The Gospel According to Saint Haphazard

what the High Explosive/
double hockey sticks
you gonna do?
about that turtleneck,
chicken head,
ratchet,
with too black
hatchets?
unnatural prose,
turn the whole town to glass
with that
coquelicot,
agent orange laser,
set phasers to trill,
real ass nigga/
Bobby Hill/
eatin yummy glass cakes, at the friendly baking sale
what the goddamned hell
world war merchant
mass producer/
I'm fucking up/
/ swag /
needs me some
smelling salts/
shakin California faults/
why is it so hard/
to catch a/
fucking Ralts
I mean my brain is so jelly
like
wat /
real nigga
I am so unfeeling,
that I am making
ten fucking pornos
called the fucking peeling
all fucking starring
Kacey Fucking Jordan
and it's so fucking urgent
that I'm like /
what up slut?
You are just so very happening.

Saint Haphazardly, mobbing kinda tragically, vapidly lobbing grenades hitting targets magically
World class street urchin, spittin verses out of hearses
allegedly likes amphet,
& little boys.
but sure enough
knows about the
huff n puff,
H.R. Puffinstuff
killing all the penguins
throwing up the plasma/
like them kooky Klingons.
droppin that dookie,
any Green Day now/
operation ground pound
icecream scoop ya eyeballs
so you want/
ugh/
see my frowny
crystal weed brownies\
got that swag like
Downy /
trisome /
Syndrome\
snatchin up ya little ones
incredibly whacking off klaxons camouflaged in dacrons
having
too
much fun
knowin they won't see...
my itty bitty
m6
16
danglin in my trenchcoat
ever so suspenseful
since I stab Mice Elf in the face
with that fucking graphite pencil.
My life has no stencil
so I scribble till I dribble
cause you cain't get paid
till you film that fucking money-shot
And I ain't really hot,
but I got....
9 million bitches,
and you know what they do.
warsh ,wrench, and clean
the bloody body spatters
offed off
of
the tablecloth
slathered up with maple sauce
because I would never rape myself
with pancakes,
like what the
actual fuck?

I have Jesus in my eye
and he is
pretty fly
so I gave him bukkake/
weeaboo like some Pocky.
You'll don't even/
Puff that crystal rocky
or go in slo-mo.no homo.
swagger so dreddful
Judge Dredd fucking sucks
and where is my tinfoil?
flattened...
I need my hat... ahem
and I ain't chocolate....
cherry Eminems.
never be thankful
til I pick my victim
slice them up vertical
then I use them chainsaw/
rusty/
from dusky to the next day
quad amp on a skatedeck
so you never go away
you won't even say ow/
because I am a nice guy.

wow
Just like Mr.Rogers
or Maybe Duck Dodgers
in the
Satanic
Dentistry
Industry
22nd century
Mr. fuckin Rogers
happy smiling sweatervest
Saint Haphazard
one hood ass nigga
got that (Nintendo) power
I have magic powers
totally
Memorized
console commands
like this life is a game....
Jesus fucking Christ
Camp trip to trip camp I'm carrying several seventeen hatchets
whipping babies on the back of the bus lash
"they" lookin at me ratchet
cooking anthrax over an open range because I'm dangerous
and feeling extant cause, so I can't be found with a sextant
ranting pedantically in shallow water\
fuck an otter/
liberal body count with conservative ammunition
an endangered diseased species so boring I shop Tediore
and quick to cut you off at the kankles for fandangling my pet pangolin
harder to read than James Joyce through an inkblotter
thot slotter
Infiltrating the place like a wastrel
with the grace of eight aces and a based troll.
embracing that which is imbrued through and through
only picking up old news and scattered views /
I'm forecasting shattered pews / splattered with tattered truces, however I'm used to it....
Bitches love me, they fuck me erryday, son,
britches glove meat , sagging skinnies like I'm gay son,
hey son,
you heard left,
flechette in ya soft pallete,
leave you dying on the pallet,dropping crap rhymes at nap-time, up up in Kendra's Garden
I'm lost, my minds phallic.
with a rap style malic and loosely defined/
metal gear solid
creepin up behind...
Sidewinder Jones
invisible and blind...fucking up swag, fucking from behind.
ugh,
feculent with the decadence
specular effects like Virginia Tech
what the heck?
ya'll forgot about Woodham.
I'ma tell ya whats good, son
honey bunnies, runny cunnies, the funny munnies, and punny lunkies?
metabolic junkies, with radical comrades and thats no mask-er-add.
Masquerade.
On Parade, with napalm and whitey's white phosphorous, still posh and lutz, and gluttonous for the cannabus...
plan to bust, through the drywall, and pull out my eyeballs, Where's Odin?
Odin Pop, for you and your chaps to fap or clap to, as a matter of fact
soon you'll be wearing my tattoos

Saint Hapzardous, latter day splatter pus, pyic drip from rusty ole mazard
plus,
I'll bust you in your gusset while you cussin'
at your kissing cousin & nuzzlin'
as I'm guzzlin'
hydrochloric and chloroform
like thats my fuckin norm.
Psychic assassin who's a little less than gormless, I'm formless/
per chance of a mighty morphin'
endorphin merchant
doomsday dealing redundancy,
cunt you see? 3rd eye blind skullfuckin, I'm fucked up, don't have to duck down
I catch a curbstompin standing up,
so inane he clean his cranium against the blacktop, but ain't crackrock enough to macadamize into the backdrop.
corpsegrinder,who's Burning dirtyrocks with a firerune/ Noon comes and I say “how so soon?”/languid liltations as I lull in vegetable serenity, such
proclivities prepare for me an obsolescent infinity.
Why Does my muse lead me to such strange salts? is it that unpopular personalities highlight casually accepted societal faults? My “maybe”sins are knocking
mental teeth with a kitchen beaver/
cleaver
vegan bbq at an all ages holocaust party
charbroil a baptist out of forced habit, silly rabbit, snips are for kids
Neo-tragic wasteland fun who'd swallow vaguely defined pastimes to replicate osteopathic bastions of hollowed thought, intellectual dreadnaught drought with a red snout.
I'm a cartilaginous ratchet jaw who'd vivisect a wicked clown with their own hatchet ya'll. A somewhat sainted haphazardly hurried Burroughs/I nut/something sinister
/ the malcontent administering to a minister's enema in my megadoomer pilotseat collecting "strange meat"
CANNIBAL
Putrescently feculant reluctant aneurysm mannerism plucking nasal hair with a laser. Pray to your ole intangible, as I spray you down with frangibles, or put
deet in the vein. cousin skeeter fuckin lame. Jihadic porno flow, giftwrapping little packets of shit for you to sift through on the thouroughway. It's pretty gay, but don't fuck widdit, pretty boy bitch mob
lobbing cannonballs through granite walls
before you do with it ,
best be reminded of the critic
who, first said ,
there was another way
but not yourn. Warsh and wrench them dishes or die up in them trenches
for
orange was not the same, when said with different names.
as each dame's name was meant to be an ingest,
because what i say seems to be of interest.
the end.
now hurry up and die fucker