Write what's on your mind

ideas being put together by imagination. this i cant access, i only have access to the end products, which are no longer 'on the mind'.

so, that cant be written. maybe you meant 'write what your are receiving from your mind'?

>>8730459
holy shit that penguin is fat

I want to go home and sleep but I'm at work and I have an essay to write

>>8730459
Fucking hell i miss her. Why do i miss her more when i'm drunk? i want to be drunk every night if that's the case. But i have no money to get drunk. I want to earn more so i could drunk and miss her. Why can't i forget her? Drinking is not good for me. Yet i do it every night. Why? fuck i am pathetic. Fuck you death drive. I want to live. Live to get drunk. I'll try my best so i can live as long as i can, so i can drink as much as i can, and get drunk and miss her as much as i can. In addiction she's my motivation.

pretty sure i'm gonna puke with cringe when i see this tomorrow. right now i am drunk as fuck it..

I miss being a student. I miss that feeling of exerting my mind toward something, even if it was just a grade. Now everything feels so static. I need something to do.

I unironically hope trump drains the swamp and starves the federal beast, i voted for him out of pure spite for the entire country. I hate all these protesting fucks, I seriously hope they start more riots and get gunned down by the cops. Leech the bad blood from this country. I told my dad every rioter that gets shot is one less welfare check we have to pay. I literally stayed up until 3 in the morning one time after going to bed at 1 am, just thinking about the fucking Ferguson riots and almost shaking with rage of how much if I was there I would kill anyone who broke into my shop, even though I am too much of a pussy to kill anyone. Just the thought of those fucks thinking they have a right to destroy property over their shitty political cause makes me shake with fucking rage. Then fags like that Dylan Roof go kill black people and punish them for shit they didn't do, while these fucking fags who destroyed that indian guy's store get away scot-free. Fucking makes my blood boil, I'm pretty jaded and cynical but for some reason tht shit gets to me.

sorry if it's too /pol/ for your interests OP but it's what's on my mind.

>>8730508
>I need something to do.

Read.

>>8730513
I do, more than anything else besides sleep. It's not enough.

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>>8730512
>sorry if it's too /pol/ for your interests OP but it's what's on my mind

That's alright, friend. Thanks for sharing.

>>8730486
>right now i am drunk as fuck it..
We can tell.

>>8730459
Writing a novel is extremely taxing and arduous.

>>8730459
"what's on your mind"

all I want is a nice conservacuck girl who takes care of herself and likes to read. Is that too much to ask?

Please kill me

Frustration desu.

Wanting so bad yet failing, even after sincere effort. I don't feel equipped to be what I want to be in life.

I want to master something but I never produce anything that I can look at proudly. I practice and practice but out comes this shit.

I think these are symptoms of having an average IQ, or rather whatever IQ is supposed to represent. I think I'll never really get what I want, even if I pour myself into it. I hate being myself, but I'm still afraid of dying.

Everyday revolves around this thought and whether I am overcoming that particular day or not. Today it seems to be the latter, and I'm exhausted.

>>8730470
autism speaks

>>8730473
it is, isn't it?

>>8730479
cool story bro

>>8730486
you must be drunk

>>8730508
>he needs an institute to make him a student

>>8730512
those protesters own your mind hard

>>8730619
it should be an iterative process of simple joys

>>8730709
0/10. superfluous quotes

>>8731097
apparently so far it is

>>8731123
11/10

>>8731147
waaaaaaaaaaaaa

What am I thinking about? Probably nothing, I generally don't begin thinking until 8 or 9 PM. I have things I should be doing, and here I am. What a waste of time, I gotta go.

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another day of wagecuckery tomorrow

just end it lads

I'm sleepy

I actually would probably like to get married one day. However, I'd need to get married to someone who I could share all my weird and terrible fetishes with. I feel like in a proper marriage you shouldn't hide anything from your spouse, so I'd have to tell her about all my /d/ and /trash/-tier kinks. I hope I can find a woman who will go for that.

