Lit Major Falling

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Kill yourself, my man.

>>8586930

At least that's some advice. Any good books on that? Thanks

>>8586923
>lit major
>in there late 20s
>people wondering about

Be cool, stay in school

>>8586970

Sorry, I am tired and wrote very quickly.

>>8586923
That's understandable. Even being a senior it's pretty intimidating to be around freshmen sometimes.

http://www.ecatholic2000.com/stjohn/ascent14.shtml

Are you ESL? Anyway, there's not much you can do about it except "face your fears." Coming into contact with people more, talk to strangers, force yourself tonget acquainted with someone in your class. Be the furthest thing from yourself as possible. I'm late in going back to school also, and I have a kid, but I feel like it gives me things a little more in common with the professors. I have easy conversations with them unlike when I was 19 myself.

>>8587021
*to get

>>8587021
A kid? How did you fuck up so badly?

>>8587152
Not him. I have three children and while sometimes frustrating, i have found it to be quite fulfilling. I find myself rushing home from work to have extra time to play with them and spend time. I don't understand why people are so scared or self-centered as to not want children.

>>8586923

So basically, you figured out you're nowhere near as brilliant as you thought you were, found out you're just as much of an outcast as you were in high school, and determined that there's nobody you can relate too even though I'm sure you haven't actually tried talking to people and making friends.

Yeah, instead of like trying new things, and maybe changing some things about yourself, seems the best thing to do would be to drop out and bitch on the internet about how cruel the world is for the rest of your life.

>>8587200
He has a child and is a manchild. I think that anon is expressing wonder at how someone with that much responsibility could be so developmentally retarded.

>>8587200

The type of people that are self centered seem to have children

>>8586923
Don't drop out my man.
Hang in there. Can you not deal with solitude at all?

Anyway, here's my story if that makes you feel any better :
Last year I had quit my master's program in chemistry after suffering from heavy depression (and also, I hated chemistry, long story).
Anyway, I finally wanted to study something I would enjoy so I enlisted for the last year of bachelor's degree in English but it basically meant that I had to follow classes with 20 year old students (I'm 26) so I felt pretty much like you, thought I would have nothing in commun etc.
Yes, I had a somewhat shitty year on the social level. Mostly kept to myself, had anxiety issues, avoided people and so on and so forth. But that allowed me to get excellent results (1st of my class, granted it's a shitty uni but still it was somewhat rewarding given my recent failures).

Now I'm doing my master's and people are somewhat more mature and less stupid, I've started socialising a lot, having a lot of fun discussing serious topics with a light mood, even partying etc.
Getting a life back.

Sorry about the blog post

Tl;dr Be patient, OP. There's no fatality. Give yourself at least a year. If you can't have friends, focus on your studies. Eventually, opportunities will present themselves if you keep your spaghetti in check

>>8587342
>>8587021

thanks for the advice I will try

>>8587253
The ones that use their children as trophies i would agree.

>>8586923
First things first: see a doctor. You seem to suffer from depression, anxiety, or something similar. At the very least explore your options-- if you're not taking care of yourself it's that much harder (if not impossible) to make good decisions in your life. Don't sabotage yourself due to something that you can work on. No one is going to force you to take medication if you don't want to.

Unless you're going to be fucked by massive amounts of debt and you don't think it'll be worth it at all, I'd stick with college. Even a random humanities degree will put you a leg up in the world (or, if you're pessimistic, you can consider it the bare minimum), and you'll likely experience a lot of personal and intellectual development. I wouldn't expect to end up rich, but if you enjoy learning about literature I would follow that passion. No one really gives a shit if you're older. If you're worried about not connecting with your classmates, start visiting your instructors and professors during office hours and attending events in your department/major of interest.

Good luck. Stick with it.

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>>8586923
I'm a literature student as well in my late 20's. I find it pretty easy to associate and speak with almost everyone in my classes. Very rarely does anyone actually come through as showing his or her age during a conversation or speaking during discussion topics. My guess is the age gap isn't an issue as much as you being socially inept is an issue. I don't say this in a mean way, but you probably know deep down that it's true.

