Are you a bookworm, /lit/?

Real bookworms don't hold books by the spine otherwise you risk bending or putting unnecessary weight on it.

i will put my worm in her book if you catch my drift

nah i'm a vidya slug

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Anatomy of a real bookworm:
>Massive stack of western canonical works you dont have time to read that glare at you as you finish them one by one.
>$4 bottles of wine
>cheap cigarettes
>unwashed dirty hair
>room looks like Beethoven's outhouse
>expert at talking about books hes never read
>virgin
>bitter and angry at the world
>hates everything
>no hope for a better future
>thinking about buying Jerusalem or bottoms dream knowing he wont get to them for at least 2 years
>is actually severely depressed but makes jokes about it so people think hes only ironically fucked in the head
>drinks absinthe and uses acid and shrooms occasionally, thinks he will learn something great from it but never really does.
>attempted to write a book but never got past the first few pages, as he would decide its not good enough and trash it.

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>>8523835
>expert at doing things one handed

Check one at least

>>8523840
eh looks like its genre trash.. no harm done

>>8523835
No, I'm a book reader. I hate nerds.

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>>8523854
well that hits close to home

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>>8523840
Real bookworms chew through books.

Real (figurative) bookworms devour books with casual indifference to their bindings.

Book fetishists read to be noticed reading and treat their books with extravagant care to maintain a beautiful presentable shelf.

>>8523854
leave me alone

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This is what she's reading btw

No, I'm just a worm.

>>8523840
That only bothers me with my rare books. There's no reason to be overprotective of a $5-15 softcover.

>>8523889
Now, the big question, has there actually been a movie?

>>8523854
I personally find it very difficult to read while angry or depressed. Also, I don't imagine you'd have much time to read if you're taking hallucinogenics.

>expert at talking about books hes never read
>thinking about buying Jerusalem or bottoms dream knowing he wont get to them for at least 2 years
Well there it is : you aren't a bookworm, you're a pseud.

>physical phooks
>dates
>deameaing of owning a house
>dreaming of owning anything
>dreaming
>tumblr

no. get out.

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>>8523835
Wow that is SO me!

My biggest problem with this picture is that her "too-read" stack is labeled as being books 1-7 of a series, presumbly she must be reading the 8th book, as the spine has the same title, so either she hasn't read the previous books in the series, or she just leaves a bullshit stack of already read books around to make it look like she's a booknerd. Either way I would fuck her.

>>8523898
Are you a doctor?

How do dates at book stores or libraries even work?

>>8524159
Bookstores have coffee shops. Not really a full date, but "Let's grab some coffee" works I guess

Libraries almost never have that, but I know at least one that does within driving distance--too far to ask someone out to, though.

>>8523835
I am an expert at doing things one handed

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>>8523835
>books on top of a chair

Post more lit cringe so I can feel better about my worthless life

>>8523876
You don't NEED to be a careless slob to be a "real bookworm". I read all the time, but handle my books delicately and have a neat, presentable bookshelf. In fact, my whole apartment is very clean and orderly. The two traits are not incompatible.

>>8524179
>>8524192

Are you a wiggly worm?

A wiggly wriggly writhing wormy worm?

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>>8523835
>expert at doing things one-handed (ability to walk without glancing up)
>line pointing at feet

???

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>>8524197
Good post

>>8523840
I've never actually figured out what people are talking about when they go on about book spines and proper handling.
I hold books in every which way and they never seem to break or tear apart.

I watch much more anime than I read. I think the concept of the bookworm is ridiculous posturing. The average bookworm just reads bad genre fiction and think being able to speed through that is somehow meritable.

I even write more than I read.
>>8524166
>'omg i love coffee'
>uses an electric drip coffee maker with pre-ground Starbucks coffee, or just buys the same thing but with queer flavorings from the chain

>>8524159
it's never been real dates but whenever i hang out with female friends from back home we get lunch and hang out at the used book store
it's got a great combination of good books to actually read and good books to make fun of the titles/covers of

also for that matter old book smell > new book smell

>>8523854
anatomy of an actual non-pseud bookworm
>kindle or other ereader
that's it faggots

>>8524234
Coffee is the purest of all ideology. It's replaced cigarettes

>>8524247
No you see, now you've fallen into the cuck trap

>>8524247
i don't like reading off a screen

>>8524229

It's the creasing which can be a worry.

Although I oftentimes read in the bathtub for hours so I don't do my books much good by getting the occasional waterspot on a page or two.

