>Applying for campus study tour this spring. Focus is WWI
>Letter of intent to convince them I'm worth taking (20 others are interested/applying, only 12 can go)
Dear Members of the Selection Committee:
My name is (Disclosed), and I'm very enthusiastic in regards to the opportunity to participate in the study tour provided by (Disclosed)'s Department of History this spring. I believe that as someone as interested in war-time history as myself, and the passion for travel, that I would make an ideal candidate for the program.
I've been passionate about seeing the world since I was young, and it has always been apart of my soul. Researching my family's strong Germanic roots have inspired my desire to travel outside of the United States, primarily Western Europe. My family never traveled internationally when I was young, which is what strengthened my thirst for adventure today. I took it upon myself in these past few years to travel on my own, and experience as much as I can from the world around me. So far, each experience has been an eye-opening one, and I'd love to have this experience under my belt as well. The world has so much to offer that so many few are able to take full advantage of and fully appreciate.
Since a young age, the concept of war was always curious to me. What makes one fight for their country? Politics? Patriotism? To protect one's family and values? For many years I've been absorbing as much as I can through documentaries, books, novels, seminars, and other forms of media. I've collected war-time armaments from the first and second great wars. To hold a piece of history is a chilling secrecy; what kind of person produced this item back home, who carried it into battle, or who might have died by it is a story lost to time. However, to be able to see it without the filter of a camera lens or a television screen is something I've only dreamed of.
The opportunity to take part in this study tour would expand my mind more than anything that I've experienced before.
>What can I add to this?
>What should I add to beef up the last paragraph? I know I need to add more, but how do perfect this closer?
>Would it read easier if I swapped the second and third paragraph?
>Any help in general?
>and it has always been apart of my soul
>apart
>a part
Also,
>Since a young age, the concept of war was always curious to me
It sounds odd, I'd try something like
>Since a young age, war had sparked a certain curiosity that hardly anything else could attain
Also,
>What kind of person produced this item... who might have died to its story lost with time.
^ this should end with a question mark
Good luck, OP. I think you might have a good shot.
>>8587627
>>Since a young age, war had sparked a certain curiosity that hardly anything else could attain
I dunno. How about
>Since a young age, there was a deep emptiness inside of me, that no amount of masturbating to anime and incest piss orgies, or breaking into homes to steal women's underwear could fill. I know now that this emptiness is my longing for the horrors of WWI.
>>8587740
there really aren't any mature boards
>>8587740
Mature post, asking for someone to edit your appeal for a trip we don't give a fuck about.