Write what's on your mind

my wife's son

All I need in life is a King sized mattress to lay on and nice warm covers and I'd be content

There isnt anything "comfy" about what is in my mind
How can I cure that?

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Moby Dick is just homoeroctic garbage. It's on par with 50 Shades of Grey.

>>8836002
I did, but shit threads by your type keep bumping the decent ones off.

Too bad I missed the mod applications

>>8836005
how is little Tyrone doing ?

My hands were really cold so when I got home I put them down my pants to hold my boner. It felt really good, both on my hands and my dick. I stained my boxers with precum but what else is new? I just sat in front of my computer without turning it on, squeezing my dick for about 10 minutes.

I want to fuck a big fat girl until she's wheezing for breath because she's so out of shape.

I'm actually going to fail my wireless communications tomorrow. And I was only three exams away from retirement...

>>8836086
Which kind of fat? Slightly overweight or morbidly obese?

>>8836049
Hitler, Stalin, and Castro were Time's Man of the Year; it isn't an endorsement, it's meant as a recognition of impact

>>8836103
I'd take both of them, honestly, but the bigger the better.

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>>8836002
I think I want my parents to die. I think then I could be free. I want to blame them.

Were they ever free? Do they blame anyone?

No-one would choose any of this.

>>8836064
These are the best threads on /lit/, faggot. Deal with it.

>>8836105
Hitler and Stalin were both named MotY before the world understood them for what they were. Castro made the cut after the leftist media whitewashed his deeds. It's an endorsement.

>>8836125
Learn to read, dickwad

Every time I go on Linkedin to compare resumes I end up depressed for days because there are so many people who have far more achievements than me, went to a better school, have higher grades, already working in my desired career after graduating, and 9/10 in physical appearance.

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>>8836134
In 1959 the press was a bit bolder, but every cover since then about Castro was complete liberal/right trash

>>8836082
Stealing this for a book

>>8836175
at no point did or would a mainstream American magazine endorse a primary enemy of the state

good picture, though

Day two of being unable to sleep and laying in bed at the wee hours of the morn

Can it get any more comfy?

>>8836254
Tell that to this guy >>8836134
The media was a little better back then, but the red scare was still hampering any real leftist media voices.

>>8836263
its good.


i study, read, and browse while doing so.

Got started with the dying earth series and can't put it down. I finish exams Wednesday and then have all winter break to read

:)

This board is full of casuals.

I just want to lick pussy, is that too much to ask?

Scratching my ass
In hot summer heat
There's nothing to do
But to stroke my meat

summer time in australia is impossibly lonely. thirty five degree days where you feel like you're drowning in the humidity. people bustle about in the stupid heat going to the beach or work or drinking with friends. when struggling through the thick molasses of the atmosphere one feels apart from all that even when involved. it's enough to make you want to die.

>>8837841
I know that feel very well.
t. Brazilian

>>8837857
thanks, makes the 3ams more bearable

I'm at work right now doing a 4-5 hour shift of pulling books from the library shelves with no supervision and going at whatever pace I want

I am listening to 7 straight lectures of Yale's Literary Theory course and zoning out

This is pretty comfy

>>8837132

Yes. Work for it you entitled fuck.

I wish I was motivated enough to finish my erotic Cinderella story

>>8837942
Ok.

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Unemployed college grad and still can't find a job. I did all the internships and extracurriculars, but still no offers. Seriously, why the hell did I fall for the college meme? Fuck me. I can't go on being a NEET for much longer.

>>8837070
agreed

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is there a decent thought provoking discord anyone can invite me to?

i'll prove myself with a theory.
does anyone else think parasites and small organisms are much more intelligent than humans?? don't they just kill off humans to promote their own kind because we're holding the earth back?
and disasters are the best thing for our planet in general.

The world is filled with pretty young girls yet I haven't fucked any of them

>>8838434
Major, bro?

I can't compete with the hyper-masculine guys that are so prominent in my country.

>>8838629
Women's Studies

Why does it always end like this?
I just want other people to like me...

>>8836005
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Kw0f-Dgno2I

Wish there was someone to tell me what to do.
I spoke to everybody
but it seems I am dabbling too deep in my melancholy
Even if they try, nobody has arms long enough to reach for me and pull me out

When I was younger it was easier
People were wiser than me
More experienced and eager to guide me

I am a quarter of a century old
And there seems to be no direction in my life
All is just a tangled mess of uncertainty

First I though I'm scared of dying
Now I know I'm scared of living
I looked up to my father but he is too tired to help me
I wish there was someone to tell me what to do

I'd give all my remaining time for a day of my childhood

>>8838423
Give us an excerpt, please.

>>8836002
I'm wondering whether my thesis will make it and provide me the title I've been working for for the past three years.

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How comforting, the sound of rain,
That falls upon the windowpane;
While sat beside an open flame,
I smile, for though my clothes are soaked,
From trudging through the forest oak,
I'll soon be warm and dry again

c:

>>8838665
Damn bro. That's tough.

A Portrait of the Artist as a Young man is a god-tier comfy book and one of the most underrated books ever

>>8838927
gl :)

I want to read In Search of Lost Time for the prose but I'm concerned the English translation takes too much away from the prose for it to be as noteworthy. I want to read the prose of one of the best authors who ever lived and I hope Moncrieff does it a justice so I can accurately study Proust's prose.

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>>8836002
I'm resolving to limit my daily intake of this board because there's so little informed discussion and I should do better things with my time than watch people argue for the sake of argument in every thread.

Not to mention all the shitty off-topic bait threads and the /pol/tards shrieking about liberals and "muh white genocide" every chance they get

>>8836134
>1938
>before the world understood them for what they were
What shit you smoking m8 people were pissed about Hitler in 35, Sinclair Lewis wrote a book on it even. Didn't need the 4 gorillion to have understood the grave implications of his rise to power.

>>8840164
It's not poetry, you'll be fine.

Calculus 2 test tomorrow. Very stressed

>>8840331
thanks senpai that means a lot

>>8840339
ay I took my calc 2 final yesterday. Easier than any of the tests we had throughout the semester. I believe in you anon.

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>>8840339
Look, kiddo. Calculus is just all about memorization. It's purely computational and formula-based. Basically, what I'm saying is that it's impossible to learn a semester's worth of calculus the night before your final.

>>8837911
What are you doing, shifting the collection? Weeding old books? I spend most of my shift shelving, not pulling.

>>8840348
I'm worried about infinite series, currently reviewing improper integrals. Everything else should be okay.

>>8840350
I've been studying integration techniques since last week so I should be okay in that department. Infinite series is scary though.

>>8840263
Is it just me or has there been very few good threads in the past few months?
Influx of reddit? or pol?

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I'm thinking I need to reduce my internet usage for a while. I don't really absorb anything anymore, things just pass by my eyes passively. Honestly, I think I do more work just watching the TV. TV is bare minimum. Internet is not even bare-minimum. I end up spending most parts of an hour just flicking between nothing - like I'm opening and closing the fridge the door over and over again but never picking anything to actually eat. I'm only talking really about Facebook and Reddit (don't shoot me) that just allow you to scroll and scroll and scroll. 4Chan is not as bad, since there is a limit on how much time you can waste here - especially slow boards like /lit/ - and enough of the content is intellectually stimulating enough to be rewarding, but it's still not perfect.

What I do process is all so constantly negative. All my news is just endless identity politics. Some minority you'd never imagined being oppressed in some part of the world you'd never heard of. The other end of the spectrum is just as bad. There doesn't seem to be any in between. Everything else is just ironic memes, so brain-deadening. I'm not trying to appear 'above' all that, it's just overwhelming and beginning to weight me down. And I'm not blaming the platforms, I blame myself for being addicted to them. I could read more, I could read articles, scholarly works, but for the most part I don't, I consciously choose to instead scroll endlessly looking at nothing.