>>8524258
>occasional waterspot on a page

It's the worst that can happen to any printed medium, it gets all puffy and shit

>>8524249
It's awful because I've been putting like 15 minutes a day into just making one batch, every day for about a decade, and have my own methodology and everything. Then these kids come out and call themselves experts for paying ridiculous prices for weak chain coffee.
And flavorings, since they think coffee is bitter

>>8524264
Literally no one cares you slut

>>8524272
I'm not a woman you batsard

>>8523854
>Massive stack of western canonical works you dont have time to read that glare at you as you finish them one by one.
yes
>$4 bottles of wine
don't drink
>cheap cigarettes
don't smoke
>unwashed dirty hair
nope
>room looks like Beethoven's outhouse
my room looks like shit
>expert at talking about books hes never read
I don't talk to people
>virgin
yes
>bitter and angry at the world
yes
>hates everything
yes
>no hope for a better future
correct
>thinking about buying Jerusalem or bottoms dream knowing he wont get to them for at least 2 years
nope
>is actually severely depressed but makes jokes about it so people think hes only ironically fucked in the head
true
>drinks absinthe and uses acid and shrooms occasionally, thinks he will learn something great from it but never really does.
no
>attempted to write a book but never got past the first few pages, as he would decide its not good enough and trash it.
very true

>>8524287
you write like a woman, whore

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>>8524254
>electronic ink
>screen
>plot twist: he's reading off a screen right now

>>8523835
No. I sort of used to be, when I was in high school, but then I started partying and working and that part of my life/brain just kind of withered. I got an impulse a few hours ago to start reading again and just spent $150 on books.

>Art of War
>The Call of Cthulhu and Other Weird Stories
>The Prince and Other Writings
>The Origin of Species
>Paradise Lost
>The Drawing of the Three
>The Big Picture - Sean Carroll
>Wealth, Poverty and Politics - Thomas Sowell

Did I do good, /lit/?

>>8524290
>Coffee is the purest of all ideology. It's replaced cigarettes

l o l

>>8524298
>>plot twist: he's reading off a screen right now

>he doesn't print off the 4chan threads for future reading

>>8524303
I was with you until le intellectual negro of the free market

>>8524249
+1

>>8523854
>Massive stack of western canonical works you dont have time to read that glare at you as you finish them one by one.
Sure
>$4 bottles of wine
More than that, cheapest I'll go is $10 and that's for casual cooking
>cheap cigarettes
Nope
>unwashed dirty hair
I don't wash my hair often because I've adopted alternative ways to clean myself (other than showering). I use a pomade though, so I like to wash that out before bed. Keeps my hair clean.
>room looks like Beethoven's outhouse
Wife keeps it clean
>expert at talking about books hes never read
Damn right
>virgin
Nope
>bitter and angry at the world
>hates everything
>no hope for a better future
To all three of these: I am generally extremely positive.
>thinking about buying Jerusalem or bottoms dream knowing he wont get to them for at least 2 years
I don't read meme literature.
>is actually severely depressed but makes jokes about it so people think hes only ironically fucked in the head
No, depression is an illusion
>drinks absinthe and uses acid and shrooms occasionally, thinks he will learn something great from it but never really does.
Hell no, furthest I'd go would be a weak opium tea.
>attempted to write a book but never got past the first few pages, as he would decide its not good enough and trash it.
I have two books complete so far.
>>8524290
>you write like a woman, whore
You write like a woman, batsard

>>8524310
What did he to do you?

>>8524308
dont ever talk to me again

>>8524323
He's just your average spineless "everything is as it should be, go back to work" conservative.

>>8524343
If the average spineless "everything is as it should be, go back to work" conservative is Thomas Sowell, than they must be doing something right.

>>8524343
You forgot the bonus that he gets to be used as a sock puppet to espouse the cliched drivel about black culture that whites would be called racist for

>>8523854
>Mostly have Eastern canon
>Don't drink
>Don't smoke
>I'm hygienic
>I'm clean
>Probably only one a yes to
>Non-virgin
>Generally happy with lot in life
>don't hate much
>have a pretty good life ahead
>don't have plans to buy either one
>no mental illness
>no drugs or drinking, again
>not a writer

So I'm a lit grad student but not a bookworm, somehow.

>>8524369
>Mostly have Eastern canon
disregarded post

>>8524234
>uses an electric drip coffee maker with pre-ground Starbucks coffee

This is how you should do coffee. Drinking anything other than black shitty coffee that takes two minutes to make is for girls/fags.

