OFF THE DOME

>>8595847
Schmanuel Balito was simultaneously blessed and cursed to have but one man who could be considered his nemesis. However, if one were inclined to include the Judeo-Christian deity in the tally, then his list of foes would suddenly double in size.

"rubbish" said david as he threw the magazine away "I like sports but i am not a freak"

"yes you are david , everyone in aberaeon knows you are only interested in rugby and bike racing."

The sight of blood made him vomit. That would add another layer to the crime scene, ruining whatever chance of evidence they'd find.

I should have realized he did it, right then and there. But in my kindness, I tried to empathize: the tool used to commit the murders was.....

Every creation that spews from my brain is genius and you'd be crazy to think I'd ever waste one ounce of my pearls on you swine.

I hope I die in here, because the only other option is to go back out there, and who knows what's waiting for me now.
I can smell the ocean when I breathe now.

The only testicles I'll attest to are the type I've tried to test with;
Is it the body of an old man I've been blessed with?

>>8595968
nice desu

>>8595968
Fucking kek

Are there more people here?
Yes. He paused. Why?
I don't think I can handle many more.

>>8595872
You thief.

File: Kingly.jpg (227KB, 331x400px) Image search: [Google]

227KB, 331x400px

>>8595847
>Once in a distant land was a lad by the name of Anon. E. Muss.
>One day, walking along a bog, Anon. E. Muss found a peculiar frog. The frog's name was Pepe, and promised a gift: If anon kissed him, by memes would anon be blessed
>Anon, by accident, slept with lady-boy in bed. Infatuated, he gave her Pepe's gift instead.
>The lady boy thus had become a man, and Anon, taken aback, had this response: "Lady-boy you were, man you are now. Fag you shall be until ADL."
>>Fag knew something happened, something uncommon, if it had a color it would be green as opposed to purple or gold. Kneeling and kissing his hand: "Let me follow you and spread your message", aside to himself "even though you have none", "to the ends of the earth."*

* this is the only one not by me, but it completes the story.

>>8595847
off the dome, I'm typing like a drone
No gf for me, I'm always alone
Life is miserable and filled with pain
No money in my pocket, going insane
I just want to kill people to extinguish my rage
Brain some fucking bankers, burn them in a cage
I want to swing my fist at a skinheads face
until they both become bloody and displaced
Strap a bomb to my chest and infiltrate the state
blowing the heads off of psychos would be real great
I wish a motherfucker would try to mug me, I do
Give emm the switchblade combo, the old 1, 2
My neighbors are morons, so I let the air out their tires
How swell would it be to start some neighborhood fires.
I hate everybody and I want to commit violence
can't wait till I get to that post-life silence

>>8595847
I've never once written in verse
Which is why you may find this quite terse
In finding a third rhyme
I always have a bad time
So check out these sick dubs

God, the light of the monitor burns my eyes.

>>8598503
no dubs

>>8598581
rip me

>>8598503
Once there was a man in great trouble
Because I went and burst his bubble
He liked things in twos
But he had been rused
I had stolen the poor mans doubles

The people died as blankets deserve to. Wall bedpost pins
I'm scared. The rain wont stop, the power's out, i'm alone. The wind is getting louder. My dog is here. At least it loves me. I call my dog it because i'm not attached to it. I call you by your name. You arent here. The wind is howling. It's knocking on the door. Matthew is looking in the windows. The rain is somehow getting in the chimney. Help me. The storm is eating my alive. The house isn't protecting me- i'm trapped in it. It's a coffin. I want to get in my car and drive into the lake where there's less water

>>8595968
Nice.

I have no thoughts novel enough to warrant writing. If I have a thought it's value is lessened by the fact that the thought was assigned to me.

There once was an OP on /lit/
who thought his thread would be legit.
But to his surprise,
it got crap for replies,
because anons can't write for shit.

inb4 my post is itself evidence for that last line

>>8598503
I notice that poets new to writing
Like to sing about their own bad rhyming.
Sadly enough, English is my second tongue
To me even more does finding rhyme take very long.
So let's now switch to free verse please
It would bring everyone so much ease.

>>8598748
Ten/Ten

>>8598768
There once was an anonymous poster,
who should've left his gun in its holster.
Not being a native speaker
is just an excuse for the weaker,
ironically I can't think of a good closer.

>>8598977
A poster became my aggressor
He thought he was being quite clever
For he made his post
Took what I wanted most
Those doubles for which I'd endeavored

>>8598503
>>8598672
>>8598748
>>8598768
>>8598977
>>8599007
Can limerickposting pls be a thing?