You know, when I was younger I used to make fun of adults who criticised social media. I used to think they were just out of touch and scared of change. But I think they were right. This stuff breeds depression and anxiety. I honestly think there is a real problem that too many people ignore.

>>8840521
Hey everyone, did you hear that!! This guy browses Reddit, lets get him!!

*raises pitchfork*

>>8840549
this is such a reddit reply

>>8840625
How do you know what Reddit is like, faggot?

>>8840491
Probably both, moreso /pol/ and /r9k/. It's easier to shit up a slower board like /lit/ than, say, /tg/ because it's easier to keep a bad thread alive for days and there are fewer people to call you on your shit.

>>8840521
Honestly, I would recommend using social media sparingly and getting a digital subscription to a major national newspaper, one that actually has a reputation. It helps keep you informed with a bare minimum of spin and actual in-depth articles, and you'll have something for when the craving for stimulation kicks in. I personally use the NYT, but if you think a tiny liberal slant will give you cancer, the WSJ is slanted very slightly further in the opposite direction. Social media sites will legit rot your mind if you aren't careful, though.

Every hour lost hastens Gondor's defeat.

Re reading Anna Karenina.

Such a lovely book. But I just read the part where vronsky, while racing, breaks frou frou's back and it's got me sad. I'm not sure what it means or its significance. "The memory lingered in his heart as most difficult and agonizing memory of his life" ... more so than Anna's suicide?

Thoughts? I am having a strong physical reaction after reading this... My chest feels so tense. Maybe I need to exercise more

I don't know what I want to do with my shitty youtube channel and my whopping 160 subscribers have definitely and totally waited a month for me to upload something from my last shitty video.

Booktube is shit. Let's plays are also terrible (and I have become super bored with video games). I don't want to offer my shitty opinion on movies.

I don't know what to do but I want to do something. Really echoes my life.

Fug it's cold

I need a job

I want to be an intellectually superior being but im mediocre at best.

I also feel like that superiority is too long term acquired in that id have to read too many books of many subjects whilst at the same time being able to fluidly remember them, which is likely not going to happen.

I also feel i need to be trascendentally superior but just by measuring the amount of time other people study and the fact that genetically theres people far more gifted than i am its almost an impossibility.

At this point i feel that only a petty mundane superiority is attainable, which is even debatable.

I cut my nails because they get in the way, the way I cling to my pillow looking for something, anything in order to bring warm to this fragile and cold blooded body. I cling to mi pillow as I lay waiting for the bitter dreams that claim my thoughts when I'm sleeping if I sleep at all.

I want a cute trap girlfriend
I rather have a feminine boyfriend
not gay
I want a body like Arnold
but the hunch in back makes me look like a henchmen
the back of my head is so big
big ego
and am embracing it too much
can't get hard to women anymore
pretty soon can't get hard to men
what is left
dicks not as big as I once thought it was
got smaller after I gained 60 pounds in 1 year
my hand doesn't care
why didn't anyone tell me how great shea butter lotion is

>>8836002
Worried that WWIII will commence tomorrow when the fed raises interest rates

My day today was filled with anxiety, I am scared that my old habits are starting to come back and life is starting to get confusing, like I do not know what to do anymore...

Simple hobbies, and new things have become boring to me, I don't know how to see the light in life. I am not depressed, nor do I have depression but I feel like something in life is missing. This winter filled with snow that brought back my childhood and makes me turn sad to see what I have lost.

What I wish I could be in a different place, different time, just something that is not so horrid as my life right now.

I have everything going for me, but yet I keep throwing away amazing opportunities just because I do not see the point in doing anything. I just wanna be in a nice place, around nice people, away from all the stress. I have always had bad anxiety about feeling trapped in my life. The thought alone of not being able to leave this shit town soon, and having to wait through 2 more years of the same routine of shit feelings has me down.

I feel trapped, and lost...

>>8841259
feel you man, almost word for word except no snow its hot af here

i think i need to stop looking for meaning in every little thing i do. even the simplest tasks irritate me. i get anxious that im not spending my time wisely, but really i am never satisfied no matter what it is i am doing because i am always thinking 'what if'. i always want to be somewhere else, doing something else. i wish i could just go for a walk and let that walk be mindless. instead i am always thinking 'what is the significance of this?' i think i need to find contentedness in boredom. i have to accept that not every day will be exciting. some days i will do nothing and that will be ok. some weeks will be boring and that is ok also. sometimes entire months, but hopefully not too often. i dont think ive articulated myself well.

to keep this /lit/ related, have you read the Culture of Narcissism by Christopher Lasch? it describes this condition pretty spot on, IMO. he describes what he sees to be the transition from economic man to 'psychological man' and that modern culture encourages depression and uncertainty. i identified a lot with it.

>>8841478
I will give it a read, glad I am not the only one that feels this way.

I try not to even though I feel like it, to give up.

I just gotta' keep doing what I'm doing, and hope for the best.

>>8836002
Trump is my president.
Nobody reads.
Nobody knows how to cite a source or define a term.
Gender pronouns and social media.
Pseudosciences

If only people had the decency to castrate themselves.

As you can tell, i'm a hit at parties.

>>8841530
Those are all great talking points at parties

>>8841208
Thanks to this anon, historical pessimism is striking again in my mind.

There are ideas that can't be expressed via language. One of the greatest joys of life is sharing ideas and there are some ideas we will never be able to share.

I had a comfy day the other day, which I which I wrote about in my day journal (perks or no good friends or family). I'm just posting the beginning of it. If anyone wants, I can't post the rest later:
>

This morning, I woke up the way I usually do--to an alarm set 15 minutes later than what it should have been. The alarm that sounds comes stock on my phone and plays an uplifting melody similar to 'Ode to Joy', but I still need my steaming cup of morning tea before I can glaciate to my car and surge to work. Slipping from bed and readying a mug with water from the kitchen faucet, I place it in the oven until I hear the timer sound. I pull the hot mug from my microwave and stir a tea bag around the brew as I make way towards the living room window, realizing it was left partially ajar last night to let out a musty, skunk odor which had burned it's way into my lungs. Slanted blinds hang two feet above the window sill. The screen outside the glass isn't set properly, and the window opening, for the most part, leads directly outside.

I stand before a picture of the world below, staring into the light of a lamp post illuminating the corner of a glittering street and the adjacent yards as I slowly and loudly suck tea over the faint whistling slipping through the window's lips. Nothing of interest catches my eye as I stand in place in front of the glass for a minute or two, enjoying the company of the three foot tall radiator which sits guard, day and night, just before the sill. A thick plume of steam licks at my cheeks before I take another sip of the drink, set it down, and close the window to shut out the morning air's depressing extremities. Turning away from the frigid foreshadowing, and making my way back into the kitchen, I steal a glace at the time strobing on the head of the stove. Green, boxed numbers flash at me 45 minutes prior to when my alarm had gone off on my phone. I take one last gulp from the tea, and place the mug near the sink as I drift to the car and accumulate myself towards work. The light of the dash glows dimly across my face as I notice the 'Change Oil' indicator again...

My girlfriend broke up with me because she said I was making her emotionally jaded. She hated how I was kept talking about how doesn't read enough or how she chooses to watch TV over decent movies. Also other stuff that she was probably well within her right to point out (ie that I've become a boring person).