>>8523854
>>Massive stack of western canonical works you dont have time to read that glare at you as you finish them one by one.
no
>>$4 bottles of wine
no
>>cheap cigarettes
god why are people so terrible at enjoying death
>>unwashed dirty hair
it smells of a fruit i'm not sure isn't made up. you know the ones
>>room looks like Beethoven's outhouse
no and historically inaccurate
>>expert at talking about books hes never read
'i haven't read it' got one right
>>virgin
no
>>bitter and angry at the world
it can't help it
>>hates everything
readings okay
>>no hope for a better future
>hope
>>thinking about buying Jerusalem or bottoms dream knowing he wont get to them for at least 2 years
i don't think the jews are looking to sell, but has anyone priced this?
>>is actually severely depressed but makes jokes about it so people think hes only ironically fucked in the head
you gotta admit that's comedy
>>drinks absinthe and uses acid and shrooms occasionally, thinks he will learn something great from it but never really does.
not for the taste or to play cards? y'all really doing death wrong
>>attempted to write a book but never got past the first few pages, as he would decide its not good enough and trash it.
nah, though i do like flash fiction. mostly i write poems just to let the muse sing through me now and then. like playing cards.

>>8524410
Why.

There's a great deal of effort put into growing, maintaining, harvesting, preparing, and roasting. The least one can do to respect those labors is to do the best with the product as one can.

Dude. Tumblr, Lmao

i want to die
jesus christ

>>8523862
Underrated post

>>8524321
>I've adopted alternative ways to clean myself (other than showering)

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What's goin on in here?
Anybody wanna trade rare Cliffs?

>>8524457
I have a sauna installed, I steam the crud out of my skin. My wife and I started this just to see how it worked, and would help with the process with soapless rags. Hair is a bit harder to wash but the production of oils can be minimized through maintenance., so it can be washed less and less often. It's also much more comfortable and intimate.

I'm sure a lot more people in the West would do it this way again if it were practical. I'm not practical so it fits.

>>8524203
This is my favorite kind of post.

I'm laughing for real right now.

No. I'm just a faggot.

>>8524471
Holy... I want more...

>>8523840
Wait, what is the proper way to read then?

>>8524369
>Eastern canon
what did he mean by this?

>>8524290
>>virgin
>yes
>>bitter and angry at the world
>yes
>>hates everything
>yes
>>>8524287 #
>you write like a woman, whore

Have you, by any chance, recently been visiting /r9k/?

>>8523876
t. insufferable pedant

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>>8523854

Where you from you can get wine for $4???

>>8525010
trader joe's

>>8523854
>is actually severely depressed but makes jokes about it so people think hes only ironically fucked in the head
This is a normie facebook meme now

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>Don't keep a "too read list", I just pick up books and read them until they bore me
>Rarely spend money on books. I steal them from libraries and dumpsters or just download them online
>Perfumed of hash, tea, and coffee
>Actual home is mostly cool looking trinkets I've collected. A ceramic skull collection. old paintings. a bunch of art and magazine clippings plastered on my wall. a bearskin rug and so on.
>Ideal date location is aforementioned bearskin rug

Bookworms wish they could be like me.

>>8525049
nah

>>8524249
>Coffee is the purest of all ideology.
Only if you don't drink decaffeinated coffee without cream and then it turns out there wasn't even any coffee ;^)

>>8523854

That hurt

>>8523886
>>8523854
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wgT4sjRiLAY

>>8524478
You're telling me you don't rinse off after taking a sauna?

>le book is always better meme
The only people who say this are people who don't read.

>buying books

Are readers going to become the new gamers? As in a completely taken niche used for marketing and consumerism by the bourgeois in suits?

>>8524254
You have triggered me.

>>8523854
Fuck you.

>>8525333
The only people who say it are people who read plebshit, because within that context it is overwhelmingly true. Plebshit books breed extremely plebshit movies. Ex. Eragon, Harry Potter.

>>8525045
>normies have taken self-deprecation

What is even left for us? That was my comedy wheelhouse for years

>>8525010
You can get 3 litre bottles for 2 euros here.

>>8524287
Post dick

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>>8523854
>it was actually good
>it will never be read

>>8524970
Probably Chinese, Indian, Persian, Japanese, Korean works.

