ITT: Write your suicide note

Dear diary,
Today I killed myself.
The literal end.

See you, space faggot

For sale: my life, never lived.

>>8603222
Haha, I'd probably use this. Except in 4 letters:
C U S C

CRASH

>>8603157
I tried so hard

>>8603292
AND GOT SO FAR
BUT IN THE END
IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER

>>8603157
Why now? In the winter, it was to cold to jump outside.

>>8603157
Я пoкoнчил c coбoй и yничтoжил вecь миp.

>>8603157
Now, no enemies remain; except God, if I'm unlucky.

I was a sick man. I was a spiteful man...

>>8603184
Fpbp imo

>>8603300
Gotta love green day

I was truly looking for Alaska

>>8603348
That's Linkin park mang.

>>8603350
prove it

They told me it was impossible to masturbate to death... bet you feel dumb now don't you?

The truly enlightened suicide precludes writing a note.

"I have information that will lead to Hillary's arrest."

>>8603344
I know I've seen that somewhere. Do you mind sharing where that's from?

>>8603157
Hello Darkness my old friend.
I've come to talk with you again.

The hour of departure has arrived, and we go our ways - I to die,and you to live. Which is better God only knows.

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>>8603157
Dear reader, I have one final mystery that I leave for you. When a man's time is done on this earth and he must go to the great image board in the sky, it is said he makes one last literal shitpost. Look into my pants my friend... And tell me, did I soil my trousers in spite of you or in spite of myself? Farewell!

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>>8603351
4u

>>8603364
"Now, only one enemy remains; two, if you are counting God."

It's a meme, you dip.

>>8603379
>it's a meme, you dip.
I'm sorry, I'm not a local. I hail from /k/, and I know not your customs. Care to help a worthless tourist?

Shopping list:
Eggs
Milk
Toilet paper
Rope
Cereal
Jelly

>>8603392
reddit made a thread where they posted the opening lines to their novels and works


some dude un-ironically said
"only one enemy remained, two, if you counted god"

or some shit like that

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>>8603392

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>>8603495
bonus meme

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>>8603339

>>8603484
I actually like it desu. Modern rewrite of Lucifer?

>>8603350
I heard there's a raper in Linkin Park.

For serious tho I didn't realize how edgy the band name was that Serial podcast.

>>8603495
>>8603496
ewwwwww

>>8603157
I've gone out the window

>>8603499
The fact that /lit/ declined my offer to collectively translate the works of our Lord and saviour Letov, even though I know half of you niggers are slavs, breaks my heart.

>>8603543
Some is translated though, like http://lyricstranslate.com/en/russkoe-pole-eksperimentov-russian-field-experiment.html

>>8603543
Translations are a crime against literature, anyone who translates anything should be shot on sight.

>>8603556
>And the Father Lenin is absolutely dead
>He has divided into rubbish and a very good thing
My fucking sides.

Eh, some are alright, but they are mostly too literal.

>>8603362
why

>>8603600
Yeah, Russian Field of Experiments can use some fixing as well. One should probably make webm with songs and english subtitles to make them more accessible for westerners

minareden at beni
in aşağı tut beni

Kafka is overrated.

"I made you read this, faggot..."

>>8603615
What would you need a note for? Isn't a suicide note always the result of something unfulfilled?
I also claim that there can never be a truly enlightened discussion. We are all really Socrates', even if we don't know it. We're discussing in search of some "truth", again, even if we don't realize that this is why we are discussing. A being that is in itself completely fulfilled neither has a need for such a search nor does it feel any need to convince anyone of anything. Because I am not such a being, I cannot say for certain how it would be, perhaps it could speak enlightened words to us as a gift out of the goodness of it's heart or something, but never a discussion.
But to return to the suicide note: look at any suicide note and ask yourself why they thought they had to write that.

Guess shit didn't work out. Whatever.

Peace bitches.

I'm sorry Andrew, I should never have let you in. I'm leaving the ring with you. Thank you for everything, dearest! Be sure and donate the books, but send the journals to my mom. Here's the money for postage.

>leaving a note
>not realizing you will be assimilated into infinity after material destruction
>still caring about this world

>>8603849
It's not about whether you cared for the world or not. It's obvious someone didn't, if they killed themselves. It's about acknowledging that there were people in the world who cared for you.

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I called to God, He never answered back.

I called to you — you might as well have ignored me too.

Fuck you, goodbye.

>>8603339
World keeps spinning even if you die. This "The world dies with you" is normalfag talk.

You may be wondering why I did it.
Those thoughts are of no importance, compared to the one big question.
Why do kids love the taste of Cinnamon Toast Crunch?

>>8603886
How sad. You have clearly learned nothing of life. The one true big question is: How many licks does it take to reach the center of a tootsie pop?