>>8730459
I think I should quit college. I don't have the math abilities required to complete a degree in economics. My parents won't pay for me to study something like English.

There's not a single moment of the day that I don't feel discomfort.

>>8730508
That's what jobs are for.

Ugh.

>>8731899

Tell them you want to go to law school and then major in philosophy or English which are two of the best pre law majors.

"the hardships and endeavors of the near future will put yourself to the test. This is it, this is that another chance even though the odds of completing this task will be stacked against you. Don't fret. You've done this before. You've got a trick up your sleeve this time."
short free write about my nervousness of going back to college

I really like her, but she didn't want me, so I cut her out of my life.

this dumb story no one will buy it holy shit I suck so much I shouldn't have used so many 'was' in that action scene I didn't know what to do I hope I get negative reviews so I can feel like someone at least understands my fucking pain here god damn you am I that lonely? Seriously? Fuck you, get out of my head! No you, nigger digger spic cadaver killer.
Why am I writing this damn post I should fap and go to bed god dammit I'll never get better at writing I need to read those books gotobednigger

>>8732619
I'm in a similar boat, just took a year off, going back spring. What's your sleeved trick? Was hoping to find mine might be new understanding

>>8732633
metaphor for having higher maturity and experience.

I wish people didn't tell me some things are impossible. Are they? Why are things the "way they are" and why is that basically the end of whatever it is? Why does everyone give up so easily because they are told something can't be done?

That part in The Matrix about there being no spoon is an interesting one to me. What if that is actually true in a way? What if things are not impossible even if they seem improbable because we doubt it or are told it to be so? Am I ranting like a lunatic?

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>>8730459
i don't really want to go to the gym today
i'd rather stay at home and eat doritos and read a book
but if i don't go my girl might not wank me off later

i want her to wank me off
oh well off i go

seeing my life from outside point of view, and it is terrible i tell you, even if i meditate and paint-draw, play my old guitar, well, im still learning, learning through creating something, writing what's on my mind once in a while in my diary, im only 19 years old, my life basically just begun, or it hasn't yet, i just dont know, but i just dont know...

>ugh, why...
>fuck

I might just rape her so I can move on and focus on other things.

>>8733540
top kek

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MtcLh_8eOic&list=PLnGBcsajZuOCOvRya_zbkCEXkW2h1yEmz

I've got it all. But I can't do anything worthwile with myself. I want to escape and live freely, but I don't know how. I value myself too much to just waste my life.

>>8733012
Wtf hahaha.
Now thats what i call cucked.

My skin feels like clothing that's a size too small. I would just like someone to notice me, smile at me. I want to experience love again.

>>8731246
>it should be an iterative process of simple joys

That's just, like, your opinion, man.

Love is an STD

I think I liked it better when I was just her customer. I fucked it all up when I asked for her number b/c I always go for crazy pussy. She was nice whenever I go to get a coffee at her work, now, she'll throw whatever she can get her hands on, fucking pans, bricks (that was yesterday), plates, etc. I'm scared as fuck to end it like a gentleman.

>>8733809
get cucked xdxd

>>8733633
ok anon whatevs
i went to the gym today and i got a handjob
what did you do?

>>8730517
go out and smash pussy

It's really fucking disheartening to have a professor who is obviously brilliant and in possession of a really, really interesting distinct little "packaged" way of approaching a certain problematic or field of discourse, like he has this qualitatively novel or exceptional miniature Weltanschauung or instinct that he can activate as a "unit" and just completely untangle what had previously been a fundamental antinomy for the entire field because everyone else was just battering their own funadmentally ineffective methods/perspectives against it like cudgels instead of hitting the magical shatterpoint that makes it unravel and resolve itself, and then have the guy be a) completely uncomprehending of the fact that you are aware this is a singular thing he is doing, while other people can't see the forest for the trees and just assume he has a big grab-bag of methodological quirks, b) possibly unaware himself that he has stumbled onto a qualitatively new thing and not just a well-constituted grab-bag, and c) annoyed and dismissive when you repeatedly try to demonstrate you want to grok his approach