>>8523854
>>Massive stack of western canonical works you dont have time to read that glare at you as you finish them one by one.
Yeah
>>$4 bottles of wine
I don't drink
>>cheap cigarettes
I don't smoke
>>unwashed dirty hair
Occasionally, when I don't go out for days on end, but never for more than a week.
>>room looks like Beethoven's outhouse
No, my apartment is pretty neet
>>expert at talking about books hes never read
I really, really, really try to avoid this, because I feel so embarrassed after I mention some obscure book I've never read, like it really hits hard after I do something that stupid and pretentious
>>virgin
yep
>>bitter and angry at the world
100%
>>hates everything
I don't hate my adorable hatsune miku and kasane teto nendoroid plushy dolls, or coffee, or hieronymous bosch, or music, or my family, or reading, but I do hate a lot of things
>>no hope for a better future
Yeah, I'd rather not work another day in my life, but at the moment I don't even know how to get out of being a neat, so I don't even have the luxury of wishing I never had to work again
>>thinking about buying Jerusalem or bottoms dream knowing he wont get to them for at least 2 years
Jerusalem sounds vaguely intriguing, but bottoms dream looks like a dumb, overly obtuse way to waste money.
>>is actually severely depressed but makes jokes about it so people think hes only ironically fucked in the head
I'm not like, severely depressed, but I am plagued by a lot of anxiety, and I seem to relive every embarrassing moment I've ever had at full strength, every day, because my consciousness never lets me forget them.
>>drinks absinthe and uses acid and shrooms occasionally, thinks he will learn something great from it but never really does.
I don't do drugs.
>>attempted to write a book but never got past the first few pages, as he would decide its not good enough and trash it.
I write a lot of short blog posts where I just try to go in depth into my thoughts as possible, but I'd like to feel that I have a firm grasp of what I admire in a book, before I go and just write something without having a good knowledge of other books that are out there.

>>8525333
>>8525450

Name 5 books with better film adaptations.

>>8525488
Not them, but I would say Valerie and Her Week of Wonders, Blind Beast, Heart of a Dog, Sansho the Baliff and The Cremator.

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>>8524203

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>>8523854
Pretty accurate for me pham

>>8525488
Fear and Loathing. Fight Club. The Right Stuff. A Clockwork Orange. American Psycho.

>>8523835
>date

do these sunday roasts even read?

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>>8523854
hello darkness my old friend

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>>8523854

>>8523842
ayy

>>8523854
ironically joking about being depressed is such an obnoxious ""cry for help"" move

>>8524150
he's a dragon

>>8523854
>>Massive stack of western canonical works you dont have time to read that glare at you as you finish them one by one.
Not really but I'm getting there. I don't read as much as I should.
>>$4 bottles of wine
Too poor even for that.
>>cheap cigarettes
Don't smoke
>>unwashed dirty hair
Yes
>>room looks like Beethoven's outhouse
What does that look like? It's a mess and my bed sheets haven't been washed in months.
>>expert at talking about books hes never read
I stopped talking about things I'm ignorant of after high school.
>>virgin
Had sex once 6 years ago.
>>bitter and angry at the world
Somehow no
>>hates everything
No but I have no interest or ambition or drive
>>no hope for a better future
Yes
>>thinking about buying Jerusalem or bottoms dream knowing he wont get to them for at least 2 years
no
>>is actually severely depressed but makes jokes about it so people think hes only ironically fucked in the head
Maybe
>>drinks absinthe and uses acid and shrooms occasionally, thinks he will learn something great from it but never really does.
No
>>attempted to write a book but never got past the first few pages, as he would decide its not good enough and trash it.
I've only written short stories. I have no desire to write anyway.

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>>8523854
>Massive stack of western canonical works you dont have time to read that glare at you as you finish them one by one.
Not really.
>>$4 bottles of wine
I don't drink, I tried it and it didn't give me much, so why should I keep at it?
>>cheap cigarettes
I don't smoke
>room looks like Beethoven's outhouse
usually, sometimes I clean it and then it looks nice.
>expert at talking about books hes never read
no
>virgin
yes
>bitter and angry at the world
not anymore
>hates everything
no
>no hope for a better future
I don't think about my future, and I don't care about it, really, what will be, will be, it's that simple.
>thinking about buying Jerusalem or bottoms dream knowing he wont get to them for at least 2 years
nope
>is actually severely depressed but makes jokes about it so people think hes only ironically fucked in the head
no
>drinks absinthe and uses acid and shrooms occasionally, thinks he will learn something great from it but never really does.
no
>attempted to write a book but never got past the first few pages, as he would decide its not good enough and trash it.
tried a few times, written a lot of poems, I destroyed everything. Now I only draw/paint.

>>8525045
It's been the average civilian for the last 5 millenia or so and probably before that too.

