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Anonymous
I've got a script I'd like to pitch for a skit 2016-11-03 17:38:00 Post No. 8688596
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I've got a script I'd like to pitch for a skit 2016-11-03 17:38:00 Post No. 8688596
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I've got a script I'd like to pitch for a skit
Anonymous
2016-11-03 17:38:00
Post No. 8688596
[Report]
Here goes:
Hillary sat at her desk, chomping on her fifth cigar that evening. The phone rang. “Benghazi? How many? How much time do we have?” She hung up the receiver and dialed the Pentagon. “Have my team ready and the Concord prepped within the hour.”
Five minutes later, dressed in nothing but a sports bra and her tighty whities, she layed her gear out in front of her. She began methodically gearing up for her mission. Camo Pantsuit? Check. Belt and Web Harness? Check. Grenades? Check. Assault Rifle? Check. Grenade Launcher? Check. She sheathed her polycarbonate knife and tied the bandana around her forehead.
Ten minutes later, she was on the runway. In front of her was Janet Reno, demolitions expert. Sonia Sotomayer was on the mini-gun. And Pelosi? Well Pelosi was just plain crazy. But there was still one missing.
“Wheres Nader?”
Reno spit her chewing tabacco out on the floor. “Hes on the plane.”
Bill drove up in his presidential limo. “Wait! Sweetheart, don’t go! Its suicide!”
Hillary frowned and said, “I’ve got to baby.”
“Oh, Hillary!”
“Give me some sugar, Bill!” She leaned him over and kissed him deeply, leaving him breathless.
On the plane, Nader was sitting on the plane with his arms crossed. “Long time no see.”
“You cost us the election in 2000,” Hillary said.
“The system is rigged!”
“That how the game is played, Ralph. Best get used to it.”
“Why… you!” Ralph raised a hand to slap her, but Hillary caught it. She leaned him over and kissed him deeply, before dumping him on the floor, breathless.
“Lets move out! That embassy is in hell right now, and they are counting on us to get them out!”
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>>8688596
(While the majority of the events at Benghazi were classified as top secret, the following transcripts have been made availible to the public)
Nader said, “We need reinforcements!” He fired his ak-47 into the crowd of technicals surrounding the embassy from the roof of the building, causing one of them to explode and send terrorist flying into the ai
Reno said, “Helicopter Evac is on its way!”
Hillary screamed, “Just hold out a little longer, I can hear the chopper on its way!”
As the rest began to evac, Nader pleaded with Hillary to come with them.
“No! I’ll hold the line here! You call in the air strike and evacuate the embassy!”
“But thats suicide!”
Hillary kissed Nader deeply. “I’ll be fine! Now go!”
Hillary grabbed Naders gun as he ran towards the helicopter. She fired into the crowd of terrorist below as they scrambled for cover. “You want some of this? Yeah! Come get some!” She unloaded her entire magazine into the technicals, causing several of them to explode, before throwing Nader’s AK to the ground and firing her under-barreled grenade launcher in rapid fire.
The helicopter began to life off as they could all hear the jet engines screaming. Hillary ran towards the helicopter as it lifted off the embassy towards the sea, the explosions from the missile airstrikes pummeling the embassy behind her. Her heart pounded as she ran and the final missile struck behind her, propelling her final jump towards the helicopter as she latched onto the rail. With one arm, she held on to the chopper while firing at terrorists beneath her, riding off into the sunset.
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what do think?
SNL worthy?
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Gaiz?
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>>8688596
humorous shitglobs
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>>8688596
anybody?
bueller?
ferris bueller?
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