I feel like I'm living in a world full of people who never thought of the idea of the butterknife, but kept trying to butter their toast with sharp cutting knives, and here's this guy who has clearly become conscious of this problem and gone out of his way to make special blunt knives for himself so he can more easily spread condiments on his toast and I'm like "dude how did you make that, I totally see what you're getting at and I agree, let's tell all the other guys about it so they can stop having shittily buttered toast" and he's like WHY ARE YOU IN MY KITCHEN? I GUESS I JUST LIKE KNIVES OR WHATEVER WHO CARES GET OUT

I wish I could go home and read The Brothers K but I'm looking at another hour of work and an hour of travel.

I feel for the "start with the greeks meme"
Now I cannot escape. Did you now spartans perfected their army to keep the slaves from revolting?

I'm regretting that cold leftover pizza straight out of the fridge, and trying but failing to summon the motivation to work on my current writing project.

On the other hand, I have a nice hot chocolate.

>>8734677
Believable.

Athens was built on the backs of slaves.

Infanticide in Athens and Sparta and elsewhere was astronomical, but I can see why they did it.

>>8730459
I'm never going to be a succesfull director and i probably should stop wasting my time on thinking and writing absurd script, better focusing on the real world. But at the same time i haven't even tried to be a director and i feel like if i don't try i'm just going to find myself regret my choises for my entire life

>>8734576
What field you in?
More details anon please

I used to really like writing fantasy and science fiction, and I still do. However, in the last few years I've developed an interest in writing literary fiction, along with magical realism; this has stemmed from reading more Modernist writers.

I want to get my literary writing published, but I also want to get my sci-fi/fantasy writing published. And I want to do it all under my name, instead of using a pseudonym. How do I find an agent, when most modern agents seem to be heavily specialized?

>>8730459
Why does it occur to me day upon day that not one is not interested in who I am as this "material individual" that will soon decay from this physical universe. The feel of blending in with the rest of society is frightening.

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Thank moot for the "hide threads" function. No sffg plebs and I don't have to see high schoolers' dumb Tinder stories! :DDDD

>>8734898
It's not all about Tinder. We'd listen to your playing-Runescape-every-Friday-night stories in return.

>>8734930
>It's not all about Tinder

It's all about NOT LITERATURE. Honestly, you're just annoying, if you want the truth of it. There are a variety of other boards you could post your blog on fyi, and a variety of different sites.

>>8734936
I thought you hid the thread?

>>8734943
I did.

>>8734898
Thanks for the bump :^)

>>8734945
So you're just here to..

tell us what's on your mind?

>>8734956
Yes, and what's on my mind is that I've now hidden 6 threads from the catalog.

>>8730508
You can study something without taking a course. Learn something on your own.

>>8734960
Checkmate, bitch.

>>8731833
iktf onii-senpai

>>8731911
But most jobs are dead-end. You aren't working towards anything, you're just grinding out the days.

>>8730459
What is dried milk and how would it taste?

>>8735070
Just googled it and apparently powdered milk is a thing.
So...yeah.

>>8735082
You did not know about the existence of powdered milk?

>>8735089
Not him, but I wish I didn't.

>>8735089
Well I know baby formula was a thing but I always thought of it as a necessary (busy mother, lactose intolerant baby that sort of thing). I never would have considered powdered milk as something people would consciously go out and buy as I can't think of a reason why you would ever need powdered milk.

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Crime and Punishment is such a comfy read, desu.

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I wrote this today. Sometimes I feel bad man.

>>8730459
I think the world has come to be to serious. Or maybe it was always just that way. I just wish we all could be naive again, believe in childish things like fairness and being kind. I think we've all got ourselves wrapped up into things we can not control, but we think we can. As a society we've collectively drunk the kool-aid that says somethings are worth killing for, ruining people's lives for. Stay safe.

why do i really like super happy bubbly girl bt date the emos who are suicidal.