>>8524736
>>8525497
>brits and or tumblr users detected

>>8525488
One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, The Godfather, Raging Bull, The Shining, Fight Club

>>8523854
>Massive stack of western canonical works you dont have time to read that glare at you as you finish them one by one.
Check
>$4 bottles of wine
I just drink tap water and Scotch
>cheap cigarettes
Check, but only about once a month
>unwashed dirty hair
Check, but its super short
>room looks like Beethoven's outhouse
Check
>expert at talking about books hes never read
Check, allthough i always tell people i haven't read them, i just like to talk about why they seem interesting.
>virgin
Nope
>bitter and angry at the world
Only kind off.
>hates everything
Check
>no hope for a better future
Check
>thinking about buying Jerusalem or bottoms dream knowing he wont get to them for at least 2 years
Semi check. I want to buy Bottom's Dream and i'll probably get to it within 6 months.
>is actually severely depressed but makes jokes about it so people think hes only ironically fucked in the head
Semi check, i wouldn't say severely
>drinks absinthe and uses acid and shrooms occasionally, thinks he will learn something great from it but never really does.
Semi check, i just enjoy it and don't hope to learn.
>attempted to write a book but never got past the first few pages, as he would decide its not good enough and trash it.
Check.

I guess i'm pretty lit huh.

>>8525195
No, that's why we have rags.

It's like a spongebath but with steam doing the cleaning and the rag removing the crap. Much more resource-efficient than showering, more sanitary than bathing for two people in a standard-sized tub.
>>8525463
No.

>>8523854
>Massive stack of western canonical works you dont have time to read that glare at you as you finish them one by one.
yea
>$4 bottles of wine
I only drink vodka.
>cheap cigarettes
only smoke rarely and never the cheapest
>unwashed dirty hair
maybe a bit
>room looks like Beethoven's outhouse
pretty much yea
>expert at talking about books hes never read
could be but I try avoid it as much as I can
>virgin
yes
>bitter and angry at the world
absolutely yes
>hates everything
somewhat
>no hope for a better future
not that deep in shit yet
>thinking about buying Jerusalem or bottoms dream knowing he wont get to them for at least 2 years
nope
>is actually severely depressed but makes jokes about it so people think hes only ironically fucked in the head
damn you guys must know me well
>drinks absinthe and uses acid and shrooms occasionally, thinks he will learn something great from it but never really does.
Vodka is the one and only for me as I already said. Never tried any drugs, would try given the chance
>attempted to write a book but never got past the first few pages, as he would decide its not good enough and trash it.
never published anything but got a warm response on a short story I posted here a long time a go.

>>8525936
>Never tried any drugs
>drinks vodka

>>8524303
Only read Paradise Lost and speedread Darwin and Mach.
Should have bought Homer and Sophocles my dude.

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My god it's entirely about physical possession of books and nothing to do with the words in them

>>8526346
/lit/ in a nutshell

>>8526346
Book collecting is still a pretty nice hobby to have.

>>8526392
Rare book collecting is a pretty cool hobby, tracking down original prints of the bible from the 1700s and shit. But just collecting books is dumb shit. Just a money sink and a pretty library.

>>8523854
>Having stacks of books
>Drinking cheap wine
>not washing
>I will concede everything past this line except absinthe, acid, and shrooms. Real niggas arn't brave enough to go find weed.

>>8523854
This reads like bait

>>8526399
At what point do you start considering it rare? I collect fine presses, which while they aren't the hardest thing to come across, you definitely aren't going to go to B&N and find them.

>>8526424
Not my place to judge as I don't collect books myself. But I would assume that Age times Rarity times Quality decides the rareness of the book.

>>8526428
I was asking what, in your opinion, is the threshold to considering it rare book collecting vs regular collecting. Less than 1,000 in print? A least a century old?

>>8524471
is that nick caves son

>>8525488
Shining, Carrie, Shawshank Redemption, 1408, The Lawnmower Man.

>>8526444
now name some with good books

>>8526450
The other people who replied to that gave good books.

>>8525488
Barry Lyndon, The Lost World, Casino Royale, Doctor Strangelove, GoodFellas.

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>>8524410
>current year
>still drinking the liquid rabbi

>>8523866
whatever you say, nerd

>>8524247
>paying money for permission to view an electronic file of which you have no legal possession

>>8524264
Starbucks french roast is not weak at all.

>>8527373
>implying anyone here buys ebooks

>>8527384
>doing things that are illegal
You're only making this worse for yourself.

>>8524471
>sharing cliffs
is this a thing now?

>>8527373
>remove DRM and convert file

>>8523854
My god that hurt

>>8524261
>tfw your water bottle spills in your bag soaking your copy of Capital vol1 making it necessary to take it out you bag in a lecture making you look like a pseud and it eventually ballooning to 4 times its size

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>>8527406
>he doesn't collect rare goblins

>>8527421
>added value