Try baby steps. Join a club on campus and work on your small talk skills. Being social and approachable takes practice like anything else. Whatever you do, don't drop out. You'll have wasted your time.

>>8586923
I mean you are romanticizing the college experience, one closed to someone in their late 20s. Why not just go to class and keep to yourself and get a degree

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>>8586923

>Lit Major Falling

Studying Lit, there is your first prob'lemmo.

>It frightened me too much as someone in there late 20s hanging around 19 year olds.

Boo, hoo, welcome to the real world kiddo, college isn't some split up public education school system where usually only ages x through y have contact, your gonna meet people WAY past their lat 20's hanging out with younger people, happened when I was in college, had an old lady hang out with us in between classes sometimes. You sound kinda pampered and I bet you have baby hands that have never done any real work.

>No one to converse with similar ideas and interests. If there is I don't know where they are, I feel too small in the large open campus and too introverted to make my way and sift through the many people wondering about that seem at least moderately happy. Happier and friendlier than I.

You come off as one of those people as, "I am social, but I can't be social because of other people". I'm also really getting a deep under-tone tinge of SJW self-righteousness going on here.

>Do I travel around the world and write on my own?

Why and how?

>I can barely leave my house every other day though, its getting worse. How can I have self guidance?

Sounds like depression, get help, no meme puns intended.

>I feel like I need people to constantly hold my hand but I have very few of these wonderful people in my life. I don't want people to hold my hand though, independence seems like a far off goal. Not even autistic, I just feel like I am regressing back to child. I don't want to feel lost and scared.

Do research, find associate degree that pays well, go to comm. college, get that, then work and get independent. If you wanna go to finish up your Bachelor's, then you'll already have your Associate degree. Do writing on side as hobby.

>Can someone help? In anyway. What books show a similar situation perfectibility non fiction. And all honesty I just want to read and write but becoming a writer in a world of them seems daunting. Is it okay to think writing will make me happy when in the back of my mind I know it wont. Selfish is what I think of myself when that's all I want. Does medication help? I think if the chemicals in my brain fake me being happy I could actually accomplish something but I do not know. Sorry for the rant I know not personal blog, I have never done this before.

Therapy??? I would begin at a comm. college FIRST, drop it NOW, before you incur a shit ton of debt. With a degree that is barely useful in ANY industry, change your major. Any moron can write a story, or write an email, this isn't the old age of illiterate fools. Do writing as a hobby, I was an art major and switched quickly when I got my head out of my ass and went for something more useful and realistic. Keep your feet on the ground.

Cont.

>>8588303
where's the rest fuccboi

>>8586923
If you can stick it out until grad school, you'll find the people more focused and interested in the subject when you get to your graduate studies. Just how it is. I was an undergrad art major and my department was full of people who never even took art in high school. Depressing as hell.

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>>8588352

Ignored, as should be fag.

>>8588303

As for OP, here is the rest.

>Cont.

Honestly, it sounds like you need to step back and figure out what is going on and what you would like to do, while realistically having a job after you get out of college.

Have a family friend whom has her Bachelor's in Fine Arts and let me tell you, I've seen her shit and it's SHIT, but she does MLP DA tier shit, and I mean like, bad MLP DA tier shit and she is 60k + in debt with little to no classical art training (terrible drawing skills, color theory, values, perspective, etc.) other than that weird ass new age experimental shit. She was all disillusioned about making a web-comic that would turn into a movie, and now she is regretting all of this and kicking herself in the head, wishing she would have gone into nursing like her parents and friends told her.

Other people I knew back in college went for, art majors, writing majors and photography. They are ALL except for one, doing something unrelated to what they studied, one is working as a risk management advisor for Sprint (animation major), another is unemployed and working as a manager (lit major), another is driving semis locally (art major), and so on and so forth. Only one that actually got a job in something related was photography.