I want to be able to go anywhere I want in the world, have romance with women around the globe, nights out under the stars and cool desert breeze with a busty brunette who loves wine, an afternoon kayaking in the exotic Caribbean islands with an adventurous, romantic blonde as the sunset taints the trees a beautiful orange-gold, nights up in a penthouse in the middle of downtown Manhatten, the feint lights and noises of the the city below almost masquerade the quiet whisper of a petite French girl in bed, curled up with me, drinking hot chocolate on this chilly winter night. The snow gathers up on the windowsill.
God I fucking want that so bad. I want to date more women, get into the game, have romance, drink wine and listen to classical piano and eat carpaccio and read books with girls, get to know each of their personalities, learn about women, compare and contrast them. Romance is just so fucking fun.

>>8735434
Because you have something in common. People love to commiserate.

Going cold turkey on my rhinitis medicamentosa.

Life or happines seems fake to me, or very impersonal. Seeing someone smiling, enjoying what the day has brought to them always feels unreachable, devoid of any apparent possibility that would assure me that i will truly be like them, a smile on my face real as the sunlight, clear thoughts on the mind, and a heart free of thorns. What is present for them would be past for me. A time where i don´t belong.
And whatever wish there is to transform what is an eternity for myself are short lived, epehemeral and insignificant. Wishes that are imprioned in a transparent cage, only with apparent freedom to the eyes and a claustrophobic sensation when tha hand touches the wall. They will never get out, nor do i desire them to.
I exist, but i don´t believe it.

Pardon my english, it is not my first language.

>>8735470
>learn about women

Like the heat,
I make the ladies sweat.
What you're trying to learn about women,
I'm trying to forget.

t. Maestro Fresh Wes

>>8735471
im known for not feeling anything. any emotion for anything.

I put too much stock in astrologers, even if I am one myself. I was just listening to a woman who does astrology readings out on the west coast who I paid like $500 for a reading 2 years ago. I thought I'd listen to the mp3s of her speaking for 5 hours again, that maybe it would ring true -- but it just made me angry that someone who ostensibly is one of the best astrologers in her field and who I paid so much money for could be so WRONG about who I am, what my potential is, and what my life is about. Basically, she painted a pitful and depressing picture of a salesman on the road living out of motels, and she said that I would teach at universities, and that I would be a musician, and that I'd be a marketer... none of it true. I found myself cursing at the recording, "Wrong, wrong! How can you be so fucking WRONG?" I was furious. I guess what really bothers me is -- what if she ends up being right, and my life really is just as sad and drab and mediocre as that? What if there's no avoiding it?

Life continues to escape me
I feel like I want romantic relationships and connections but I also realize they aren't for me and I'm easily bored by these things but still crave the intimacy and connection
It's this strange feeling of loneliness that I understand the source of and actively try to combat but still lingers
Makes me think whether or not I'll ultimately fulfill the goal of life, ya know, propagating your genetics and making a legacy through children
If I don't do that, what's the point in life? Am I just a genetic deadend?

>>8735767
t. me

Can't decide if I want to write fantasy or if I want to try and write a real /lit/ novel, and whether or not to restart my diary now or in december. Also I don't know if I should try and start writing now or read more and then get into it.

>>8735782
I can't say I'm glad to see someone in the same boat as me but it's reassuring to see that I'm not alone
I'm not sure if it's an existential crisis, mainly because I'm not big into existentialism but one of my friends told me these feelings are common in Nausea by Sartre, so I'm gonna pick that up soon

I'm sure we'll be fine though anon, the best way out is through

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i wanna smoke some pot

I will never be whole again.
I watched someone shoot himself today in an effort to get his girlfriend back. skull fragments and blood and brains everywhere. I've broken countless ribs needlessly trying to revive those who are ready to die. I've found weeks-old corpses who nobody cared enough to check on other than me for their appointments, and their dogs and cats had started to gnaw at them because of how long theyd been dead.
ive watched men and women cry because their children havent spoken to them in years. ive watched a woman's hands rot off because she refused to take her rubber gloves off in fear of contracting an infection. ive reported repeated rapes, witnessed physical abuse to the point of death.
this job wears at me so much some days. it makes me wonder who the hell even cares except for us. who the hell takes care of their parents anymore?
its so commonplace that it doesnt even surprise me anymore when i witness a disgusting way to die.
if the world had a doctor it would be diagnosed with advanced cancer.
im tired. im so very tired and i want it to slow down. i need for it to slow down.