I'm now living in the middle of some shitty town with nobody around. Working in a crappy Christmas temp job until my lease expires so I can, I dunno, move back in with my parents.

As a result, I'm trying to figure out a different way to live. I wanna drop being critical (and writing critically) in favour of being more emotionally open and writing fiction. I'm also seriously considering going back to Uni to do a Master's in Computer Science as I'm depressed about the way my life has panned out and how I have absolutely no money.

Also, I've had to stop paying attention to media because I'm so down about everything to do with political and cultural discussion.

As a result, I've found myself coming back to /lit/ and I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not.

idk if it's worth the effort to into aristotle ive got pretty deep into nietzsche and aristotle is the only philosopher i can come up with to combat his ideas but idk maybe i should shift more to literature and give up philosophy

i don't get career ambitions. i'm not saying i'm above working, i just don't get why i should need anything more in life than art, learning, and a few close relationships. my friends are trying to make it to the top of their fields and my parents want nothing more than for me to do the same, but all i want to do is laugh at shitposts, read good books, and listen to my favorite music.

>>8836002
ignoring all the sadness up top, i'm literally sitting at home happy that the holidays are almost here. last school term went well and i couldnt ask for anything more

Well, Im still not sure if I made the right career choise after all

I graduated earlier this year and im a pharmacist now. The wages are completely shit, which is my main problem. I dont fucking know if I should be looking into any other field, I am a terrible student after all in a way. I think Im not a dumbass in understanding shit, but if I dont have a steady routine in my life, I fuck up every time. Being in uni was a nightmare for me, I never went to lectures as I wasnt forced to, however in 2nd uppendary school (the one before uni, aged 16-19) I had the best time of my life. I was required to show up, but the study environment was somewhat close to uni.

How do I stop being a piece of shit unless I am under pressure? If theres no consequences for not doing something, I never do it. What the fuck.

How can people bear writing in their native languages? Whenever i try writing in Swedish i just cant put my thoughts into words, its so much easier in English. I acknowledge that im not very good at English, but it just makes my text seem more serious and mature. Anyone else experiencing this?

>>8842851
Yes, this is fairly common. You're probably just less good at judging the quality of English, harder for you to realize how bad and cringey your writing is.

>>8842803
Fuark, I was a biopharmaceutical science major and I dropped out my last year with the same problems you have. I was listening to Peterson lecture and he mentioned that no matter how hard you try to consciously focus and be interested in something, if you unconsciously don't like it/want to do, it'll never get done. I sort of feel my whole university career was me trying to force myself to be interested in something and at the very end my unconscious finally snapped.

Why do anons shit on Ayn Rand so much? She has some good philosophies and some bad ones like basically every human being.

“People think that a liar gains a victory over his victim. What I’ve learned is that a lie is an act of self-abdication, because one surrenders one’s reality to the person to whom one lies, making that person one’s master, condemning oneself from then on to faking the sort of reality that person’s view requires to be faked…The man who lies to the world, is the world’s slave from then on…There are no white lies, there is only the blackest of destruction, and a white lie is the blackest of all.” - Ayn Rand

Is objectively good advice.

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>>8842907
I should also say that I tried looking up why but this is all I found.

>>8841081
Primitive technology goes into the woods half-naked and builds mud huts for his million+ subscribers, so you could try that

>>8841081
link it dude

I am writ

>>8842907
She's virtually laughed at in all academic circles, obejectivism is pseudo-philosophy

Thinking about sex makes me feel disgusted about myself. I feel sick. Wich I shouldn't but it just doesn't feel right.

>>8842803
Pharmacist wages shit? What country anon?

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>>8838898

>>8840637
Touché

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I'm wondering what the literature equivalent to this album might be, anyone have a suggestion?

>>8842989
Chronicles of Narnia

I want to be a writer.
I don’t know what I’d write.
I don’t have life experience.
I don’t much like research.
I’m undisciplined and lazy.
I’m not even that great at reading.
I’m attracted to the idea
not the practice.
But I want to be a writer.
Because I can’t think of another career I could stand.

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>>8836134

>leftist media whitewashed his deeds

this makes no sense, do you even know the history of Cuba and what Castro actually did ? He played a huge role in the overthrew a CIA backed Batista dictatorship. Then as a leader he made sure everybody had the healthcare they need to survive and stay healthy. Improved literacy rates drastically by making sure education was not privatized and free for everybody; Cuba is up there with countries that have a near perfect 100% literacy rate. There's no poverty, nobody is homeless or unemployment. Sure they're piss poor due to living under a huge trade embargo, but they still manage to get by and make sure everybody lives comfortable- thanks to Castro "regime"

>>8842967
I feel naked (in an essential, or even metaphysical sense) just by thinking about it.

Im writing a short story in four chapters about a suicide, and the suicide only. Just those few minutes before and during the attempt. Ive experienced this quite a few times myself, so i have no problem finding inspiration. Has this been done before tho?

>>8842973
finland

pay lower than a taxi drivers, with uni degree and a responsible work

they just dont like giving us monies.

>>8843012
Do you feel naked when you are thinking about sex? Once you start thinking about sex don't you just do your thing?

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>>8842907
There was a Rugrats episode that said the same thing in less than half the word count.

>>8840521
Yeah, you need to get off Facebook immediately. I don't know about Reddit, but that's probably bad too. 4chan can be very rewarding as long as you are being active and are here for a purpose. That purpose can be anything at all---even just fucking around, shitposting, whatever. But sitting here and going through board after board hunting for something just to waste time is where it gets bad. As long as your mindful or enjoying something, you're fine. It's the glassy-eyed endless scroll shit that is harmful imo.

>>8843039
I've been working on-and-off on a short story about a woman walking around the streets of her town all afternoon and into the sunset. Though she never once directly mentions it, she's decided to kill herself once she reaches the river bridge leading out of town. The fact is revealed in the details of the world--how she interprets and interacts with what she sees, and how aspects of her past are changing in the present and the times these triggers cause her to reflect on her past.

>>8843059
You better hate Plato too then because he is a wordy ass motherfucker.

>>8843057
I feel extremely vulnerable just by imagining me and a girl together naked. More than anything else, I think the feeling comes from the expectation of 'performance' or something like it. All my life I was mocked for being a clumsy idiot who never did anything right, how could I do sex right.

I'm just waiting for someone on my third world country to killed me. I can't do it by myself because I'm afraid someone will saved me or the regret feeling will show up at last minute. So I'm just thinking how its gonna be since every nigger here assault light skinned people thinking they have money or a fucking phone. Maybe they will shoot me or knife me once they realized I have a shit.

>>8843077
>wordy ass motherfucker.
That's the better description of Plato I've ever seen. Thanks 4chan.

>>8842964
I'm not sure why my post was flagged as spam but here it is.

http://pastebin.com/exC8V4KT

>>8843093
best*
ffs

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>>8841208
ugh.... a gradual rise in interest rates wouldnt lead to WW3

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no homo, stimulating your prostate while masturbating makes for really, really intense orgasms

>>8842989
my diary, desu

>>8843077
As soon as someone writes a children's cartoon that summarizes Plato.

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>>8843088
Oh right. How old are you? First time are always marvellous awkward. I have sex once and it was disgusting. Since then I promised myself I would not do it again. I don't know, if you are with the girl you really care and she cares about she is not going to bother or even noticed how did you "performed". Both would be laughing or you will be laughing or even she will laughing but it's a meaning of being nervous which is normal. (I'm talking about First time, though) I'm not worried about how I would do it but thinking and sort of enjoy thinking about it makes me feel so impure that I don't even flirt with the opposite sex just for it.

