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Aphrodite, my God, my Religion
I’ll always love you
I did lie
Pure lies
I believe what I said 100%
I would be so fucking happy if I fell in love with kyra
I would be so fucking happy if I fell in love with Anas
I would be happier if I fell in love with Monier
I would be happiest if I fell in love with my mother
But I fell in love with you
And I’ll be happiest in heaven after I die
Even if I went through eternity living my own hell on earth
I don’t love you
I fell in love with the Woman that you see when you close your eyes
I’m sitting in Anas’ bathtub naked, ice cold water running down my body
And you know how strong I am
And how much I care
And that everything I ever did was for you
Even when I told you to go fuck yourself
I had an erection for you
I never masturbated to you btw
I think I will right now
I’ll let you know if you asked me
I never lied to you
And I would lie to the while world but I could never lie to you
You know I could act, but I can never convince you of something that I don’t feel
I am mediocre
I raised my middle finger to the sky
And I would eat it, chew on it
Swallow it and keep it down
Before I allow myself to do that again
Look
I don’t need to tell you those things, deep down I believe that you believe me
Even if I was an ignorant dumb mute blind cripple
I know you could love you
You’re more pure than the virgin Mary
That is a pure lie, but you know I could mean it
If you went to hell I would put my finger in my throat
Throw up
Reattach my middle finger and raise it to the sky
I would go through hell from its begining to its end to find you
Knowing it’s a loop shaped like an 8
And I would keep doing it even if I knew I wouldn’t find you
Misunderstood, you’re probably right behind me doing the same, feeling the same, matching my pace
Waiting for me to give up and break down and kill myself a thousand times
And you would watch it all with a smile on your face
And an erection
Because you know all I need to do is to stop trying my hardest, give up, accept my fate and turn around to walk away just to see your sick twisted smile
Then, and only then we would have sex.
Because I would never touch you again if I had a single cell organism worth of doubt
Only then can we become Aphrodite
Only then can we become one
I never lied
I got a confession to make
Another pure lie which I don’t even understand
I wrote all then while I was taking a shit
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>No discernible talent
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>>8692353
8/10 would kms
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I never studied poetry, I wrote that poem without ever reading a book or relating to a poem
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>not posting in critique thread
get in line you jerk
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>>8692364
I'm new to 4chan, sorry
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I got more, should I post?
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Peaceful Scent
Heavenly scent I sniffed off my hand, a lot stronger than coke, a lot more addictive than heroin.
It was used as an excuse by an Angel to hold a human’s hands.
The Angel ignited my passion, my desire, and he liked what he saw, what he felt.
I saw the virgin mary in her.
By the end of the day when we were going home,
We said bye and almost turned around but we couldn’t.
So I came close, and whispered, “I have a new favorite drug, and I need my fix.”
I asked her to apply the scent on my hands once more,
She only did it on my left hand, I didn’t know why.
And on the ride home, I would sniff it every few minutes.
When I got home, he wasn’t there, and I kept sniffing it every other minute,
And it made me see her eyes.
It made me feel like she was right next to me,
She did it a few times afterwards, I’m not sure why but always on the left hand,
Actually, sometimes both hands.
But the left hand was more special.
She did it tonight,
And I left afterwards, and I kept sniffing it like an addict looking for a trace of heroin on the ground.
I went to a friend, he wanted to drink beer.
I hesitated thinking she might not like it, she wouldn’t ask me not to do it, she would tell me it’s my choice, but she worries.
But I did buy beer and I did drink with my friends,
And I kept sniffing it every now and then.
A friend of mine had hash and she hates hash,
SHE FUCKING HATES HASH.
But she wouldn’t ask me not to do it, she would tell me it’s my choice, but she worries.
And I did smoke up and kept sniffing it every now and then.
I got paranoid,
And it was bad.
I tried telling my friends about it,
I knew it was paranoia, I knew it wasn’t real, I knew it 100%
but it was still there
I was still paranoid
so I took a walk
And sniffed my new favorite drug
And it got me higher than any other drug
No fear, no doubts, no hate, no anger, nothing negative, nothing is negative.
And I saw our love story
and it’s potential
and it was beautiful
too good to be true
but I believe 100% that it will happen
I lost reality
I hallucinated
And I wasn’t scared
It was peaceful
Oh so peaceful
And when I wanted to snap out of it
I sniffed my favorite drug
And I did snap out of it
And I went back to my life, to my friends, and I loved every one of them
And I loved every person in the street
Those who I know, and those who I don’t know
I loved them all
I 100% loved them all
And I tried helping them, I tried to let them realize how good they are, and how good all people are
And I believe I reached every single one of them
Those who I talked to, and those who didn’t even notice I was there
It was all because of my new favorite drug
my peaceful addiction.
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>>8692359
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>>8692379
That's a good thing though, right?
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>>8692353
It doesn't rhyme and therefore it sucks.
P.S. All poems that don't rhyme suck. Their is no skill involved. You're just throwing up a bunch of words that could be said in a conversation but would sound retarded just like they do now.
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>>8692392
It really wouldn't hurt.
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This is slam poetry teir. Read a fucking book, idiot.
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>>8692388
sure, rapper.
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>>8692388
Did you even hear of Ginsberg?
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>>8692378
>The Angel ignited my passion, my desire, and he liked what he saw, what he felt.
>I saw the virgin mary in her.
Even though I'm a fucking cunt, that just so unbelievably gay. Just stop it.
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>>8692423
Fuck gender roles
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>>8692423
Right. Like the total absence of style aside, the content has clearly been written by an angsty man-child.
OP, please spend at least 3 years reading before you try writing again.
P.S. I don't think I related this clearly enough in the body of my post but your poem sucks.
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>>8692428
Fuck off to tumblr, faggot.
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>>8692432
It's not so much an angsty man-child and more someone who confuses his pubertal fixation on the holy fuckability off women with art.
OP, just give it time. You'll know what we mean in a couple of years. Use this time to fucking read someting ffs.
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>>8692458
Suggest books then, Novels, plays and poetry.
I'm in love with Ginsberg
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>>8692461
Did you even read the sticky?
http://4chanlit.wikia.com/wiki/Recommended_Reading
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>>8692464
>http://4chanlit.wikia.com/wiki/Recommended_Reading
No, thank you very much that's a great place to start from.
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>>8692473
Have fun with it.
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>>8692461
Literally anything. OP says he's never read anything so anyhere is a good place to start. You shouldn't need this much handholding.
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