I cannot form the words that describe my thoughts and emotions, whenever I try to truly express what is within me it is stacked syllables of nonsense, a half-language of meaningless noise.

What is to become of us? We brothers on this planet Earth, we who have spilt, do spill, and shall spill again each other's life upon the world; for what do we strive? For what purpose is our machined life? How far may we go forth into the darkest night afore we find the light? Be it blinding or revealing?

Holl for now came thee that sought, and such was the fire that burns in flesh on soiled bones. How quoth the kelman? Drilt much those ways that bind; heavy is the soil of the lands we walk. Kremase! For built was this we know upon the backs of backs, the tiding whirl of all ours is but the echoes of the forebearers, and of their father's own.

Thei wilch em, folken folk for with thy hand, and nou upon thei brakten schire: sych meln upon wilch their bairn come sovtly, broken nou aneth en leit the brakten oldenfolk.

Schult til maanilkjiel, maklimooral, ycromacol sisctoptalja er chümnalos'se'her, ckel rom nontellja. Husc vei tjelan fornagresaatvasderat.

Fermockalnitlachtjaschiteivomolatiscackevisimecgleordoscivestilbetjaktos-gaedamosekalremestrosererkomolamnistishremalos. Remalksretyouramoslostapkreltyaarsmanos.

>>8730459
I want to be better at so many things and I doubt I can get to them all in time.

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Why isn't there a board for fine art? I feel like just dumping my whole folder on /lit/ one of these days.

what am i supposed to get out of life if im not passionate about anything? i dont love learning or exercising or writing or music, but i like them passively and enjoy them to an extent. am i supposed to wait until i find my niche or do i just dedicate myself half assedly to some hobby or area of study to give my life a bit of meaning?

there is no beauty in this world

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>>8730512

I've never seen ideology this pure.

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>>8730459

These threads always remind me of the fact that, beneath the surface, /lit/ is basically /r9k/ with books.

>>8736438
Spoiler: so is all of 4chan

>>8736438
wasn't that discredited

>>8736438
Yeah but pretty much all the books we talk about are the same thing in one form or another

>>8730459
Want to write a Fantasy novel. Don't know how to start.

>>8736401
there totally is tho dude

>>8736438
>r9k goes to the gym is /fit/
>r9k goes to the mall is /fa/
>r9k goes to school is /sci/
>r9k goes to the library is /lit/

>>8735375
10/10 teenage whining, would cuddle with while you cry about some stupid highschool shit

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I'm stuck in a loop, and with each lap I get slower and slower, feeling my engine approaching failure.

I've written a novel. 80,000 words. Not terrible, either. Some really good prose here and there, some philosophy without naval-gazing, some emotionally charged dialogue and some depictions of violence that seem to transcend disgust.

But I can't send it out. I can't find an agent. I keep going through and rewriting, and its making me sick. There's always a new feather sticking out of the pillow that I feel I need to pull out
>These characters are flat and uninteresting, I need to bring them to life
>Does this plotline actually have relevance to the theme I'm trying to portray?
>This section's prose sounds too much like filler, it needs to be made beautiful
>Am I being too hamfisted with my metaphors?
>Are my framing devices too cliched?
>What's the fucking point of this book?
Over and over I go through, but each time is slower than the last. Sometimes now it takes a week to edit and reforge a few thousand words. I spend so much time gazing at the ceiling, or listening to music, or browsing 4chan, but a lot of the time I can't even bring myself to think about sitting in front of the computer to type. I'm at Oxford for the year, which truly has an inspiring air to it, but the way classes work here gives me so much free time, which I inevitably squander. In my most productive moods in days past, I'd sit at a cafe for 6 hours straight and bang out a chapter or two. If I had that steam now, I could have written five novels since I arrived here in last month.

