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Anonymous
Poem I wrote pls rate 2016-12-03 08:45:07 Post No. 8795706
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Poem I wrote pls rate 2016-12-03 08:45:07 Post No. 8795706
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Oh my dear life
What the hell is going on
There's so much strife
There is something wrong
We need to fight enemies with a knife
Look out for the con
He is there with a chance on his sleeves
And his soul tortured by those ghosts
But quickly we can rise again
We can fight the old plans and the new
This is my destiny for you
If you only you could see to live beyond your dreams
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I was planning on doing something today, until i read that. It really just sucked all the energy and hope out of me
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>>8795706
You're stiff as fuck and you're too direct.
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Why your poem is objective shit: an analysis.
--You haven't killed yourself prior to writing your poem
wew, kys
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>>8795706
wtf no rhyme at all this is 0/5
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i like it, OP. post more.
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>>8795706
Hey OP. I really appreciate your attempt to rhyme although the lack of meter or syllable count really hurts you. Overall this is a pretty weak poem, as another anon said it is too direct and I would add that it lacks the emotional substance a good poem should convey. That being said a good way to get better is to practice and not get discouraged by previous attempts. If you're really interested in writing poetry or better understanding its mechanics I highly recconend reading John Hollander's Rhyme's Reason. Good luck.
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5/7
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