>>8843152
24, ugly as fuck and poor so I'm not sure a girl could care for me to the point she doesn't mind me being clueless. Maybe we we should seek help.

>>8843152
>thinking about it makes me feel so impure
Also, have you been raised religious?

>>8843143
It deeply saddens me that most men will never know the greatest pleasure their bodies are capable because of social stigma.

>>8842931

That's his thing, though. I also don't really want to do that.

>>8842934

I'm BulletDeer the ironic retard. Haha.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=zmYrdMKC-d4

My literary video magnum opus.

>>8843176
and anon wept

When I give the exam to my students they groan. They always groan but I'm groaning with them this time. We did not create this exam. It was given to us by a district representative under confusing circumstances two weeks before we were meant to proctor it. Our unit leading to the exam dealt mostly with non-fiction and informational text; the test we received was mostly fiction and poetry.

I emailed my team, asking them to buck the system and fuck the exam. I was told to give the test. I gave it. My students failed.

I am now convinced of a link between teaching and alcoholism.

>>8843167
No girl will care if you are objectively handsome once they fall in love. The things come back to reality when it is crushing down. My ex partner used to feel the same way you described yourself . Do you interact outside with anyone? Do you assist to some places that make you obligated to do works with them? It will be a great start if you really want to find someone. And yes, my family used to take me with them to the church and I still doing it by myself just that now without faith.

>>8843176
I can cum from using a dildo in my ass alone, without even touching my dick. It feel really great, women have it better when it comes to pleasure if their orgasms are even better than this.

>>8843276
I'm also clueless about real world stuff, I don't have a job &c, I can hold conversations pretty easily as long as they don't ask about me, then I'm shameful of my life. Finances, hobbies, house management, this is all so confusing to me. I think I've been helicoptered my whole life and that took its toil.

>>8843317
I'm definitely not trying to blame anyone for my failures though, this is my responsibility to fix.

>>8843317
Anon, I will like to still talking with you. Do you have an email account so I can contact with you?

>>8836002

Holy fuck I am so tired.

Whenever I hit weed I just need to get comfy and just feel everything for a moment.

No phones, no internet, no music, no reading, just existing.

It's very hard to exist like this without falling asleep. Eventually you will nap and lose awareness for a couple of hours.

Suddenly the mind poses an action. There has to be something done. There is work yet to be completed. But you realize that its nearly impossible to keep utter awareness of yourself, let alone the entire observable universe.

Likewise the number of potential actions that could arise from an observant mind is also scary. You could strap a bomb to your chest and blow yourself up. You could go swimming at a lake. The quality of such actions will shape the future. Even the small ones. So don't leave yet, just exist for a bit longer.

The Buddhist framework calls this the 'transcendental period' where you at a time where you are deciding on action. From here you can correct or fix many things and also destroy many things through your actions and thoughts. What would you do during this period?

I don't know why this keeps happening to me.

Afraid to show my feelings, in fear of being written off as edgy,

Afraid of making a move, like the beta I am

Falling for 3 different people that all fall out of my league in 3 different directions

People say it'll pass

The feelings will go

They don't.

>>8843410
A throwaway?

>>8842762

Capitalism and people forming their lives around their work. I genuinely get annoyed when the first thing I hear from friends I haven't talked to for a while is "found a job yet?" Or when introduced to someone they will ask what my job is.

Thanks, capitalism.

>>8843478
Yes, sure.

>>8843503
Just made this one
[email protected]

>>8843039
Yes, read Patriotism by Mishima - it's pretty much exactly what you described.

I don't discourage you from writing your story though, because I think there is a lot of room for difference. But check out Patriotism, its a short story too and well worth the read.

find a cause? production is not manufacturing? identify with that self beyond the self, what you find in others; no obligations, her arm draped across your stomach, and your eyes widen in the darkness as you come to a thousand illegible conclusions. these proofs have no solution.

i just want to know i'll have another chance.

>>8836166
I do this too desu. If you want to feel better about yourself, read the craigslist personals.

>>8843289
v. jealous, I've only been able to do that once and it was indescribable.

>>8843580
I dream of finding a girl that is into pegging.

>>8843093
please go back to plebbit

>>8843666
Sorry, Satan.

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>>8843616
this, desu

I can't read because the TV is too fucking loud.

>>8838503
feels bad man not intelligent enough for reply

Life hasn't been this good in a long time. I study law, train and read books in my spare time. Recently I've taken control over my non-existent emotional side and begun to talk to people at my school, and my two friends are happy to have me back as a person again. Outside the snow is starting to fall and I'll just sit here in my small apartment and read books all day. Maybe I'll even talk to that girl I like tomorrow.

>>8843616
Pegging is a godawful plebeian fetish for retards.

>>8845235
If it makes me cum I don't care.

>>8843616
Unironically a fag

>>8836002
Skelfr Yggdrasils askr standandi

>>8845235
Pegging is pretty sophisticated imho.

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>>8836002
i had a tonka truck when i was a kid
i didn't realise they still made them
they used to advertise them as being really tough and well made
are they as hard wearing now?

Why don't I want to sleep? There is no reason, I am not enjoying myself.

I believe I am physically and mentally repulsive to others and I am deeply, deeply ashamed of myself. This feeling remains regardless of how hard I work or how much I improve myself. I am top of my class in electrical engineering at a good university, I dress well, I eat healthily, I go to the gym everyday, I read a lot and I'm very well spoken.

I cannot shake the feeling that no one will ever want me, not as a friend or a lover. I feel destined to die alone and I feel like there's nothing I can do about it. I have been clinically depressed for as long as I can remember. I don't think I have ever felt happy to get up in the morning.

>>8845287
Keep on showing the world what a depressed person can do, anon.

Professional pornography is so fake is hard to feel stimulated by it, amateur videos only make feel sad. I haven't had an orgasm in a month.

>>8836086
You should it's fun. The 320 lb girl I had was still the one of the best.

>>8838622
Fuck thai ladyboys instead

>>8841208
>You will never be this retarded
Feels good man

>>8845323
stop watching porn

>>8846398
I did, that's what I implied.

I decided I'm not going to kill myself, but I don't know why. If someone asked me why i'm still alive, I wouldn't know how to answer them.

>>8846421
How about finding a partner then?

>>8846463
>If someone asked me why i'm still alive, I wouldn't know how to answer them.

It's okay. You don't really need an uplifting reason to stay alive. If you feel depressed, go run any do any sport, read, write and go out. There's no worse prison than loneliness, especially in a casual environment like your home.

>>8839009
Nice

>>8846479
Unlikely, to say the least.

I can't handle following along with politics and the news about what's happening with my country. It's destroying me.

And I can't just "shut it down" and try to ignore everything.

There's no going back after Stirner.

>>8845323
Finger your asshole when you beat off, faggot.

>inb4 faggot

You're literally a faggot if you do otherwise

>>8846588
I use a cucumber with a condom on. I don't even have to 'beat it'.

>>8843486
Thats small talk, retard. What the fuck do you want strangers to start a conversation with?

>>8845287
I feel exactly as you do, word-for-word. I am tall, funny, and very confident/socially dominant (though not a chad). I feel worthless. It feels like no one would want to be around me if i wasnt in entertain mode. When i have shown some insecurity to people in the past, i have received no support. Peoples entire opinion of you changes. This makes me use entertain mode more and more, which makes me more insecure about myself. This then leads to more confrssions with people, looking for a connection. But the greater insecurity turns them away every time. Its so strange. The cycle needs to end somehow. Fixing this is the main concern of my life because it will mess up any friend/relationship i could possibly have and having a good one of those would mean the world to me.

i don't want to die or suicide, but sometimes i feel like i should just fade out in thin air and be completely forgotten by everyone who ever met me

>>8846663
Funny you should mention that.

