/lit/ game

>>8780645
Because I'll come for you in the night otherwise

>>8780645
Mine is good, theirs is not.

My book is good

>>8780645
I'll murder you in your sleep if you don't.

>>8780645
To sate the lower classes and delay revolution.

>>8780653
Ill murder this guy in his sleep if you publish me instead

>>8780645
I'll blow you. Other books might make you more money that you can spend on blowjobs but it's not going to feel as good because those prostitutes don't need to blow you specifically. They can blow any number of dicks for money but I can only blow yours to get what I want. I am completely at the mercy of your dick and that's why it will be the best blowjob of your life.

>>8780659
Or we can both murder him, and I can pose as him, taking up his publishing powers. Then I can publish both of us, and, in the same turn, we may both prosper. Wouldn't be the first author to mysteriously disappear after his life's work.

>>8780645
Because my book will sell more copies than any other weeb is capable of producing.

>>8780662
My cock is genuinely pleased by your offer. Unfortunately your book seems can't keep the same expectations that my cock has for your mouth.

>>8780645
"I'll make a eccentric, wild persona and draw huge amounts of attention to myself in the media's eyes which will result in huge sales of my book and more profit for you. I'll wear tons of crazy clothes and act really smart and edgy. Basically like Andy Warhol or Marilyn Manson."

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>>8780645
please

>>8780645
My blog, youtube channel, Twitter, and Instagram followers will buy my book.

>>8780645
You won't even remember these guys. I, on the other hand, leave a first impression.

GRAAA
GRAAA
GRAAA

ZIP
ZOP
TALLYWOP
NIGGER

>>8781328
So eight sales guaranteed. You drive a hard bargain...

>>8781347
Eight more than some other nobody.

>>8780645
I'd just walk right into your office, give you a firm handshake, and shout "You're hired!"

>>8780645
ill tell my mom

>>8780645
i'm a wheelchair-bound gender-fluid pansexual mixed-race (both non-white) atheist; if you don't publish my book you are LITERALLY oppressing my people

>>8780645
I'll kill you if you don't publish it. But I promise to kill myself if you do.

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>>8780645
>2017
>not self-publishing your work

>>8780645
Intelligent people like me - don't you?

>>8780645
That's my agent's job.