'm going to build a castle out of this an entire aisle of candy. An island made of candy. How's that for a secret lair?" Frieza brushes past them as he storms up to meet Vegeta at the cash register. "You're setting a bad example for the kids!" Gohan walks up to Vegeta and tugs at his uniform. "Are we still going to Target to buy my games?" Vegeta pockets the condoms. "We're going to Game Stop, not Target, you little turd. Nobody shops at Target for video games. What do you think this is, the 90's?" (2/2)

>>8885281
>>8885299
>>8885307
I can tell you're not from around here. Do it yourself.

File: 1482377403348.jpg (19KB, 480x480px) Image search: [Google]

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>>8885281
Good effort though.

>>8885823
Thanks, I wrote another chapter tonight and I gave it a working title: Radioactive Wasteland. if nobody's interested in helping me write it then would anybody be interested in a finished product by yours truly? does anybody even like this kind of thing...