I also put on a facade when in social situations. I sit in the middle of the room, I take up space, I crack jokes, I laugh loudly, I smile almost constantly.

I find women are greatly attracted to me when I do this. They stare, they make excuses to get me on my own, they try to get close to me.

However I'm not interested in casual sex, in fact intimacy terrifies me.

Once they slowly get to know the real me, their interest gradually fizzles out.

The real me is repulsive to women.

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It never made sense but now I don't feel it has to anymore.

>>8845235
fetishes are for plebs

I've watered myself down. I've grown too comfortable with a passive life. There's nothing worth doing. There's no burning passion in me, and there never will be.

>>8846972
>However I'm not interested in casual sex, in fact intimacy terrifies me.
Your wording here is interesting. I am also uninterested in casual sex, but mostly because it lacks intimacy. Superficial social approval just doesn't sustain me anymore. I am looking for something more, but often have doubts that the unmasked me is worthy of someone's affections. Maybe the persona really is better than the actual me and that I should keep up the performance at all times. And maybe there's nothing tragic about that. Maybe that's just life. I just really don't know and hope I figure something out before I meet someone who I think is worth something.

>>8846663
>>8846972
Read Good Old Neon

I didn't vote for Trump or Clinton. In fact, I voted for no one.

I stood at the voting booth and I asked myself if I could vote for either of them with God watching me. Could I, as someone who's a real, genuine Christian, vote for either of these candidates? Could I support any of them with God looking on?

I decided I couldn't. So I wrote in Pope Francis. I guess I'm a theocrat. So be it.

>>8848362
Keep with the times, friend. The election was over a month ago.

>>8836002
What's for dinner? honey

last session with campus therapist today; was recommended for further help. can't help feeling like a complete autist after leaving the session, basically because i don't fully understand the relationship and feel scared about crossing some limit in small talk.

>What are you doing for christmas?
im doing [this]
>any plans for the holidays?
yeah im doing [this]
>[question]
[answer]

feels so one sided and in hindsight i really should've asked her about herself and her plans to show that i care, which i genuinely do. feel like i fucked up cos it was our last session and can't really rectify it, and i really think highly of her. was legit considering sending an email to apologize i was feeling that bad about it. still feel pretty bad though.

also thinking about all the times i gave a retarded answer to her questions. i find it hard to think cos i can't shake the feeling of walking on a tightrope during sessions even though she did everything she could to not make me feel so reserved and scrutinized. fuck

ty for reading blog

>>8845235
>he doesn't like getting his prostate poked by a fucking babe

What are you, a faggot?

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>>8844735
Ear plugs, friend.

>>8848362
Not voting for Clinton is voting for Trump. Congrats on joining the winning side.

>>8848581
For future reference, these thoughts would be good to bring up in therapy

>>8836086
>>8836103
>>8836115
Had a fat ex, can confirm it's great. She was but not obese whereas I'm obese. The sweat and slapping sounds and the panting from both of us combined was so good
I miss that crazy bitch in a way

Just like two or three pages left to go in this paper, and the easiest, most self-contained ones at that, and the next thing that's due is like mid-January. I can finally sleep. I might just walk somewhere for a while, zone out and stare at birds, without it being goal-oriented on a tight schedule for once.

The paper is just a short thing on Peter Winch's Wittgensteinian philosophy of social sciences. More of a book review than anything, though I had to read like ten monographs. I'm glad I did it, since it forced me to really read Winch inside and out, which ended up being a great entryway into Wittgenstein.

My laptop just broke in half and the monitor part is currently held up by a box of sugar and a tupperware container full of salt.

Wrapped up warm, making a start on War & Peace for the group read with a cup of tea. Thank fuck I know French is all I'll say

I've been unemployed for more than 6 months now after finishing my masters degree (biotech) with a top grade. I've applied to hundreds of jobs and none of them want me, so I'm biting the bullet and going for academia. The only thing I'm good at is studying so I guess making a career of it would be ok.

I'm reading a biography of Napoleon and it's making me feel a lot better about myself while also giving me some direction. He just did things, didn't care what people thought of him (in his early army career I mean), just powered through and got shit done. It's helped me with my recent feeling of paralysis in a way. Literary inspiration is temporary but useful I find.

Also, I miss the lads. Haven't been out on the megalash in ages. I feel like a lot of this doom and gloom mentality could be dispelled if I got out of the house and on a good 2 or 3 day bender.

To say I am angry right now is an understatement. If my wrath could be used as an energy source it could power all the worlds electronics for the rest of eternity. I fucking hate this feeling and I want to so desperately lash on a certain group of people but I know if I do it will only cause me more torment.

>>8850557

Come on man, nothing wrong with killing those niggers

>>8850562
Probably found a nigger fucking his girlfriend.

i am stuck at making up absurdist mathematic exercise, any ideas? I thought about including some topology

Siedziałem w ławce z moim najlepszym przyjacielem z tych czasów, S, nie rozmawialiśmy bo sytuacja niezbyt na to pozwalała, za to wymienialiśmy między sobą rysunki na papierze, zgrywusowskie miny i gesty, w przyjacielskie gesty w stylu tych błyskawicznie rozpoznawanych pomiędzy sprzyjającymi dla siebie ludźmi, a niewidocznymi dla innych. Nie chciałem całkiem zamykać się na innych, więc skorzystalem z chwili kiedy nauczycielka odwróciła się do tablicy, by skomplementować tatuaż na ramieniu kolegi z ławki obok. Wtedy popularnością cieszyły sie sztuczne tatuaże znajdowane w paczkach czipsów, dziś już spotka się takich w żadnej, ale wtedy była to dla nas dość poważna sprawa – smok koloru niebieskiego, lub ogniście żółtego nie do zmycia, lub do starcia przez jakiś czas po uwiecznieniu go na skórze, za to samoistnie blaknący z każdym dniem, aż wreszcie nie pozostał po nim żaden ślad. Kolega (imię jego było Daniel) uśmiechnął się. Był łobuzem, ale nie z gatunku podłych i wściekłych na wszystko, przeciwnie – był radosny, koleżenski, nawet sympatyczny w ten swój butny sposób; po prostu jego zamiłowanie do rysowania hitlerów i krwi na lekcjach plastyki nie miało prawa zyskać uznania nauczycieli. Pani zauważyła uśmiech, usłyszała słowo, i od tego się zaczeło, zresztą co sie jej dziwić; po tylu latach zajmowania się małymi, wrzaskliwymi ludźmi, którymi prawde mówiąc bliżej było do zwierząt do ludzi, dość niewinne zachowania wprawiały ją w złość. Dziecko urocze jest tylko dla tego kto ukształtował je, i przez wiele lat osobistego wychowania, nauczył sie rozumieć jego dziwactwa; dla wszystkich innych jest nie dającą się pojąć katastrofą. Z dwojga złych i okropnych, rozkapryszonych, wybrała mnie, pewnie przez nienawiść jaką do mnie odczuwała, mój lekko sepleniący, nerowy ton głosu, i tą wieczną nadpobudliwość; wyobrażam sobie, że te wszystkie cechy wywoływały u niej odraze. Karą była oczywiście wizyta przy tablicy. Gdy tylko zobaczyłem działanie zakończone znakiem równości, zachęcającym do jego dokończenia, osłupiałem. 32+423 - +

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I take the supernatural completely seriously and never rule out a supernatural explanation in any given circumstance. Some of this is due to my own life experiences; the rest is due to what I feel is a preponderance of testimony and evidence. It seems to me that automatically ruling out the existence of the supernatural is the true intellectually dishonest position. It's as much an article of faith as any other religious belief, especially when there seems to be a lot of recorded data to the contrary.