It's all made me so anxious. My diet has tanked, I'm losing muscle mass. I've been shitting what feels like battery acid for the past week because all I've eaten has been Serrano ham and chilli sauce drenched popcorn chicken, and all I've drank is gin, red bull, and coffee. I know I need to make a change, but it's so hard to focus on things when it feels like there's work to be done. I know if I could just get the first 50 pages to the point where I'm happy with them, then I'd send it off to an agent and an editor could do the rest, and I'd finally be able to move on.

My father tells me I should start a new novel, but that might be even harder of a task to wrap my head around than finding an agent for my first one. How could I leave such a large project on the back burner? What if I get stuck in the same garbage that I'm in now? Then I'll have two headaches to deal with, and what then, would I start a third?

There are few feelings worse than wasted potential. I'm still young but I've lost so much time. My inability to tie a pretty bow on this project makes me feel physically ill. On top of it all, I can't even be sure if my writing is any good. Friends, family and professors all nod their heads like yes men and encourage me onward when they read my drafts, but I can't seem to pass my own vote of confidence.

This has been cathartic. Thank you guys.

>>8736809
Can i read what you have written so far? It sounds pretty good, my man

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this is not good for all life on earth or it's good?
seem like humankind will more depress by their evolution in to robots
maybe we human is merely passageway to become something which better for the world

I have a good idea of what is right and achieve things when I apply myself, but I'm easily distracted by my vices. When I give full rein to my desires I feel afterwards decentred, uncollected, and it takes some time to reconstitute myself. I have been very good recently but had a relapse today. I'm going to try to dedicate what remains of the day to study.

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>>8736950
I honestly would, friend, but I would rather not have it out before getting it published (if such a thing ever happens), particularly in its current unfinished state.

Pretty much the anxiety that I described in my post manifested once again.

But I promise, if I do ever get it published, I'll come shill it on /lit/ and sign copies to send to anons.

Pic related, though. It's a recentish print out I did for editing (with an appropriate backdrop, of course). It's nice having a physical copy despite not being done. Gives me a break from looking at a screen and lets me trash myself in glorious red ink without restraint. Something about editing on a computer doesn't feel right. Also, holding a thick 245 pages of your own creative energy in your hands feels good man, published or not. I won't do another print out, though, I'm at the stage where 90 percent of the prose is more-or-less in the place I want it to be. I'm starting to overthink things, and a first novel doesn't have to be perfect anyways. If it's half-decent enough to get published, I'll be happy.

Maybe posting a picture of it will help put my feet to the fire. It's time to fucking finish this thing. Hold me to it, /lit/.

>>8735767
Don't be a slave of your genes.

TRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUMP!! WoO!

Freshman in university. I got a C on a philosophy essay today. First time I've ever got a grade like that. Sounds stupid but I've been barely able to think about anything else all day. Just whether the grade was justified, whether I could have done it different, whether this is the right course for me.

I starting to wonder if I'm cut out for this. It's an analytic department, and they make you feel like such a fraud for being rhetorical. Just the way they cut through all your bullshit. Maybe I should drop it, just stick to continental stuff, stay in the English department, even though it's a shithole.

It's not normal to get this worked up about a grade is it? Am I overreacting?

>>8736031
you could go to /his/ probably

>>8730512
I admire your hatred.
Thanks for sharing.

"Just for one day, can we pretend?" He looks up at her. She runs her fingers through his curly gray hair.
"Would we be able to go back if we did?" She steps down from her pedestal and looks at her self in the mirror.
"I don't think so." He says softly. She turns to him and smiles.
"I'm okay with that."