The point of this all being, go into college more for a job than a dream, when going to college. College is for getting an education that can lead to a job usually or a better paying one. Focus on another degree area. Don't listen to these fools telling you to stay in Lit Major, change your major to something that has high employment rates and that pays good, accounting, nursing, med. field, etc. (Do your research, take a personality test, etc.)

It will save you so much heart ache.

Btw, go to comm. college first, get your basic AA out of the way, then transfer, went to comm. college and it was cheap as dirt, and it is recognized by all other uni. and other colleges I've applied to.

You don't need to be a Lit Major to write or write a book, if that is your goal, idk what your goals are. Like I said, take a step back before committing to debt and college and figure out what YOU want to do realistically.

>>8588032

This anon gets it.

>>8588409
Community college is fucking great. But be careful with the associate's degree route. At my college, there's a path solely for transfer students who wish to attend a four-year university and those associate's programs don't get all the credits they need for transferring. Be sure to meet up with your advisor when selecting your courses.

>>8588409

>another is unemployed (art major)

Typo.

>>8586923
I think I can relate to your feelings brother. There is a certain resignation in believing depression is only due to chemicals that I abhor and advise people to accept with the greatest caution. I feel a sort of admiration for your openness and the least I can do is offer my thoughts.

I have not known the dejection you suffer for a long time, not because I have any friends or a girlfriend (the only consistent people in my life are my parents and siblings, I am in my mid twenties by the way) nor because I have any real reason to be as content as I am, considering I have very little going for me. Yet I am absolutely glad with every moment and sincerely grateful for everything that I have. I think this incredible perspective is the direct result of faith and love in God.

I think depression, to some significant extent, is the result of a sort of spiritual distress. I say this because my choice to resign myself to the will of God is the only noticeable difference between my life now and when I was prone and victimized by depression. Actually, I really believe I have more reason to be depressed now because back then I used to lift, I was dating, and I did not live with my parents as I do now. I would not trade my life now for what I enjoyed then as a spiritual vagrant, shrugging my shoulders at the thought of religion as so many men do now, because of the sense of serenity which I cannot very well explain besides by saying I love life because it is the creation of God, to whom the entirety of my love is directed.

I apologize if this sounds lame or abstract, but I genuinely believe that the solution to your problem-and all emotional, existential problems men face-is a devotion to God. This of course is not something that can spontaneously occur but I am absolutely convinced that if you open your heart to Him, the path will be set for you, in spite of your incredulity or hesitation. I have been set on this path as a result of years of reflection and reading, but I hope you'll excuse the cliche when I say if good things do not come easy, the best things will surely come with considerable difficulty. I'll give you a few works, off the top of my head, that helped me.

The Brothers Karamazov
Confessions of St. Augustine
Spinoza's Ethics
Robinson Crusoe by Defoe
Bhagavad Gita
Man's Search for Meaning by Frankl

I hope if nothing else, these book recommendations are useful to you. I am a Muslim but these works brought me closer to my faith than the Quran because they introduce ideas as opposed to commands and instructions; with the former one may grapple for as long as necessary until certitude, one way or the other, is formed.

A doctor will medicate you, which will effectively suppress the supplications of your soul. Learn from your depression and reflect. Do not give up and I truly hope all the best for you. I will check on this thread again sometime to see if you respond with a question.

>>8588485

Very insightful, thank you very much for these words. Makes me feel better for the moment and because of this I think sleep will come much easier tonight than a long time. I will take your words to heart and start the brothers karamazov soon as I have wanted to read it sooner rather than later

>>8586923
>he doesn't talk with pofessors and phd students instead of his peers

Meds can help too if you feel serious depression/anxiety.

>>8588626
read the Avsey translation

>>8588485
>>8588626
I have found Buddhism to be a great path to the concept of spirituality that the poster above was talking about. It cuts through anxieties like a hot knife. Meditation and study help to quiet the mind while realizing you're not "supposed" to be doing anything but living.
The first book I read on the subject was Way of Zen by Watts, but Mindfulness in Plain English is also a great introduction. Buddhism is also cool because you do not have to place your faith in a God per se, but yourself and nature.
I wish you the best OP