>l8r

Do not let the body deceive you, I am not dead. This is all an elaborate ruse.

lol brb

>>8603350
Are you a retard, or just leveling

The calm,
Cool face of the river
Asked me for a kiss.

>>8603936
>morons who stick their tongue down your throat on the first kiss

>>8603800
Or, you know, something that won't leave your loved ones frustrated and confused.

>>8603947
U n f u l f i l l e d

>>8603894
That answer has been questioned. There was a mechanical tongue built just for that purpose. Can't remember the result.

>>8603886
The last thing you do on Earth is to show everyone how unimaginative you are. Spot on.

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>>8603157
This will be good enough.

Today I was so bored and empty I counted every time I breathed. This is a useless activity, so I decided to cease it.

>>8603979
Pretty uninteresting.

>>8603979
I would laugh at this

>>8603941
HUGHES BTFO

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>>8603157
''no more''

i love you mama, even though i have never called you that before

In the end, it doesnt even matter

"Bruh fuck this shit."

>>8603976
Shut the fuck up with your passive agressive, oh so witty reddit remark you retard. I bet you felt really smart there, where the fuck are you at anyway. Bet you're one of those "superior intellects" thst write one shitty book after another and ask theie family to buy it and leave a good review on amazon. Bitchboy acting like he's hot shit. "Spot on.", is almost as bad as "Meh.", if not worse. The only thing in your life, that's shining is your reddit gold, you weak laughing stock. Dear god, what do your parents think? Just obnoxious how you think you're oh so sophisticated, I bet you go into a cafe, place a book, some glasses and a cup of coffee, take a picture from a "cinematic" angle and post it on social media with the caption "There's nothing like a good book" or "I can't live without this". I bet anything you do weak, gay ass shit like that you fucking failure. Bet you imagine yourself as a hard boiled, noir writer when in fact you are nothing but shit. Either step your game up or fuck outta here.

"There's nothing wrong with my life, I just hate myself and I'm tired of it. Sorry I disappointed you guys."

I would do something gay like this

Don't throw my ashes anywhere embarrassing. Goodbye.

>>8603157
Leaving a note is pleb tier.

I'd leave behind some artistic work that was not directly related to my death. Might actually do this desu, I don't have the raw grief and pain that I used to but as time goes on I'm starting to question the point more and more. Everything I do is Kafkaesque, it just gets worse and worse.

>>8603369
Cool

>>8603157
Fuck this gay earth

Garbage time is running out.

This is my masterpiece

>>8603157
"fucc all you fucc niggas"

why, my peanus weenus of course

hahah!

it's my weeeeeenus peanus! hahah

>please excuse the mess

Do not cry, for I went willingly.
Do not cry, for I went full of bliss.
There are those who suffer, those trapped in futile lives. Their turmoil does not emerge within.
But is born in their circumstances.
They loved and weren't loved. They tried and failed. They desired but went unrequited.
For each and every one of their shortcomings I was blessed.
Or at least I believed myself to be.
I did not walk this path for a lack of choice.
I walked this path by stern intention. I walked with deep conviction.
Not all paths lead to their desired end. But rejoice, as so do I.
For I walked of my own volition. And I walked it to the end.
We are thrown into the ocean of life and told that we will inevitably drown.
Instead of concluding that, as long as we drown anyway, it won't matter where we do so, we start paddling like crazy. Flailing our arms and legs about in a desperate attempt to swim as far as we can.
To drown where no man has drowned before.
Far away,
alone and isolated.

I swam to where I wanted to be. And when I found nothing but vast ocean, I decided to sink.
I did not go with a burning passion for air in my lungs.
But with a tranquil want for water in my heart.

Eternally,
anon.
Didn't write one in ages. Thanks for that OP.

>>8604534
repost

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police ever catch me then they gon' catch a body

>>8603157
I'm Blue Da Ba Dee Die

Hey pops,

Guess we'll see each other sooner than I thought. I'm not really sure how this is gonna go, but I'm going to give it a shot.

Do you know why dad never told me that he loved me? I mean, sure, I was a fucked up kid but the way I'm acting now should maybe leave him with some compassion for me, right? No?

I wished you could have a conversation with 'this' me. I've changed a lot. I wish I would have visited grandma and you more often. She talks about you a lot. I visited her a few weeks back. It was nice. We had a cup o' coffee and a cigarette. She misses you a lot. I can see fingerprints on the photo of her and you standing in front of the TV. She caresses you, can you feel it?

You think my sister will be okay? My nephew too. I mean. That would probably be the only thing that would make me walk out to the toilet and force myself to puke. But I won't. This time I won't. This time mom won't find me on the floor. It's for real this time.

See you soon.