>>8737474
If you're a freshman it's normal. When you enter a substantially new environment acclimation often feells like shit

>>8736031
/hr/ has had some good art dumps. It feels like /vg/ in terms of how insular the threads are, if you don't mind being an island of culture surrounded by porn and your pictures are high enough quality it's the place to go

>>8730459
Aristocrats of the mind, they don't live among the mass. Why? Because their noble spirits can withstand the rotten world that the plebs have built. The plebs will justify their pathetic lives with whatever they can, as the post-modernist destruction of the "grand narrative" really helps them in their pursuit of mediocrity. Whatever, if the mediocre lesser beings can come with whatever they feel entitled to do, it is alien to us; only the kalos kagathos is up to finding delight in the pleasures of reason.
So, in words that you can understand, fucking plebs, get the fuck out of my board. Ree.

>talking to girl
>she asks if i have dimples
>give a big toothy smile
>she says aw
>havent been able to stop thinking about it

ok

>>8730459
I have ruined everything with my indecisiveness and now have lost the one person that I ever really loved. I wish that I was a better person or that I could have been there for them when they needed me now I have lost someone that I would die to be able to touch once. M heart was dead before them and now it is going to die again if he won't just talk to me again. This is what I get for trying not to hurt anyone I ended up hurting everyone. I am a lot older than most of the people on this site I'm not being mellow dramatic. I have never loved or desired this way before and now from one mess up I may have lost them. I was on the verge of killing myself before and if I can't get them back I will have to go through with it. I can't go back to how I was before. Just posting on this site everyday, reading books, playing video games, and watching anime. Nothing will be fulfilling without them. If I don't hear from them in the next couple of days I'm going to pawn some stuff and fly to Alaska.

>>8736809
>>8737049
Whenever you get near the end of a big project, one of the best things you can do is take a step back. If there isn't any urgency in getting it published, you can risk taking a month or a few months off to do something else with your life. You'll come back with a level of clarity about the whole thing that you can't have now while you're entrenched in it.

I like the title btw

>>8737933
While you daydream about dimples, she swallows another man's semen.

Her jaw is slant, both pieces perched wide, apart.

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>>8737504
That could do, ı have seen architecture threads there before.

>>8731246
posts like this fucking suck, threads aren't pageants

I think I have some kind of depression but I don't want to go to a counselor

>>8738224
Cheer up

>>8730459
I wish I knew how to say no.

>>8738224
take MDMA

>>8737665
Thanks man. That makes sense

>>8738193
But it was what was on my mind, anon, so I wrote it down as per OP's suggestion. Perhaps if you were to start a thread such as this one, you could add a disclaimer like "No pageant posting pls"

It hasn't gone a day the last year without my daily musings ending up at her, but for the longest time I hated i. I hated how she had made her way into my mind, she was interfering even though I can count the number of conversations I've held with her on my right hand. Every time our eyes meet I can't think about anything but her for the rest of the day, so lucky me who get to catch her look several times a week. I still live on the moment our eyes locked when she caught me looking. How odd it was for me to have to break the moment, me who always had managed to keep my cool when a girl looked at me. But I couldn't bring myself to look back into her eyes, it felt as if I would taint her innocent way.

It was new and exciting how she made me feel, it was new and exciting to feel at all. And what a joy it is to feel! But I am in the wrong if I were to say that she is the reason for my feelings starting to peek out again. My feelings for her is the only thing I can point to and say 'She is what still made me feel, she is what made me feel human.', sadly she isn't the thing that brought my human side back. The thought of having lost my best friend is what delivered them back to me, but she is what keeps them with me. Although she is what I've wanted for so long now that we've opened up about our lives in general to each other I can't help but feel that I've gone too far and I want to take it all back.

All of my feelings are still raw and pure as those of a child's, just as I left them. But is the combination of these undeveloped feelings and my matured brain mixed with two years of continuous drug intake stable? I started taking drugs when my brain was still developing and my body still growing. I put a stop for my life before it had even begun and I ruined my body before it was finished. Together with my small isolated life I can't help but to think what my future holds for me. I keep telling myself that I'm in for one hell of a ride, but a ride that will circle around in my head for the next years. The question I ask myself every morning is if I can, as I've done with everything else in my life, do this by myself.