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I have come to a dead end. You know in those "escape the X" games where one out of 99 combinations of choices leads to the happy ending? Kind of. Except the game crashed halfway through. I'm eighteen, I can't make it through fucking high school. I'm alienated from all those feelings of sad movies because I can barely even function for 12 hours. I want to kill myself so bad. I've promised not to though. And my dad would probably kill himself if he didnt have his failiure of a son. I dont know. All I can say is that it is cruel of me to fail like this, but im doing my best. Nothing I've tried helps. I am at a dead end. My body keeps telling me to stop, to go eat something sweet, or to think about some of my other issues, but I don't want to. I want to solve this. Who tf cares about culture shock or sexuality when I cannot even perform basic tasks without blanking out. Today I slept 14 hours, stayed up for five, slept another two, and now, six hours later, I'm ready for bed. I didn't even do anything. I have this urge to masturbate. To seek some kind of comfort in literature. In dreaming myself away. But I won't. It's pathetic. What good is the simulation of something worthwhile if all it does is remind me that I will never have it? I cannot keep up my self destructive habits. I want alcohol, sugar, sex, love, sleep, action, cigarettes, weed.. All I have is integrity. I'll probably kill myself. Someday. I hope I can. I've always been the kind of person to do things no matter how horrible I feel about it. So I suppose I could. Would be selfish of me, however. Let us hope my life gets better. I certainly hope so. Maybe once I stop being so tired of life I can start playing life according to the rules. Pick the right choices. Get a girlfriend. A job. Friends. Respect.. But there I am, dreaming about things I do not have. Fantasizing does nothing about your actual situation. At the end of the day, despite what I dream of, I am still me. Sadly.

>>8850632
>Maybe once I stop being so tired of life I can start playing life according to the rules. Pick the right choices. Get a girlfriend. A job. Friends. Respect.. But there I am, dreaming about things I do not have. Fantasizing does nothing about your actual situation. At the end of the day, despite what I dream of, I am still me. Sadly.

You will never just stop being tired of life.
You can finish high school.
You have time to read books.
Here's three things for you to do daily.
1) go to school
2)spend 1 hour (or less) doing homework, high school requires no more than this if you do it daily.
3) go for a walk for at least a half hour. (Run is preferable but work up to there)
4) don't sleep at all until 9. Any time you would nap either read, watch lectures, or text someone to see if they want to socialize.
5)only sleep at night, never nap even when tired. You clearly are not managing yourself well enough to afford luxury of naps.

If 4) is too hard right now, then go and join an extracurricular group like recreational sports or even a gym.

I'm wondering where I'm going to find a print copy of The Vagina Ass of Lucifer Niggerbastard by Christmas.

>>8850649
Failed at 1.

I want to get my life back on tracks but I have no idea how.

>>8842560
Poor

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>>8841161
just do yo thang. you won't achieve anything if you're thinking like that.


I hope I can bring myself to do some degree work tomorrow. I'm just so tired. Yet I stay up listening to "important" music and reading "important" 4chan posts, waiting for an "important" critique on my poem, "important" facebook messages, whatever. The day started off well, at least, because it didn't start with www.
I wish I didn't have to focus on one subject. All I want to do, most of the time, is read, write, or draw. Where can I find some enthusiasm for electromagnetism and statistical physics? It's so dry, so inconsequential. EM is slightly better than thermo, but still pretty mind-numbing. At least I have maths and quantum mechanics; they're interesting. Somewhat enjoyable. In fact, I feel happier just thinking about them. But they can't redeem a whole degree... how do I make EM and thermo seem more philosophically important? I suppose EM has relativity ties, and stat phys is a macro version of QM, but it's hard to bear this in mind when I'm trying to solve mind-numbing, boring, difficult problems. Fuck. I guess I wouldn't have liked another degree anyway.

>>8846511
I feel that feel. Unfortunately, I have pretty much succumbed to apathy.

I need to sleep
I need to sleep
I need to sleep

Why do I always ALWAYS fuck everything up?

;_;

>>8839009
Comfy as fuck.

>>8850143

What's the biography called? I'm interested in Napoleon.

>>8848350
I have. It is my favorite fiction thing that ive read

prayer is the last sincere form of art

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Moby-Dick is really different; ı wish there were more novels like it; pic related gives me a similar feeling.

>>8839009
https://ontheareasteps.bandcamp.com/album/o-t-a-xma-s-014

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>>8843135
>large room
>large windows
>bed in the middle of the room

That pic is NOT comfy

>>8852833
who the fuck makes these

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>>8852854
Dunno, but god bless him.

>>8837132

I just wanna make girls feel good

>>8837132

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RPfx_jFZQuI

>>8836086

It's not as fun as you think.

Trust me.

If you're fucking them from the front, they're too fat/lazy/weak to lift or spread their legs to a satisfactory extent.

If you're fucking them from behind, you'd better have a huge dick to compensate for the inches between you and her pussy that the ass creates. Even then, enjoy slipping 1-3 inches inside her.

Fat/"""thicc""" girls - not even once.

>>8838665

Join a gym with a good 6-12 week strength programme, then continue afterwards yourself.

Literally no excuse.

>>8852975

>>compensate for the inches between you and her pussy that the ass creates

This has made me unduly curious

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>>8841208

>Anon worries about WWIII
>Meanwhile it's the one thing I look forward to

>>8852929
That's impossible, anon.

>>8843616

Disgusting, I hope you get anally impaled on a fence in a high speed traffic collision,

>>8852994

It's not rocket science. A fat ass gets in the fucking way from behind.

>>8853004

It sounds like it could be kinda, nice feeling.

Don't the fat folds get all wet and kinda make up for the lack of vagina?

Would like to give it a go and test the feels desu

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>>8853006

Not worth it.

Fat girls are also, in my experience, universally loose as fuck. I'd rather masturbate than fuck a fatty, at least my hand knows how to be tight.

Kegels should be mandatory for all women.

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>tfw mentor is dead and you can't discuss the things you care about with others

I keep trying but it's like they don't understand like he did.

Working a crappy Christmas temp job while saving to move to Southeast Asia where I'll take it easy and live the /lit/ lifestyle at a fraction of the usual cost.

Is vitamin K readily available in Cambodia and how much do Amazon courier services cost? Any information on this would be much appreciated, please and thank you.

>>8852990
It's not about physical appearance though.

>>8853168

Oh, so you're just a cuck then.

Don't worry, girls like to keep your kind around. They enjoy having a friend whom they can cocktease forever without ever worrying about being tempted into fucking.

>>8853177
I don't even try to flirt because I know that's exactly what is going to happen. I think I'll just pay hookers.

>>8853197
>I don't even try

>>8853253
Why fucking bother? In their 20s, women are nothing but trouble.

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>>8853197

Christ man, have some fucking self respect.

I know chicks can be intimidating but paying hookers is a terrible, pussy little thing to do. You'll never be motivated to get a proper GF, and therefore wife, if you just pay hookers for sex. If you're resigning yourself to be that pathetic just masturbate and save yourself the fucking money.

Alternatively, you could get fit and just SOCIALIZE MORE. You think everyone who has ever gotten laid/had a girlfriend is some silver-tongued dudebro? If you put yourself out there enough, you'll find a chick that finds you naturally attractive; you won't even have to try very herd to fuck her, especially if you've got a decent physique. It's called having chemistry with someone, and you will experience that provided you're not a pathetic sadsack who just repels wimmins on sight.

