ITT: we write what we're doing right now

Looking through the threads of an often frequented internet board there appears before me a post which, owing to my current predisposition engendered in me by my life in general and moreover this particular creative instance, I choose to engage in and therewith engage thoroughly, going so far as to complicate my grammar for reasons that amuse me and might, should I be lucky, annoy someone else. My mind is of being called the absolute worst, which usually relates to my genitalia - or more precisely, that genitalia of which I am imagined to be in possession by someone probably quite remote from myself.

But I digress. I proceed into the thread and am confronted by a digressive text by someone presumably far younger than myself whose primary concerns is a piece of clothing I would never conceive of buying, let alone wearing should some unfortunate series of events force my acquisition thereof. My mind brings me to question the nature of my visit, offer some alternatives to my mind as to what, or if, there will be a response to my own or to the older post, all in line with that intellection which is characteristic of this myself and proceeding with what I hope is a suitably frictive manner of expression, so as to engender in myself and those reading this a new moment in thought.

>>8865402
>i'm not exactly spoiled for choice
>on the fucking internet

nigger what

>>8865471
You're right; it was annoying to read.

>>8865708
Strike

The man sat on the toilet. He didn't need to relieve himself, but pulled his pants down all the same. Out of habit. He browsed the internet on his phone to amuse himself. In a few more minutes he would return downstairs to his wife and newborn daughter but for the moment he appreciated the quiet time alone.