M

PS. To whomever is concerns. Give the guitar that I got from pops to my nephew.

Life is too exhausting. I can't do it anymore. I will make sure I get blood all over the note. Please send it to Hillary Clinton. She did this.

Sincerely, A Straight White Male.

>>8605004
this got me

>>8603374
obviously shooped

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The question I dread the most is probably, “What do you like to do?”
It can be summed up as “bum around on the internet, all day every
day”. I don’t really have hobbies, like reading books, playing sports,
photography, painting, programming, etc.
But there’s an emotional rut as well. I’m right in the middle on the
depression scale. Too depressed to change any aspect of my life (and
the way out involves personal change, no one can make my life better
for me, this isn’t some dumb Hollywood movie where the girl teaches
the main character how to enjoy his life), and not depressed enough to
kill myself.
Right now, it would be easy to commit suicide, because my mother went
to work and won’t be back home until tomorrow morning. Except it
wouldn’t really, because of a lack of reliable methods. I think there
was a study that, controlling other factors, determined that suicide
is higher in households with a firearm compared to households without
one. The reason is obvious. With a gun, all you have to do is shoot
yourself in the head. Everyone’s seen one movie with a scene like
that. Lacking a gun, there’s no easy way to commit suicide besides
maybe swallowing pills, and so you have to do research on what pills
to swallow. Then, on the internet, you learn that guffawing a ton of
pills is really damn painful, MAY not kill you, and will screw your
body up if you survive. People suggest stuff like inhaling gas, but
you need to buy a tank, a face mask, and other materials which are
impossible to get if you live with other people, like say, your
parents. I don’t know shit about slitting my wrists, or suffocating
myself, or jumping off a building or whatever. And it’s hard to trust
randoms on the internet, because who knows if they just lying to your
ass for the lulz. I mean, you know, there’s no one to ask BECAUSE IF
THE METHOD WAS SUCCESSFUL THEN THE PERSON IS DEAD
At the same time, as a person who is thinking about suicide but isn’t
driven towards it, it doesn’t make any sense. Would a truly depressed
person, one who is so down in the dumps with no hope in sight such
that they were driven to suicide, really give a shit about the method?
Wouldn’t they just find the highest building and jump off, because
living was more painful than the most painful suicide method?
That’s silly, though. Here I am musing about this crap. My parents are
preventing me from killing myself. More specifically, the fear of
depressing and disappointing them.
You spend precious time, money, and emotional energy raising a kid for
19 years, and he/she decides to kill himself/herself? How could you
not feel that it was your fault, ESPECIALLY if he/she insists that it
wasn’t in a suicide note or something? I don’t want them to feel bad,
or blame themselves.
The logical way to think about this is like this:
Me (alive)
-next-
Suicide
-next-
Me (dead)
STOP
When you’re dead, you’re dead dude. There’s nothing after you’re dead.

i had a bad day.
i'm not sorry.
Love you guys.
Forever,
yours.

>>8605004
I felt this

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>>8603157
I never had a girlfriend. I have no friends. I can't stop eating. I am mentally inept and have no future. Thank you everyone. If I hadn't killed myself like this, it's because I decided not to take you all with me. Thank you.

Come sweet death.

Well, ive contemplated suicide my entire life just like every other loser, but i thought i had supressed the thoughts by learning art and capital markets. Apparently, i failed so bye lol.

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don't look for my body, its at the bottom of the ocean.
give my books to Boaz.
give my writing to Deja.

sorry

goodbye

>tfw too intelligent for living

>>8603979
It's clearly not in black and white, fuckin dumb gook.

>>8605296
Gooks are colorblind, like ants

I have nothing to say.

Whatever I want to express but can't put in a concise and convincing matter,Medea said it first.

>>8603300
CRAAAAWLONG IN MY SKIN
THESE WOUNDS THEY WILL NOT HEAL
FEAR IS HOW I FALL
CONFUSING WHAT IS REAL

This whole life thing just isn't working out

I'm just gonna stop

2/10 life desu, would not relive

I tried so hard
and got so far
and in the end
it doesn't even matter

>>8605301
This actually isn't true. Many species of ant perceive color — some even more than mammals.

>>8603157

I will haunt the ever-living shit out of every single one of you.
Every disaster, tragedy and horror against humanity will be an act of justice personally carried out by my restless soul.

>>8605048
>>8605123
thanks guys

Et in Arcadia ego.

It was a good day, it was a bad day, yet still will come a day when I die.

Ded, not big surprise.

Posting my fucking masterpiece again.