>>8853312

>He thinks women are less trouble as they age

You have no idea how much their insecurity skyrockets as they physically decline. It's all downhill from 25.

>>8842984
reddit

>>8853320
Ok, but my avoidance is to what happens next, I don't have the social and financial know-how to maintain a gf right now. If I get one, it's going to be a shit relationship, and she'll leave me for a better (and I don't mean a 'Chad', just a more mature) guy. Could I attract a girl? Maybe, probably yes; should I get together? No.

>>8853350

Well, anon, I feel you.

The answer to that lies within. Get a job, work hard, pursue your ambitions, create, make yourself desirable, have a nice place to live, all that stuff.

It's not easy at all, but I like to remember this line of Nietzsche's:

"The same reasons that produce the increasing smallness of man drive the stronger and rarer individuals up to greatness."

abstinence-only sex education: the story of america

>>8853326
>downhill
That implies they had anything to degrade from

>>8853423
It's worked for me.

>>8853427

You must admit that younger women are better, physically.

>>8853312
If you don't try, don't complain.

The one thing on my mind is sitting on a bed in the corner of a room lit only by Christmas lights. The person I love the most is right next to me sharing the same flannel blanket, and sharing a bag of gummy bears and drinking from the same bottle of Welch's non-alcoholic wine watching the snow fall outside as a cat quietly snores at the other end of the bed. I naturally have cold hands, but my partner is like an organic fireplace that keeps me warm.

>>8855070
>you will never know this feel

>>8836002
If (1) came true he hab to kill himself bc of (2) lmao

It's not every day you run into a situation that is both completely juvenile and completely insane. A female friend of mine has been having some trouble with her boyfriend. He seems like an ok guy, but behind his veneer of quietness he is a paranoid maniac. Because of an incident involving his former fiance and his father, he has no trust for neither men nor women. Though my relationship to his current girlfriend is simply one of friendship, he absolutely despises me and seeks to uncover a non-existent affair every moment the two of us exchange words. He wants photos of her and the surrounding area at all times of the day and does everything in his power to prevent her from interacting with anyone of the male persuasion. The most recent event is the one that pulls this situation from a mere agitation into heinousness.

I don't like coffee much, but a fellow student had gifted me a giftcard to starbucks as thanks for helping with a project. My friend and I had just gotten out of our last class for the day and she had thirty minutes until her aunt came to take her home. I figured there was no harm in offering her some coffee, especially since it was likely the last time we would see each other. She is a business major, and I a education major so our paths weren't like to cross again. So we went and picked up some coffee, sat down and talked for a bit. after a few minutes, her aunt arrived and took her. I followed suit and drove myself home. A little while later I receive a slew of messages from her phone asking me to keep our coffee a secret from her boyfriend as he wouldn't like to hear of it. Not thinking much of it, I simply replied with "Sure thing."

After that i started receiving more messages from her asking about "us" and how it seemed i had wanted to kiss her as she left. Something was off. I responded that I knew her and her man were going through some tough times and it would be absolutely inappropriate of me to make things worse by doing something of the kind.

A few hours later, i receive a call on her phone. It is her boyfriend, and surprise surprise, it was he who was sending the messages! the fiend! the scoundrel! He promptly told me to put my friendship with his girl on hold as he sorted out the problems with her. Before I could abject and tell him the problems likely stemmed from his actions, he hung up.

Afterwards, I received a message from my friend on facebook saying simply "sorry..."
when i tried to respond a little bit later to say "I'm not mad, focus on getting everything sorted out on your end" I found that I had been blocked from sending messages to her.

Now i'm just fucking pissed

TL; DR A friend of mine has a crazy ass boyfriend who hates me and is blocking me from interacting with her at all and I just want to make sure she's ok. What the fuck do I do? Not doing anything is not an option.

>>8855070
Faggot

>>8855691
He sounds fucked but I take it he was cucked by his father which would fuck anyone up.

Sounds like he needs therapy or to do some soul-searching while single.

I understand why you're upset but have a little perspective: you are the one suffering least from this situation, and your friend will certainly not remain in this relationship forever unless it changes and will want to reunite with you.
I would say actually you should do nothing unless it seems your friend is actually going to be trapped in this toxic of a relationship forever in which case I would just communicate with her however you can offering support.

>>8855691
>What the fuck do I do? Not doing anything is not an option

Quit being a faggot.

>>8855700
>>8855715
boring night, anon?

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probably killing myself before new years. how should i go about this /lit/? thinking gun is the most reliable but don't wanna make anyone clean up after me.

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>>8855949
take a rowboat into the ocean and shoot yourself while lost at sea

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Just fucking do it. It's doable. It's completely numinous, approachable, within your realm of power, technically achievable, physically within reach. There's no tragedy about it or you. It's fucking mundane, everyone can and does do it. Just extend your hand forth and...

FUCK.

I don't know what to buy my brother for Christmas.

Here's the plot. Bonus points if you can tell what the shameless rip offs are from.

>Takes place on an Earth-like world where fantasy is high technology.
>Gods rule the populace with high technology.
>The Gods and their subjects are actually normal humans who arrived on the planet through space travel from their home world (EARTH!?!?!?!) after it suffered some cataclysmic event.
>Gods and subjects were the same on the homeworld, but Gods wrested control of technology on the current planet and ruled over their subjects, eventually brainwashing them into believing the whole God thing and making them forget their origin
>There are those amongst the subjects that know the truth (called the Fallen Gods)
>Gods monitor the subjects and destroy technological progress as it arises to remain in control
>A town begins to undergo the industrial revolution and is marked for 'correction'
>Fallen God cares deeply for some people in this town and knows whats about to happen
>Sets off to find other sympathetic Fallen Gods to create a resistance

Mostly a total rip off of Lord of Light. The part about finding others and forming a resistance is from 7 samurai.

If I live to be a hundred, it won't be enough to finish my steam backlog.

WHY IS THIS WORLD SO CRUEL!

>>8836123
They didn't choose initial conditions, but they chose to
not challenge them. For your sake, I hope they die.

>>8855070
>non-alcoholic wine

>>8856737
Maybe the development of their conditions preclude challenging them. Mighty determinism says you cant blame your parents any more than they can blame theirs ad infinitum.

A cold glass of crystal water washes down well the toasty appetite of a parched craving

>>8857284
it tastes so much better

>>8858099
Isn't it just grape juice though?

>>8858112
Yes, but carbonated

>>8858112
It is oh so good

>>8855976
Yeah I know, exams suck.

I used to be all for self knowledge. And in a very theoretical way I still am. But as I become more aware of my own mind I become disgusted by my shortcomings and general lack of rationality in how I perceive every day life. I yearn to be a wiser version of myself, someone who found understanding and compassion for my insanity, if not having overcome it completely.

>>>/adv/17868765

Will he beat the shit out of me if I'd asked him to suck his dick?

>>8858454
Only if he can't succeed in his autofellacio

>>8843005
Same, bro.

>>8836002
No me gustaría estudiar derecho porque es una carrera sucia y corrupta, y mi don me hace suceptible al odio y la envidia.

I'm about to read The Conspiracy Against The Human Race. Will this book make me want ti hate everything?

>>8858402
Nothing but some bored retard making shit up

Got a job before Christmas. Guess that's something to be grateful for.

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I want to write a light novel but I'm a baka gaijin and also a retard with a limited vocabulary and have almost lost all drive I had to do it in the time it took me to type this run-on sentence.