>>8738224
i read this as "cocksucker" which basically sums you up

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HOLY FUCKING SHIT I JUST TALKED WITH MY MOTHER FOR 15 MINUTES WITH MY HANDS COVERED IN CUM AND SHE DIDNT EVEN NOTICE

>>8738577
>SHE DIDNT EVEN NOTICE
more like she didn't let on

>>8738581
nah i TRIED TO TELL HER i almost burst out laughing when she entered the room and she kept asking me why

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>>8738577

>>8738591
>I TRIED TO TELL HER
4chan: full of normal people.jpg

>>8738600
what was i supposed to do
whats the normal thing to do when a parent enters your room and youve came all over your hands?
what do i have to hide anyway

>>8738608
why do you live with your parents?
why do masturbate in your room and not in the bathroom?

>>8738622
because im not american, live in the third world and enjoy having two kidneys

because im usually pretty clean, theres no computer in the bathroom and i had an itch

Mother wanted a girl all along and never showed any affection towards me during those 24 years.

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I've got pretty big arms these days. That's what building batteries does to ya. I don't mind. But also the skin is really damaged because of the lead dust and having to scrub it off multiple times a day, and my finger joints are all messed up and I sometimes can't open my hands when I wake up in the morning. Work was pretty chill this week desu. Only one night of suicidal thoughts and guilt feelings and two nights of excessive euphoria. The guy I work in a team with and moi do pretty well together. Sometimes we're finished ~3 hours before quitting time so we can just chill and drink some coffee. Last night we drank a Red Bull together. He always and only drinks energy drinks, it's cray desu. But he's a nice fella. Hella confident and good looking and very nice even to worthless ugly faggots like me. And he's very intelligent, not intellectual, but he really knows his shit in certain things and is always motivated to learn more, work hard, help others etc. I also admire how he has no ambitions except to have a decent job and to hang with his girlfriend. He does nothing, he doesn't party or anything, he just likes to be home with his girl and go to work and he's happy with that kind of existence. It's almost the exact opposite of what I want, but maybe that's the reason why I think it's admirable. He seems very solid and sure of himself. He's unusually well informed about politics too, which I wouldn't have expected.

Today was the last driving school lesson. I'm kinda sad it's over, BUT, we decided to meet up some time, except for one guy who didn't wanna. One of the girls there is from Leipzig, which is a nice coincidence because I've been thinking about this city a lot lately because a book I read took place there and it's really pretty and I went to the Slipknot concert there and etc etc. She's not a vegetarian but she used to be vegan for a year, and she told us about a vegan butchery in Leipzig. It's called "Vleischerei." "Fleischerei" is German for butchery but the F has been replaced with a V for Vegan. How clever. And that's where we're gonna go. We'll meet up and then go on a road trip to a vegan butcher in a nice city. It's like God wanted to make me a present. I'm looking forward to it, they were and are cool peeps.

>>8730512
Your whole life is a meme. I'm LOLing at u rn

>>8731833
Nokiss detected
You'll discover pretty soon that telling someone everything is terribly taxing and for both your and your partner's sake you'll learn to refrain

>>8733633
That's not what cucked means. Check urself be4 u shrek urself

>>8734576
Are you channelling the specter of dfw? 8/10 enjoyable read

Never heard of any salesman HIll.
Now he doesn't know the territory.
Doesn't know the territory?
What's the fellow's line?
Never worries 'bout his line.
Never worries 'bout his line?
Or a doggone thing. He's just a bang-beat, bell-ringing, big-haul, great-go, neck-or-nothing, rip-roarin', every-time-a-bull's-eye salesman. That's Professor Harold Hill, Harold Hill.

>>8735470
>virgin detected
Like truly, unironically 100% anyone would assume you are a virgin from reading this