-Suicide note found in a park in Fuknega prefecture-


When i was a small boy, i caught glimpse of the
spirit realm. I saw the ghosts busting their
spooky nuts on everything and everyone; and
they laughed, and were jovial at the fact of
our unawareness to their mischief.
They looked at me; looking at them.
They began to laugh, and they spoke
amongst themselves: ''Look, that one
can see us''. After this, i lost
the ability to see into the world
of the spirits. And i lived my life
and i was no different from anyone
else. But this was merely a farce.
For as i sat and looked upon my
friends, my family, and all that
i knew. I knew, i always knew;
The spirits were nutting on everything
that i held dear.-------------Goodbye.

>>8603184
fpbp

For sale: a shotgun, used onc

>>8603495
Only one enemy remained; only two if you counted God.*

Fuck off, jetlags.

>>8603228
Underrated

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>>8605527
Fucking kek

>>8603228
Made me kek, then sad

Mom,

Today was a bad day. The worst one in a while, I think. Its become hard to really tell the days apart. When I'm there I know, but a day or two later and they begin to blend together. It like everything has become the worst Jackson Pollock you've ever seen; all the colors are running on the canvas and mixing, its all a muddy brown.

I remember how you used to read me T.S. Eliot and other things before bedtime. I know I've said it before, but I really appreciate that. You're the only one who has been there for me. All my love I have to to give came from you. It is fitting then that the only thing I can harbor little animosity for is you. You and the material things that do not matter, all of which have brought me what little comfort I have had. I also remember you looking up at the stars with me, or exploring the woods, or sending messages on balloons to grandma. All my wonder at the world comes from you. Thank you.

This is not your fault. I can say this absolutely. You say I'm a very smart boy, so believe my authority on this if only this. You did your best, and it was worth more than anyone deserved.

I am sleepy again. My back and my legs and my head still hurt. But if all goes to plan, they won't hurt for long and I can finally get that good nights rest I've been longing for.

Give N my books and games, if she wants them. Do whatever you want with anything else.

Thank you ma. I'll tell grandma and great grandma you said hi.

Love you

R

Do people shit their pants when they die? You will soon find out...

>>8603157
Kept you waiting, huh?

>>8604240
Going to pull a John Kennedy Toole, eh?

>>8603157
Fuck this shit, I'm out

>>8603157
too hardcore for this world

Nobody understood me.
Fuck this world. Nobody gave me what I needed.
Don't feel sorry for me. Don't bury me. Fuck you all.

>>8603881
That's a quote, and the meaning of the original line was "to kill oneself (through) destroying the world"

HAMLET: O fuck.
(Exit HAMLET.)

- you said you'd follow me anywhere

I wish that I could turn back time, but now the guilt is all mine.

>>8606767
OPHELIA: My Lord!
HAMLET: Fuck off to a nunnery!
[They exit in different directions.:]

Well, this has been unbelievably boring, so I'm going to scout ahead. Cheerio!
(Exit stage)

>>8603332
>making an error in your shicide note

>>8603959
>a mechanical tongue

tell me more, this could postpone my suicide

I was to smart to live

>>8603721
At least nobody would mourn your passing shithead

>>8604522
wow so deep

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>>8605403
POW! HAHAA

>>8603157
peace out senpai *crying laughing emoji* *OK hand emoji*

*Write Masterpiece*

Hey fuckos. Guess what? Here's HALF of my fucking masterpiece I wrote! Guess where the other half is? Wouldn't you fucking like to know? Later!

du nuh nu nu nu and another one bites the dust

Has anyone really been far as decided to use even go want to do look more like?

>>8608881
ah, that brought me back.
I can't wait until 'vintage memes' are the in thing.
"What you never heard of Xbox360 kid?"
"Turn 360 degrees and walk away"

My note would probably be:
Damn medical system won't let me die and I'm too much of a wuss to spend he next five years with tubes up my ass.
I'm going to town, IN STYLE, I'll hit the pet shop.

There will be blood.

I'm not going to give you all the whole dramatic why I did this or I'm so sorry speech. I already know you idiots just want my shit. Just cremate my ass.

>>8604176
Not that guy, but I have a similar hatred in me that you in have in you.
Harness it, wield it and make it propel you, nay, force it to propel you into the 22nd century
We have a gift, brother, don't waste it on this trash

gg nore

>>8608902
**le tip**

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With trusting eyes
The children are shown
Minds open
Hearts true
Our spirit grows
The touch, the feel
The fabric of our lives.

The touch, the feel of cotton
The fabric of our lives.

>>8603157

It was just a prank, bro.

>>8603157
(I'd leave it to my good friend who helped me with my suicidal thoughts many times, sometimes unaware. The third line is an inside joke, but I think you'll get the picture)

Those days we would drink until the sun came up put things into perspective.
Thanks for holding this off for so long.

If ever you miss me, raise a whiskey. I'll be there in spirit.
Thank you.