I've started making analytical videos on youtube on anime, games and manga as a hobby. I think it's becoming the only thing I enjoy except for reading books. Even though I pour my heart and soul into them, no one really watches them, but I'm rather proud of the content I create. 25+ minutes video talking in detail about things I enjoyed, that no one talks in length, is rather fun. I think I've reached a point in life where I can no longer differentiate whether I am mellow or just nihilistic.

I'm somewhat unsure whether my writing style should be purposefully dumbed down for a general audience so that it doesn't sound too analytical or if it doesn't actually matter. Maybe I'm just terrible at grammar and it seems natural enough.

I need to read more books on literary crticism but maybe it's not even worth it.

why do people think others care,
when people will realize its just their insecurity making them restless, its just very wierd and unsettling a lot of people just do it to show off and to aid to their reputation, its really sickening that instead of actually doing something they just want attention and yet another thing to decorate thier name.

>>8860931
Make some about books so we can shitpost about you.

>>8860935
I don't have any ideas. I'm very good about talking about the works and ideas of others, and then masking them as my own opinions, but less so about creating original content. The whole artist copy great artist steal thing, but with a self consciousness that everyone will notice.
Having a shitty memory doesn't help. I can't remember anything I've done in the past 20 years or even yesterday.

>>8860932
People people hope that their existence is not an empty void. I don't care about others or what people think, but validation gives some sort of comfort, even if you know others likely don't care. When you've come to the end conclusion that people display dishonest versions of themselves to be loved and that people cannot accept who you are, as a whole, you stop caring about everything. I tried to explain this view to a friend of mine who then told me he had cancer. He asked me if I would cry after he died and I just told him the truth: no, I wouldn't. I haven't talked to him since in four years. People desire to be remembered, to be looked at, to have some sort of validation in the darkness when even you sleep with someone, you don't feel close to them.

I wonder if this is a biological defect of some sort since my mother had the same attitude when she had our cat euthanized. Do I feel this way because of my mother, was it a reaction from the shock of her blunt answer that crying won't bring him back, or is everyone like this but they don't admit it?

>>8860954
still making yourself to be special when you know no one cares is just assuming too much about people, and its also really rude, screaming at others that "please notice me" is not just making a fool out of themselves but is also destroying someone else's space just to satisfy their insecurity. i just dont like it its them being insecure and immature but also hoping that world will revolve around them, its really sickening.

>>8860981
Well, when your view is the only one you can be assured of, it's not a stretch to assume the world does revolve around you.

>>8836175
>>8836254
He didn't actually say this by the way.

>>8836123
Kill them.

It is the only way to break the cycle, you would be a hero thousands of years in the making, the first across generations of your line to be free.

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I'm reading through the Horus Heresy. Just started book 2. With every movie, video game and book, I just get so fucking disconnected from real life.

Real life is so fucking shit. How does /lit/ cope? I read about the Astartes, about space crusades to eradicate stupid ass religions, the lives of super soldiers...

Then I go outside and listen to some woman on her phone talking to someone about how her friend wants to move because she feels like her current house is kind of small. That's all she has to converse about, apparently. Inconsequential little bullshit like that. We as a society don't strive to fix any of the billions of things wrong with our governments and ways of living. We just gossip about divorces and our houses and other boring shit. We've wrote off love as a childish thing, so most people don't even have that in their lives anymore, but wonder why their worthless marriages fall apart.

How do I care about this boring, shitty world I live in?

>>8861659
Honestly, take drugs.The removal of learned inhibition will allow you to find more worthwhile.

I'm so done with hearing people complain and make excuses. I think it's because I've spent so much time complaining and making excuses for myself. It's time to start doing things to make my life better.

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I'm starting to believe that literature triggers my depression and because of that I've stopped reading. I can't read 'happy' books, or novels with a silver-lining because it feels like reading children's literature. Books that capture my attention are making me feel heavy-hearted after finishing them.

I want to play dota all week, but I'm forced to study and read Tolstaya instead.

>>8861659

I have this problem in a way, but I have no solution. I have a real hard time "being myself," I think. I'll see something neat and then devote my life to that for a few days or maybe even a few weeks and then abandon it for the next thing. Something not even realistic or available to me at all, but I will attempt to live that life. Not in the "Drive autistic" sort of way like everyone makes fun of on /tv/, but I think I get kind of close.

I can't stop, and I can't discover who I actually am as opposed to an amalgamation of everything I want to emulate.

How can I stop thinking about her when I still love her? We were compatible. In our own way, we were perfect. Now, we can't be together because of her uptight parents. Why do they not want her dating? What's wrong with me? Why don't they trust me? Why don't they bother learning anything about me? Why would they go so far as to arrest me to keep me away from her? It's been 4 months since we were forced apart, and I still feel sick inside whenever I see her. Why am I scared of her now? I used to be so excited to see her. It's been long enough that I don't feel terrible just thinking about her, but I still think about her nonetheless. Is she as scared to approach me as I am to approach her? I wish I could just say something to her online, but I know she won't reply. She never replied. She doesn't even check our private chat anymore. I miss her. Friends and work keep me occupied when they're around, but when I'm alone with my thoughts, I still think about her. I miss her. It wasn't fair what happened to us. I want her back. I miss her.

>>8852929
Only you can make yourself feel good.

>>8861764
>>8855691
That hit close to home for me too. But seriously lad you need to help this girl see that this guy is no good without getting murdered in the process.

Gotta move on. Fuck. Ah well. Shit. That's the way it goes. Tomorrow's lamb stew is going to be delicious. Mud grips on everything, camouflage on everything, yeaaah yeahhh. I wish I could be a redneck. I wish I could live a simple hard-working blue collar lifestyle. I wouldn't fit in with my coworkers. Wasn't Five Easy Pieces about similar feels? Maybe I should rewatch it. Don't mean nothing. Why the fuck are my balls so itchy? I took a shower a couple of days ago. Are these plastic flip-flops leaking estrogenic chemicals into my body?

This was indeed a comfy thread.

I spent the last 3 hours saving interesting posts on /lit/ to use as reference in my novel but you guys are not worthless enough. Wizchan is slow and nothing really good comes out of r9k, the books i was researching are too good and *round* for me to try to use as reference, i can only use them as some sort of inspiration but is not working anymore since my project is way to different of anything i know.

Using photographs and anime worked for a bit but i need to consume more to able to finish it. I don't where else to search. My characters are still lacking something and am not talented enough to create them out of myself since i can't completely relate to the character i am trying to make.

Maybe i should try to go in a pub in the shity part of the town but i probably won't find anything helpful.

>>8862844
What exactly are you looking for?

I think, therefore I am.
I am, therefore I have fucked your mum.

>>8862889
Miserable and failed people but i can't get my characters right.

I am not being able to express myself in my own language, so it is not a surprise that i could not to share my thoughts correctly here. I guess my post was also not very comfy. Sorry.

im so fucking hungry
and watching japanese cooking videos didnt help

I have to keep awake for the whole day
Im feeling like ripping my guts out and hanging from the celling

I'm a huge fucking wimp.

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>>8836002
All light has gone from my life.

I'm not as intelligent as my friends and family think I am.

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Why am I constantly compelled by cowardice and idiocy...why can I not divorce myself from these things or apply myself in worthy endeavors with the same fervor with which I abject myself everyday in pursuit of indolence and idleness. The good does not resonate with me a tithe so much as the bad...am simply I some evil creature...

>>8841196
Back to /fit/

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I just want to be able to communicate better, I want to form good relationships and memories with people that really mean a lot to me, but they don't know that.
I'm just like a robot, I want close friendships, the kinds that people would be like your brothers
Sick of being alone, at least my parents call