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I feel such like a useless pathetic loser when reading or watching

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I feel such like a useless pathetic loser when reading or watching a movie. I'm consuming and not producing. All the good looking Instagram people and famous people on twitter and rich people and people are living the life yet I do nothing all day.

I hate being told that I have to read 9001 books or else I'm dumb.

My existential crisis is powerful. Almost all jobs are meaningless, even the rich or sought after ones. The only people I respect are STEM researchers but I did a shitty engineering degree and can't bear not being rich so I can't be a physicist or mathematician. Almost all jobs are worthless intellectually. Being a doctor gives only social capital, it is an unintellectual job. Even actors are big faggoty pretenders.

The reason women never have existential crises is because to them attention is like sex for men, so they are constantly orgasming everywhere they go.

Being unattractive makes my life harder than yours. I don't have the motivation to eat healthily at all. The only reason I'm not morbidly obese is because I go to the gym a lot and lift lots of weights but I only do it out of habit. I don't want to acknowledge habits or follow schedules or have long term goals because they take away my feeling of having free will.

I haven't read anything insightful or mind opening for a long time and have realised that philisophy consists of just flailing about in the space of unfalsifiable thoughts.
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>>8710846

so what are you gonna do about it
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>>8710846
back to your containment board you nigger

>>>/r9k/
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Where you from in the UK NEETbro?
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>>8710846
>All the good looking Instagram people and famous people on twitter and rich people and people are living the life

What are you doing in this board?
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>>8710846
don't feel guilty about reading or watching, only if you do it excessively and without being inspired to create anything that influences your creative outlet. You don't have to read the top 100 books, but building some knowledge or essence from them will help you.

Twitter and instagram models are faker than anything ever written in Dostoevsky or Bret Easton Ellis.

I don't think you've ever interacted with a woman and making assumptions read on greentext. Grow some balls and rage against the dying of the light
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>>8710871

OP here.

The people writing your books and working at publishers went to public (UK) / prep (USA) schools and then Oxbridge / HYP and live the easy life and write narcissistic barely disguised memoirs
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Save up, get plastic surgery, get laid, and enjoy life until you have another existential crisis.
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A despairing man is in despair over something. So it seems for an instant, but only for an instant; that same instant the true despair manifests itself, or despair manifests itself in its true character. For in the fact that he despaired of something, he really despaired of himself, and now would be rid of himself. Thus when the ambitious man whose watchword was "Either Caesar or nothing" does not become Caesar, he is in despair thereat. But this signifies something else, namely, that precisely because he did not become Caesar he now cannot endure to be himself. So properly he is not in despair over the fact that he did not become Caesar, but he is in despair over himself for the fact that he did not become Caesar. This self which, had he become Caesar, would have been to him a sheer delight (though in another sense equally in despair), this self is now absolutely intolerable to him. In a profounder sense it is not the fact that he did not become Caesar which is intolerable to him, but the self which did not become Caesar is the thing that is intolerable; or, more correctly, what is intolerable to him is that he cannot get rid of himself. If he had become Caesar he would have been rid of himself in desperation, but now that he did not become Caesar he cannot in desperation get rid of himself. Essentially he is equally in despair in either case, for he does not possess himself,he is not himself. By becoming Caesar he would not after all have become himself but have got rid of himself, and by not becoming Caesar he falls into despair over the fact that he cannot get rid of himself. Hence it is a superficial view (which presumably has never seen a person in despair, not even one’s own self) when it is said of a man in despair, "He is consuming himself." For precisely this it is he despairs of, and to his torment it is precisely this he cannot do, since by despair fire has entered into something that cannot burn, or cannot burn up, that is, into the self.
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>>8710846
>9001 books
>If you live for 90 years, that's 100 books a year
>A year has 50 weeks
>2 books per week
Anon, you're not fucking trying hard enough.

>>8710871
tfw the hair on the left side of his head
Thread posts: 11
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