>>8599007
If on rhymes you wish you had coasted
I'll offer you some once you're roasted
You managed to rhyme just twice
While whining, you missed the device
You should go back to bread and butter... toasted.

This might sound a little bit cheesy,
But they call me McMeme McCheesy,
I post Pepe all day
With courage and whey,
Then drive off in my Lamborghini

OP HERE PLEASE STOP POSTING LIMERICKS!!!!

>>8597065
this is actually really funny

There once was a woman in the Maldives
Who sat with her son at a Wendy's
The brat spit out his tea
And gave a great 'REEEEEE'
And said 'I just want my chicken tendies'

>>8599007
I'm so sorry for taking your digits,
confrontation really gives me the fidgets.
I was just having some fun,
but now I am done
shitposting with you mental midgets.

>>8599169
But limericks are so fun to write,
I'm sorry if you think they're a blight.
I advise you to try it,
before you criticize it,
and surely you won't stop all night.

>>8599169
>>8599342

By the way, I had a thread a while back where I asked for help writing a limerick about a hot dog for a job application. There was sone pretty good stuff in there. I'm gonna try and locate it in the archives.

>>8599169
One night there asked an OP
To create and post some OC
But the flaw in his plan
Was he was on 4chan
So we posted limericks ironically

>>8599136
>>8599169
There once was a fellow named Joyce
Whose prose was absolutely choice
But his dirty mind
Was obsessed with behinds
And Nora's farts made him rejoice

File: 1418116714624s.jpg (7KB, 250x187px) Image search: [Google]

7KB, 250x187px

>>8599348
Turns out it was actually a short-lived and pretty shitty thread. Here it is if you want to see it anyway.

https://warosu.org/lit/thread/S5837494

Pic related was part of the application as well, and there is another funny pic from in front of the dive bar I frequented at the time in the thread, too.

>>8599366
Highlights (all but the last are mine):

There once was a hot dog named Frank
who liked to sip on that drank.
This pissed off his boss,
so he stopped hitting the sauce,
and he has Bill W. to thank.

There once was a hot dog named Frank
whose breath was really quite rank.
He found his only need
was some good good weed,
and now his breath smells dank.

There once was a cat named Kitty,
who was so ugly that it was a pity.
A hot dog came along,
and passed her the bong;
now she don't give a fuck.

There once was a hot dog named Jim
Unclothed, he was really quite slim
But soon he got sued
Can you believe it? A food.
'Cause there already was a Slim Jim™

>>8599351
+1

>>8599155
It seems that you misunderstand
I am a simple minded man
For if I was not
You could bet a lot
I wouldn't shitpost on 4chan

Woodland man of the maples and of the pines
and mountains, snow-capped beyond the timberline
Woodland man of great lakes and plains
cold clear waters, and glowing golden grains

What happened between those days and now?
Woodland man explain this wretched welter!
What infirmities have you allowed,
To arrive where you are from where you were?

There was once a virgin from Whitecastle
Whom the men always would hassle
But when a fine fellow walked by
For an hour, she obliged
And now she has the town's biggest asshole

I'm having a great fucking time, give me something to write a limerick about

>>8599448
Gay anal sex

There once was a man named Angus McHanley
Who'd brag, boast, and show off his feats, so Manley
But he was out of luck
He was proven to be a cuck
Who had more dads than late Modern Family

>>8600472
On 4chan, there once was a man
Whose rhymes I thought were bland
He thought himself a genius
While his wife sucked Chad's penis
And made him use his hand

>>8595872
Divinity..... I require further extrapolations.....

I've developed headaches that bring about a sensation of my head being hollowed out. The pain is not sever, but it is a slow and creeping pain that reaches greater heights with each passing day. I wish the cluster or cells clinging so desperately to my bones would all stop communicating and just let me rot already. I don't like this.

>>8600458
While I can't say I know much about it
I will not allow myself to quit
I'll write about sodomy
Though it seems to me, honestly
Wrong to fuck dudes from where they shit

Again the glass elevator. Glancing up he notices a blinking red light, was it blue last time? Eighth floor again. Slowly leveling his eyesight, five figures, blurry faces like always. He sees the woman again. He knows it's her because of the red hair. The scent of sunflowers spills from her, invading the space. The others disappear. It's just him and her. His heart tenses, then his eardrum rings, there's a pressure. There's banging. "OPEN.. THE," Jim can't discern anything else. The sunflower woman turns around and grabs him by the lapels. Relaxed, aroused; she's holding him closer than ever before. "OPEN THE DAMN DOOR," she yells directly in his face. Jim opens his eyes unable to move for a split second. The scent of sunflowers in his room now, quickly displaced by the dirty clothing in the corner. The banging gets louder. He rushes to the door.